involuntarily purged, everything gone

[chrismy]

wife took everything ... my hanger row in the closet.. skirts, blouses, dresses..
gone.. 2 drawers of lingerie. shoes.. makeup.. jewelry... curlers..gone.. i came in
and found out... asked .. whats goin on? ... she said whats goin on is im not sharing my house with another women... a DADT that devolved to a UTELL now. i am truly devastated... the time and effort and stress for me gather this wardrobe.. some nice things... gone,, but this is nothing compared to how totally violated,
degradated and (all the other applicable adjectives that end in ED) that i feel. is this the hollow angry helpless feeling she got when i told her the truth about my life for as long as i can remember? .. so still in shock after 24 hours... surreal. but trying to take the bigger picture into view... this is a groundswell of intolerance and personal disregard that truly speaks volumes... if thats not bad enough i have not one single pair of panties to sleep in .. ) we will see what tomorrow brings. any day you wake up on this side of the grass is a good one. cheers to us all on our difficult path!
ps...tomorrow i am planning on shaving my legs in protest... )

[RainyNightGirl]

I can understand completely why you feel violated and degraded. It's an act of vandalism as far as I can tell. Your wife maybe upset but I do not think that warrants destruction of your property.

Best wishes
Natasha

[TiffanyGreene]

Sorry to hear this! I think I would feel violated as well. I am basically in a DADT myself. Not sure what a UTELL is or if it is something i may need to watch out for....

Just wondering how long it has been since you first told her. From your earlier posts I guess it to be around the first couple of months this year.

Best of luck

[Beverley Sims]

I would play this one very carefully for now especially if this is the only problem with your marriage.
Without knowing would even suggest don't shave your legs tomorrow.
Let it ass smooth over a bit.
Nothing worse than a cat fight and scratching each others eyes out.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Dont mess with the queen cat i know who's got the sharper claws & it ant you.

Okay theres more going on here, as youv said the bigger pic,

Lets look at this from the womans side how would you feel if this was the other way round, you can look back not forward, so to say oh that would be allright as you see it , think again,

If you are the woman what would you think & feel if your husband did as your doing trying to be the woman, or dressing ,

So before hitting the shaveing dept, in protest sit down with your wife & work through the real issues & problems before the heavy guns are drawn,

...noeleena...

[Angela Campbell]

I don't think I could stay in a relationship with so little regard for me. Throwing away your personal items is just over the line. I would have moved out that moment. Well... after throwing out some of her stuff.

[GinaM]

You should go thru her stuff and throw it away as well and see how she feels. I honestly would take a ton of her clothes and hide them for a few days and just tell her that since she thought it was a great idea to get rid of your clothes that you returned the favor and did the same for her and that you donated. Then, after a few days pull it out and give them back and just tell her how it made you feel.

[Carol Elizabeth]

Specifically, toss all her slacks - pants - shorts and tell her you don't plan to live with a man.

[kimdl93]

Chrisy, six months ago you posted that you had come out to your wife and that everything had gone wrong. At the time it seemed she was ending the marriage. What has happened in the past 6 months? Seems you've come full circle.

[wanagione]

Sorry to hear about this Chris. I wouldn't shaved my legs in protest I would just shave your legs because that is who you are. IT's not the clothes, and she is sharing the house with another woman, like it or not.

[Babeba]

Wow, how disrespectful of her.

Something tells me, though, that the two of you are not good at communicating. She's unhappy, she throws out your stuff... You're unhappy, you shave your legs... Can't either of you just say the feelings you feel? Can't the other just listen?

Have the two if you tried going to therapy together? Sometimes a neutral third person to mediate helps. I know if someone threw out several hundred dollars' of my things I would probably feel like they were throwing me out too, though.

[chrismy]

circle after circle after circle..... i am stiil walking around in a daze.... in shock...

[Lady Catherine]

I'm a very strong Alpha personality, and point blank that would be then end of the relationship if that happened to me. If there was a problem, it should have been talked about. You don't just throw some ones things away.

