Girl's Night Out...please advise.

[MarcellaMcNul]

My S.O. (bless her heart!) wants to take me on a GNO to Manhattan soon. It will my second time out dressed and our first as a couple.

I feel pretty comfortable with NYC being safe enough to venture into while enfemme.

However....and here's where I asking for your advice/opinions...I know she really wants to include the Rockettes Show at Radio City Music Hall, plus, she found coupons for it on Living Social, but we're both having misgivings about being in a crowded venue where an innocent bystander and stranger will find him or herself seated next to a man dressed as a woman.

I'm thinking that it will most likely be a non-issue in this case but we would really appreciate hearing what you folks think!

Thanks; MiMi

[AllieSF]

From my experiences at theaters, museums, ballets in big crowds up close and personal, if you act like a lady, smile at them when they catch your eyes, and act like you belong there, you will have one very fantastic experience. One that I would like to enjoy too, since spending a long time in NYC to enjoy all that it has to offer is on my Bucket List. Only area that may be a bit nerve racking for you is when you need to use the Ladies' room. However, being with your SO is super and should get your through alive and well. Go for it and enjoy.

[Bree Wagner]

I agree with you and Allie that it'll probably be a non-issue. Unless you actively try to engage them the vast majority of people really seem to just go about their business in public. Having your SO along with you should make it pretty smooth even if you do end up with someone chatty next to you.

I bet you'll have a great time.

Good luck,
Bree

[NathalieX66]

Hi Marcella,
You've answered all your own questions. It is a non-issue. I've jumped on a train from New Jersey into Penn Station wearing a dress quite a few times.

In reality, NYC, especially Manhattan you will have no problems. in fact, you will be adored.

If you have any issues after your day/evening, please feel free to 'pm' me, We'll discuss. .

[Meghan]

That actually sounds like a pretty intense experience.

The absolute worst thing that could happen is someone will clock you and say something mean. In fact, I bet there is at least one CD at every Rocketts performance. I say go with it and enjoy not knowing for sure what is going to happen.

I have learned that there can be too much intensity, but not in this case. Your wife will keep you safe. Trust her and have a blast. You'll never have another experience like like it.

Meghan

[Eryn]

If the possibility of sitting next to a stranger bothers you, get an aisle seat.

My reality is that I've been to theaters and concerts a number of times, sat next to Muggles, and never had any issues. I'm a 6'2" gal too!

[DebbieL]

The Rockettes show should be OK, but either don't go to the restroom at all (don't drink and a light dinner), or go before the end of the act or after intermission is over. Don't wait in line with the other women, and don't use the men's. Do that and you should be fine.

You might want to go to Lucky Changs or Lips for a first night out together. This would be a safe venue in a safe area, with a sympathetic crowd.

[NathalieX66]

The Rockettes show should be OK, but either don't go to the restroom at all (don't drink and a light dinner), or go before the end of the act or after intermission is over. Don't wait in line with the other women, and don't use the men's. Do that and you should be fine.

You might want to go to Lucky Changs or Lips for a first night out together. This would be a safe venue in a safe area, with a sympathetic crowd.

Too scared you.

Trust me, I've been all around Manhattan as a woman, and I feel comfortable.

Please respond, or PM me if you have concerns. Want to tell me of your positive or negative experience?, fine do it.

Peace & love y'all.

[Persephone]

A theater or other venues where you are seated next to others is particularly scary as a first, or even second, time out dressed. Only you and your S.O. can decide how well you pass. Such venues are mostly difficult because they do cause worry and fear on your part, not because they are particularly dangerous.

And I'm not perfectly sure, but I think that in New York City, like in Los Angeles, you are a "protected species" with the right to be in such places guaranteed by law (Note: I am not a lawyer nor do I pretend to offer legal advice).

I was going to post the same advice as Debbie L. In your first few forays out, until you feel confident, it is wise to avoid the restroom until you are ready to leave somewhere. Restaurant or theater, go on the way out, not (if you can at all help it) on the way in or during the intermission. So drink lightly and if you go to dinner before the theater use the restaurant restroom just before you leave the restaurant.

One more suggestion -- don't wear your highest killer stilettoes to the theater. The aisles tilt downward on the way to your seat and unless you are really, really good in heels it is difficult to head down the aisle gracefully. (Of course, the reverse is true and they make it easy to walk back up the aisle).

Oh, and Eryn is giving you are real tip. An aisle seat lets your S.O. be a barrier between you and the muggles. My spouse and I have been to a lot of theaters and concerts with Eryn and her spouse and even with two of us ("Persephone's Rule" states that two CD's/TG's are four times as likely to be noticed) we've never even seen an extra glance.

