For those of you who have children, at what age did you stop CDing around them? If you ever started (or ever stopped). I have the next couple days off and will be watching my 15 month old son, and am curious to know everyone's experiences with this.
Thanks.
I wouldn't do it at all around a child that age, but it's your call.Originally Posted by julie08
This has always been a difficult question to answer and there have been some very different views put out by members here.
I have my own feelings on this based on what I have seen myself.
It seems fine to dress in front of pre-school age children. They don’t bat an eyelid over that or anything. They have nothing to compare it to so to them it’s normal and fine.
Then they go to school and things change. Now their school mates [And their school mates parents!] get to know that ‘their dad walks around in a dress’
So the ridicule and bullying begins.
I wouldn’t put my children through that for anything. Children always come first.
I wouldn't do it with my children at any age. If we can't or won't control our need or urge to dress in private I'd say we've got a problem. My thoughts are unless you are heading for transition the dressing should be private. It's selfish to push or press to expose small children to things they can't possibly understand. I would fear long term harm to their socialization. I know that cross dressing isn't just sexual or in some cases sexual at all. But it hits to close to exposing children to your private sex life with the child's mother. I would never have been so selfish to even consider it. And to me, it is a selfish act and I don't care how you sugar coat it.
absolutely ->agree 100%!
That is by far the best advice - impartial yet accurate.
I understand completely where you are coming from, but this as an argument just doesn't sound right.
Bullying somebody because his or her dad dress as a woman, is not something that is OK to ridicule anymore.
And if there are people who should understand it in the first place , it's us, also we should be the example and some kind of education
for others, to show that despite our difference we are as good or bad people as any other people.
If kids want to bully other, they will always find some reason - big nose, bad hair color.. you name it.
Following this argument, gays should never have right to take care of children etc..
We should be proud for who we are , and I don't mean shove it in other people's faces, but just standing our ground.
Kids won't really care , and if they do, I'm pretty sure it's not crossdressing that bothers them or making their life bad,
it's something more serious than that
Contrary to opinions you will get in the negative, the simple fact is that that the younger the child, the easier it is for them to accept and adjust to any circumstance. The question for you is, are you prepared to have your kid out you? 15 months is safe now, but there will be a time, soon, that they tell their friends, your wife, teachers, you name it. They can't keep this secret. If you want to keep this secret, then you can't dress in front of the kids. It's pretty simple.
Bottom line is that it will not scar the kids.
I agree completely. My daughter has seen me since age 5 and been in public with me since Halloween in Chicago at age 6.Dad is still Dad no matter the "outfit". There is nothing better than a little girl helping you hang up your clothes and ask you"is there anything I can wear?" She has already told anyone she chose to or not and there have been no repercussions. Some people on here are afraid to get dressed in front of their dog!
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
I disagree completely. You're risking lasting emotional and psychological damage to the child.
Is it really worth it?
How do you know so much from your closet?
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
Moderator caution: Be respectful to each other.
As one who prefers scientific evidence to off-the-cuff opinionating, I find it helpful to read the research. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of published research on the question of effects of transgendered parents on children. However, what there is seems to indicate that as long as a parent's transgenderism isn't a point of conflict with his/her spouse and as long as a parent doesn't place an unfair burden of family secrecy on a child, there's no harm to children. And yes, the younger a child finds out, the easier time they have adjusting.
If you don't have a university library handy, Google scholar is your friend.
funniest thing I've heard in a while
Mindy
Member of the "Pulled Over When Dressed Club"
If I can get out there, you can too
Not sure this is always true. My cat seems to give me a funny look and has put more than a run or two in my stockings. Not sure what that means!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wasn't sure from reading the OP whether this was a custody situation or just an opportunity that you would be alone with your son. If it were custody I would say definitely don't do it because while it does not have to be an issue in a custody situation frequently it is one. In any case a 15 month old might be very active crawling around and so forth so I don't even know how much time you might have.
