Hints for Shopping En Drab (guy mode)

[outhiking]

Since I don't present in public, I have to buy my female clothes while dressed in normal, that is boring guy clothes. Here's a few hints to those who may find this type of shopping necessary, but intimidating:

1. Scope out the store beforehand. Know where the things are that you are interested in a few days before going into shop

2. Read up about the clothes, make-up, etc. that you are interested in so that you shop prepared and have an idea of what you are looking to purchase

3. Go in just after they open on a weekday

4. I like to be well groomed and in business casual clothing (hoodies and sunglasses make me feel like I look like a potential shoplifter)

5. Walk confidently to the area that you are intersted in and browse for the item(s) you want. Smile pleasantly at anyone who looks your way

6. Double-check that the size is correct and that the item has not obvious flaws - who want to come back for a return. Use a basket so that you can fold the article into it and it won't look so obvious

7. Walk calmly to the register, smile at the cashier and make your purchase. You are doing nothing illegal, immoral or shady

All-in-all, you can get in and out in about 10 minutes and with each trip you'll gain more confidence and find that you can start to browse a little more leisurely and actually start to enjoy the process. Shop for pretty things at first if you want to look like you are buying for your significant other, but then go for it.

Good luck!

[Robynne]

Also, if the opportunity presents itself, I go to the register with the most mature cashier. They are generally the friendliest.

[Beverley Sims]

7. Walk calmly to the register, smile at the cashier and make your purchase. You are doing nothing illegal, immoral or shady

All-in-all, you can get in and out in about 10 minutes and with each trip you'll gain more confidence and find that you can start to browse a little more leisurely and actually start to enjoy the process. Shop for pretty things at first if you want to look like you are buying for your significant other, but then go for it.

Good luck!

I have to look at this tongue in cheek.
You do have good advice for beginners here.
As you progress you realise how shady you have been over the years.
At the end of it all wear a dress and put on makeup, you don't have to do it all in 10 mins and you get to spend a lot mre money.

[ChelseaErtel]

[QUOTE=
At the end of it all wear a dress and put on makeup, you don't have to do it all in 10 mins and you get to spend a lot mre money.[/QUOTE]

So true. Good advice for starters. Remember that any establishment the opens their doors for business just want to make sales. I bet if you didn't pass in the least, you could go to Texas, go to a gun store and buy a weapon and the SAs would treat you wonderfully. Now, after you leave the store - run!!!!!!

[I Am Paula]

Being a pro level shopper, and very outgoing, I chat with the SA's all the time. I've had numerous conversations about guys shopping (obviously for themselves). Universally, they say they don't mind, will be glad to help, and let you use the dressing rooms. However, thier biggest creep out is guys lurking. Wearing sunglasses, wandering the dainties for a hour, not making eye contact or ignoring offers for help. Look like the uni-bomber, you'll be treated like the uni-bomber. I realize that confidence is some thing that has to be built, but just keep saying to youself...'I'm allowed here, no one cares what I'm doing here, the SA would sell a drug addled lab monkey a mini skirt (she's just waiting for closing time)... that pink top is to die for.' Hugs-Celeste

[Daisy41]

Great tips, outhiking! I follow all of these tips myself and it makes shopping much easier! The only thing I haven't done is tried on clothing in drab in women's specialty stores. Where as stores with a men's department, I will gladly haul clothes over to the men's fitting room and try stuff on there.

The biggest apprehension I ever got from shopping in drab is having other women shopping around me, even at sizes they obviously wouldn't fit in. I feel as if they're more "hovering". They seem to bounce right next to me, shuffle the racks then bounce away. Other than that, I shop as if I were shopping for my own clothes.

[Sara Jessica]

Very good starting out advice for the beginner.

