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Thread: This is driving me insane...

  1. #1
    Junior Member CaraDawson's Avatar
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    Unhappy This is driving me insane...

    I'm so sick of mot having my own clothes anymore, I borrow my sister's(She knows and is OK with it) the few that fit anyways. When I was young and starting out, I was so embarrassed about being a CD sadly I would steal clothes from walmart instead of buying them cause I did not want to be seen. I realize now that if I had gotten caught it would have been 10 times as bad. Although I want my own clothes again so badly and with money so tight, I almost want to again. I wont cause it's wrong and shameful, but it is a bit tempting. Anyways the point is I want clothes again. I just don't know what I'm gonna do. I guess I need to vent.
    I can't lie to myself about who I am.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    First take your own advice and don't do ''it'' again! Garage sales and goodwill places come to mine!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  3. #3
    Silver Member DebbieL's Avatar
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    Being transgender can be "an expensive hobby" or a lifestyle. If you have to shop at the Galleria, it's going to be expensive. On the other hand, there are chains such as Rainbow that target low incomes and larger sizes. Many young girls, usually around 10-12, go nuts with fashion. They want every kind of clothing and often lack common sense. As they get older, start earning money as baby sitters, and have to save up to buy their own clothes, they tend to plan more carefully, and choose more wisely.

    Unless you have a sugar daddy or sugar mommy, you will need to earn your own income, manage your own money, and prioritize. You should budget about $50-$80 per month and reward yourself. Learn to cook, that can lower your expenses by as much as $500/month. Learn to make your own coffee. Look at where you are currently spending your money, and ask yourself "Do I want this short term treat? Or would I rather have a cute outfit?

    Shoplifting is a serious crime and if you are arrested and convicted, it can have devastating impacts on your future employment prospects, making it much harder to get employment in professions which would allow you more freedom.

    I don't know how old you are. It sounds like you might be a minor, in which case, you should probably be having a conversation with a trusted adult. A professional social worker, even the school social worker can help you determine whether you are a transvestite, transgender, or transsexual. They can help you communicate with your parents in a safe way, and they can help you get medical support if you need it. At minimum you can have the time to make an informed decision. You may also want to talk to a doctor.

    If I am right and you are a minor, then I don't want to give you too much information that may not be appropriate to you.

  4. #4
    Junior Member CaraDawson's Avatar
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    First off I will not steal again and that's that. I made my mind up on that years ago and any thoughts I have of doing it again sicken me. Second I am about to turn 23. I guess this tread was just and out bust of my stress, but A sugar daddy or momma would be kinda nice hehe. As far as my money issue goes I had a full time job and shared an apartment with some good friends, I wanted to go back to college and make more of my life. So I thought I had a nice part-time job lined up that fell through as soon as I quit my old job and moved in with my dad to limit my bills so I could focus on paying off my college. Now I'm a living with my dad andcan't find a job to save my life. if not for my dad I would have starved out on the streets by now. I'm not trying to wine about how bad I got it, but I'm not saying I like where I'm at either, just trying to vent and destress.

    Well I guess I just made myself think about it more...*pfft* Now I just want to go cry it out, but I can't do that, I can't afford to let my family see me like that. They don't desrve to have to deal with my problems along with their own. Sorry if I'm a bit too open, it's a bad habit of mine.
    Last edited by Eryn; 11-13-2012 at 02:18 AM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts. Please us the edit button rather than multi-posting
    I can't lie to myself about who I am.

  5. #5
    Life is for having fun. suzy1's Avatar
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    Your only 22 years old. Hang in there. Things have a way of working themselves out in the end.
    I know this advice sounds pathetic but life is like that.

    SUZY

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Noel Chimes's Avatar
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    First of all, keep your hands off the merchandise unless you are buying it. Second, it is only worth having if you work for it. Patience is the key word right now. You took a peek out of the closet and liked what you saw. Good. Just take your time. Now is not the time to be a kid in a candy shop.
    If the clothes make the man then the makeup makes the woman.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    This is a nice place to get advice, I don't say take advice from the internet but we all have a similar problem here that others do not understand.
    Stay with your father, it may suck for now but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
    Go back to school and get that part time job, it will come if you keep at it.
    All the best.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  8. #8
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    I don't know how tight your money is, but skirts and blouses go for $3 - $4 at thrift stores, at least around here.

    I have purchased perfectly good, brand new skirts and blouses for under $10 off the clearance racks of JC Pennys and Kohls. Walmart also has clearance racks. Payless has shoes for $16 up.