I posted the same question myself on a different CD forum 5 years ago with the same intent as the original poster. Its good to get a range of opinions and I am glad I got the same thing when i originally posted. Ultimately its your decision.
I know my attitude about this had changed from the time before I had kids and then after and I would definitely consider that when you evaluate some of the inputs you have gotten. You can never truly say what you would or wouldn't do with your kids until you have them.
Good luck.
Last edited by darla_g; 02-15-2013 at 07:44 PM.
My wife and I went out to meet another couple with our 1 month old because there really isn't an option for child care at that age. I don't think I'd do it after she's 6-9 months old at most, but that's just me. I certainly don't do it around my 4 year old. While I'm sure she'd have no issues with it I don't want to put her, my wife, or me into any awkward situations since I can't be totally open about my CDing. It's a fine line to walk since I'm doing everything I can to be open and honest with the kids and to teach them to do the same, but I plan to walk it for as long as I can.
For you, it depends on your specific situation. Is CDing something that will always be out in the open for you? When he starts talking, what will a word about daddy wearing dresses do in certain situations?
Good luck,
Bree
Not being a psychologist, this could all be garbage. (Of course I'm not sure what one gets out of a psychologist is any better, will CD's be a damaging factor to kids development still? If it was that big of an item then halloween costumes of all forms should, worn by anyone, be a mind bending detriment to a wee one.
I happened to be babysitting my graddaughter ( 18 mo.) the other day. I was sitting on the couch with my laptop on, of all places, my lap. I was looking over older pictures of Stephanie and had to get up to answer the phone. So I put the laptop down. As I was coming back into the living room the munchkin was looking at the screen pointing and saying "Nana". ( Thats my wifes nickname to the grandkids. I'm Papa). Now, I know they say couples start looking alike when the get older, but really..
So curiosity asks "Just what is relative to children, and at what age?" Is what they see really what they see?
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
― Confucius
All my kids (24, 13, 11) know I crossdress. I generally don't do it when they are home, but every morning they see me up wearing a red nighty under a full length night dress, just no forms or wig. They accept and just dont care.
Drumming, My other hobby
My wife felt it was OK for me to be around ours up to the 6-9 mo. range. I didn't want to, but she just needed me to be there for a few minutes here or there. She thought I was silly to worry about it, but, after that age, we agreed it's a no no. I would say 15 mos. is a tad old if you're keeping it secret.
"I want you all to call me Loretta." - The Life of Brian
The 2 children that my late wife and I had did not know that I was crossdresser until just a few years ago, after my dear wife had passed away! They have never seen me dressed enfemme and don't want to. Which is fine by me! Of course I am frequently underdressed when around them, but they don't see that. They are both in their 50's!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
The difference between a part time crossdresser and someone transitioning is the CDer doesn't have to tell the kids, but the transitioner must tell the kids. In the larger scheme of your life, hiding your CDing is just telling yourself and every one you hide from that what you are doing is wrong. You are basically telling your kids that crossdressing is wrong. My youngest son was in the 3rd grade when he announced to his classmates that I painted my fingernails. He was in the 8th grade when I came home from a day volunteering at Southern Comfort Conference, walked into the house fully enfemme right in front of his high school science classmate, who had also been one of his friends in Cub Scouts when I was a Den Leader. He has been telling his friends at his new school that I dress, and they think it is cool.
My older son is a closeted crossdresser and is still uncomfortable with it and hence himself. I waited too long to be out in life for him.
Children will innocently say things about the "wrong" subject at the "wrong" time. You could very easily be outed by a child.
I agree with everyone who said no. With all the turmoil and growing pains they have to endure, why add to that.
At the same time I also teach them to be accepting and non judging of people until you yourself learn otherwise. That doesn't mean a friend said this about him or someone said this about her.
Children are very impressional at that age. I would be very careful.
I know enough to know I don't know enough.
Peace
Personally never have and never will, accept for a costume event or some other socially acceptable time. I don't have the same desires that many have, though, I'm more than happy doing this privately. Like everyone else said, this is not a secret I would aks them to keep either.
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