I notice in the picture gallery, a lot of the comments are "sexy" and a lot of the photos are what I would consider sexy (especially some of the photos of younger members). For me, the 'sexy' boat sailed a long time ago. And now I go out as a pretty homely fifty-something woman. Maybe this is somewhat akin to the 'passing' vs 'blending' discussion, but I wonder how many here really strive for a sexy appearance.
I've noticed that as well Hon but in all reality, 95% of being sexy is not about appearance.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
yes, it is what I am going for. Blending? nu uh...
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Well, I would say that I personally strive for a look that I hope I can pull off successfully when out and also happens to be a look I like to see GG's use. So, I am not necessarily age appropriate, at least not as my goal, and am what I consider "looking sharp, good and sometimes a tiny bit edgy". However, if I know that we will end up in an appropriate venue sometime during the evening, then yes, I will try for a sexier look for me, which normally means a shorter skirt, tighter top, shear black nylons and heels (if we are not walking too far!). I am definitely not ready to settle back and watch others and the fun life pass me by.
[SIZE="4"]Naturally I want to project the well dressed and classy look of a mature woman. Overt sexuality would be totally out of place for me. Sexy for me is always hinted at and understated.[/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
Those comments are kind of funny, because it is so severely contrasted to the compliments that I would use to describe my female companions.
But, in general, I think a lot of people like to feel "sexy." I don't use "sexy" so much as a casual compliment...but, I do tell my SO that he is sexy, and it makes him feel good. It makes me feel good when he tells me that I am sexy. And, I think it's funny when my best girlfriends make cat calls or yell "sexy mama" when I may be particularly dressed up for an occasion...but, it might be a little funny to hear it from a casual friend...the compliment would be appreciated, but it would still be kind of funny.
I've had a few friends though that do not like to have attention called to their appearance...they'd probably be very embarrassed if anyone called them sexy. But, in general, it's pretty obvious who is going for "overtly sexy" and may be fishing for compliments that point out what look they may be going for...and, people that are a little more low-key look like they might appreciate compliments that are just more objective (like, "I like your hair in that style"..."That dress looks really awesome on you...I really like the color....where did you get it?"). And, in general, I feel like my compliments usually tend towards the objective side. I know when my friends compliment me, I want to know WHAT they like. It's not like, "OMG...Shannon...you are so sexy"...If I heard that, I might think, "Okay...what makes me sexy? Am I sexy in general? Am I particularly sexy right now? What makes me sexy right now?" And, I think my friends must tend towards wanting the same information, so it's usually a compliment like, "Guurl, you clean up nice!...Look at you with your hair all done up and your wrap-dress on!" From that...I might conclude that my friend liked my wrap-dress and my hair styled in that particular way. Telling me that I look sexy isn't at all helpful. Objective is helpful. And, objective is usually pretty good if you don't want to embarrass the shy, or you are complimenting someone that you don't know well. I might tell my best friend she looks sexy...there's usually more hollering going on if it's a special night (like my friend was trying to look intentionally sexy for her boyfriend's birthday). So, it's probably the "sexy look" that I am going for....but, I am probably subconsciously going for the "sexy" look more often than I think that I am...so, when I get a random compliment about my "naughty librarian glasses," I start to think that my glasses might not actually be as heinous as I thought. But, if someone were to just tell me I look sexy, I'm not sure what I would think...other than that person has randomly deemed me sexually appealing for some random reason. Or, if I were intentionally trying to be sexy (big date, etc.)...I'd probably expect my best friends to harass me a little bit to build up my confidence. It's a weird system...but, there's a system.
Last edited by Shananigans; 12-03-2012 at 04:48 PM.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Wouldn't be much point for me in crossdressing if I didn't go for a sexy look.
"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think." - The Buddha
Yes for me it is about trying to look sexxy, i try new things and differnt make up, someday i hope to be able to pass and go out dressed and look smokin hot!!! LOL
When I'm going to the club I usually am trying for a sexy look of some kind. When I go other places during the day I am trying for classy and maybe a little special. I do wear jeans and casual clothes but I don't think I have to dress to be invisible. I still always want to look nice so I'll dress it up with a special top or some pretty jewelry.
