Last night I was laying in my bed, completely dressed. I was having random thoughts about, if I died right then. What my family would do when they find what I was wearing, and all the bits and pieces of women's clothing they will find. Be it my leotards and tights, cheerleading uniforms, numerous bras, panties. Along with dresses, skirts, shorts, jeans, sweaters. And of course, breast forms.
While I remain in the closet, (meaning I haven't talked to anyone about it, nor has anyone mentioned it directly to me. But I do wear the women jeans and sweaters in public.) I think there are family members and others that know but it is a quiet little secret no one talks about. I know my neighbors do as I heard got caught and later heard a negative comment made.
The point I am getting to is whether they speculate or not. When they start going through all my stuff I can only imagine the extreme shock they would have as they find my women's stuff. I can only hear the conversation going something like "Was he gay? I can't believe all this stuff? How much money did he spend on that? Did you know about this? Did he want to be a girl?......?
Maybe someday I will sit down and talk with someone about my dressing. But at this time, I still don't have a lot of nerve to do it. It would completely free myself and I would have to literally "EDIT" myself just so I don't upset things. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to post something on Facebook about it, a picture, a comment about how nice something looks or feels, ect. But I have to stop myself.