First interactions out dressed?

[Nichola]

I've only been out once & never came directly into contact with anyone, but I am thinking of giving it another whirl.
So I was wondering for those of you who've been out, how did your first interactions with other people go, was it nerve racking, natural or just fun & did it boost or dent your confidence?

[Staci G]

Boosted, dented, good, and bad. I remember it to be nerve racking but exhilarating. I was so proud that I did it yet afraid I made a fool of myself. Yeah it was fan-damn-tastic. I think it makes ur want to do it again and again. Now I can't wait until I can again.

[MsRenee]

My first time out girl I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. was so paranoid about getting pulled over. My first interaction was at a local Tg bar to met a friend. That kinda help break the ice of being in public the first time.
Renee

[Ressie]

Went to a TG get together at a gay bar. Interaction was mostly with other CDs and it was wonderful. The nerve racking part was walking into the bar early and only a few men were there. But still no worries since it was a gay bar right? That's my only time out dressed so far.

[Bree Wagner]

I remember it to be nerve racking but exhilarating. I was so proud that I did it yet afraid I made a fool of myself. Yeah it was fan-damn-tastic.

Yep, this describes it perfectly. And all that was was checking out with a cashier!

[biggirlsarah]

I think my first time out , was to a beaumont society meet and it was in the evening and I drove , yes I was nervous but once I was on my way felt really good , I kept thinking I am not breaking any laws , I have the right to do what I am doing , when I got to the meeting I was welcomed by everyone it was a really good starting point , I have developed greatly since then , but that was about 15 years ago.
If you can dont stay in the closet it is awfully dark in there , come out into the light and be who you want to be , love and hugs Sarah xxx

[ChelseaErtel]

I was on a business trip in October and decided to be en femme the full three weeks. I took great pains to get clothing that blended in for the time of day as well as use appropriate makeup.

So, I went out. I went shopping, asked where I could try on a few tops and skirt and was directed to the ladies changing area. Asked for the restroom and directed to the ladies. Was called ma'am, and miss. Had the door opened for me several times and one older gentleman seem to follow me all over the store. He'd just be there and say hello. He was there to open the door when I entered and exited the store. It was so cute. Each step built confidence until I just didn't worry about it. I go out all the time now, to the DR, shopping,.....

Been to coffee houses and worked on my laptop, dinner, bought lingerie, and did sight seeing.

No comments, no looks - that I heard or saw. Everyone was pleasant as one would expect. I even went to a makeup counter for some new looks and the SA said I was pretty. They will do anything for a sale.

Which brings me to a point. For a first outing, go shopping. Sales establishments are there to sell - they don't give a damn about your gender, sexual persuasions, or species (they'd sell to an elephant if they had money). Great place to go. If you are going to try something on, just play ignorant and find a SA and ask where you can try on the clothes. I would bet 99 out of 100, and probably 100 our of 100 if your avatar is accurate, they'd direct you to the ladies.

When I went in to my first ladies changing area there were several GG's there. They didn't give me a second glance, just ignored me or said hello.

If you dress to blend in, you will be fine. And if they do make you, the most wonderful thing will probably happen - nothing.

Read some threads on voice training, that is the usual give away. No so much pitch but how you speak and pronounce words. I go slightly higher but talk differently. It takes practice but well worth it. If you look the part, then the voice is not a big deal if feminine enough. There are a lot of husky women out there.

Good luck and have fun.

[JenniferUK]

My first time was to the gay village in Manchester with my SO. We got an 'evening girls' from a guy. We're going out tonight to our social groups Christmas dinner. Can't wait. If you're dressed appropriate to the place then there won't be any problems, if you go to asda dressed as a streetwalker then I suspect problems would arise.

Hugs

Jen

[Kate Simmons]

There are never any guarantees one way or the other. Just go out and do it and enjoy being yourself Hon. It's your life really.

[Cristi]

I've been going out in public for over a decade now, but still remember the first times clearly.

For me, the nervousness and stress got highest just as I was about to step out of the car into the parking lot of a store. I almost didn't get past that point. But as soon as I did, things got easier. I was still nervous and self-conscious walking in the parking lot in plain view of all the other shoppers, but for some reason it faded pretty quickly.

For some reason, once I got in the store and realized that nobody was pointing at me and laughing.... I got a LOT more comfortable. For the record, I've been going out for over 10 years now (several times per year at least) and not ONCE have I gotten a reaction worse than a long lingering gaze and once *gasp* a 'stern look' from an older woman.

To this day, I still have a very brief moment of nerves in the moment before I step out of the car, but now it is so minor I don't even really pay attention to it.

[Jenniferathome]

My first time for interaction with the public was with two great people from this forum: Allie and Rachel. We had drinks at my downtown hotel, walked to a nearby restaurant for dinner and closed the night at a wine bar. I didn't feel nervous at all once we were going. The worst part was the elevator ride to the lobby of the hotel. It was a great experience. Go with a friend if you can.

