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Thread: Female Identity?

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    Female Identity?

    I ask because I'm not sure where I belong here. I thought I'd belong in the transsexual section, since I'm a GM and I identify as female, but the people there seem to prefer to restrict it to those who intend to transition in the not-too-distant future. But I don't want to transition till it's easy and cheap and I probably won't mind waiting till the next life to transition, since I'm over 60 anyway.

    Do other TGs post here? I'm a part-time CD, when I'm in my room, but most CDs aren't TGs, are they? Do most CDs consider themselves feminine males, or do they mostly identify as females?

    It seems that younger people don't like to interact much with older people either. But we older people tend to identify with younger people, since we were younger not so long ago ourselves. I mean I feel like my age is a lie, just like my sex or gender feels like a lie.
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 10-23-2012 at 11:00 AM. Reason: pic removed

  2. #2
    Member AllisontheGoddess's Avatar
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    I like to interact with EVERYONE and I'm young but I don't think that people on this site will discriminate too much where you post--so long as it's in the general right section :P

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member Nicola2876's Avatar
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    I've always found people on here friendly and for the most part helpful. You may disagree with opinions but that's life.
    I identify myself as female. I know inside I am truly female but I live as a man and to everyone I know I am a man. In a perfect world I would be able to transform this body and live as a woman.
    I'm 39 by the way and to my daughter thats OLD!

  4. #4
    Junior Member WyrmQueen's Avatar
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    I definitely identify as female when I dress up. I feel like I just transform into a girl. When I'm in boy mode, I identify as a boy and I feel as a boy but I also hate it. Like I just want to be a girl and find a big, strong man to make me feel better about myself.

  5. #5
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    Heres something for you. im on many forums around the world of way over 160 different forums, theres only three, im a member im on that i really do relate too, two are intersexed, & one a woman only forum.

    Now does that say i cant be a member of others , no of cause not, so the ? then is do i belong or fit in here,

    Well i was wellcomed here, by quite a few others because of my difference i can move around quite a bit,

    Ill answer ?s & give advise, because i do have expreance in a few fields that iv been involved with for too many years, it does not say every thing i say will help its we give of what we'v been through things we'v learned. & best of all we make friends here, just enter in as i have,

    Hey iv had a lot of issues to go through such as writeing spelling ( dyslexia major ) learning computers & so on in the begining it was so hard, yet, im still here, i think im hopefully better than when i first came here,

    To be a part of any community iv found that you enter in have fun & dont take your self too seously & yes we all have our moments ,just life,....A.... yet we can bounce back. just enjoy your self,

    ...noeleena...

  6. #6
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    Many of the active dressers here identify as female, dressed or not dressed. There are most likely more TGs that don't transition than do because of the expense and huge determination needed to succeed. Welcome here! We all like to talk! lol
    Sally

  7. #7
    Platinum Member
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    There's a set of definitions at the beginning of this,section that will help clear up who are CD, TG and TS. That taken care of, welcome , you are among kindred souls of all ages.

  8. #8
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    Welcome to the forum LelaK!

    I am a simple heterosexual, happily married crossdresser. I identify myself as male and live my life as a male. That's the way I prefer to live my life. The only thing that makes me different from a "normal" man is that I have an unusual hobby. Maybe I'm a minority here.

    I stay away from the transexual section because they don't seem to understand people like me and don't really seem to have much of a tolerance for us. The M to F crossdressing sections of the forum includes guys like me who have the unusual hobby, to people that identify themselves as females and everything in between. We welcome everyone.

    Enjoy your stay here!

  9. #9
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    I'm pretty new here, but I have noticed that every types of CD and TG are welcome here. I am trying to figure how who I am - I seem to be leaning toward TG and am exploring professional assistance/guidance.

    For every CD there is a different answer. For me it's expressing my true self. I never not want to dress. I've been a man for 53 years, but I have never been a Guys Guy. There have been other hints and sometimes it's difficult to see them. I wouldn't miss my man parts at all - would love to see them go - they just get in the way! So I guess I'm a man just beginning to let the woman out.

    So, post away (read the guidelines though - I have to re-read them to make sure).

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    When visiting the transexual section I usually restrict my comments to those issues.
    Girls there have a greater commitment insomuch as they are going one way and not back and forth like we do here.
    It is also wise to have some insight as to their problems, mood swings, medication and surgery issues.
    To go there and say you think you feel like a girl can be akin to putting your head in the lionesses den.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  11. #11
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Lela you are most likely on the far end of the CD scale. Many of us all call that TG. The TS section is for those that believe they should be female or are female. Most have or are suffering from GID. If you have no desire to transition in this lifetime you are most likely not TS but still might indentify with them.

