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Thread: Wish I could make this happen.

  1. #1
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
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    Wish I could make this happen.

    Well it all started innocently enough with an e-mail Christmas party invite from one of my wife's friends.

    "Morning Ladies,

    I was thinking of having a few people over on Dec 1st. Its a busy time of the year though so I'm going to throw it out and see what happens. Let me know if you can come!"

    Me being the smart-ass replied;

    "Seeing as you started this off with "Morning Ladies", do I need to dress up in drag or is this a girls only thing, no spouses?"

    Her reply;

    "I emailed the ladies cause we basically tell you what do to anyways! So if 'A' says your going to my place then you just accept it! Lol!

    You are more than welcome to come in drag. Just watch those heels, they can be a little tricky for a first timer!"

    First timer, Ha!
    If she only knew I can run around in 5" heels no problem! I would love to do it, not perfect of course but not the guy in drag look either. I have a pair of nice 2" black heels, along flowing skirt, nice blouse, and an older wig. I could say I got the heels on the net after this exchange, clothes from the Goodwill and the wig from a party store. I couldn't use my forms but I could do the birdseed/pantyhose thing for breasts.

    I would so like to do this but I don't think the boss would go for it and I don't want to press my luck. I'm known as a bit of a joker amongst our friends so I don't think it would be too outta line for me to do this. I'm so dying to go out but I would only do it with my wife's approval. Stuck at home isn't that much fun anymore but she isn't interested in me exploring this side of me outside the confines of our house. She is scared to death about what and how people would do if they found out. Compromise in a relationship can be a bummer at times.
    I'll bring it up in a week or so and see where it goes. She might surprise me. Who knows?
    Trying to come to grips with this lovely thing called Crossdressing.

    Thankful there is a place to ask for help.

  2. #2
    Member Megan Briana's Avatar
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    I am not sure how I feel about this... I would be torn between wanting to go out, and being afraid of going out lol. I am also known as the jokester in my group, and could probably do it with the same reasoning you have. My fear comes when others see me enjoying it and being very comfortable with myself. My secret would practically tell itself to everyone. Hope you enjoy the party either way!
    If i knew then what i know now, i would have stolen my ex wife's clothes. I loved the way she dress

    Megan Briana

  3. #3
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
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    My problem is, as I get older. I'm getting to the point where I don't care anymore about what people think.

    The way I see it is if my friends can't accept this part of me then that is something I can't worry about. If they decided to cut me out because of it then I would miss them, be saddened by it but life is too short.....

    I wouldn't parade around but I'm getting tired of worrying about dressing up and someone stopping by. I've done this as long as I can remember and it is a part of me. I truly believe it makes me the person I am today, personality, attitude and the way I treat others that are different from the 'norm'. My family has a history of being a bit on the racist side of center towards people of color or homosexuals. Use to get into many arguments with my dad or grandad over it when the comments started with them, when they were alive. I have no time for it and if they had ever known about my cross-dressing I would have been lumped in there with the others. Anyone other than a white, straight, manly man was inferior. I am so far from that attitude it's not funny. I figure it's because of CDing that I am this way. I'm different in a way but "Normal" to everyone around me unless the knew and that would change their opinion of me. Why?? Still the same fun loving dude but I have a little thing I like to do once and a while. No different than a person of color or someone that is gay. Judge them for who they are and not how they look or what their sexual preference is.

    So if someone figures it out then great and the mood I'm in these days about it, I would probably own up to it. Then again that would be the wife's reason for me not doing it.

    I just want to be me.... whatever that is.
    Sorry about rambling on.
    Trying to come to grips with this lovely thing called Crossdressing.

    Thankful there is a place to ask for help.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
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    Once the Genie is out of the bottle, she cannot go back in. I think you know what your wife's answer is going to be. I am going to make the assumption the woman emailing the invitation was bantering back and forth. I'd leave it at that level.

