Do you have an ally?

[Chriscrossed]

Does anyone have an ally and would you say they are different from friends? I read a post by Helen Boyd on enGender where she makes a passing reference to "being an ally". This was not the topic of the article but it lead me to think that an ally of a crossdresser might find it easier to offer rational support without getting too close and drawn in to providing support on an emotional level. A ally might not even have to be comfortable with crossdressing but still accept and support it.

... and then there are confidants but maybe that is another topic. Any thoughts?

[noeleena]

Hi,

Well the woman i was married to for 35 years is the only one i would say is more that just an ally & still is ,& will be ,
we are not married because we had our marrage annuld still thats not a issue, & as to others i would say yes though you may say they are friends for me they are more than just friends,

there are many i can talk with & have done they are the ones i can trust, most are women of cause because what we talk about really concerns women, as to men i dont think so, not in the way we women do, men well those i know & that means most i wont talk about issues that are ours . i mean its just, many men have no idear any way & why would they , part of our difference,

...noeleena...

[Beverley Sims]

Ally, confidante, best friend whatever.
I think they are all very similar and you would ask help of them and also confide in them.
Who else do you trust.

[Kelley]

I think an ally is quite different from a confidant and best friend. A ally my help you when you need a place to dress or maybe help you hide stuff from your wife. Not someone your going to confide in. Where as a confidant and best friend would be there for you in time of trouble and someone you would regularly hangout with

I don't have an ally but I do have a best friend (even better) that would go the extra mile for me and never question why.

[rachael.davis]

As I recall the joke
A good friend will be at central booking at 3AM on a Wednesday morning with bail money for you.
A real friend will be sitting next to you in central booking at 2:30 AM on a Wednesday morning saying "Well I guess we're out of the closet now, but what a great time when you ...."

[Kate Simmons]

My ally is the TG "Force" and a powerful ally it is indeed.

[JohnnieCD]

i only wish i had an ally to go on an outing with, makeup help or a shoulder to cry on when I am losing my mind

[Leslie Langford]

As I recall the joke
A good friend will be at central booking at 3AM on a Wednesday morning with bail money for you.
A real friend will be sitting next to you in central booking at 2:30 AM on a Wednesday morning saying "Well I guess we're out of the closet now, but what a great time when you ...."

Well, the version I've always liked is: "A friend helps you move; a real friend helps you move a body..." .

[kimdl93]

well, I'm not sure where to classify my supportive friends based on this nomenclature. My wife is certainly an ally and confidante. One of my best lady friends(and a former co worker) probably falls into the ally category quite well too.

[dallasmann]

I have 4 girlfriends and I LOVE them.

[Chriscrossed]

well, I'm not sure where to classify my supportive friends based on this nomenclature. My wife is certainly an ally and confidante. One of my best lady friends(and a former co worker) probably falls into the ally category quite well too.

I think there might be some advantages in differentiating an ally from a friend.

For the sake of argument I will define an ally as an acquaintance you don't expect any emotional support from, only acceptance. I would expect them to agree in principal with your freedom of choice. In social situations I would also expect a good ally to at stand up for your fashion choices in principal (even if you appear odd to them). Having a few more of these people around could not hurt, it might even open up new benefits. I propose we expand our social networks to include ally's; acquaintances (not friends) with whom we can openly discuss cross dressing.

Good idea, or a pipe dream?

[Jill]

It seems like I am always looking for a partner in crime, an accomplice. For some reason, ever since I started telling people about my CDing, it seems to almost doom the friendship. It seems like every time I have told a friend or gained an ally, that person and I split ways. Never on bad terms, they just seem to grow distant and disappear. Even though I understand that life is like that, people come and go constantly, but it does seem odd.

Having an ally outside of a friend seems like something that would be pretty difficult to establish. Today I'm actually hoping to gain an ally with a cousin of mine, I am meeting her for coffee today, I've barely seen her in the last few years but I think she would be a good accomplice as she's quite liberal.