    I think only a gender therapist can help you find the answer.
    Last edited by Marleena; 10-23-2012 at 09:27 AM. Reason: added info

  12. #12
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    I have always known I am a girl who was born with a defect of actually having a male body. I enjoy talking hese very much as a crossdresser because I havs (so far) kept to my choice of not transitioning. Yes It would be nice to have the complete package of a female body but my circumstances, the cost and my age make it something I choose not to do. The transexual section is less accepting of me because I am not going to transition so since I am only dressing up I fall more into the crossdressing category. It doesn't really matter what the reasons are you wear the clothes we all enjoy it.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    Thank you all.

    Okay. I guess this is the place for me then. I'll miss some of those I met in the TS section. Speaking of 39, I started to say last night that I can understand why Jack Benny used to always give his age as 39, no matter how old he got. Since he was a comedian, people took it as a joke, but I suspect that he really identified with that age range, since that's what I do now too. I deleted that part of my post though, because I wanted to emphasize the crying girl that expresses my feelings. I identify more with a slightly older girl, but that image was the closest to what I felt (and feel), that I could find online. I've always tended to sense the sadness of people in all the world, I guess because it resonates with my own. I suppose there are two kinds of sadness, i.e. hopeless and hopeful sadness. I think I harmonize with hopeful sadness, the kind that anticipates finding an understanding comforter. I did feel more hopeless sadness in my early adulthood too, but I happily found that it wasn't hopeless after all. Comforters did come.

  14. #14
    Banned Spammer
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    Welcome Lela hope you find a comfy place here and discover some happiness.
    I am TG and try to deal with all the internal emotions I have but like most here you will find "your place"eventually.
    Interact,post and get to know people here and that will help quite a bit to resolve the issues you have.
    There are sections here I'm not comfy in and the TS section is one of them so I don't go there too often.
    Stay in the general section until you feel ready to venture elsewhere.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member elizabethamy's Avatar
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    You belong where you feel you belong. And if you don't know, it helps to be in all the different places until you find your comfort zone...for me the most useful distinction is exactly that -- comfort. To me, the MTF CD section is primarily for those who enjoy their dressing, are comfortable with who they are, and are content to dress when they can, often comparing photos and information about places to buy clothes and shoes and accessories. None of those are my concerns, so even though I haven't fully decided (discovered?) what and who I am, I spend my time with those who are most readily trying to deal with relentless gender dysphoria, whether they have decided to transition or not...but the great thing about this website is that one can learn amazing things anywhere. Welcome!

    elizabethamy

  16. #16
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    The best thing about this website for me was learning I am not alone. I am unique but not alone anymore. It seems like we are all accepted here. Lela, you too are not alone.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    Thanks again. I appreciate it much. Dad, who died this spring at age 90, once said I'm like lightning, because I follow the path of least resistance. I suppose he actually meant I'm like water, which is more commonly said to follow the path of least resistance, I think. That's what I thought of now when you said I should go here to places where I feel comfortable. But I think the lesson he meant to give me was to venture out of my comfort zone. And I suppose we all do have to do that in order to progress. But it seems that both pieces of advice, though seemingly opposed, are nonetheless both good. I imagine we all live with plenty of contradictions to begin with and my thoughts are sometimes drawn to such things, making me feel amazed that reality can exist in such a state of contradiction. Although I then wonder if the contradictions are actually illusory. If so, then illusions are fun, at least for a time.

  18. #18
    The avvy pic isn't me
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    At the risk of sounding very sarcastic (please take no offense) you may never live enough lifetimes to see a cheap and easy transition.

    Science fiction movies not withstanding, i don't see it ever getting much better.

    As for what are we? and where do we belong, i still tend to believe in the "TG as a spectrum' principle, and we are all therefore transgendered.
    But many here feel strongly that CDers and TG are different beings.

    Prolly the best you can do is get a feel the forum in general and of the greater majority and post according to the golden rule. You'll no doubt find there's some who are just never happy and make comments, but let it go.

  19. #19
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsMjSerene View Post
    At the risk of sounding very sarcastic (please take no offense) you may never live enough lifetimes to see a cheap and easy transition.

    Science fiction movies not withstanding, i don't see it ever getting much better.
    I actually have a good feeling about the medical future for TSs. I would not call what teenage TS girls can go thru now "easy", but it sure is a huge improvement over what choices they had even just 20 years ago.
    Sally

  20. #20
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    LelaK wrote:
    Speaking of 39, I started to say last night that I can understand why Jack Benny used to always give his age as 39, no matter how old he got. Since he was a comedian, people took it as a joke, but I suspect that he really identified with that age range
    Interesting way to explain how we identify to ourselves, rather than how we might feel the way the rest of the world identifies us. I've been 'stuck' identifying to myself as a 14 year old girl for about 40 years. Sure, I know it's not true, but that doesn't change how I feel.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  21. #21
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Lela just have fun on the forum. I personally don't care where people place themselves on the gender scale. If they're cool I'll be friends with them.

    As far as who is what, good luck with that!

  22. #22
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    If I may ask, and I mean this sincerely and not in a condescending way, how have younger people not been willing to interact with you here?

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