    You don't need a wardrobe of twenty or thirty blouses and skirts to dress, really one of each will do it.

    Concentrate on your schooling but learn something that you can make a good living doing once you graduate. Then you'll have the money you need.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    I remember way way way back when..... rationalizing in my mind that it was better to be a thief than a pervert... lol.... it took a long time to get past that too.......
    I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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  10. #10
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    You've heard the messages several times now. Be patient, finish school and get a part time job if you don't already have one. And when you can find $25 go to a thrift store with your sister and find a few basic things.

  11. #11
    Joanie sterling12's Avatar
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    If you actually shoplift at Walmart or wherever, it's not a matter of "if," but "when," you will be caught by Security! You don't want that. You don't want to be put in jail, trying to get someone from The Family to bail you out, you DON'T want the stigma of a felony record!

    We also know from long experience, that your still going to feel "The Compulsion" to obtain your own clothes. And, the impulse is just about impossible to ignore. So, what to do? Flipping The Fry Basket at Mickey D's sucks, but you do need a part time job, and a source of income. You can also stretch out a a pretty good wardrobe with very little money at all those Thrift Stores. Last thing, and we can probably tell you a thousand times, and you still won't hear the message, but those clerks just don't care! You are absolutely unimportant to them, except for the fact that they get paid to run that cash register.

    Yes, you might get an occasional rude comment from someone who is bored, or having a bad day. But, why do you care? It's a Stranger! In about 35 seconds, after you walk out the door, it won't matter to either one of you. Always remember that. Other people's opinions of ourselves are unimportant if WE know our own self-worth. You do that, they can't harm you, and Walmart and just about everywhere else loses their ability to have sway over your life.

    Peace and Love, Joanie
    Last edited by sterling12; 11-14-2012 at 07:23 PM.

  12. #12
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    Try some thrift stores. You can find a lot for little.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Annaliese's Avatar
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    It has already been said Goodwill and garage sales, I find most of my clothes at Sales at Big stores at the end of seasons, like now I will be shopping the end of Fall sales, last Spring I found sweaters at JC penny for $2 each shop wise and fill your closet.

  14. #14
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    99 percent of my clothes come from thrift stores, and i am so happy with the clothes that i find.
    This is a man's world, this is a man's world
    But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl
    —james brown

  15. #15
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    Great advice so far from everyone. Salvation Army, Goodwill and other thrift stores are great sources of clothes and shoes at very low prices. Hang in there. Focus on getting a job. Be confident. You will find one. You have the rest of your life to dress any way you want.

  16. #16
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    Life will get better. I've had many ups and downs. Get your education and find a job. If sister is willing borrow from her. Buy your own underwear. If your not going out in fem you can get bye.

  17. #17
    Junior Member CaraDawson's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for ranting about my little problems and being a whinny little b****, but I appreciate the advice and I thank you. Something I don't like and I'm a little upset about is even after I said "I wont" steal again twice and that I had made my mind up on that years ago people would talk like I was going to the next time I walked into a store. Now maybe that's not how it was meant, but that's how it reads to me. I'm not gonna allow myself to really get mad about it cause that just means more stress. All that truely was when it comes down to it, is I held to much stress inside and some of it had to come out sometime.
    So, I am sorry.
    Cara
    I can't lie to myself about who I am.

  18. #18
    Member carnut62's Avatar
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    Cara, I remember a few years ago goodwill had an awesome sale around christmas, anything with red or green was over half off.

  19. #19
    Junior Member CaraDawson's Avatar
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    Well money should get easyer soon So i'll go look ASAP.
    I can't lie to myself about who I am.

  20. #20
    Junior Member PattiAllison's Avatar
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    If your sister is ok with your dressing, maybe she has some clothes that she might not want any longer and would give them to you. And yes, there are many places to get clothes very cheap, just don't steal them, you might end up very sorry.

  21. #21
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    Please remember that the reason why folks are emphasizing the stealing part is it can destroy your future. If you think it is hard to find a job now (much less one that pays an actual livable wage one can survive on living alone), try finding one with a criminal conviction on your record. Things are really bad out there, not going to get better anytime soon (and if anything are going to get much worse), and employers will have no problem finding someone similarly qualified without any criminal convictions.

    Shop online. You can find some incredible deals, especially on ebay (know your measurements and shop by measurements not sizes.) It will also keep you out of stores and away from the temptation to steal again (I am surprised no one has mentioned this.)

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