[Ceri Anne]

My first time out girl I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. was so paranoid about getting pulled over. My first interaction was at a local Tg bar to met a friend. That kinda help break the ice of being in public the first time.
Renee

Very simular emotionally, but it went very well, and I ended up going out every night that week. It was such a boost and turn on, yet still was frightening exploring new teritory

[GondorRachel]

My first interaction was a coming out party that I invited 6 of my closest friends (3 of which are T* one is an SO) to meet Rachel. It was hella nerve-wracking, but as the night went on, I forgot that I was wearing a dress in front of people, and was just hanging out with friends watching movies and eating Chinese food. That doesn't make later interactions much less nerve wracking, but some. A month or so ago, right as I was escalating my coming out to include certain acquaintances, I went to a book club meeting en femme (in costume, costumes were encouraged as it was just after halloween, but nobody else bothered >.<) and everybody was either already aware of the situation or just mildly confused and then just didn't seem to care. By the end of the night, I was just me, in women's clothes (I had skipped makeup as I was in a hurry that day and I had ditched the cheap costume wig; I forgot to bring my nice wig along when I packed a change of women's clothes)... I am going to be going en femme to this group again later today, still more people to "freak out"!

[bridget thronton]

First time was scary - but nothing happened and i was treated politely.

[Vanessa5]

My first place out was to my fav thrift store. I enjoyed it tremendously. SA told me I looked beautiful (I did think she read me). Did wonders for my confidence.

[rachaelsloane]

My first time for interaction with the public was with two great people from this forum: Allie and Rachel. We had drinks at my downtown hotel, walked to a nearby restaurant for dinner and closed the night at a wine bar. I didn't feel nervous at all once we were going. The worst part was the elevator ride to the lobby of the hotel. It was a great experience. Go with a friend if you can.

Thanks Jennifer for the compliment when we went out.
Nichola,
Jen is right, try to go with a friend as it does help although my first experience was alone. Once I decided that I was going to take the first step out the door, it was to go to the annual Sacramento River City Gems "Sparkle". I also volunteered to be a greeter at the front door figuring it would help with the interaction, which it did. I drove up, checked into the hotel, only to find out that my room was not in the main building but one of the separate outer outer ones, which meant that I had to walk across the parking lot to get to the ballroom. After getting dressed and somewhat terrified, I walked out of the room and walked across. After a few minutes there, I forgot all about how nervous I had been and even forgot I was there wearing a dress, but in fact having a great time.
That was a year ago and have many experiences like the one Jennifer mentioned and today I have two I'm going to. The first is to a wine tasting luncheon with a GG I met while out with Allie at restaurant in Oakland's Jack London Square in jeans and a sweater and later to the Diablo Valley Girls annual Fall Dinner in a nice dress, etc.
From all the pictures you have posted (I hate you for how good you always look), you do have the nicely dressed aspect down so it's just it's just a matter of taking that first step.
Rachael

[Beverley Sims]

The first time I went out and interacted with others... It was fan b****y tastic.

[sarahgrant]

First time outside in a skirt was terrifying. Only managed short walk to end of road.

Second time just as bad but went to a shop. Noone except me seemed to care.

Now just get on with it. Haven't met any hostility. People may have doubts but its brilliant just walking around and being treated as a normal woman. Ladies toilets are still a challenge but getting more natural.

Its all down to confidence. If you look as though you belong you'll be fine. Just practice talking to as many people as you can.

[~Joanne~]

My first interaction went very well but I was at a CD friendly shop to begin with so I don't know if that counts or not. It was the first time I was fully enfemme and out shopping I know my mannerisms said female but my voice, while not terribly deep to begin with, said male as i didn't even try to disguise it. Saw no need too. Overall I was treated very well and had a blast

[Cheryl T]

Mine was nerve wracking. I kept waiting for all the negative comments and ridicule and it never came. When I had to interact with someone it was usually with a female and I waited for the axe to fall...it didn't. The worst thing was that I wanted so badly to be there and felt that I looked so horrible that I didn't belong there. Of course now I know it was all in my head and since I've been going out for about 8 years now it's just fun. I no longer dread having to speak to someone and I don't even think about something bad happening. I'm aware of my situation of course, but in the general scheme of things it's simply fun being who I am and going out.

[RenneB]

Girl.. you are way to good at the presentation to stay inside.... Nice complexion, narrow nose, nice figure, great makeup application, fashion scence.... yea, you've got to get out.

The biggest hurdle is the nerves. Myself being out and about for some time now, I remember the first baby steps and then a few more and then contact with humans...first a drive through, then the mall, then the checkout.... Take it all in a stide that you are comfortable with... and then get moving...

The first few trips will seem to last forever as time seems to stand still with the adreneline pumping.... after a while the butterflies will leave and it'll just be a nice looking young girl out doing errands and whatnot....

Renne......

[gina_edwards]

the first time i went out was to a shopping mall i was nervous as hell but as time went on it was ok and walked out full of confidence now i have no problems at all plus it helps that i dont care what ppl think its my life

[Eryn]

Every interaction brings with it a little more confidence for the next interaction. That confidence improves your presentation which makes the next interaction more likely to be pleasant for both of you. After a while you can concentrate on the reason for the interaction, not just the idea of "passing."

[Nikki A.]

My first times out were to CD weekends at a club near me. Therefore there were others like me and it was good. There was a lesbian wedding I attended with some friends and this was my first time out in public and daylight. I was very nervous before the people there (both gay and straight) were very accepting (well most were) and helped me feel at ease and be myself. The non accepting person was the loner.
My watershed moment was walking into an IHOP on a Saturday morning all dressed and ready for a day of shopping in Denver. I almost chickened out but my friend gave me the courage (also I didn't want to ruin her breakfast) to go in. After that I figured that I can do anything or go anywhere that I want and haven't looked back since.

[ArleneRaquel]

My first interaction out dressed was over forty years ago, whatever it was I'm sure that I was shaking in my boots. I believe it was getting on a late night bus, after midnight, but I'm not sure if that was the first, or just one of the firsts.