Sounds like you won the bet, sweetie! Go for it.Originally Posted by Lady Catherine
I would talk to her about communication, though. My wife does things like that all the time, but she has my permission and we have discussed that beforehand.
Talk to her, find out what she said and why...and go from there. Then talk about what is and isn't OK to say on behalf of each other.
Maybe she didn't say anything at all and your friends are trying to out you!
Meghan
"No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back."
~Turkish Proverb
She may be engaging in damage control, not for you but for herself. She may not want others to know you are a CDer, and so she's making up this elaborate story about you losing a bet? Maybe she just assumes that since you enjoy CDing, you will want to dress publicly at Halloween?
Reine
I went to a holloween party this past sat. and I made a beatuiful looking NUN [no pic yet]. Was dress full bra make-up and all, except a wig, had a blast. One other time my wife dress me as maid of honor and she was the groom and a friend [a gg] was the bride [won $25] best part I was hit on then this time I was ask to dance by a guy and he knew me as a male too. No one made any remarks or anything like that and I go to that club all the time in drab. So stop cryuing and get dress up for you woman and have a hell of good time
Go for it and enjoy it while you can, as some others have said sounds like a shopping trip. Get a complete make over if possible and enjoy the time you have.
Well, the cat's out of the bag so to speak, about you "having to", but I would have preferred it myself if my SO hadn't gone off and shouted it from the top of every mountain. That way if you happened to run into someone you knew (who wasn't on to you anyway), you could just explain it then. There's an old Shakespeare line about "Methinks the lady doth protest too much" that comes to mind, it makes people suspicious - and if you didn't want your friends suspicious, well...
Not much you can do about it now but go along, but while I wouldn't have been fuming mad, I wouldn't have been happy about it either.
I don't think crystal would like that much if I did that to her... It's taking away the choice you have as a person, and lets everyone think about you in a dress, which if no one thinks anything like that right now may make them think about it more than they would. I don't know how closeted you are, but I can see some of that being uncomfortable.
On the other hand, there isn't much you can do about it but make the best of it and discuss ways you and your fiancé can respect each other's boundaries.
So. I have spoken to her and apparrently i haven't lost the bet...yet. She was laying out the ground work if I wanted to dress and is leaving it up to ME if I lose or not. This definately makes me feel better about the whole thing and actually has me looking forward to this adventure.
I would like to thank you all for some really good advise.
I know enough to know I don't know enough.
Peace
Two ways of reacting to this. One - tell her you are upset and refuse. tell everyone else you made no such bet. OOOOORRRRRR Two- take this one opportunity to live a dream that many here never will. You have a one night pass. I say go for it. Im sure she is just trying to be the best SO ever.
I can see your unhappiness with this situation but look on the positive side and just go with the joke.
It will break new ground for you as everyone will want to see what you look like.
You may even lose the bet again and those that did not see you the first time may want you to dress again.
Now how sad is that...
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I am glad you worked that out with each other. It's like my dad always said "when in doubt, talk it out".
That's true except my dad never said that, just sounded like a fun thing to attribute to someone...
Seriously, she may not have thought of it as a big thing and may have fully intended to help you. Either way, it's good that you talked. I am still amazed at how easily I can misinterpret something and spin it into something way different than it actually is. Talking can help equalize and reset things
Meghan
"No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back."
~Turkish Proverb
OH!!YEAH!!! I would love to loose that kind of bet.it would be hard for me to dress.LOL yeah right im going to have to see if i can do it too
I think you are over reacting. She is paving the way for you to have a night out as you sound to have wanted so why not go with the flow. worst comes to worst, it's halloween and can be written off amongst friends and such.
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
No I do not think you are over reacting at all. This is a serious breech of confidence and I would have a serious discussion about it. She broke your trust by telling anyone anything personal about you without your consent. What else is she talking about that you don't know?
It is good you talked to each other - if she is being supportive in other ways be grateful
You get to dress right? So the problem is...? Or maybe this is just my way of seeing things
Sonia now has a flickr stream...can she interest you to hop over and take a peek?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/soniacd/
She's also on Facebook now...and she'd like very much to be your friend
http://www.facebook.com/sonia.cd1
If she's in effect leaving it up to you, that's good. Whenever you get out, I think it should be a situation that you're comfortable with. So if you're OK doing this, say you lost the bet and dress. If you don't really like the situation, then say you won the bet. Go with what you're comfortable doing.
This is something you and your SO need to discuss between you. If you say anything to anyone else it will make you look petty and make her look silly.
Wear the clothes (if you want) and go with it. Are you afraid someone will think you are ....a bad gambler?
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
If you end up deciding to win this bet instead of "having to " dress on Halloween , perhaps you could go double or nothing where you would "have to" dress as a girl every weekend for the following year.
Your wife is offering you an incredible gift , I'm glad you are starting to see that.
I would be extremely upset with my wife if she ever did anything like this. It's great that you have spoken about it since, but I would feel like my privacy and my right to make my own choices was violated by any actions even remotely like this. If you two had planned it together, then great, but acting unilaterally is a whole different scenario. It sounds like it all will work out in the end, but I would have a serious talk with my SO if anything like that ever happened.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
You ladies are all awesome. Some really good advice here. We have spoken at penthouse about this and she sees my point of view and feels really bad about not asking first. She was trying to help and be supportive so I have an oppertunity to ho out and have fun. I told her to forget it but to talk to me first next time.
I'm honestly looking forward to it at this point. It should be fun.
I know enough to know I don't know enough.
Peace
I would take advantage of it and have fun with it
enjoy
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
Yes, you are over-reacting. PLUS, and this is a big plus, you are terrified and searching for another excuse not to do this. Listen, your wife has given you the go ahead, paved the way with friends and family, and YOU are complaining that she didn't "check with you first"? Are you insane?
No, probably not insane. But you are still scared and you are still searching for a reason not to do this. Relax. Enjoy the fact that you have a loving and caring spouse.
S
It's awesome you've managed to work it through. I can understand where you are coming from though. I'd be rather upset if my wife had done this to me. While I understand that it's certainly awesome to have such support, I think I'd be using our stop word pretty quickly and asking for a nice long talk. It's not so much about the action, but I'd feel burdened or pressured to present personal information to people I'm currently not willing to share it with, even under the guise of a lost bet. I'd be pretty uncomfortable.
However all that being said, once we talked things through (likely coming to the same conclusion you two did) and that while it's outside my comfort zone, next time she'd ask first. Then I'd go shopping
Have a good time, tell us all about it when it's done.
Just wondering what happened with the bet and Halloweeeeen night ?
I don't know you guys or the circumstances, so it's a bit hard to say. However, I'll say this: unless you gave her consent to talk to other people about your dressing, she has no business in doing so, even if the intentions are good. The excuse of Halloween is good, but still. I believe it would have been nicer of her to have consulted with you first.
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