Letter to family

[CutieJulie]

Hey all,
I'm gonna be coming out to my family next moth and i wrote them a letter and would like some input on it. Let me know what you think

thanks,

Julie



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Hello Mom, Dad & -sister's name-,

I am writing this letter to you guys because I have something to tell you that has been on my mind and in my thoughts since I have been very little. Something that I have felt deep down to be true and something that I felt at the time, that I needed to hide. Something at first I thought was unique to me and me alone… I have since found different. In fact, I found that one out of every 80,000 people have the same thing that I do, the same thing I am about to tell you about.

I am afraid… afraid to tell you my secret. I am afraid of the outcome, of the consequences of my actions, I am afraid of what it will do to the family, and mostly I am afraid of… Rejection. Afraid that you won’t love me anymore, and won’t want to have anything to do with me.

All I have ever wanted from you was love, and for you to be proud of me. I love you all so much, so very very much. More than you could ever know… So much so that I have held this in since as far back as I can remember, even though it has cause me GREAT Anxiety, pain & suffering to do so. All so that I wouldn’t cause any suffering to you. My family, the people in this world that mean the most to me.

But now is the time to let go of the secret. Let go and let the cards fall where they may.

Mom & Dad, no matter what I say, I hope you know that you raised an intelligent, highly creative, and very caring person. A person who will, no matter what, still be your child.

-sisters name-, I love very much, I can only hope that what I am about to tell you all only brings us all closer together. Perhaps this will explain some of the “strange” actions of my past.

Well, enough stalling, out with it, so to speak. Here is my secret.
*Wipes tears* Here goes everything…

First off… THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Nothing you did or could have done differently would change anything.




I was born with a rare birth defect. One that is invisible to the naked eye, something that can’t be detected by gizmos & doodads. Something that is or isn’t present in the brain, it’s a chemical disorder. I have Gender Identity Disorder, or G.I.D. Which means my brain and my body does not match. In all actuality, I have the brain of a girl, and the body of a boy. This is called Transsexualism. The problem starts in the womb, as you may or may not know, all humans start off as female, and they need the right chemical mix at the right moment to have a fully male child or a fully female child. What happens with Transsexuals is that the male chemicals, Testosterone mostly, only hits the brain in which case you get a female to male transsexual. Or in my case, the Testosterone only hits the body, or doesn’t have enough to complete the entire process. I’ve known this since I was 5 or 6 years old. Ok, maybe not the specifics, but I knew I was supposed to have been and wanted to be a girl. And I want my body to match my brain.

I want, no, I NEED to be a girl. I have known I wanted to be a girl for so long. Over the years I have found various ways to express myself and my need to be a girl. Some I’m sure you are aware of, like playing dress up. When I got older I snuck -sister's name-’s clothes and wore them when no one was home. I’m sorry -sister's name-. I would have asked but, well… you know.

I tried to stop once. When we moved to the new house I quit dressing 100%. Well, I kept getting more and more depressed, and after almost a year I was suicidal. I was seriously considering killing myself. So it was either dress like a girl, or hang myself in the bathroom. I don’t want to scare you, but I just want you to know that this is very real, and everything I have said is the absolute truth.

I’ve hid this for SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO long, and now it’s out for good.

I’ve enclosed a book for you to read and several movies on the subject that I hope you will read and watch. Please call me when you feel ready to talk. I leave this up to you now. Let it soak in, and remember. I love you all so much, so very very VERY much and losing you scares me more than anything in the entire world. Hugs. And let love guide your heart


Love Always

-signed-

[Melissa Ryan]

[SIZE="4"]I am really moved! That was good........I hope it all goes well for you![/SIZE]

[Sharon]

It's a wonderful letter Julie, and I was moved also.

One question for you: Do you plan to be there when your family reads the letter?

[Helana]

I have the same thought as Sharon. By all means let them read the letter first but you need to be there so that you can answer their questions. Their first reaction will likely be denial and that you are confused and need help. You need to tell them that is not the case. Something as important as this should really be done face to face. Put yourself in their shoes, they need to hear this from you directly.

Helana

[Nyx]

Good luck soldier!

http://www.drabruzzi.com/images/Female%20Soldier1.jpg

[Kim E]

I also found your letter to be very touching, sensitive and sincere. I'm sure many of us can relate to your pain and struggle over your gender identity.

I'm curious what book and videos you are including with your letter.

Good luck and I wish you well. I hope it all works out in a positive way for you and your family.

Kim

[mand]

Hello Julie Super letter love, you have made a very nice job of explaining you're feelings and wishes

As for being there when you're family read it, that is entirely you're decsion..............to tell someone you love that you are TS is one of the most scariest and frightening things there is, I'm sure you're well aware of that and don't need me to say it
To be able to tell a loved one face to face, well some of us can do it and some of us can't................do it the way you're heart tells you too.
You know which is the best way for you.


My very best wishes..................love mand xxx

[Tracy Lynn]

Very touching. Good luck Julie.

[DonnaT]

A very moving letter Julie.

I do have a problem with the combined points re: being afraid, re: the love and re: the suicidal tendencies.

To me, it seems like you will be putting your folks on the spot. They may think that they have to tell you that it's OK, so you will not think they do not love you, or to keep you from harming yourself. This is a sort of emotional blackmail, IMHO.

That said, I do see the need for saying all those things, being truthful and all, so I won't suggest you amend your letter to have less of a 'blackmail' feel. That is up to you, BUT I will suggest that you be there to gauge their initial reactions.

Good Luck.

[CutieJulie]

thanks for all the comments. To answer some of the questions the book i'm including is called True selves, understanding transsexualism - for families, friends, coworkers and helping professionals. And the movies i'm still up in the air on but i'm thinking "mie en ven rose" and I don't know what else yet.

Also I'm planing on mailing it for two reasons. Once the letter is in the mail its done and there's no out. And I'm just too Scared. hehe

[BrendaChristine]

thanks for all the comments. To answer some of the questions the book i'm including is called True selves, understanding transsexualism - for families, friends, coworkers and helping professionals. And the movies i'm still up in the air on but i'm thinking "mie en ven rose" and I don't know what else yet.

Also I'm planing on mailing it for two reasons. Once the letter is in the mail its done and there's no out. And I'm just too Scared. hehe

That was a very well written letter. So informative and heartfelt. I hope you find the happiness you deserve.
B.

[Stephenie]

Julie,
This is a big step. You wrote a very heart felt letter and no matter how your family response, they will know that you are sure of how you feel.

Please let us know how things go.

Best wishes.

[VickySTG]

I read the letter it is very nice a bit long but good. However you refer to the condition as if it were a problem, something as if it were not a normal human occurrence. 10% of any population has some sort of gender identity issue.

Write the letter but don't be ashamed of who you are. Think as if you are telling your family you are left-handed.

You act ashamed they will treat you that way. You sound like you think it’s not normal they will treat you that way. I am not saying not to be humble, you can be humble and still respect you self and have dignity.


Vicky