Does a straight male cd have a place in the LGBTQ community?

[ThisIsBob]

So my wife is very active in our local LGBTQ community. She's on the board of our area Pride Community Center. I go with her to most if their events to show my support as a straight ally, and I've met some pretty cool people as a result.

I've recently come to the conclusion that I need to find someone outside my home that I can share Jamie with: makeup advice, style tips, just chatting with someone that "gets it". My initial thought was that folks in the local pride community were likely the best place to start looking for that. While I don't fear outright rejection from the pride folks, I am a little concerned that I would be marginalized as a "just a fetishist" instead of someone that belongs in their community as more than a straight ally. Sort of the mentality of, "Oh you have the wrong room, your group is meeting down the hall."

So straight men: are any of you active in your local LGBTQ communities? If so, are you "out" to them as a CD? How did they receive you when you came out to them?

Folks that are LGBTQ: how would you receive a straight male who came out as a CD at a meeting of a pride group you belong to?

[Tracii G]

My chapter welcomes all so its a non issue.

[sandra-leigh]

So straight men: are any of you active in your local LGBTQ communities? If so, are you "out" to them as a CD? How did they receive you when you came out to them?

I am not especially active in the community, but they treat me pretty well, and actively take steps to make me and the social club I belong to feel welcome.

[sterling12]

Your doing this The Hard Way! You need to find The "T" in LGBQT! Now your Pride Center might be a good place to start, as they should have liaison with various T-Support Groups around The Area. But Gay men and Women aren't particularly interested in supporting Trans People beyond Civil Tolerance, and defending your Right to be whom you wish to be. Yes, you can make friends of individuals within The Gay Community, but I think you'll find that they are just as naive about us as the rest of society.

If you want to start "reaching out" to other T-Gurls, and you want them to start reaching back to you, there is no better place to start than at a local group. Yeah, I know your in Texas, and that's The Home for a lot of Tri-Ess Groups. And although you might be turned off by The National's Stance about Gay people, it doesn't necessarily apply to individual chapters. And, there are a lot of other Groups around that State, not just Tri-Ess Affiliates.

Think I'd start a Web Search right now! There is no better time than The Present Time to make those first steps.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[kimdl93]

Of course. I feel totally welcome within Houston's LGBT community.

[~Joanne~]

I am not "out" so I am not active in the LGBT community. I have too many fears, confusion, and other things that keep pushing me backwards rather than forwards. I was hoping this holiday season was going to help me over come some of these but it's not looking good. I would love to be active in the community though if the time ever does come for me.

[AllieSF]

Another "Of course!". A lot depends on you and how you interact with others. If you are open, honest and fun, sometimes fun being the most important, everyone will welcome you with open arms, or at least a smile. If you go with a bad attitude, quiet and shy, who knows how they will take to you?

[ArleneRaquel]

Being honest will bring acceptance.

[Eryn]

I think that everyone has a place in the LGBT community, even if one of those letters doesn't directly apply to them. One can support others without being a member of a specific group.

[Leah Lynn]

As far as I can tell, the closest LGBTQ group to me is 70 miles away, so I'm not involved. I did some research, though, and they seem to be predominately concerned with gay and lesbian issues. The nearest Tri-Ess group is over 100 miles away. No involvement there, not even contact. I can't even get responses from bars and clubs that claim to be LGBT friendly, as to their friendliness to CD's/Trans. Sucks to be stuck in the corn patch.
Myself,I am straight, albeit, if I could transition I would be a lesbian. Maybe then I'd get recognition.

[Badtranny]

There is no place outside of the internet for closeted people. If you're looking for a community or a new circle of friends you need to get out and start meeting people. Everybody knows where the "gay" bar is in your small town so go have a drink. Meet someone, make a friend, maybe dance a little. Oh you're too uptight to have a drink in a gay bar? Try getting over it and not judging people because I can pretty much guarantee that your small town queer bar is NOT a meat market and you will NOT be approached aggressively by any body. In fact you'll probably be ignored except for a couple of "how ya doin's".

If you want to meet some queer folks just so you can have a more liberal audience for your "coming out", then start by just making new friends first. CD's tend to blow the cross-dressing into a much bigger issue than it really is. If you wanna cross-dress than do it and be proud of who you are.

[luscious]

if you are a CD then you are also a TG

CD=CROSSDRESSER=TRANSGENDER

TG=TRANSGENDER=GIRL

now if you are a math major or an engineer this will help you to model girls in an analytical way

[Beverley Sims]

I think Melissa and Luscious have the answer here somewhere.
Forget about how straight you are, and mix and socialize with your wifes group.
Someone will give you an opening and acceptance.
I doubt you would be shunned. I am sure I am straight, but I can't lie straight in bed so get on with it.
Enjoy life.

[NathalieX66]

Well, I uh......since I often dress as female in public , I am no longer straight by definition, though I'm still attracted to women. ....ok, that's that.

[ReineD]

While I don't fear outright rejection from the pride folks, I am a little concerned that I would be marginalized as a "just a fetishist" instead of someone that belongs in their community as more than a straight ally. Sort of the mentality of, "Oh you have the wrong room, your group is meeting down the hall."

This has been my SO's and my experience when we used to go to the local GLBT club a lot, in the beginning when my SO was starting to go out. It is mostly a gay bar and the guys pretty well kept their distance. They weren't rude or anything, but they didn't have much to say to us.

