I try to be fluid in my comments and I may be out going but not agressive enough to assert my masculinity.
I try to be fluid in my comments and I may be out going but not agressive enough to assert my masculinity.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
My choice would be Anne 24/7. I've always felt out of place as a man. But, I made it work. I prefer girlfriends over guy friends. I prefer talking about feelings than working on cars. But, I became good at working on cars (mostly out of necessity - couldn't afford mechanic). I love playing and watching sports but not with a bunch of sweaty nasty men.
All that said, I've tried to suppress my femininity most of the time for the past 40+ years. Now that I've fully embraced my femininity, I want to be a woman all the time. I don't enjoy man mode. Never have. Just acted the part because that's what was expected. But, because I still have responsibilities and expectations of being a father, grandfather, son and brother I have to do things I don't enjoy. That's the reality of being a mature adult regardless of gender persona.
Living and Loving in God's Grace,
Anne
Hi,
My issue was i was percived as a boy, did not mean i was or i thought as one, though i dont discount my maleness what little there was / is, not being a dresser or trans does put myself in the being... different....
there are two parts to this the physical to look like a boy & be able to do things as one, yet not intirely in every way.
And the Psychological & Emotional or how im wired very much as female from birth. they do overlap .
i did not relate with or to males did not think as one , fact was very little .
Now because im intersex it does change the dynamics a lot, some physical differences & hormones plus my thinking in so many ways,
Now i know many dresser's & trans have issues with in the begining of looking like & acting or trying to be like a woman. just to be different i did not try or need to. i did not need to unlearn the being a boy or male, some may say rubbish , you have to learn how to be a female & unlearn being a male.
Being intersex i did not need to unlearn because i was not a full male i did not act male i wont say i acted as a full female ether , it was a mix of both. till the time came that allowed my full potential as a woman .
I had to grow & become a woman my part as a female was there from birth, plus my male side ,
Where i have problems is i never had a male mode & i dont know what a real male is i struggled with this most of my life, i knew i was not like males & did not like being around them yet i knew i had to that was hard. i got there & do have some lovely male friends im pleased i was able to overcome my fear / hate of men. i wont say im not still wary or 100 % at ease around men of cause that all stems from 65 years ago.
Now those of you who are male understand what being a male is about, its a blank i dont,
as a kid i was not forced in to being a boy or girl or what i could do Mom just let me develop into a person who was different, as far as it goes being a female / woman is who i am.
...noeleena...
I am ok with being a guy most of the time. It is funny, I never really thought of my male life as really "masculine", typically male for the most part perhaps but I never thought of it as "masculine" per se.
Not particularly. I go into male mode in dress only. I hope at least that I'm the same person regardless of how I dress.
No, never,if I could I would never wear male attire again.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
I'm always in boy mode, even when dressed, so I guess that's a yes? Though I dress like a girl, I never saw myself as one.
Well Andrea being in a masculine profession I need to be my male self most of the time and I enjoy the freedom of being a male (thats a whole can of worms I dont wish to open at this time).My time as Lisa is enjoyable but I cant help being the man I am,I encorporate my femme in my personality every day of my life,maybe as an older CDer the clothes are a lesser necessity than they were some time ago.I hope this stayed on point with your question but I drift alot in my thoughts being the dinosaur that I am.
(Al)Lisa
"you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.
do you like boy mode?
Yes, just as much as I like girl mode but I don't like to look at it as "modes". Either way I chose to dress, I just consider it me.
Do you like expressing masculinity. How much?
Yes, but since accepting this side of me, or at least starting to come to terms with it, I have found that I leave a lot of the macho BS out of it. I feel that I have become a more considerate person and I love it.
Ignoring other considerations, if you only had yourself to please, how much time do you think that you would spend in boy mode and girl mode?
I can't really answer this because I do have a SO to consider but she has never once told me that I couldn't dress as I please whenever I want too. She did mention I should take my nail polish off my toes today though because my nephew like pulling socks off peoples feet and it might not be a great idea to have my nails done if it should happen lol I think the kid may have a foot fetish and is starting at an early age lol
Over all though, I spend quite a bit of time dressed equally. I always have something femme on even while in male attire. Now if he starts pulling down pants, then the world is being exposed to my satin panties
After a while in girl mode are you drawn back to boy mode or do you change back just because of other people?
I think a little of both. If someone comes knocking then I do a quick change back to clark kent. While out to the SO, I don't want to come out to the whole world anytime soon. Am I drawn back to boy mode? No, because it never fully leaves to begin with.
