I am lucky enough to be a convincing dresser (although not as gorgeous as some here). I love to see other convincing mtf girls but when I see someone who looks like a man in a frock I am terrified that I look like that too.
My SO and other friends assure me that this is not the case but I feel put off and don't like to dress for a while.
Does anyone else have this problem?
I've never been put off because someone else was not convencing! Have been put off many times when I didn't look convincing!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
I think to reply to your thread you need to post some pictures Lucy.
What your SO and friends tell you might not be 100% the truth.
For many of us it’s not about passing but just being C.D. That ‘man in a frock’ is one of us and is just as important as the good looking members.
So if you really want to know if you are convincing post some realistic pictures of you and ask for honest opinions. [This takes guts in my opinion]
There are one or two members here that will tell you the truth in a kind way.
Last edited by suzy1; 12-15-2012 at 05:48 AM.
Hi,
Convincing, passing ,blending in. dressing in such a way one would be seen as a woman.
Not a show for this female / woman, none of those words discribe or do anything for me,
Now this man in a frock detail, one im not a man so does not apply, yet in some ways it does, how am i seen, body wise a woman my facial features, yes well not as a female or woman. sorry to dispell your terrified that one may look like that.
Well now you know what i go through or to put it another way im embarrised around others who can look far more feminine that i ever will. yes most are males & look a darn sight better than i, & maybe do a darn good job of all of it,
The difference is im a female / woman. not a trans just a bit different thats all.
As i was growing up i had to go through things that would help me become a strong woman, life really, so no i dont look like a woman, not even a plain one at that, yes i have my moments, , still have to open the door & go out, cant hide .well i could & then have no life,
There are other details / things about my self that counter my looks, im a member of women only groups, & world wide, a member of quite a few groups with in our membership some 1000 people 800 would be women. i make my clothes for dressing in two period groups, so im well known & very well accepted, my peers are just great, my friends are really neat, & Jos is on my side, so yes i lack some what & make up for that in many other ways,
There is some thing i would say had i had those feminine looks i may not have done as well as i have to be where i am now so sometimes to be a stuner or a good looking woman i may never have had so many doors open for me , so i look at it in a different light in regard to how you may or most would, im different & because of that , i have a lot more in my life than had i had ...those ...looks, .
Iv been over seas & dressed in my period wear, so i can do things others wont, well no one i know from here, down our streets & many places, so dressing different & being different works well for me .
Oh & by the way that avatar is of myself & how i dress in normal day wear, & Jos took the pic, most days my head wear is similer to a turbin, that scarve you see is what i wear twirled around my head, looks neat too.
...noeleena...
Last edited by noeleena; 12-15-2012 at 06:08 AM.
Every dang day. I have this thing stuck in my head where I can't tell true compliments from the "Aren't you special"
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Get some professional opinions, do not rely on amateurs.
Post photos, all the professionals are here.
Some of us tell the truth unfortunately.
At least you will have a better idea of how you look.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Maybe similar experiences, Lucy? Except I could care less what others see when I dress.
But, I care A LOT how I think I look. If I see a, "man in a dress", in my mirror, I'm VERY UPSET!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I think the only one I want to convince is myself. I don't know that I'll ever go public, but I'd like to do so with CD friends, after I meet some, who knows when. I'm taking my time. I have ideas how to look nice, dealing with what I have, a good body, but masculine face. I would have to shave off my whiskers. Thinking of wearing sunglasses and a light face cream or something and a big feminine stocking cap, like "Groovy Dancing Girl".
T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"
I think we all want to be convincing. If your wife will go out with you dressed you must be doing well.
Sometimes I think I look okay enfemme, other days I think I look like a guy in a dress. Ah well...
I have found that when I look in the mirror, I find myself somewhat convincing, but when I look at my full body pictures or videos, I almost never think I could pass. Just a thought that might help.