Sally
Is sexy a goal? Not for me!
Like Shananigans said, I prefer more objective and direct feedback - whether compliments or criticism. It's just more useful to me that way.
I guess the question to me is, sexy for and to whom?
Kathi
Sexy is very much in the eye/mind of the beholder. I am way beyond sexy time, so that doesn't even enter the conversations i go through with myself. I can understand the comments, even when the poster does not overtly try to be sexy. Some do, and that is fine, that is what some women do, why shouldn't you. More power to those who can.
Barbara
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
[SIZE="2"]No, sexy is not a goal when I dress. I dress conservatively – the skirts are not too short, the fake breasts are not out to HERE, the heels are either low or non-existent, and the makeup is within acceptable (and respectable) limits. The only person I’m trying to please is ME, and I us all of my skills to avoid a “sexy” presentation – it helps me to suppress my inherent (male) sexual urges…Originally Posted by audreyinalbany
[/SIZE]
Nah! Sherry doesn't dress know how to dress any other way than "sexy". I won't stand for it! So, it's not a goal, it's just how it is!
However, when I'm out in vanilla land, I dress to blend. "Sexy" never enters my mind on those occasions!
Shana, I've dressed in some of the most bizarre, outrages, and even downrite obscene outfits, (or LACK of), at a few private CD events. While I've gotten various "compliments" no one has EVER said I looked "sexy". And, I've never heard a CD refer to another CD as sexy. So, there may not be much different between men and women on the use of THAT word!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Sexy is fun, but when I put on makeup. I try to look like the casual girl and dress as such
I would have to agree with you.
I just try for a kind of "girl next door" look, usually others will project what they think about my look, even if it is something I didn't intend.
Carrie, I think I need more girls next door then!
I don't go for a sexy look. I try and dress nice and appropriate for where I am going. The sexy I am attuned to is in the person in the way they act and the way they interact. So when I dress, I either have it or I don't, but it isn't because of the outfit I put on, it is because of who I am.
Ally, I'm with you. I've been doing this for a long time and even when I was very young the sexual component was present. Crossdressing does not me happy; i'm happy with no clothes on at all. Crossdressing lets me feel sexy in a way nothing else does. Whether anyone else thinks I'm sexy or not, when I see me in the mirror I see a sexy gal. Otherwise, I wouldn't waste my time.
Sexy's OK - but I mostly want to look pretty and presentable, so I go for more conservative.
- Phoebe Brenne
Enh, whatever.
I want to enjoy being a woman from a woman's perspective without any aspect of maleness....male libido included. Why? I don't know. It's more than curiosity for me.
In most cases I don't dress to look sexy. I wouldn't know what to do with a man if I attracted one, and i don't want to have that particular adventure!
Now, if I am going out to a CDing event, I might dress a bit edgier than I do when I dress for the mainstream. It's fun to rock the higher hemlines and heels but not in the mainstream where they would look odd on a fiftysomething.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
In most cases I don't dress to look sexy. I wouldn't know what to do with a man if I attracted one, and i don't want to have that particular adventure!
Now, if I am going out to a CDing event, I might dress a bit edgier than I do when I dress for the mainstream. It's fun to rock the higher hemlines and heels but not in the mainstream where they would look odd on a fiftysomething.
That's because we all see ourselves as Ferarris and Lamborghinis.
Personally, I like the latest Jaguar sedan....Cadillacs too!
well i like womens clothe and just want them to fit , i find women in workout gear sexxy and evening gowns to so it all depends on what u describe sexxy as , u dont have to be glammed up to be sexxy
I think the response of "sexy" is both complimentary and safe to use on this site. Perhaps it is overstated.
I dress for me - and usually part of the enjoyment is my belief that I am sexy and attrtactive - to me. Maybe I need an eye exam, too.
I'm a blender. (Wait, what?) I mean, my goal is to blend in rather than to stand out as sexy. Of course, I were younger, curvier, and prettier, who knows, maybe being sexy would be its own way of blending. But as it is, I'm just the soccer mom next door
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