Do you actually love being in either mode depending on your mood?
Mood plays a large roll in how long I stay dressed in a pretty skirt or if I even bother to get dressed in something pretty in the first place. Some days I am in the mood to be wearing my heels all day and some days I don't
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
This is an interesting thread, although, what is masculine/feminine anyway?
I appreciate aspects of what you might call the masculine side of myself. I am great at math, and I am an excellent leader, and I have a great intellect. I like dancing very flirty and femme, but I also enjoy a little slam dancing, and at one particularly free group, I will growl and howl as I dance (often while wearing a dress!).
As to which mode I enjoy more, I enjoy more in female mode, but I need the organization and proactivity from my male mode to make times when I am free to feel femme and be in the moment.
To respond to one of Joanie's questions -
Ignoring other considerations, if you only had yourself to please, how much time do you think that you would spend in boy mode and girl mode? I think right now, girl mode 50%, boy mode 25%, and androgynous mode 25%. However I just came out, and I think over time those numbers may balance more, the modes may become less distinct.
I'm happy both ways. I love being a guy. My girlfriend loves it even more. The urge to go en femme comes in waves to me. Still early days. No clue what'll happen later in the future
Do I like boy mode? ... I guess .... but I much prefer girl mode. Don't get me wrong, I'm comfortable in either mode but my boy mode has to be at least a little bit girly otherwise I just don't feel right.
Do I like expressing masculinity? ... no I don't. I hate doing anything that I consider "masculine". If I have to do something that might be considered masculine (some manly task or chore or whatever) I tell myself it's ok to do it as women also sometimes have do things like this too (if they have to).
If I only had myself to please, how much time do I think that I would spend in boy mode and girl mode? .... I expect it would be 75% girl mode 25% boy mode (outside of work that is).
After a while in girl mode am I drawn back to boy mode or do I change back just because of other people? ... 99% of the time I change back because of other people. Very occasionally I have been wearing unusually tight underwear and I want to get out of that, but that's because of the underwear only not the girl mode.
Do I actually love being in either mode depending on my mood? ... I never "love" being in boy mode, but I always love being in girl mode.
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
Do I like boy mode? No. I think I am TS and do not ever feel good when presenting as a male. Then again even if I am dressed as a male in looks I do not feel very male, and feel like I am an imposter. I always have something female on all the time anyway, whether it is panties, womens jeans, a necklace or bracelet...there is always something. I never dress totally as a male anymore. It makes me feel bad when I do.
Do I like expressing masculinity? ... No, I had to learn how to survive but it is not natural for me. I do it to please others. I have been doing this less and less lately and it is worrisome to me because it is getting harder to hide what I really am from the world and it kind of makes me seem weird to others.
If I only had myself to please, how much time do I think that I would spend in boy mode and girl mode? I dress and portray as a man to please my family and to keep a job. If it wasn't for my family I would likely live as a woman all the time and would likely have done the hormones and surgery a long time ago. I dress as a man only when I have to.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
Boy mode is the majority of my life. I love being a man and doing very physical things. I love to push myself physically and from a risk standpoint. On occasion, I like going into girl mode and doing girl things. I let girl time run its course and that is from as little as a few hours to a few days. Jennifer requires a lot of effort to make presentable so I have tobe motivated to start. Once in Jenn mode, I'm comfortable until the beard starts up and then the whole process has to be restarted. That's real effort. Guy mode is easy and I prefer it.
Do you like boy mode?I accept it. I like girl mode a lot more though.
Do you like expressing masculinity? How much?No, not at all. When I do present as male (most of the time, alas), I try to go for androgynous / blatantly queer. I find it helps, if I perform sexuality*, as I'm at least being true to a bit of myself in how I'm presenting.
[SIZE="1"]*Sexuality as performance : the idea that one can 'perform' - i.e. show themselves to be, or present themselves in a way that suggests, a certain role or sexuality. This is usually through the use of mild stereotype.[/SIZE]
Ignoring other considerations, if you only had yourself to please, how much time do you think that you would spend in boy mode and girl mode?I think it would depend. At this moment in time, if I had only myself to please, and only myself to worry about, I would spend probably all my time in girl mode. In a couple of months, we'll see. I can't imagine it changing any time soon, but stranger things have happened.
But to answer the question as asked - if I only had myself to please, I would probably spend the 85% in boy mode that I do. Almost entirely because I'm at uni, being professional, that sorta thing. And whilst some people are quite open-minded / liberal, a lot of people at my Uni aren't.