But I have to ask: did she try to communicate and you not listen? If so, this is on you. If not, then shave your legs and move on.

[carnut62]

I have had this happen a few times, I only keep a few items in my drawers. The last few times at least she didn't cut them up, she did that the first time I have usually been able to recover everything from the trash too, the last time she put a few items in her dresser, I had not seen that before.

If you don't think you can save yoru marriage I kind of like what Carol said, take her pants and any tank tops and tell her there is only room for one man in the house, see how she likes it. I dont' really think this would go over well so be sure to duck when you say it.

[Beverley Sims]

If ever she asks what's on the TV, tell her "dust".
Then duck.
I am sorry for you but bullying is a bit much.

[Sallee]

I would move on out and kiss that marriage good bye Sorry but there doesn't seem to be any mutual respect

[whowhatwhen]

If you don't think you can save yoru marriage I kind of like what Carol said, take her pants and any tank tops and tell her there is only room for one man in the house, see how she likes it. I dont' really think this would go over well so be sure to duck when you say it.

This would only end up much, much worse.
If the marriage cannot be saved then it's better for your personal well being to end it, but do not sink to her level.

You're better than that.

[docrobbysherry]

So, would u describe your marriage as a happy one, Chrismy? And, an equal partnership? With lots of open communication that both of u listen to and compromise whenever possible? Great sex and lots mutual interests u enjoy sharing together?

Your answer is, "Yes"? Then, don't worry! You'll get by all this!

Your answer is, "No"? Maybe u don't have real marriage? Maybe you're just room mates?

Think about it!

[jjjjohanne]

Wow. She must really be frustrated to do something like that. Seek counseling. Either you two are not communicating or one of you is not listening (which still means you two are not communicating). Some big move like this on her part should not have taken you by surprise. Crossdressing aside, to me (a non-professional), your relationship sounds unhealthy. Your relationship is more important than "winning" this battle!

[Lynn Marie]

she said whats goin on is im not sharing my house with another women...

[SIZE="4"]Like I've tried to get across many times before is that DADT doesn't work. Your wife finally had all she was going to take of this "other woman" in her home and she just evicted her. Did you really expect anything less was going to happen?

Here's your chance! This may be the only one you'll get before divorce! You and her are right now on equal ground. Everything is out in the open and up for negotiation. You can now sit and talk to each other in truth. No more hiding and sneaking around behind her back. Say it! Speak out on what's going on with you and also be prepared for what's going on with her. You just might be surprised. Women are a lot smarter than we men often give them credit for. If you feel that you need a mediator, then find a good friend or semi-professional pastor type, or bite the bullet and pay for professional help. Whatever it takes to find a common ground that you both can agree on.

Be prepared, this might not end well. Then again, it might end a lot better than you think.[/SIZE]

[tara t]

my first thoughts would have been to throw out her clothes too ,with any stupid reason , clothes too manly,too ****ty, too trendy,too old fashioned etc but realistically it will not help resolve the situation if thats what your hoping to do .
in the other thread when you came out to your wife did you explain weather you were keeping it between the two of you or were you going to go public ?, did you let her know what your intentions are ? had you two resolved any of the problems that arose from you opening up to her before you started stocking up on the clothes etc , had she agreed with you buying clothes or did you just do your own thing ?

[Lorileah]

mean and childish. Just immature. If she had a problem she should have discussed it. I would sleep with one eye open. I also prefer being married to adults...you know people who are not spoiled little brats

[Sharon B.]

I wouldn't be surprise if in a few days or weeks there isn't separation papers. Just my two cents worth.

[Cynthia Anne]

I know how you feel! My wife done the same thing to me a few years ago! That's how she came to be my X! Hope you find some happiness some wat!

[Jorja]

Well, to be honest, I have no snappy little tid bits of wisdom to share on this one. I have never been through that. Just know right or wrong we are here and we really care what happens.