Being a pro level shopper, and very outgoing, I chat with the SA's all the time. I've had numerous conversations about guys shopping (obviously for themselves). Universally, they say they don't mind, will be glad to help, and let you use the dressing rooms. However, thier biggest creep out is guys lurking. Wearing sunglasses, wandering the dainties for a hour, not making eye contact or ignoring offers for help. Look like the uni-bomber, you'll be treated like the uni-bomber. I realize that confidence is some thing that has to be built, but just keep saying to youself...'I'm allowed here, no one cares what I'm doing here, the SA would sell a drug addled lab monkey a mini skirt (she's just waiting for closing time)... that pink top is to die for.' Hugs-Celeste

I'll put myself in the pro shopper category as well and Celeste makes some really good points for those who wish to graduate to the upper division coursework . Even with experience and the best intentions, we can sometimes give off the wrong vibe as I found out earlier this year when I chose not to disclose that I was shopping for myself. I came across as a potential shoplifter, something that I learned after I eventually disclosed when I found something I simply HAD to try on. I am still their customer to this day and learned how I came across during my first visit when talking to the SA's. No harm, no foul and I definitely learned something.

[Stephanie47]

When I was a novice shopper I found ways to minimize my fears. I will conjecture, the younger you are the easier it is to buy for the other woman. It seems the older we get, the less likely it is for us to actually buy for a GG, wife or girlfriend.

I use to tear out the ad from a newspaper and write a brief note indicating the correct size to buy. It was a shopping crutch. "See my wife gave me the ad of the item she wanted so I would not make a mistake." Or, " checked her clothing for the size."

Shop for a wig at Halloween. There is plenty of time to buy at multiple locations. This is the best time to buy false eyelashes, too!

Shop a Christmas and Valentine's Day for pretties, including dresses and outfits. ASK FOR GIFT WRAPPING! Christmas is also the best time to buy makeup gift sets that include implements and a wide range of colors of eye shadow, etc. Great time to sample and buy perfume for your woman.

Do the same for your wife's or girlfriend's birthday. There is no limit for the number of birth dates she can have. ASK FOR GIFT WRAPPING.

For makeup, if you know the brand and color, shop at a variety store. It is a lot easier to throw a lipstick, eyeliner, etc into the shopping cart with groceries. You can write what shade the lipstick your wife wants on any manufacturers coupon. "See my wife wrote it down so I would not make a mistake!"

I know there are those who have suggested to just shop en femme, but, I am a realist. I also concur, please look like you're an ordinary guy, clean, casual attire. Do not go overboard with the 'masculinity.' Don't show up with greasy hands, torn up tee shirt and jeans, unshaven for a week. Homer Simpson will attract attention.

[Sharon B.]

I have gone into a woman's store in drab attire but under-dressed as a woman and have been offer to try on certain outfits. At the very least from under the door it looked as a woman trying on something as my toenails had nail polish on them along with nylons on, also had a bra on but no silicone inserts.

[Sara Jessica]

Stephanie, it's best to just dispense with the excuses. The SA's have seen it all and will likely see right through any story that is conjured up. Besides, when lying, we often give off unconscious signals and/or body language which can increase that creepy factor without our even being aware of it.

[rocketscientist]

Also, for the newbies, if you are in one of the "big box" stores they may have the self-scan checkouts! No interaction with cashiers required. That said, I do most of my shopping en drab. Most of the stores and thrift shops I go to VERY frequently must have figured it out by now! The people there just usually give a sly smile and often compliment on the items I am purchasing( "OMG! That is sooo cute") LOL. They never have just asked if what I am buying is for me and I haven't volunteered that information.If they did ask, I would probably tell them the truth. Hugs, Tonya

[IngeInCO]

I've just been going in and shopping lately. Haven't tried things on but no worries looking through the racks or check out

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I know there are those who have suggested to just shop en femme, but, I am a realist.

What does that "realist" mean. There are crossdressers who shop en femme all the time without problems. There are crossdressers who shop en drab without "silly excuses".

You're not being a realist at all...you're actively trying to NOT deal with the reality of being trans.

Veronica

[Lady Slipper]

Wow, Outhiking, I use all these techniques when shopping, whether for a dress or an alternator! Good advice all around!

[sissystephanie]

When you are out shopping, you are spending money. In todays economy that is all the SA's are concerned about, unless you are also a sholifter. The SA's don't really care if you are buying for yourself, or your SO. All they care about is how much you spend. Over the past 60+ years I have shopped either enfemme or in drab in probably more stores than most of you have seen. Just be in control of yourself, and buy what you want!!

