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Thread: The cross dressers fashion dilemma

  1. #1
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    The cross dressers fashion dilemma

    Last night AllieSF and I were have a debate about a post I made. I am firmly in the "age appropriate" dressing category. Allie's position is that there are no rules and anything goes.

    So, I thought this would be a good debate for the group. I hope that the women here jump on this thread as they are the best source of real information as they live it every day.

    My thesis is this: dress as you like in the house, whatever makes you feel good. This is true for men and women. But when you go out, if you want to blend or not attract negative attention, there are "rules" that exist and dressing age appropriate is the only solution. Hemlines go down as we age for example. Cleavage is more covered, and so on. To me, even if she has a great body, a 50 year old GG in a leather miniskirt is just sad and most of us would notice and not in a positive way. In the same way, a 30 year man with pants belted below his ass and boxers showing is equally sad. Both scenarios are the portrayal of what they are obviously not.

    So what do you all think? When part of the public, does anything really go? Is age appropriate just "old" ? Now please do NOT respond with how things "should be" just the reality of what is and with the caveat that the cross dresser is out in public. Should we cross dressers aim for age appropriateness or let it fly? And what is the consequence of each?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    My thesis is this: dress as you like in the house, whatever makes you feel good. This is true for men and women. But when you go out, if you want to blend or not attract negative attention, there are "rules" that exist and dressing age appropriate is the only solution.
    You're correct. I Agree 100%

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member Jana's Avatar
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    I agree with you, 100%!

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    Julie Gaum Julie Gaum's Avatar
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    I also agree but there reaches an age when one can blend (in my case for one) with clothes befitting a decade or so younger. For example
    I'm 87 but my wardrobe of dresses, skirts and pants are suitable for a 70 year-old. In other words there is an age plateau at the older ages
    when, provided you are physically able, that you can still be considered stylish.
    Julie

  5. #5
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    You see my pic at a Rememberance Day service so I must agree as well..You have to read your audience but dressing to blend is a help in acceptance often. However,nothing "frumpy" for the nightclub or you won't get accepted there!
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  6. #6
    Gender Explorer Meghan's Avatar
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    100% agree. GG's follow the same rules. They know if they wear something revealing or way too tight, or deck out the makeup etc, they will attract attention. Sexy legs and heels attract attention. If you want to blend, tone it done. If you want to stand out and don't mind the attention...go for it!

    Meghan
    "No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back."

    ~Turkish Proverb

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    Dressing makes a statement. If you dress inapropriately in public, you are making a statement that others may/may not understand.

    I prefer to make the statement that even though I can be read as a guy in a dress, it is appropriate (and necessary) for me to express my innate sense of femininity. Dressing as a woman of my age would be expected to tells the public that for me it is a gender thing, not a fetish.
    Warmly,
    Sheren Kelly

  8. #8
    "A glass of wine anytime" rachaelsloane's Avatar
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    Let's see how much trouble I can get into in answering this one given I'm certifiably old. First, in addition to the clothes when one goes out, it's how your makeup looks. The more subtle your makeup is, one is not going to draw a lot of attention even if the skirt(dress) is short or showing too much cleavage, some is OK. I believe I have pushed the envelope a few times with an outfit (somewhat short but not mini) but wear lower heels, that's the trade off.
    So to answer your question, I'm not always age appropriate (my opinion), but almost always get compliments on what I'm wearing.
    Where I know I'm not age appropriate is the length of my hair, but it works and does make me look younger.

  9. #9
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    Dressing for any sex is just common sense. You dress appropriately for the season and
    the circumstance of where you are. IE, would not wear torn jeans & a dirty top to a friends formal
    Wedding, nor would you wear a formal or a Tux to mow the lawn.
    Rader

  10. #10
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    Can you see anyone telling Rene Russo or Sela Ward to dress their age? Personally I try to maintain an elegant and stylish look. That doesn't mean that I have to wear what my grandmother wore. I think that if you are in shape, even at 60, you can show your legs off or accent your cleavage and still be attractive without seeming desperate. The fashion police seem to think Jennifer Lopez is too old for.some of.the fashions she wears. I think she pulls it off so I say good for her!
    Sally

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member Lady Catherine's Avatar
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    I've met GG's that were in their 50's that could pass for 20's. I say wear what you can pull off. I do agree that nothing looks worse then trying to look younger and failing, but if you look younger then you are. Go for it.
    I know enough to know I don't know enough.