  5. #5
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    I think its a good idea to talk more with your wife. I perfectly understand about your growing discontent with keeping this part of you confined to the house. And I understand her reservations at letting this side enter the outside world. Somehow, the two of you need to find a path that allows you to be yourself and protects her from the adverse consequences she fears, whatever they may be.

  6. #6
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    Talk with your wife. This is the perfect setting for a "joke" that you can build on with time!

  7. #7
    member stacycoral's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee Andrews View Post
    My problem is, as I get older. I'm getting to the point where I don't care anymore about what people think.
    The way I see it is if my friends can't accept this part of me then that is something I can't worry about. If they decided to cut me out because of it then I would miss them, be saddened by it but life is too short.....



    I just want to be me.... whatever that is.
    .
    Wow, i could say it better, but i still have two teenage girls in high school so doen't let me have the total freedom of going out in rural america, i would just say this me, if i did have family to worry about,
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]

  8. #8
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    I agree with Stephanie. Does the woman you were emailing already know you crossdress regularly? If not, I promise you she's just joking around and has no idea you're taking it literally. When your friends pick up on the fact that you're a little too good at the femme thing, it could end up being much more awkward than just being direct and coming out on your own.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    Pertinent to the original invitation, this is not the time to come out. This is the hostess' party and you do not have the clearance to mess it up. Sounds a bit harsh and I empathize with your feelings, but do consider the environment of the party and how you would appear. This is a Christmas party not a Halloween party. Maybe next October?

  10. #10
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
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    Since your wife knows, if she is not supportive of this step, then I think it would not be worth it. If you are hoping to get out of the house while dressed, then suggest a more CD friendly place if there is one around. Or a quiet stroll in a fairly deserted area. I would guess your wife is afraid of what others would say about her as well as you, and you need to consider your life partner's feelings. That is what marriage is about. But compromise is possible.

  11. #11
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee Andrews View Post
    My problem is, as I get older. I'm getting to the point where I don't care anymore about what people think.

    The way I see it is if my friends can't accept this part of me then that is something I can't worry about. If they decided to cut me out because of it then I would miss them, be saddened by it but life is too short.....
    I think it is time you make a decision. You see that being hidden all the time is making you unhappy so you have to decide if you are less important than everyone around you. Yes, life is short and I don't want to be there and think, "what I could have done." I want to go saying "that was a hell of a ride".
    My family has a history of being a bit on the racist side of center towards people of color or homosexuals.
    and this is another thing, change begins with "us". You cannot change your parents, but you can change the world. You would be surprised how just having a point of reference (you) can really show your family how illogical they are.

    In this case, no, don't go to the party dressed. It is not the proper venue to come out unless you just love drama. But it is time to consider slowly letting people into your world
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  12. #12
    Member AllyCDTV's Avatar
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    Going out for the first time with your wife to a restaurant or a bar is one thing. Going out for the first time with a group of her friends is another. Talk to her about it, but I would suggest starting this journey slowly. She might be more receptive to something more discrete and working your way up from there.

  13. #13
    Member bridgetta's Avatar
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    Yes. That sounds stressful, because its not the clothing but revealing to them how you feel about it. Playing it off as a joke is different than going as one of the girls. But i know what you mean about not caring anymore. Its probably wise to do whatever your wife is best with.

  14. #14
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    You're wishing! Several things wrong with you attending in fem. It is someone else's party, your wife's friends, and you are exanding on a joke. My wife outed me to her friends and for the most part they accepted me. After that I was accepted for shopping trips, vacations (several women and me), lunches and trips to craft shows. If I had shown up at a party it would never have been the same because I was on somone elses turf.

