[SIZE="2"]“Over here Holmes – I’m in the bog!” (Dr. Watson in The Scarlet Claw)
I see there’s a thread authored by someone who is either fed up with crossdressing, or disillusioned with the fractious nature of the site, or the community, or the inexplicable nature of crossdressing and its peripheral concerns. How convenient. At a time like this, which exists only for me but is nonetheless real (a Procol Harum lyric, BTW), I tend to wonder about what the point of this particular discussion forum is – are we not here to DISCUSS crossdressing, and thus extend open arms (or open minds) to those in need, or is this place just a convenient platform for declaring agendas via endless rants? As I say, I spend (waste) a lot of time wondering about this...
Being a crossdresser, MtF variety, I came to this site to discuss crossdressing. The word “discuss” has many definitions, most of them obsolete (yet insightful), but, to my way of thinking, true discussion involves consideration of the pros and cons of a subject, in this case crossdressing. If you crossdress, you certainly have something to discus with other crossdressers, mainly because the subject itself is taboo in “normal” or conformist society. In other words, crossdressing is not a subject to bring up in mixed company, no matter how liberal or enlightened that company may be. That’s unfortunate, and that’s why a “place” for crossdressers is important. Crossdressing can be seen as a deviant human characteristic, albeit historic in nature and somewhat inevitable, even though nobody, including the crossdressers, can fully understand it...
I crossdress. I identify as a male yet wear women’s clothing a percentage of the time; therefore I qualify to discuss crossdressing. I have no agenda, except to point out that what I do is a benign exercise in human expression, no big whoop, and it is definitely interesting and fun. Simple, isn’t it? I came here to meet other individuals who like to crossdress, people who are relieved to finally be able to talk (write) about their passion, however confusing it may be at times, and perhaps feel better about being who they are, or who they want to be. This happens, I’m pleased to say. The “pros” of CD’ing may include tactile pleasures, or the thrill of going somewhere dressed, or the feeling of blessed apartness one gets whilst crossdressed. I can relate to that. The “cons” of crossdressing may involve the social and familial problems one may encounter by insisting on continued (or more visible) crossdressing, i.e. bumping up against the non-crossdressing world at large, or crippling self-doubt, or a lack of appreciation for the need to crossdress. I can relate less to that, but I still listen (I mean read)...
There is plenty to discuss, for crossdressing is a genuinely discursive subject. Discuss used to mean shake off, put away, or dissolve – those who purge or otherwise turn away from CD’ing may be actively discussing their crossdressing in this manner. Discuss also used to mean to declare, or explain. Those who rant fit the former, while I “fit” into the latter category – to me, there’s no end to the explanation, or the attempted explanation, that crossdressing spawns out of necessity or curiosity. Many times I see this site as an opportunity to explore meanings, and a place has been (conveniently) provided to report one’s findings. Discuss also can mean “to eat or drink with enjoyment,” and I discuss my crossdressing in this manner on a daily basis. With this in mind, why come to this place, this discussion forum, this foggy bog, to discuss crossdressing? Wouldn’t it be more fun to just crossdress?
I often wonder why I’m here at all, trying, with all futility, to climb up a slippery slope I never wanted to conquer in the first place. Discussing crossdressing can be a very joyless exercise, my friends. On this site I have “met” a lot of controvertists, that is to say people who try to dispute my very existence as a MtF crossdresser, simply because it doesn’t “jibe” with their ideas. I perceive an argument against crossdressing, even though being a crossdresser is, in my way of thinking, not a controvertible subject. I represent the majority of MtF crossdressers, but, to some, I’m not doing it “right.” I get confused when someone from another part of the CD spectrum tries to dispute a highly personal thing like one’s crossdressing. This is sowing discord is a place where concord should be an irrefutable part of the community. We are very much apart from society at this point in time, a community of outsiders that cannot seem to agree with each other. In short, this place can be more like a platform for grievances, and less like a forum for discussion, even though making such a statement sounds like a rant! Sorry. I would just prefer to discuss the vagaries, circumstances, and mysteries of crossdressing, without being assailed by certain communal precepts. At the end of the day, I have fun crossdressing, period. Surely that’s OK, isn't it?
I can understand why some individuals join the site, only to leave after dipping one’s toe in the chilly water of crossdressing discussion. Frankly, I’m not sure why I’m still here – perhaps I’m bolstered by those who have a “problem” with run-of-the-mill MtF crossdressers like myself, so I feel I must provide a voice for people like me. A lot of crossdressers crossdress (bless them) and never write about it, while others take it upon themselves to exclude the less serious individuals via the written word and steer the proceedings towards a direction that they insist upon. I can feel it all around me, and it feels like isolation within a place that should be more welcoming. I’m a member of several forums like this one, but this is the only discussion forum where I actually participate – the subject itself is infinitely fascinating, and the NEED to crossdress never goes away. I crave true discussion, but I can do without the arguments and discord. Of course, the instant you write and submit something you’re actually painting a target on your “self.” Is this fair?
To reiterate, what is the point of crossdressers.com, and what is the point of all this discussion? Are we here to encourage crossdressing, in all of its myriad forms, or are we trying to figure out how to deal with it, or how to incorporate it into society, or how to ultimately detach ourselves from this most natural of human urges, namely to become ONE with ourselves? If the undeclared mission of this place is to provide a mirror for the community, can’t it be used to reflect some LIGHT on occasion?
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I think a lot of us, myself included, need this sense of connection that we get from sharing with others this side of our lives. I enjoy supporting others endevors to explore and discuss the ins and outs of being a CD...it is hard sometimes to peek out of the closet, stand up straight and accept who we are without the kindness and advice of those that have already stepped out. Being a CD can be a very lonely thing, as we all have felt in our hearts.
Originally Posted by suzy1
What is the POINT of crossdressers.com?