That's how it works for me. I have some reasonably OK pics that convince me I might pass/blend... I have been out without issues, and those times fill me with confidence.Originally Posted by Marleena
But then are the bad pics, the days when you know you've been 'clocked' whilst out - and those dreadful days when no matter how hard you try the mirror is saying NO!
It is a rollercoaster I find... some days you win... BUT!
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
If you are ever in doubt find a group of teenage girls to walk past. You'll have your answer in a hurry!
Hee hee!If you are ever in doubt find a group of teenage girls to walk past. You'll have your answer in a hurry!
It's bad enough going by a group of female teenagers as my dude self!
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
I am afraid that i may be one of those who terrifies you. Certainly I try to look the best I can, but nature endowed me with some attributes that are difficult to hide. I just accept it and act like I belong there. Don't let people like me discourage you...instead be that much more confident in your appearance. If someone like me can do it, you have it made!
Honestly, as long as I'm convinced, that's all that really matters Hon.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Without a lot of professional help, i don't think I'll ever be convincing, but I care less and less...as I posted earlier today, I went out last week, got made almost immediately, and just didn't care. The first girl was nice and supportive. In the next shop, there were two starers, one pleasant and helpful shop girl and one woman who just raised an eyebrow and went about her business. I figure it is up to others to deal with how they feel about me. Now, lest you think I am brave than I really am, i only do this while travelling, never at home!
I can work on my face in the mirror and think it's all good; then sit in front of the webcam and wonder who that hideous imposter is. My digital camera does the same thing. But, I'm not on my way to the Miss America Pageant, so I go out anyway. Seriously, go to the mall or Walmart, and LOOK at people. There aren't very many 10's running around out there. Notice how many people aren't star quality. But they are everyday people, living everyday lives, and going about the business of living. And everyday people is what I am.
Most of the CDs/TS's, etc. I've seen pictures of tend to give themselves away with their makeup; i.e., too much of a good thing. It's almost as if they are painting on a false face. Maybe that's their intent, but overdoing it is a sure give away. I have a beautiful younger sister who some say is my twin even though she is 8 years my junior. I have lots of photos of her so I try to mimic her makeup. Most of the time I get pretty close, but sometimes, especially when trying something new, I usually over do it or just do it wrong.
Anytime I'm around someone who I think might see right through me and they pay me a compliment, I go looking for a mirror to see what the heck is wrong.
Girl, have you been to wallyworld? Half of the GGs and GMs don't 'pass' as stereotypical examples of their gender and they're not even trying to CD... I know I don't look like a perfect GG, heck only 1 out of 10 are gifted with the perfect ratios anyways.... I dress to a point where I feel comfortable and do my best to blend in ..... okay, I'm not giving up my heels and then I head on out....
Renne.....
Where are the pics?
Lucy
When you see a "guy in a frock" and become disgusted and bummed, did you ever consider that when the "guy in a frock" sees you maybe he/she wishes he/she could look like you and gets bummed and stops dressing for awhile?
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
Lucy,
Look, this will come up over and over again, this whole concept of "passing." The reality of everything is that without severe effort, and FULL transition (including laser, HRT for years and likely FFS), you're never going to really "fool" most people. There are too many nuances, subtle differences in the angle of your jaw, your forehead, bodyfat distribution, the list goes on and on. The healthiest way to approach this thing (IMO) is to just "own" "being a tranny" and be done with it. You don't have to go announcing it to the world but accept it as what you are, and don't feel bad, wrong, or ashamed about it. Just look at my prior posts, I have went further with this, including examples and videos on it.
I look decent from far away and okay straight on... from the side, or if I'm tired or in bad lighting I look like a male or ugly woman... Some days I can see myself in the mirror and I think wow, great job, then I can take my own picture and look at the results and think...it was wishful thinking. At some point I reached a level of acceptance and it doesn't bother me if I'm convincing or not, I try my best, but I also accept that there is only so much I can do given its a part time activity.
Chickie
Well put, Sophie! Own it!
I was just about to say that. You got there first Jan, blast!
Posting Permissions
