Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Latest for Regan

  1. #1
    Member Regan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Portage, Mi
    Posts
    401

    Latest for Regan

    Through the help of a great therapist I have come to total acceptance that I am a crossdresser and homosexual. My wife and I, mainly my wife, have decided we need to divorce. She is not angry about the dressing or gay but more about the dishonesty. She also says she cannot put up with the dressing and knows she can’t fight the gay part. Also I told her that I have never been sexually attracted to woman and mainly played the role that I was raised to play. I also realize that this was real weak on my part not to be honest to her or myself sooner. I will be living in the basement for awhile because of financial reasons and it also gives us the time to deal with the kids. The kids know we are divorcing and my 15 year old daughter knows about me being gay but not the CD side. We are not telling my 12 year old son either part at this time. We are both in therapy and also are recovering alcoholics so we have that support also. I will be coming out to my family after the holidays; my younger sister is the only one who knows the whole story. As painful this is for everyone, I realized I cannot give my wife what she needs and deserves, and I will never be happy with myself. I hate myself for hiding this for so long and not being the real me but I need to let everyone close to me who the real me is. I also want to thanks everyone on this site because you also give me the support and strength to be the real me; you are all life savers.
    Love
    Regan

  2. #2
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Living in the present
    Posts
    2,563
    My heart goes out to you and your family, Regan.

  3. #3
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    waimate new zealand
    Posts
    3,326
    Hi Regan.

    Not allways so easy to tell others & more so those close to you,
    At least for now you both know where you stand in that regard,

    Long term though you can not live together, try & be friends & if you both can , you maybe able to surport each other with some of the issues that may arise,

    Hugs to you both .Take care,

    ...noeleena...

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Bangor Maine
    Posts
    40,043
    Yikes, That is rough for everyone involved, I hope you all get the support and peace that you need for the Holiday season.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,955
    It is a lot to carry this burden at this time of the year.
    As long as you can separate amicably and remain in contact with each other your future should improve.
    As recovering alcoholics you both know what is expected of you and this should help immensely.
    I wish you both the best for your respective futures, and please try not to argue.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #6
    Member SandraInHose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    446
    Wishing you the best, Regan. Especially for your kids. YOU will come though all of this OK, but the kids will be the ones who will have the toughest road ahead, especially in the next few years (mid-to-late teens), which are so important to one's development as adults. Make sure they are your priority, and let everything else fall in behind that. Godspeed.
    "Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade is the event of the season" ('Carry On Wayward Son' by Kansas)

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    16,589
    Regan,

    Good luck to you and all the family in overcoming any difficulties you might have in the future.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  8. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Posts
    23,676
    Lets hope that each of you can find peace in the new year!

  9. #9
    Member Regan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Portage, Mi
    Posts
    401
    Thanks to everyone and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

  10. #10
    Tonya, the SHOE monster! rocketscientist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    SW Michigan BABY!
    Posts
    1,613
    I can only echo these sentiments Regan. I can't blame you for not being honest with your wife. I don't think you planned it that way. I think that you figured if you fought it long enough it would go away. But now you've come to the realization that it will never go away. It's just WHO you are. It's hard to explain to someone else what you don't understand yourself. My best wishes to you this holiday season and in the future. Hugs,Tonya

    Quote Originally Posted by SandraInHose View Post
    Wishing you the best, Regan. Especially for your kids. YOU will come though all of this OK, but the kids will be the ones who will have the toughest road ahead, especially in the next few years (mid-to-late teens), which are so important to one's development as adults. Make sure they are your priority, and let everything else fall in behind that. Godspeed.
    "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken" = Oscar Wilde

  11. #11
    Gold Member JenniferR771's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    West Michigan
    Posts
    5,176
    Very upsetting situation. My heart goes out to you Regan. There is nothing unusual about hiding aspects of yourself that you feel would be unaccepted by your parents, authorities and peers.
    I am confused by certain of your comments. If you are not interested in women--why would you want to stay?

  12. #12
    Senior Member Krististeph's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    midwest suburbs
    Posts
    1,521
    hey Regan!

    You and your family are in my thoughts, I am wishing the best for you all. You seem to really be getting on top of your life now, despite the pain. I'm lucky that i managed to get the guts to tell my girlfriend before we married, but i understand where you are coming from, and yeah, society and religions are equally as culpable for fear of disclosure.

    The only thing i might suggest, dear, is to change your sentence that you 'hate yourself' for whatever happened, to "I hate the way that it happened..." Regardless of whatever portion of blame you may feel, just as you do not hate your wife for not being able to accept your true self, you have no business hating yourself either.

    This sounds like a little thing, but i think it is a hugely important distinction that helps you focus on the future and what you can do with it, rather than assigning a dead end to the blame. I've had to force myself to do this with the things that i feel shame for, and it really does help.

    I hope it can be of some use to you. And you know, when i remember this way of thinking, it's funny how it helps me avoid the very situations that started the feelings of guilt in the first place.

    hang in there!

    kristi

  13. #13
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Ft Lauderdale Fl
    Posts
    3,962
    Take care of the kids.....their future is most important.
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  14. #14
    Member Regan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Portage, Mi
    Posts
    401
    Jennifer

    I am only staying because of financial reasons. I hope to also connecting with the LGBT resources in GR, want to be careful in KAlamazoo for the kids sake.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State