Enjoy your GNO with your S.O. The times the two of you share are the best!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[DonniDarkness]

but we're both having misgivings about being in a crowded venue where an innocent bystander and stranger will find him or herself seated next to a man dressed as a woman.

Thats their problem not yours. You should be yourself, dress nice and use whatever damn bathroom you want.

Dont let other peoples problems keep you from enjoying something as innocent as going to the show. Have fun.

-Donni-

[MarcellaMcNul]

Wow! Thanks everyone for all the great responses and advice.

Re: the bathroom situation...it occurs to me that even though Radio City has been around since 1932 it might have a family/unisex type of restroom.

Regardless, this thread has put to rest any fears I may have had about my presence creating an emergency evacuation and call for the swat team.

I'm looking forward to having a fun day with a special lady.....um, two special ladies!

[Rachel Morley]

I agree with Ali and others .... I myself have been en femme in NYC (Manhattan) with my SO and I felt completely safe the whole time. The restroom issue at a theater is a bit of a "baptism of fire" the first time. I was in Sacramento at the time and I was waiting in a line "up close and personal" for what seemed like a long time with GGs of all ages all around me. My SO was with me too but I was sure I was going to get read and someone would take offense ... well, if I did get read, they didn't indicate it to me, and no one seemed to take offense. It was scary but actually it was quite a wonderful and liberating experience being "in the lioness's den"

[Rachel M]

I agree with all the others. I really believe the choice of venue and the people that frequent it will determine how people act. People are out on their own agendas to see a show. Im sure they could care less the lady next to them might be a man.

[ReineD]

One last thing to think about is the time you will see the show. My ex and I brought our kids to see the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular years ago. There were lots of kids there, but this was during the afternoon. Kids don't hold back as well as adults, and although an inquisitive "Mom, is that a man?" would likely cause an embarrassed parent to shush the child, you may prefer an evening show if you think you may be bothered by this.

[audreyinalbany]

Once again, Reine tops all with her insight and wisdom...I think in addition to children's oft times lack of discretion, there may be parents who feel threatened by the presence of a gender non-comformist around their kids.

[Beverley Sims]

Going out to see a theater show dressed in the afternoon could be better than a night time show if you are worried about being busted.
As for the rest room issue I have gone into the ladies room many times dressed in drab.
I have had wonderful interaction with ladies at the wash basins putting on makeup. I have even assisted them in zipping up dresses and on a GNO they are really feral.
A man in the ladies room, they love it. I have had some wonderful interactive times in the ladies room when crowded.
Forget their little jibes and poking of fun, just do what you have to do.

Yes I got on with the job, changing light bulbs, fixing taps, unblocking sinks etc.
Much more fun than the mens room.

You guessed it I work in the theater game and the last thing for the evening is check the rest rooms.
I have been lucky, no dead bodies like others I know but you get the odd inebriated customer asleep in one of the stalls.

[Jana]

Like everyone else here, I also don't think you'll run into trouble. Aside from a few stares here and there you'll probably be fine! So, just go out and enjoy yourselves!!

[Cindy J Angel]

Hay i went to go u will have more fun then u thank u will go for all of ti lv cindy

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

At least you know the Rockettes themselves won't mind:

[Eryn]

Kids don't hold back as well as adults, and although an inquisitive "Mom, is that a man?" would likely cause an embarrassed parent to shush the child....

If you confidence level permits an appropriate response to that parent is to say "It's OK, people say that now and then!"

Remember, nobody is ever certain about your gender. There are a lot of mannish-looking women out there that don't give "passing" any thought at all. Follow their lead, exhibit confidence in yourself you will have a wonderful evening.

[ReineD]

If you confidence level permits an appropriate response to that parent is to say "It's OK, people say that now and then!"

Remember, nobody is ever certain about your gender. There are a lot of mannish-looking women out there that don't give "passing" any thought at all. Follow their lead, exhibit confidence in yourself you will have a wonderful evening.

This is true, but no matter how confident, some MtFs still have male gender cues that are unmistakable. The range of passing/blending is very wide since everyone has different body types, sizes, physiognomies. At the same time, I only have ever seen one or two people whose birth gender I truly questioned. My SO and I were at a local outdoor concert last summer and she actually pointed out this person to me, asking if I thought the person was male or female. I couldn't tell. Everyone was wearing jeans and Tshirts, so the clothes did not give off any clues either.

All that to say that I don't think it matters much in terms of public acceptance, since in our day and age I think that most parents would likely be more concerned about their children embarrassing the trans person with their comments than anything else. My SO hates to go to family friendly restaurants for his very reason. She knows that kids stare and if young enough, they don't restrain their very loud questions if they have any.