Peeking"Out"

[vikki2020]

As the confidence grows, and my desire with it, the idea of letting people know where I'm headed grows too. I have started to dip my toe in the proverbial waters, so to speak. Still a "part time girl" for now, but, the goal is to start to move towards full time. Kind of difficult to start the conversation--as no one that really knows me has any clue. I've been visiting locations, when fully "dressed", that I frequent in my usual day to day routines. These are people that know me, but just as a customer, or, sometimes work related dealings. So, I have presented myself as female, and the reaction has been very positive. So far,so good, and I treat this as kind of "practice", for later. These are places near my house also, so, the chance of running into someone that I do know is there. I guess that is one way to start the conversation! I am prepared for that, should it happen--and I guess I kind of want that to happen--I don't know! I would love to hear if anyone else has tried this approach, or, your thought's on it.
vikki

[kimdl93]

I started out much the same way...first just a minute outside to move the sprinkler. It kinda took off from there.

[abigailf]

You don't owe anybody an explanation. Be who you need to be and if you get spotted then it is your choice to say something about it or not.

"OMG! {insert boy name here} is that you?"
"Who else would it be?"
"WTF! What are you wearing?"
"Clothes, I thought I might get arrested if I went out naked."
"Seriously? Why are you dressed like that?"
"I just felt like wearing this outfit today. Hey, what did you think about the Lakers game..."

Okay, so it is not likely to go like that by really, you don't owe anyone an explanation. You can choose to explain or not or come out or not. It's your life you are in control. Just know that if someone doesn't like the way you dress, they may not want to be associated with you anymore.

If you head down the road of transition, be prepared to lose everything.

[Rogina B]

I try to live as gender fluid as possible,so I am out and about at some of the same places in either mode. However,like Abigail said,you don't owe them an explanation and tell them where you may be headed is "way too much information". Like me,"just keep em guessing and give em something to talk about"

[vikki2020]

Not really about explaining things as much as a way to "come out" as a transgendered girl. These are places I show up regularly in guy mode--and I purposely went in as a woman, to kind of "announce" the real me. I would actually welcome the conversation, but, so far the reaction has been almost non-existent. They acknowledge that it's me, but, everything is very cool! I'm just wondering what you think about this tactic, and has anyone else had good experiences with it.

[mikiSJ]

...first just a minute outside to move the sprinkler.

Kim

I hope you turned the sprinkler off or your first "exposure" may have been as contestant in a wet tee shirt!

[outhiking]

If you have trees in the backyard or a fence, you could try hanging out some laundry or having a glass of tea. I've also toned down the top half, but still going out in a skirt is a wonderful feeling.

[abigailf]

Not really about explaining things as much as a way to "come out" as a transgendered girl. These are places I show up regularly in guy mode--and I purposely went in as a woman, to kind of "announce" the real me. I would actually welcome the conversation, but, so far the reaction has been almost non-existent. They acknowledge that it's me, but, everything is very cool! I'm just wondering what you think about this tactic, and has anyone else had good experiences with it.

It is a very passive tactic and one that probably will not work out like you expect it. Some people wont even notice what you are wearing. They see your face, recognize it and ignore everything else. If you want people to know then you are going to have to tell them flat out. Even if they notice how you are dressed they will likely not say anything to you or ask you about it as they do not know how to start such a conversation.

I held a July 4th party looking as feminine as ever and only one person made a comment about it. Some folks already knew but everyone else didn't question anything.

[ReineD]

Not really about explaining things as much as a way to "come out" as a transgendered girl. These are places I show up regularly in guy mode--and I purposely went in as a woman, to kind of "announce" the real me. I would actually welcome the conversation, but, so far the reaction has been almost non-existent. They acknowledge that it's me, but, everything is very cool! I'm just wondering what you think about this tactic, and has anyone else had good experiences with it.

How do you hope to be seen? Does it matter to you if they take it that you are a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing? Or would you prefer they see you as a woman?

How do you see yourself?