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suchacutie View Post
    Talk with your wife. This is the perfect setting for a "joke" that you can build on with time!
    If you don't do it think of it a a missed opportunity.
    Talk with your wife and if she OK's it dress sensibly and look like the lady you want to portray.
    If you are attractive, they will all be impressed.
    Remember at work it will still be a joke, so don't worry.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Diversity's Avatar
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    From your perspective it sounds like fun, but I don't think your wife will go for it, as she isn't interested in you exploring this outside the house. Let us know how it goes, but I'm betting you'll be in male mode for the Christmas party... I'll nevertheless wish you the best!
    Di

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member
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    Leave it alone.
    The woman you were texting was joking with you.
    Remember too, that even if you care less about what other people think, your actions can affect others, namely your wife.

  18. #18
    Breakin' social taboos TGMarla's Avatar
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    The trouble with a joke is that it wears off after 5 minutes. Then you're stuck at a dinner party dressed in drag for an hour and a half, and the joke is gone. No matter how nice it would be to wear a nice dinner dress and heels, for everyone else the novelty would be gone almost right away, and they'd be left wondering what the heck you were thinking.

    Any money found in the laundry is MINE!


    "This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"

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  19. #19
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee Andrews View Post
    My problem is, as I get older. I'm getting to the point where I don't care anymore about what people think.
    You mentioned your boss in the original post. You need to care about what your employer thinks if you need your job to support yourself and your family.

    Others have said it and I'll say it too - don't dress as a woman for the party.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  20. #20
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllyCDTV View Post
    Going out for the first time with your wife to a restaurant or a bar is one thing. Going out for the first time with a group of her friends is another. Talk to her about it, but I would suggest starting this journey slowly. She might be more receptive to something more discrete and working your way up from there.
    OK, straying off topic for a bit, but for a first time out, a walk in the park or through the shopping mall is a better choice. Something where you keep moving and are not stuck in one place.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I did not see that the boss is there originally I do have to change my view and say don't dress.
    Let the opportunity be missed for now. You can always do something nice with your wife at some other time.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  22. #22
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    This probably won't be the best time to dress, but if the idea stays in people's minds, there may be a more appropriate time where you could. Maybe a New Year's costume party or something for Mardi Gras, but probably not for something between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let your wife know how attracted to the opportunity you are, but how this isn't be best chance. I'm thinking something else will come up for you later.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  23. #23
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
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    It is a informal get together with our friends, my wife's friend that I have also known for as long as I can remember. Our group of friends generally have parties at each others houses all through the year, our specialty is backyard BBQ's because of the pool and entertainment system outside. So everyone ends up at our place in the nicer months. It may be a 'Christmas' party but it is mostly an excuse to get everyone together. You know, friends getting caught up on each others lives and gathering in the kitchen. Why is that by the way? The party always ends up in the kitchen.

    Yes I am wishing and dreaming about the whole thing. Can't see it happening. I would never go against my wife's wishes, I value "Us" way too much. Besides she lets me do almost anything within reason, around the house. Could be much worse, I could still be deep in the closet like so many others are. Who knows she might just say go for it. It wouldn't be the first time shes done that to me when I thought I knew the answer to a particular question. A girl can dream can't she?


    Quote Originally Posted by Beverley Sims View Post
    If you don't do it think of it a a missed opportunity.
    Talk with your wife and if she OK's it dress sensibly and look like the lady you want to portray.
    If you are attractive, they will all be impressed.
    Remember at work it will still be a joke, so don't worry.
    If I were attractive? Ha! Not even close. As with most, my profile pic is one of thousands taken. Out of a thousand maybe I have 10 that look pretty darn good. The rest not so much. Thank you for the laugh Bev. I am what I am and I get so jealous of some of our members that look so great on a regular basis.

    Quote Originally Posted by linda allen View Post
    You mentioned your boss in the original post. You need to care about what your employer thinks if you need your job to support yourself and your family.

    Others have said it and I'll say it too - don't dress as a woman for the party.
    Sorry for the word 'boss', I was referring to my wife. LOL

    Thank you everyone for the responses. Reading them brings into perspective how hard it is to communicate through this little white box on the desk. I for one have a hard time painting a clear picture with the written word.
    Trying to come to grips with this lovely thing called Crossdressing.

    Thankful there is a place to ask for help.

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