    Peace

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    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I generally agree with u when I go out in vanilla land, Jenn. On the other hand, that's the reason WHY I don't go out there that often!

    As a 60 y/o old, I love seeing a SHAPELY 50's something GG in a sexy mini skirt. I say, "If you've still got it, flaunt it!"

    And, what's good for the goose, applies to this gander, too!

    When my shape's gone, THEN, I'll wear granny gear!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  13. #13
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    UNTIL someone can tell me where to get a copy of the CDers Rulebook...

    Actually, I wouldn't read it anyway. There is no "right" or "wrong" way for anyone to dress IMO, whether they are in great shape for their age [or ANY age] or 100 pounds overweight. If someone is confident enough/comfortable enough with their body, they should wear whatever they like or find comfortable. No one is being forced to look at them.

    Clothing choice is ONLY a wrapper and can often be misleading, so I put little stock in what people wear.

  14. #14
    Member barbie lanai's Avatar
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    " In the same way, a 30 year man with pants belted below his ass and boxers showing is equally sad. "

    Not sure there is any age this works.
    [SIZE="3"]
    *** Barbie Lanai ***
    [/SIZE]

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    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    So what do you all think? When part of the public, does anything really go? Is age appropriate just "old" ? Now please do NOT respond with how things "should be" just the reality of what is and with the caveat that the cross dresser is out in public. Should we cross dressers aim for age appropriateness or let it fly? And what is the consequence of each?
    No. I think that people look tacky when they do not dress age or body appropriate. This goes for everyone, men, women, and the gender non-conforming.

    A middle aged man looks ridiculous walking around dressed like his 16 year old son, just as the middle aged mom looks, when she tries to dress like her daughter, even if it is a hot clubwear dress. She may have the body for it, but not the face.

    Speaking strictly of CDers though, when they dress way younger or with shorter dresses, or body hugging clothes for their ages (or body types), they are noticed and stared at even more, just as are the GGs who do the same thing ... and not for good reasons.
    Reine

  16. #16
    Member AllyCDTV's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wildaboutheels View Post
    UNTIL someone can tell me where to get a copy of the CDers Rulebook...
    I really get a kick out of the people that try to make up the rule book for others. The truth is that it isn't anybody's business to dictate what is the right or wrong way for anybody to dress outside of themselves. And that applies to my sister crossdressers as well as the redneck in the bar. As a child of the '60's I miss how people would express their individuality in the way they would dress. Dressing of any kind was much more fun and interesting back then.

    As far what is age appropriate, I always think of Satchel Paige's quote "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"
    "We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think." - The Buddha

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Amanda_P's Avatar
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    Even though I agree with you 100%. I work in a very public place and a lot of the women we get dress without regard to age. Myself I would not be caught dead in some of the outfits these women wear. I'm well into my 50s and I can say with all the old cleavage I see I wonder what they was thinking when they left the house. No I am still male and a nice looking woman with something nice on will still catch my eye. But an older woman wearing the same thing will catch my stomach.

  18. #18
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllyCDTV View Post
    The truth is that it isn't anybody's business to dictate what is the right or wrong way for anybody to dress outside of themselves.
    I don't think that anyone here is trying to tell others how they should dress. I'm not. But I can speak of the impression that others will get. Whether we like it or not, there are tacit social norms about appearance (the entire fashion industry is built on this). Most people do want to make a good impression.

    I should think the last thing you'd want would be for people to think when they see you, "OMG, how tacky ... she shouldn't wear that at her age and/or with her body". But, if you don't care what others think or how you are seen, then have at it!
    Reine

  19. #19
    Member MonctonGirl's Avatar
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    Stores sell age-based clothing for a reason, but if someone wants to go out
    dressed as Little Bo Peep - I guess they are within their rights.

