I have a very understanding wife that loves to shop with me and help with clothing sizes. She has never been into makeup, so I am figuring it out for myself( and educating her, also). I had a support group I used to attend ( I posted about it) but now it's this site for my talking and venting about all things fem to me.
I have a supportive wife and shopping buddy. No group or counselor (other than this forum) - i am considering going to a counselor
My wife though she would rather I didn't. A therapist for a few sessions and this forum. I do wonder about a support group.
Obviously I do most of my talking on here.
My wife is supportive but I don't want to drive her nuts either. I have a good online GG friend that supports and encourages me too. My TS support group is too far away to see anybody in person so it's online contacts too. I live in a transphobic city where no MTF will dare venture out. I wish I lived in a more progressive place like California.
Thanks to everyone who has responded! I guess I should answer my own question:
My wife knows and tries to be supportive, but she doesn't like it, and frankly, she can't even look at me when I'm dressed up. The last time I asked her what she thought of an outfit I was wearing, she said, "I don't care." I'm sure she ment she didn't care that I was dressed up, but it really came across as she didn't care what I was wearing because I was just a man in a skirt. Sigh... she and I still need to work on opening up our lines of communication on this issue.
No GG or CD freind - my wife would be horrified if I went out in public, and she would NOT understand me spending time with anyone else while enfemme - trust issues (long story, and all my fault).
Support group? Hello! - North Dakota! The closest I've found is in the Twin Cities, and that's 6 hours away. Just too far. (If anyone knows better, PLEASE let me know!)
Therapy? Sorry, but I don't think anything is wrong with me; and I have a total abhorrence of sharing my private life with a stranger - no matter how well educated or how much I'm paying him/her.
Mina Lost aka Lynda
My wife is mostly supportive of my under dressing...doesnt understand why I would want to wear things that women normally don't want to wear or find uncomfortable. She's ok with what's not right in her face so to speak.
No GG friends that know or could be Megan with or at least that's what I think.
I recently met two great girls here in Utah from this site. Great people...
Looking forward to learning more about local support group and participating.
Last time I was meeting with a counselor she mentioned "you have a unique way of looking at things and have a better understanding and acceptance of yourself than most people do" the counseling was very helpful to bridge the communication gap between my wife and I. Problem is its been several years and now it's difficult again to have those conversations with the wife. Tried this past weekend and I put the words and feelings out there and it turned into a dead conversation. Anyway...
I need more people to be able to interact and talk with. Who can ever have enough friends!?
All alone and only just join here.
Never spoken to anyone about it and I am not aware that anyone knows.
Told my wife after we were married for 14 or so years. That loss of trust has been a hurdle ever since. She stayed with me, knows I occasionally dress, bought me a few things years ago, but now we are in a don't talk about it mode.
No friends, family, or coworkers have "admitted" they know. I haven't told anyone. (I gotta believe someone, somewhere suspects or saw me in a store, although I tend to shop pretty far from home.)
I have no other confidant. I've met a number of very kind sales associates over the years with real knack for customer service.
I've been to 4 different therapists over the years. Mostly for a less than 10 visits. They conclude I'm a nice gentle guy with a calling to cross dress. (shocking, I know) I have no SRS desires (gender identity concerns: their term), and should stop beating myself up over it. (I am trying) I've finally opened up more to my current counselor and she's been a good sounding board. Although I know I'm paying for her to be, it has been nice to actually relate directly to a person for the first time in my 53 years! We are talking about building a support group in the NW Chicago suburbs. There should be enough CD's around if we can find the right logistics.
I talk to a therapist, but he's not much help in my opinion. More of a how was your week? How does that make you feel? How are you going to deal with that? Have a good week. Wish I could talk to my wife, but no!
When I'm me--which I think of ask being en femme--I am always, always alone. I have a brother and a sister who know, and I talk with them about how this demon taunts me, and I'm working with a counselor who knows my story and is helping me take great steps forward in processing this load. But when I am me, I am always alone.
The biggest help to me is a postop woman from this site that I am in contact with every day. She supports me, helps me and gives me a cyberslap when I need it. I've had some bad days and she always makes me smile.She's the perfect online friend.
