Scared

[max]

So I went to the mall today with the plan of going to one of the women's clothing stores there and getting one of the women working there to help me put an outfit together.

So I go to the mall and browse through Charlotte Russe, DEB, Maurice's, etc...
But when the ladies come up to ask me I tell them I'm just looking :/

I went by body central and managed to ask them what sizes they carried so there's that.

But my plan was to go back to DEB and get the lady there who was really friendly to help me put something together.

Thing is all the changing rooms are on the back wall of the store and they have those doors that are missing like the top and bottom foot-and-a-half.

So there was that feeling like I'd be a dude
trying on women's clothing
in the middle of the store

I mean I've tried things on in drab at goodwill or tjmaxx or jc penny but this feels like a whole new level.

I ended up doing a couple laps around the mall and going home.

I guess maybe I should drive out to the next city over, say **** it, and dive in.

[Kelli Ca]

dont let it get you down for most of us its baby steps, for example today you were at the mall tomorrow youll be in the store then the next step is try something. or you could buy it take it home if it doesnt fit take it back. either way i think your in good shape just keep your head up

[Karren H]

On the positive side..... you got some good exercise!

[Veronnie2]

Max....We all have been there darlin, baby steps to the big leap, then shopping enfemme....You will relax more, the more you do it. Veronnie2

[JenniferR771]

It is the busiest week of the year. Try an early morning on a rainy Tuesday in February. And yes it will be hard to hide your feet and hairy legs if the fitting room door has a big gap. But take a look at the post about consignment shops...prices only slightly above Goodwill--and usually you get friendly personal advice in picking out matching outfits and suitable accessories. I called one this morning--she was nice--and welcomed me or any CD to stop by. She said they had a few pair of heels in size 10 and lots of black dresses--both short and long. She explained how a formal event requires a tiny formal purse, just room for a lipstick and a credit card, LOL!

Takes time to build up the nerve. You will do it next time, for sure.

[cdtraveler]

I can feel your pain been there so often your post made me laugh.. Done those laps many times both in and out of the mall!

[LaraPeterson]

Max, it IS a lot easier to do if you are away from home. If you have an opportunity to do your shopping in another town, it will be way easier to handle the nerves. They are going to be there anyway. And from my experience, they never go away.

[mikiSJ]

I went out last week with the intent of buying some tights. Went into the local Nordies as they have a good reputation for helping anyone showing up with money. I was in drab, but I made it obvious the tights were for me.

The first SA I met was obviously a seasonal temp and she asked another SA to help me out. The tights (Spanx) I wanted weren't on the shelf so the SA had to go back to the storeroom. She came out with the two pairs, rang the sale up and was feeling good about the purchase...until I heard the little giggles as I walked out.

Oh, well! Nordies is still a great place and if this is the worst thing that ever happens to me in drab or en femme, that is just fine!

[Diversity]

Hi Max,
It will all come in time, if you continue to challenge yourself and don't give up. Choose the steps you feel you are comfortable to take, then take one step at a time. Enjoy the journey - your own individual journey! Good luck!
Di

[MissVictoria]

I would concur that it is infinitely easier to go out of town the first few times. Secondly, your money is just as green and just as valuable as anyone else's and if you don't like the attitude of who you are dealing with, either leave or find the manager. They really do care. I would also agree that these next few weeks are a bit rough if you are trying to go to the mall for the first time. Thirdly, and probably most importantly, the stores you are considering, while suitable for your age range, are in my opinion, crap. If you are looking for a good salesperson and decent quality clothing, visit a Dress Barn, or if you don't have a DB in the mall, go to Ann Taylor Loft, or Express or something along those lines. The quality of the clothing is better, which in turn, leads to a better associate to sell the better clothing, thus leaving you with a better overall shopping experience. My experience with DEB, and Charlotte Russe and Delia's, etc, is that the 17-20 year old SA there is useful to get a pair of shoes from the back, or to ring you up and not much else. The clothing is also of such a poor quality. I understand the appeal of these stores to the teenage crowd working a min wage job and getting stuff for school and the weekend, but it won't last you. I know that DB has an antiquated feel to it, but they really have gotten much younger in their styling, and the quality is significantly better. Even JCP will put a Charlotte Russe to shame. My little diatribe is over, but, please stick to it. It will get easier, and before you know it, you will be traipsing around the mall in your highest heels, not caring what anyone else thinks or says. I can vouch for that!!

[LaraPeterson]

Kim, was that you I saw at the mall the other day? Really, she's exactly right. I like Penny's myself 'cause they have become more brand conscious and don't have the overhead of some of the other stores. Also, if you are just trying to get started, just about every online retailer now has great return and exchange policies that make price and turn around really good.

[Rogina B]

I agree as well in that you have to "know" your stores AND sizes!! Not sure what size you are but the cheap places have "undersized" clothes. In a real store like a Macy's,etc,a womans 14 is a 16 at other stores and at a Charlotte Russe,a large isn't even a real 14,more like a 12..If it doesn't have give,probably isn't worth it. Dress Barn,Avenue,etc if you are normal size... You have to learn that first after all "You don't go looking for gold at the blacksmith's"

[docrobbysherry]

I'm just NOT comfortable shopping for clothes in those big mall stores, Max. I hate their prices, atmosphere, and don't feel comfortable trying on things in their dressing cubicals.

So, other than boots, shoes, gloves, etc., I rarely or never shop in them!

[DanaR]

I used to call before going to different stores to get a feel for if they would help a guy find girl clothes for him. Usually, if they are okay with that they might tell you when a good would be to come in and who to see. I like this approach, because it give you an idea what you might expect and who might be there to help you. If you go in, you will soon find out if they are really going to be helpful or whether you should go somewhere else. There are stores out there that will be helpful and treat you well. If you are real nervous and act scared, you will transmit those vibes to whoever you interacting with.

[becky77]

It's never easy, I have had the help from my wife and still feel awkward. On my own I really struggle, sometimes the desperation pushes you to it. But I would imagine most of us have been through that stage or still suffer from it.
Feels great when you do go through with it

[Beverley Sims]

Once you have looked a few times the surroundings become less intimidating.
You gain confidence and courage.
Wear a dress and a whole new feeling overcomes you and you have then "ARRIVED"

[kimdl93]

Your mind was getting ahead of itself. Just remember that no one is really all that interested in looking at legs showing unser dressing doors.

[xdressed]

I'm exactly the same which is really out of character for me. This time of year just has constant crowds and often the prices can get pushed up too so it's not the best time to go shopping for yourself anyway