[kellykellykelly]

Good luck with your progress. Remember that Rome was not built in a day.
Be careful and enjoy.

[vikki2020]

Thank you all for the input! Yes, I do want to be seen as a woman. But, I don't care how they "take it"--just want to gauge the reaction, I guess! It is a bit passive--but, I am "peeking", lol! You are right,Abigail, I don't think they even "see" you! Actually, one place I went in,--a Walgreens that I shop in 3-5 times a week, I walked in with a woman that knows me from work related functions--and knows me well. She never knew I was there! ( she was yakking on the phone ,though) Another place I tried was the post office--which I deal with daily. The woman clerk there recognized me immediately, and gave me a big wave, and smile. We did chat about it after the fact, and she was so positive,in her conversation! So, yeah-- just a way for me to move to the next step, kind of like 'Batting practice". Need to get my swing right, before I see the 90MPH fastball!!!

oh, by the way--when I went in these places, I wasn't wearing a wig-my hair is getting pretty long now--and I was wearing my everyday glasses. I usually wear contacts,when I'm out dressed. So, I pretty much left it no doubt, that it was me!

[ReineD]

Thank you all for the input! Yes, I do want to be seen as a woman.

Are you thinking about transition? Is it your goal to live full time and have a legal name change? Also are you taking hormones under a doctor's care?

In my experience, people who deal with the public (SAs, restaurant wait staff, post office employees, cashiers, etc) are trained to be polite and pleasant to everyone. They want your business. So no one will be rude to you, if they've known you as a man and then you begin to show up dressed. But, I'm afraid they won't start thinking you are a woman just because you are wearing forms and a dress, or even if you just have makeup on and long hair ... especially if you are not making significant changes to your appearance through HRT and/or FFS. I don't mean to be cruel, just repeating what I've read here countless times from transitioning transsexuals.

The real test of transition is to be yourself with people who are not paid to provide you with a service: your family, friends, employer, coworkers, customers, neighbors, in short, everyone that you interact with in your day-to-day life. Some will reject you, some will accept, and I understand that it can take many years for some of the people who have known you as a male, to begin to think of you as your target gender.

If, on the other hand, you are looking for acceptance as a transgendered individual (a male who wishes to present as a female), then you are pretty well on target, but again, I would test the waters with other people than those who are paid to provide you with a service.

If you are considering transition, have you discussed this with your employer?

[ArleneRaquel]

Besr wishes hon, I hope that your future is one filled with happiness & love. Hugs !

[Inna]

this is the significant step and reading your words I can tell that you are already on the other side. We hold on to the image at hand for as long as we possibly can, knowing at least subconsciously, that transition will take everything we got and we are fearful, confused and just plain scared!

But the time arrives, time of reckoning, where we can no longer hold the gates of truth, shut! And then we allow the flood waters of such truth to start seeping in slowly. Just like with any flood, slowly becomes quite violent and unstoppable, sooner or later.
Good luck with you new life, it will be an adventure of a life time I assure you. Just hold on to one thing to survive it, TRUTH!

[vikki2020]

Thanks again for the advice. Reine, Inna, you are both on target with your assessments! Yeah, I am scared! I feel I've come pretty far lately, and have got to the edge of a cliff. Going back is unacceptable, and the next step will be one I can't retreat from. So, I just stand in this spot for a little while, peering over, to see where I can land!
I have tested the waters with others-- a guy who works in the same building as me. We sometimes have to work together--on building matters. He has seen me twice now, and seems unfazed by it. Love that! In fact, I was out, and saw him at a different building one day (he is an engineer), and decided to say hello. So, there we are in the parking lot, discussing work stuff,and I'm in a skirt and heels---! And, it didn't matter! So, my immediate goal is to just be able to be who I am, and dress how I want, that day. Eventually, living as a woman full time, with or without medical enhancements, or SRS. Hormones are something I'm seriously considering to start though. I plan on starting that chapter on my next Dr. visit. I do appreciate the advise,and wisdom on this site! It is a BIG help