I will talk with anyone who will listen! Okay, not quite that bad. My wife is extremely accepting. My two daughters are too and just last night I went to the movies with my oldest daughter, then she went to babysit the kids while my son-in-law came and we watched another show. I have many friends around the area, a couple of them mean a lot to me, and am fully involved in a Tri-Ess group and randomly show up at a couple of other groups. One of my best friends taught me make-up and I visit her in either presentation.
I believe there are times you just have to have a therapist. I believe there are other times you just need to be able to bend someone's ear. I am blessed with the people I have in my life and so far haven't needed therapy. My friend's ears may be getting a little out of shape at this point though.
I have a very supportive SO but she is not all that Gung Ho about going into public places with me so I'm solo on that.
I have a support group that I try to visit once a month
I'm trying to make friends from my support group etc so maybe one day I can go out dressed with someone during the day but making friends outside the group can be hard. Its also very awkward to explain to my wife that I would like to have 1 or 2 CD friends just like my other guy friends and do things with them from time to time during the day or whatever.
And theres this site!
I have a GF who is married and she helps me sometimes but her husband doesn't like her associating with me. I feel quite lonely and would like to find a support group around Phoenix if anyone knows of one.
My Mother knows about my feminine side, but I do not feel comfortable talking to her about it. In honesty, I do not feel 'comfortable' talking about my feminine side at all. I have thought about joining support groups, but I do not know how I will react. I guess I have spent so much time in denial/self-loathing that I am not sure how to take people any more. If anyone ahs any advice on how to get over myself and all that, I would greatly appreciate it.
Makaila,
Reading your words I have to say I feel better just knowing I'm not alone. I encourage you to read the postings and chat with others on this site. I am happy to chat if you would like. I am feeling so much more comfortable about embracing my feminine side and learning from others on this site I just want to cry. I hope this helps you too!
Originally Posted by Makaila
Sexy Sissy Sandi
I have a Cd friend I get together with occasionally and a small handful of people I met at a local bar that I hang with and visit with.
In my case:
1. Supportive SO? Nope. Just very recently told my wife after years of denial then hiding. Needless to say she's not thrilled about the idea. I know, my fault for not talking about this earlier in life.
2. Shopping buddy? Nope. I shop on my own in drab.
3. Support group? Have not looked for one
4. Counselor? Have looked for one but never visited. Not sure what he/she would say that I don't already know.
5. All alone? Aside from this site, yes I am.
I have a shopping buddy,,, she has been a god send and a great help, unfortunately no SO at this time, but than again with nursing school I have no life anyway.
Also alone but that is an emotive word that suggests unhappy. Not so, happy to experience life on the outside by myself. Interaction comes from those I meet on my outings.
This site is important to me but more about learning, supporting and sharing experiences than about friendships.
I'm alone and SOOO glad I found this site. Hoping one day I could have a friend in the same situation that can totally relate without fears of judgement.
No. DADT here.
The best thing I ever did in CD'ing was to get the courage to visit a makeup shop for help. The owner is super-supportive and has become a good friend. She has helped me in so many ways, and was the first person I was ever able to "be myself" around.Do you have a “girlfriend (in the non-sexual context),” GG or another CD, that helps paint your toe nails and goes shopping with you?
I also became friends with a married couple who are both members here. They have been great to hang around with, go out to dinner or lunch, etc. Can't say how much of a difference it makes to meet in person with friends who know about my CD'ing
I've been to one several times. It's nice to visit, but I'm more interested in being out in public doing everyday things.Do you belong to a support group that meets on a regular schedule?
There you got me, I'm married, and we talk, but I do all my own thing, I've always figured I'm the one that is a CD, not her, she never asked me to help with her makeup, and I don't ask for help with mine, I have as much if not more practice at it as she does. As for clothes, are styles are compleatly different.
Last edited by Tina B.; 11-24-2012 at 10:04 AM.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
Invite you to City of Lakes Crossgender Community http://www.clccmn.org/ meetings Silmaril, see the upcoming events page. Everyone is unique and should be judged by who they are, not how they look or how they present themselves. The group is informal and after meetings quite a few stay and socialize with each other.
Janet
yes!
my wife knows and definitely has the tatse in clothes, makeup, jewelry lol. Came out to my daughters....joke was on me they both cane out right back at me both are gay and love shopping with me.
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