I am concerned that some think I'm an imposter.

[WIFE GG/SO]

I read in another thread that someone thinks I'm an imposter. I promise you, I am not. I'm a 50 something, overweight, worried wife of a CD'er. I am plagued by fears that this CD'ing will accelerate. I came here to see what I could do to be a more accepting wife and what I could do to understand this better.

Part of me feels like I have failed as a woman also, that he needs this outlet.

BUT, I don't want to be where I am not wanted. Why someone would pretend to be a wife of a CD'er is beyond me. It's not like you can't read the posts anyway without participating.

Anyway, I'm sorry that I came to you all looking for help. There must be other CD sites that are more accepting of us "outsiders".

Di

[JohnnieCD]

hopefully you have learned from the wealth of information here that no one blames their wife for them wanting to crossdress!

[ClosetED]

Di, please don't. As many have said, you will get varied opinions here. I think the issues you have brought up and the posts that followed are very valuable. Don't let one person's fears force you to do what you feel is the right thing. That is wrong on so many levels!

[linda allen]

Don't leave because of what one or two people have posted. Internet forums bring out the "jerk" in some people. They act like they wouldn't dare to in person. Stick around, there are some pretty caring people here.

[JohnnieCD]

Don't leave because of what one or two people have posted. Internet forums bring out the "jerk" in some people. They act like they wouldn't dare to in person. Stick around, there are some pretty caring people here.

I'll go back in closet...i haven't any friends and if you speak your mind you are called a jerk..

[Barbra P]

Leaving is your choice but prior to this thread you started three threads and received well over one-hundred responses, the vast majority of them friendly and supportive. Every forum, and I mean every last forum regardless of the subject matter, has its 10%. The ten-percent is a Marine Corps term, it means that in any group of people there are approximately 10% who just can’t seem to get with the program, and seem intent on alienating or ruining things for the other 90%. For years I was pretty heavily into photography and my forum of choice always had a few members always eager to stir up trouble, argue about trivial choice of words, accuse new members of being Trolls if they didn’t like their initial posts; this site is no different. Many forums allow you to ignore posts from individual members, as far as I know there is no way to do that on this forum, and that may actually be for the good. I’ve been unhappy, possibly even offended, by someone’s reply and had I selected to ignore that person altogether I would have later missed postings that completely changed my mind about them.
My point is, don’t let one post persuade you, ignore that post and concentrate on all the others here that are willing to help you. Also keep in mind that forums are very different from talking with a group of people face-to-face and with no facial-expressions or body-language it all too easy to misinterpret what someone posts. I’m not saying this particular offending post was humorous or sarcastic but those are two emotions that can be very difficult to convey in a post and someone reading the post may completely miss the humor and take offense.

[WIFE GG/SO]

Thank you for the kindness you all have shown me. I got some very nice private messages also. I do appreciate it. I guess I will stick around, because I do have so much to learn.

Thank you again...all of you...for your support.

Di

[biggirlsarah]

Dear wife , I personally hope you find the help and understanding that you deserve, nobody asks to be a cd'r the same as nobody asks to be male of female or gay or straight it just happens that way , personally I think it helps define who I am and I wouldn't change it for a minute. in every walk of life you get the nice people the bad people the jerk's , the think they know it all's who normally turn out to be know nothing at all's, there are a lot of caring supportive people on this forum , you just have to spend a little time and sift out the not so genuine and get to the genuine people who care , they are there and you will find them , good luck in the future with your relationship , love and hugs Sarah xxx

[Pexetta]

Many forums allow you to ignore posts from individual members, as far as I know there is no way to do that on this forum

Click on their name, click View Profile, click Add to Ignore List.

[Barbara Ella]

Di. This is just a great example of the diversity of individuals we have here. I do really believe they are all sincerely honest individuals and just speak their mind. I know I am not the most tactful person, and continually edit what I say because I know it usually comes out poorly between my mind and the paper the first time. And on this site, who is really the imposter? I continually worry someone will figure out I am really a woman who dresses as a man to crossdress as a woman just to be here and chat with the wonderful girls here. I guess I am doomed.

Barbara

[MsRenee]

Dont let one person determine you leaving . There is more good here than you can know . we all grow off of each others knowledge here. There is no way on this planet thats its your fault about him wanting to dress and you have not failed him. Shes very lucky to have you there wanting to learn more. Please stick around hun as we can all help each other. If someones givin you issues just report them. They have thier own issues if there saying that to you.
Hugs
Renee

[Karren H]

That is a shame....... I've left here a number of times because of what people said..... or did..... but I realized that they were idiots and I really don't give a rats ass what they said.... Take what anyone says here with a grain of salt..... at best you can learn something or teach something..... at worst.... its cheap entertainment!

[Laura912]

Would strongly encourage you to stay. It is human nature that we can get thousands of compliments, but one negative will send us off into a downward spiral. Also, realize that there are those here that are so guarded that they look askance at everything.

