when will we be accepted??

[Nicole Erin]

Honestly? I dont think that the problem lies with other people most of the time - it's US.
When you are nervous and uncomfortable yourself, it makes people nervous and uncomfortable to be around you. If you are bold as hell and dont give a shit, most people will treat you well.

The way to gain confidence is by going out, living your life. I have been full time for a couple years now and still get jitters once in a while but it fades pretty fast. I leave the house wearing what some might call "daring" and feel a bit nervous, I get in my car and my nervousness soon turns to "when is this stupid car gonna fall apart?"

But yeah for real - if you don't act nervous and just live your life, people are less likely to be rude. The few that will still be rude are usually trashy people who do not matter anyways.

With women loving gay men - I have no clue why that is. I mean who really cares what consenting adults do behind closed doors, but some gay men act all swishy and I personally think it is obnoxious. I have yet to see a CD or TS act swishy like that, regardless of their respective "levels" of gender identity.

[JamieQ]

Honestly? I dont think that the problem lies with other people most of the time - it's US.
When you are nervous and uncomfortable yourself, it makes people nervous and uncomfortable to be around you. If you are bold as hell and dont give a shit, most people will treat you well.

Could not have been said better...

[Beverley Sims]

Presenting as a guy in female attire looks odd and you stand out.
Every body has worked out what a gay guy is but less know what we might be.
Wear a dress and don't pass and you may be more acceptable as you do not present as weird but as a guy in a dress.
Stepping out with confidence has a great effect as well.

[MindyJ]

Honestly? I dont think that the problem lies with other people most of the time - it's US.
When you are nervous and uncomfortable yourself, it makes people nervous and uncomfortable to be around you. If you are bold as hell and dont give a shit, most people will treat you well.

I went into a "we ship everthing" store in male mode but wearing a leotard and jeans. The macho man who greeted me immediately gave a most unsettling look when he saw me walk in. However, I acted like everything was a-ok and the guy treated me normally. Except for the god-awful expensive quote to ship a package overnight.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Re-reading this thread, I've noticed a couple comments suggesting one "camp" or the other has it easier. Some seem to think folks like me who dress as male but in female clothes have it easier, some think those who present clearly as trying to blend have it easier. I think that is a very divisive and unhealthy game to play. The truth is we all have our aspects that make us more or less accepted, and we all could probably share a mixed bag of things going great and things going badly. Rather than sit around thinking about how good the other side has it we should remember we're all the same side and only by all of us getting out there will we make a change.

[Melissa_59]

I don't know, I think a lot of acceptance depends on where you live. I'm kind of in the big huge "hubcap beltbuckle" of the Bible belt, in my tiny little town (it says "population 100,000" but they're counting the sheep twice) there are over 300 churches and people here are very close minded about many things. It's VERY different here than it is from Austin. There are people that are die hard about that line in the Bible about men wearing women's clothes being an 'abomination before God' - the same people who are wearing 50% cotton, 50% polyester clothes (which is also an abomination before God, same book of the Bible), and they will get in your face and tell you in no uncertain and high volume terms.

For many things, this is a great little town - very little traffic, very little crime, low cost of living and a very dry climate which is good for my wrecked shoulder and spine. But I don't go out dressed here. I don't need the grief that comes with it.

Melissa

[heatherdress]

"When will I be accepted?" - a question most people ask, usually all through their life, in many situations, over and over. As Kimberly and others stated, it usually depends upon the person who seeks acceptance, as well as those they seek acceptance from. Acceptance by other kids, by school mates, by team members, by family members, by neighbors, in the Service, at work, by in-laws (sorry to add the impossible), etc. We do worry about acceptance, perhaps too much, but can't dismiss our needs.

If you heighten the "acceptance barriers" by crossdressing (which we do), then you must be: great looking and blend (readily "pass"); or be very selective about where you go and who you are with; or diminish your desires to be generally "accepted".

[Thera Home]

but what I dont understand, women LOVE THE GUY THATS GAY and just ignore us, totally..

Hi All

That's because they don't feel threatened. A threatened woman is "hell on wheels"
Women will never accept the "brainfarts"(Talking about me so nobody get thier feelings hurt)we dish out. Don't believe me?......marry one
But,the fun part is you battle with someone you love and you know your always going to give in.

When are they gonna learn



Thera

[Gillian Gigs]

I often wonder if it has alot to do with the "vibes" that an individual gives off. If you don't feel comfortable with yourself... then why would any one else? Animals, like cats, dogs, and horses can tell when someone is nervious, or something is not right, so that sets them off. Does the same thing happen with humans? I am prone to think so. No one likes a phony person, to me the secret is to be comfortable with who you are and present an air of confidence, people like to hang out with other confident people.

[jsunic_1978]

i am much more accepted presenting as a female, but sometimes i just want to be a guy in womens clothes, thats what people dont understand the most, but im treated ok.

when I showed the store workers of me fully dressed they were enlightend. I dont want to appear femm all the time as i am straight and i like women. They were just young kids working and I think I just interrupted there party as I was checking out and hoped i would take more time to look so they can keep chit chatting. They were pretty nice to me. I thjink I just think too much

Evreyonr has GREAT COMMENTS People that tell me that have seen me in wig make up say i still dont pass. So around where i live, i just present as a guy. I actually went to my corner pubb just last night, neighborhood bar. Evrey single person accpets me, also, they knew me for years which helps. onr guy did say, hey, why is this guy carrying a purse? he just wanted to ask and thats ok. I just said because I feel like it and it looks fun as women carry them

I klike your comment Gillian. I can see how an off day of mine can affect my confidences. On an off day from now on, ill leave the female gear alone all together. I really do want to go to stores i usually dont go to and buy some shoes a beautiful female sales associate has tried on. but, no one ever will try to understand shoe fetishes so, ill just buy at the second hand younger womens clothing stores and ill just let the SA ack

[Moxie]

Acceptance comes with understanding, and if crossdressers don't understand themselves, how can anyone else??

Just sayin'.

[sometimes_miss]

Lots of people accept us. My problem is, crossdressing pretty much destroys any sexual attraction most women might feel towards us, to the extent that, over 99% of women simply aren't interested in dating a crossdresser at all, ever. With about 2.5% of all men crossdressing on a regular basis, that leaves well over 2/3's of us with absolutely no chance of ever finding anyone. And finding them? Virtually impossible unless you're willing to out yourself to the world, and even then, the chances are still very slim indeed.

[5150 Girl]

Well, crosdressers comming out are still kind of new to the most of the population. It will take time and they will get used to seeing us. However, we need to put ourselves out there so we can be gotten used to as it were.... like I always say, "The more common place we make ourselves, the more common place we'll become