(To clarify, the 15% at the moment is pretty much all the time I spend at home)
After a while in girl mode are you drawn back to boy mode or do you change back just because of other people?I change back because of other people / circumstance. Although I have yet to spend much time (more than ~ 1 day) in girl mode, I didn't find myself being in any way drawn back to boy mode.
Do you actually love being in either mode depending on your mood?I love being in girl mode. I feel quite a pointed nothing at being in boy mode - it is (at least at present) a thing that happens to me.
So, do you like boy mode? Not really. I think I'm more uncomfortable in boy mode.
Do you like expressing masculinity. How much? No, somehow, I just don't do it well. I'm not quite masculine enough. A lot of gays think I'm one of them because some unmasculine traits leak out.
Ignoring other considerations, if you only had yourself to please, how much time do you think that you would spend in boy mode and girl mode? If I lived alone, probably dress every night, and on weekends. Definitely sleep in women's clothes every night. And I'd probably go out. Find some friendly clubs and other CDers.
After a while in girl mode are you drawn back to boy mode or do you change back just because of other people? Sometimes I change back cause I get bored with it. But I always have to change back because of people in my life.
Do you actually love being in either mode depending on your mood? No, I don't really like, care for, or think about "being a guy". I just happen to be a guy when not dressed. But when I get a chance to get dressed to the nines, I'm in high heaven.
For every hour I spend as a guy, it makes me enjoy the time as a girl that much more.
To be fair, most GGs don't put that much effort into hair and makeup every day. A brush of the hair and a quick applications of lipstick and they're ready to go. CDers need a really close shave and good foundation application just to get to the point where most GGs roll out of bed in the morning.Originally Posted by MonctonGirl
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
Exactly ---- The time spent in guy mode definately makes the time enfemme all the more exciting. My SO is in GG mode all the time and she is not excited by it. If I went 24/7 would I get tired of it or acclimated eventually. Probably.
Besides being a guy and dressing is like a guy's life with motorcycles, cars, planes, boats, tools, ruting and scratching, whatever. THEN totally transforming like a larve in to a butterfly and my spirits soar!
I LOVE THIS!
On Thursday I am going enfemme to the center of town for lunch and shopping. My stomach does a flip each time I think about it. It has been eight days since the last time. Too long.
So yes I love being a guy all the time except for when I transform myself and then I love being a woman.
I don't particularly enjoy being male. It's comfortable in the sense that I am used to it, but I have never felt like I fit any typical male personalities, and I do not enjoy all male company. I certainly do not express "masculinity" in a way that anyone would expect, I think. An example: a few years ago I was asked about the SuperBowl game, and I had not watched it, haven't been interested in spectator sports (except for F1 racing) since high school, and I had in fact spent that evening listening to Scottish poetry sung to the accompaniment of a harpsichord. Now I don't think any of those behaviours are inherently masculine or feminine, but society seems to have labelled them as such, and I'm not in line with the labelling.
Michaella
I dislike being in male mode, but it is a necessary action for practical reasons such as work. When I am in guy mode nobody would guess otherwise, a lifelong skill developed from self preservation, lol. I grew up in a very conservative home, and a very conservative(Southern Baptist) neighborhood. I love being and expressing my true fem self, it is who I feel inside.
Danielle
Lovely post darlin and thank you for being as frank in requard to your situation.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
I think a big problem is that many people have preconceived concepts of masculinity and femininity. I don't think boys should act like "typical men", and in the same vein I don't think girls should act like "typical women". I'm a sensitive, thoughtful person who knows how to read into people and understand others. I'm also a shy, and some would say cute person. But I think I'm still as male as any other man can get.
The only reason i like 'boy mode' is that it lets me get things done with a minimum of complications.
if I could 'go girl' all the time I would.
this does not mean i would not regularly pull on a pair of what i refer to as my (boy mode) 'crappy pants' and go out to do yard work, car maintenance, other hard dirty work, but i would be doing it in Gloria Vanderbilt 'crappy jeans' instead of Wal-Mart's mens jeans...
The perfect scenario would be teaching some of the trades to classes of women, a testosterone free environment would be better for learning, IMHO. I've met enough female engineers through the years- they can do quite well without sacrificing feminity, but it helps to have the support from co-workers and the company....
I absolutely LOVE crossdressing, but I also love my male side. If I had to choose, I'd actually choose my male side, but the good thing is, at least for now, I don't have to choose!
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