    However, when they do so ( or display any other outlandish, attention-seeking behavior )
    they make it harder for those more conservative to not encounter prejudice, since the majority
    of the population will figure "we" are nutbars, too.

    So I guess we are in the same dilemma as the conservative homosexual who lives a nice, quiet life
    watching the attention-seeking gay parade participants thinking to himself :
    "OMG what are these r****ds DOING ?"

  20. #20
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    Personally, if I saw a 50 year old GG walking around in a leather mini, I'd... well, ask if she was single. Most others around her may not approve, but I'd think it is great she feels great about herself despite what others might say about a woman her age, good for her!

  21. #21
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    I dress nicely with some lovely clothes i have, they suit me & my day wear is in keeping with who i am as a woman.
    What i do like wearing is my garb, or Renaissance clothes, no matter what they look like they are still age appropreate,

    That of cause is in the public domain, seen by many people, that includes transport & on plane's ,people look of cause, because it's different, for myself it suits my apprance better, even better than my day clothes,

    So i dont need to pass or blend in. & its more accepibale & i get lovely comments,

    My Edwardian clothes are plain yet again in keeping with my self & how i look, had i looked more as a female / woman then i would wear more feminine clothes, i dont so i do what i belive is best for this woman, I work with what i have, i dont pretend .

    Jos will soon tell me whats not right for me to wear, Hey i know its harder for me than most women. where i lack i make up else where,

    ...noeleena...

  22. #22
    Senior Member Diversity's Avatar
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    I vote for dressing in 'age appropriate' attire when going out, especially as a CD'r if you don't want to attract negative attention. By dressing appropriately, you'll ultimately have more fun! Save the 'fly in the face dressing' for home wear.
    Di

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    I agree with you 100%. I'm 52 and I only have skirts that are just one or two inches above the knee at the most. My legs are my best feature so I like them to get attention but not too much. I wear a lot of slacks and maxi skirts and definitely try to blend in. I've talked with GG's about hemlines and yes, while they tend to go down they don't go all the way down otherwise ladies in their seventies would be tripping on their skirts. If you have pretty defined legs, I think you can show your legs off but that doesn't mean mini skirts for a 50 year old. My HR manager and I just had this conversation. She's my age and had on a very pretty skirt suit. She skirt came a little above the knee. I said that's was as high as I'd go and she agreed. I told her she had lovely legs and she said mine were too and that we should show them to a point.

    So yes, age appropriate is what I think is proper. Of course that depends on what age you look like. I think Jennifer - at - home looks to be in her early forties so I think she can have a little fun. My wife looks to be maybe 40 (she's 52), very thin and can get away with shorter skirts than I would wear. She still avoids the very short ones however since we are in our fifties.

    Fun thread. I haven't read it yet as I didn't want to prejudice myself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    So what do you all think? When part of the public, does anything really go? Is age appropriate just "old" ? Now please do NOT respond with how things "should be" just the reality of what is and with the caveat that the cross dresser is out in public. Should we cross dressers aim for age appropriateness or let it fly? And what is the consequence of each?
    I wear heels almost all the time and everywhere. 3-4" but not stripper platforms
    I wear skirts unless I absolutely have to wear jeans for the job i'm doing but knee length or long hippie skirts.
    I have some lowish cut tops and they have their place but aren't always appropriate.

    Consquences and reality?
    I can be taken seriously, even with my style quirks or I can look like a woman that gives change for a $10 bill or mutton dressed as lamb.
    I prefer to taken seriously.

  25. #25
    Junior Member RedBaron's Avatar
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    I disagree very much. I don't dress to please others, I dress to please myself. I am 67 years old, have a beard, and go out in public in skirts every day. I love miniskirts and wear them all the time. I get lots of compliments, since my legs are still in good shape, but most important for me is that I like it. I don't really care what other people think, I live my life, not theirs.
    Have fun now, life is too short to wait,
    RedBaron
    http://www.facebook.com/guenther.eichhorn

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