[kendra_gurl]

If this is considered a cross post and against the rules mods my delete it.

I think its revelant to this threat as they are related

Wife below is what I have posted in the other thread about what you have made this thread for. Just thought everyone envolved should see it




Wife if you check you introduction thread you will see I was the very first to respond with a welcome. While your very first thread sounded a little suspicious at first you did answer the question about why after 20 years of knowing you are just now seeking answers. I even posted there with some advice.

One thing you will come to learn on this or any other sight is that the longer your here the easier it is to obtain the "thick skin" it takes to survive.

My OP was not in any way to single you or anyone else out but rather as the title says "think about it" just a caution to everyone here the possibility exist with the anonimity of the internet not to totally trust everyone untill your able to guage a reasonable opinion of them by reading varying responces they have made.

Glad to see you have decided to stick around with us for awhile longer

[kimdl93]

Dear Di,

there are a lot of people here - and its entirely possible that some may have mistaken opinions. I would not let that deter you. Please consider joining the FAB and and participate in the loved ones forum. This is an open forum. Please don't judge everyone by the behavior of a few.

Please also try to let go of that "failed woman" thing. I can speak for most CDrs. This is something about us - it isn't any reflection on our wives in any respect. I was literally born this way. You didn't cause this and your husband didn't "choose" to be a CD. We were, for what ever reason, chosen by fate. Undertanding this is difficult, but its a reality that all of us, CDrs and our spouses and significant others eventually have to accept.

Best wishes - Please stay!

[Amy Fakley]

I hope you don't let one or two opinionated nut-jobs run you off the site. This has been an incredibly warm and welcoming group of people in my experience.
As far as being an "imposter" ... this accusation completely blows my mind.

This site is completely full of people who live a double life .. and for the vast majority of us half of that double life is hidden better than Iraq's nukes.
How in the blue hell anyone on this site could accuse you of being an "imposter" with a straight face ... ROFL. So what if you are? 99% of us are too in one way or another.

Stick around. We've got one or two a-holes ... but on the whole this community is so warm, accepting, informative ... and rewarding to be a part of :-)

[Launa]

Don't go so fast. Remember we are in cyber space, not in a room speaking openly to one another. Comments can be blurted out and a lot of us here are paraniod too....

I have also said things in the past that weren't cool.

I guarantee that you have not failed as a woman.

There are other sites out there. I was a member of them and even though they accepted men in the forum there was just non stop bitching going on. I would try to ask a question so I could get a perspective from them on what my wife was going through with me and would get 1 word answers at best. I was sympathetic to what they were going through but dialoge was unproductive

[JohnnieCD]

i know I am an imposter, i've been living a double life for 45 years and always thought something was wrong with me...thanks for the confirmation..

[Lady Catherine]

If you are learning what you need to learn, or getting ANY useful information, stay with us and keep learning. If a few people here can't handle it, that's their problem. Be strong and keep learning.

[Meg East]

It is your choice but consider your posts have generated many great thoughtful replies.

[docrobbysherry]

Impostor? Me maybe, but not u, Di. Glad you're staying and not letting "THEM" win! Thot u had too much character to let that to happen!

[Stephanie47]

I went back and reread the posts you started. I will agree with Meg. Even if you were an imposter (troll to some) you do raise very serious issues most, if not all men, have thought over the years. In your words I have heard the same thoughts my wife has had over our forty plus years of marriage.

I'm sure there are numerous postings on this site that are total bullshit. In my professional career and personal life I've run across many people who feel the necessity to tell total falsehoods or accentuate their otherwise totally bland and boring lives.

Hang in there! I'd say there are a lot of worthy responses from many people.

And, at another post, maybe that negligee should wait until Valentine's Day after you and he sort out some boundaries.

It is your choice but consider your posts have generated many great thoughtful replies.

[Ceri Anne]

Please don't leave, with a site like this there will always be the chance of someone not accepting, but that doesn't speak for the rest of us. I saw your post about getting your hubby a night gown for Christmas and fell in love. I wish my wife would respond that way. I know its very challenging when something like this appears in a relationship, but as someone else said, It has nothing to do with you being a good wife, its his inner need to express other aspects of his personality. There are couples here that have embraced CD, others have not. But look at it this way.........you now have a husband for a best friend AND a best girlfriend all in one!

[Lorileah]

Ignore the naysayers. Hang around you will soon see who is positive and who has sand in their panties. I know who you are referring to and I don't usually agree with them either. As I mentioned in a different thread, we should welcome those who want to learn from us, not try and dissuade them.

[Jenny Gurl]

I can't say much more than has already been said. I will add that this web site is THE best discussion forum for the topic. There are many here who will help you gain an understanding of the many variations of crossdressers. Even if you shop around for another site, make sure you keep this one bookmarked because most come back to it. Welcome, I hope you find the answers you are seeking.