[tifftg]

I consider myself a more comfortable shopping pro in drab and enfemme. When I am in drab I am always underdressed so that if I decide to try something on I can tell a little more easily how it will look and fit. Stay confident and you will be treated fine.

Shopping is so much fun when buying women's items, the selections and all the styles. Practice makes perfect.

[TxCassie]

And the most important for newbie shoppers en drab or en femme, BREATH! Relax, and BREATHE! The only one looking is your fear.

[abbie_lynn]

I always shop in guy mode (occasionally under-dressed). I find its more awkward than anything. I have a couple of tips too:

1) I tend not to care too much what random people think I'm doing, in general if a girl was buying guy clothes you wouldn't bat an eye so I fool myself with that logic. Panties, bras, and maybe makeup are a bit different, at the register I'm usually worried about some kid yelling "mommy, why's that man buying a bra?", I tend to wear nice guy clothes and be on my phone the whole time just coming off as preoccupied.. Combining the purchase with guy stuff helps too.

2) The chance of running into a co-worker or something is far worse than anything a worker at the store will say (to me at least). So for those who share that concern going to a store in the next town over (if feasible) is nice. Especially if you aren't sure what you want and are going to be browsing. It's a lot nicer to be able to relax and I think if you're not nervous-acting you're less likely to arouse unwanted attention.

I've yet to "open up" to a store associate.

[Terri]

I have shopped in Femme as well as in drab. I try to be honest, relaxed and friendly to the SA and have found them(without exception) to be friendly and helpful in return. As a matter of fact, they are often enthusiastic about helping.

[StevieTV]

Stephanie, it's best to just dispense with the excuses. The SA's have seen it all and will likely see right through any story that is conjured up. Besides, when lying, we often give off unconscious signals and/or body language which can increase that creepy factor without our even being aware of it.

I have to agree with Sara Jessica. Go in with confidence and know that you're there to purchase something. It's better to chat with the SA than to be abrupt. Smile and be polite as they meet so many jerks during the day. Yesterday I bought a gorgeous magenta scarf and the SA at the cash said to me it was beautiful and wished she saw it first. I replied "too bad, it's mine". She smiled and told me to enjoy it.

[Megan Briana]

I usually go shopping en drabbe. I always try to go to the young ladies on the register. They always give a knowing smile, BUT they also offer fashion tips, encouragement, and appear very please with seeing me there conversing back with them. I am not usually outgoing, in fact I am very shy. So, when I go out shopping I make sure Megan is right there to pick up the conversation when I start blushing. She hasn't let me down once. And I have gotten one or two phone numbers this way too

[wilt575]

I consider myself a more comfortable shopping pro in drab and enfemme. When I am in drab I am always underdressed so that if I decide to try something on I can tell a little more easily how it will look and fit. Stay confident and you will be treated fine.

Shopping is so much fun when buying women's items, the selections and all the styles. Practice makes perfect.

You are so right about the fun, for me drab is a little more of a challange, since I had implants awhile back, but not impossiable. Also try an shop stores with self check out, no cashier to eye(hold up for all to see) your purchases when scaning them.

[Jamie001]

Be proud of yourself and what you are purchasing even in the cashier holds the item up for everyone to see. You are not doing anything that is illegal. Women buy men's clothing everyday. We do we make such a big deal out of buying women's clothing? If anyone asks, just tell them that you are buying for yourself. Don't lie - you will only feel bad later...

[Melissa73]

i remember once, i was at target. I had selected a pink bikini w/ cherries on it. took it to the young female cashier. she smiled, and replies "I bet it'll look good on you!" I hesistaed and kinda nodded, but didnt say a word, as i was embarrassed. and paid the lady and walked out. But i can never ever forget it...

Michelle

[wilt575]

Be proud of yourself and what you are purchasing even in the cashier holds the item up for everyone to see. You are not doing anything that is illegal. Women buy men's clothing everyday. We do we make such a big deal out of buying women's clothing? If anyone asks, just tell them that you are buying for yourself. Don't lie - you will only feel bad later...

Did not mean hold up to show off, meant holding up to find scan tag to ring up.