And it has also been our experience at the lesbian bars that we've gone to. We've had nice, "hi how are ya" nods, but they haven't rushed headlong into conversations with us either. Although my SO is quiet, I'm not, I make friends rather easily, but my attempts at conversation have been a no-go. One lesbian was rather friendly to my SO (they met on myspace) but she was an activist and she wanted activist friends who would help her with events. She had absolutely no interest in discussing anything girlie with my SO. lol

The best source of like-minded people has been my SO's rather large TG support group that is comprised of everyone across the T spectrum.

[new2this]

I met my SO in my local gay pub, it was my So's first time in that bar though is a regular in her/his closest one and had never not felt accepted. I've found that the LGBT community where I live are very accepting of everyone. I've been drinking in the gay pubs for the last 10 years and have never seen anyone have any problems at all. The one I go too the majority of people know each other but always welcome new people. I think the more outgoing and friendly you are the easier it is to get talking to someone. If your wife is active in the LGBT community and you're nervous, can she not go with you as moral support?

[Vickie_CDTV]

The only problem is, you are a heterosexual male who likes to wear women's clothing. Gay men are attracted to men and don't wear women's clothing (with rare exception.) You might find it a bit difficult to find friends or be accepted among them, not because one is necessarily better than the other, but just because of a lack of commonalities with them.

[Rogina B]

It is Pride Festival here in Jax,Fl and I am a participant.I held one end of the UU Church banner in the parade,worked the crowd,etc..It is an LGBTQ Festival,and I am the T "ambassador",so I really get a sense of how the T's fit in the group.It is all good as we are all different,but the same...we are outside of the norm[and with the Bible thumpers of the South,who wants to be normal??] Like others have said,you can do your thing in their world and you will find other T's doing that as well. I went to a TG meeting after the parade and then to the big LGBTQ nightclub afterwards that was filled with people of ALL discriptions..As Reine pointed out,none of the G and L clubs are "meat markets" for T's and you are apt to just get a smile or a wave from most there,but no pitchfork! lol I am sure there is a T support subgroup of your wifes in your area,you just need to seek it out.

[Beth Wilde]

You should be as welcome as anyone else. I get accepted as a gay man and a CD, though less people talk when I'm dressed..... Members of the LGBTQ community should be the last to judge others when they don't like being judged, this isn't always the case unfortunately but you should find lots of people to talk with and hopefully even more friends.

Good luck.

[NicoleScott]

The LGB is about sexual preferences. The T is about gender identification and/or presentation. It's a mismatch. No wonder it's a weak association.

[Phoebe]

So my wife is very active in our local LGBTQ community. She's on the board of our area Pride Community Center. I go with her to most if their events to show my support as a straight ally, and I've met some pretty cool people as a result.

I've recently come to the conclusion that I need to find someone outside my home that I can share Jamie with: makeup advice, style tips, just chatting with someone that "gets it". My initial thought was that folks in the local pride community were likely the best place to start looking for that. While I don't fear outright rejection from the pride folks, I am a little concerned that I would be marginalized as a "just a fetishist" instead of someone that belongs in their community as more than a straight ally. Sort of the mentality of, "Oh you have the wrong room, your group is meeting down the hall."

So straight men: are any of you active in your local LGBTQ communities? If so, are you "out" to them as a CD? How did they receive you when you came out to them?

Folks that are LGBTQ: how would you receive a straight male who came out as a CD at a meeting of a pride group you belong to?

I believe Tri-Ess identifies with "T". Tri-Ess is a heterosexual support group for mostly married crossdressers. Some chapters do accept single male crossdressers who identify with heterosexual lifestyle. So if there is a Tri-Ess group in your area, that would be a group that would accept you. I belong to a local transgender support group, estimate that 90 percent idendify as MtF transgender or some have completed the transistion. I identify as a crossdresser going to the group functions and am accepted as others are who attend group functions.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Tri-Ess allows all hetero dressers in their chapters, as full members, married or not (at least they are supposed to.)

[GaleWarning]

There are other arenas in which the battle for full acceptance of the LGBT community is being fought.
You will find me in those, rather than in the bars and clubs.
I guess it's because I am getting older ...

[ReineD]

now if you are a math major or an engineer this will help you to model girls in an analytical way

This equation is no longer valid.

More women than men now are getting college degrees, which means that women are fully able to take care of their own financial needs and further, in some marriages the wife actually makes more than the husband.

The basic premise that "girls = time + money" is no longer true, although admittedly, the following is true:

For girls, "boys = time"
For boys, "girls = time"

So you see, having removed the money factor, it is no longer possible to extrapolate to "girls = evil"

[ChristineReid]

Sorry - but I don't know what LGBTQ is? Actually just worked it out Lesbian, Gay Bi Trans something?? Not a term I'm familiar with. However I think (if this is what I think) that we are different. I think gays and TGs (i.e. people who want to change sex??) are accepted - perhaps because they are 'further out' than we are. From what I have read gays tend to diparage TVs/Cds - maybe as half-hearted - who knows. For me it's about expressing the femme side of me in a physical way. It's definitely got a sexual kick to it (but what's wrong with that) - but it definitely goes deeper. Cx