CD to TS-TG

[josee]

One doesn't become transsexual. One is born transsexual.
Crossdressing can help one uncover for themselves that they are transsexual - as it did for me. It gets harder and harder for me to switch back to "being a guy". For myself I have realized that that guy I have such a hard time going back to being was a complete fabrication of mine that I created to protect my inner being from the pain of being a girl but everyone else insisting that I was a boy.
I wear mostly female clothes when I am not at work (and even then it is just what I wear on the outside).
My hair is past shoulder length so I never have worn wigs even though I bought one early on). I often run errands without make-up or forms wearing women's jeans and a top and still get called ma'am sometimes, sometimes sir. If I am wearing forms it is almost always ma'am. Sometimes even when I am working out in public, dressed as a dude, I have been called ma'am. Usually when someone sees me from behind or a side view.

[mikiSJ]

But there are no cross-dressers who "become" transsexual since we are born that way.

I think the measure of truth in that statement is the number of MtF transitions that occur that turn out to be total disasters. Cutting the bits off and growing your boobs will not make you a woman if you aren't also a woman to begin with. I have no statistics to support my position but I think most of us know of someone, even if only by anecdote, that got so carried away with CDing (a total pink fog?) that it morphed into a false sense of being a woman. That individual may have the wherewithal to have the surgery as if on a lark. Then the remorse sets in and in some cases there is no resolution save suicide.

I like being a woman, sometimes. I have toyed with the idea of a MtF transition, but it never seemed to fit who I am - I am not a woman, except sometimes.

[becky77]

I don't know, i'm as confused now as I was 30 years ago. I'm more than just a crossdresser but do not see transition in my future. I just think of myself as Transgendered now. I identified with girls and girls toys etc before I ever realised I wanted to crossdress, so I don't think one leads to the other.

[Miranda-E]

I think the measure of truth in that statement is the number of MtF transitions that occur that turn out to be total disasters. Cutting the bits off and growing your boobs will not make you a woman if you aren't also a woman to begin with. I have no statistics to support my position but I think most of us know of someone, even if only by anecdote, that got so carried away with CDing (a total pink fog?) that it morphed into a false sense of being a woman. That individual may have the wherewithal to have the surgery as if on a lark. Then the remorse sets in and in some cases there is no resolution save suicide.

.

that number would be 1 known case.
That one case also has evidence that it was an attempt from the start to discredit the the system.

[Angela Campbell]

Sometimes is seems like a CD became a TS, but I think that is because it takes a while for someone to come to terms with what they truly are. It is difficult to finally admit to yourself that you are this different from most of the other people in the world, an outcast. It is easy to deny and tell yourself ...no this is a fetish, it is just sexual, or whatever. I do know some who are truly CD's and have no desire at all to be a woman. I spent years knowing I wanted to be a girl and at the same time trying to ignore it, hide it and tell myself it was not real. It wasn't until I fully dressed for the first time with makeup and wig that I finally accepted the fact that I am TS. I also had to accept the fact that I will most probably never be able to fully transition. I am ok with both realizations now but I see that the feminine part of me is beginning to merge into the male side and I fear that someday there will be no difference and I wonder what will come of that.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm more than just a crossdresser but do not see transition in my future. I just think of myself as Transgendered now.

Hi Becky, have you considered that you might be bi-gendered? There are some members on these forums that although they are not TS, have both genders within them. ReineD has written quite a lot about the experiences of her SO who is bi-gendered.

If you want to PM me, I would be interested to know why you say that you do not see transition in your future.

[Beverley Sims]

As Rhianna has said, bi gendered could be the answer.
I find it difficult to put labels on any one.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Transsexuals will tend to argue that one "is" transsexual, not one "becomes" transsexual.

Special hells are reserved for people like me that can't make up our minds, can't stay in one place, and argue in our heads a thousand times daily what gender we should be.

the first sentence true...altho transsexuals may grow up crossdressing to alleviate gender feelings, and often view themselves as crossdressers for some of their lives...

the second is not..generally speaking we are quite happy with people such as yourself that are happy with their gender identity!!! that's undeniably a good thing.

...

you either are ts or not, so pls don't worry that your crossdressing will turn you into something and trick you into beleiving something that isnt true....

if your crossdressing seems unsatisfactory to you, and more and more you want to meet people and talk to people as a woman, or if you start hating your time spent in male "mode" or become ashamed of your male body...

...that's something to take seriously..but that's not because you "turned into" anything, its because the real you is coming into the forefront

... and btw...NOT crossdressing will not stop it from coming to the forefront, it will only delay it and make it harder on you long term...

[missmars]

HRT might make you TS

[Maria S]

It seems a lot of TS know from an early age that they were born in the wrong body. People who CD either from young or later in life may wonder whether being a TS is in them but does not obviously show. Personally I CD a lot 30-40 hours per week. I do not believe I was born in the wrong body but do wonder if things like HRT and breast implants etc would make a great thing excellent, the icing on the cake, the lacquer on the car's paint work.

Maria

[Ezekiel]

HRT might make you TS

HRT does not make you TS. Many crossdressers went through HRT and they are not TS. HRT might be sought to further enhance ones capability of passing / feminization. Together with this facial feminization surgery can also be sought.

[Angie G]

I think the TS-TG were already there hun and the cd'ing made it come out. If it work for you coming out well you go girl.
Angie

[Ezekiel]

Just a thought, how many TS have fully transitioned for:

A - They fully identify as women because deep inside them its like this, no matter how society will treat them, no matter the roles they will be given.
or
B - Because they think that identifying as women equals to dress like the usual women does, being treated like women and overall a change in role in the eyes of society, but deep inside they are not the same as group A, as they would not present the common gender dysphoria issues, however they lead happy lifes too.

The B group could be a result of crossdressers taking it to a whole new level. Remember that society enforces gender based roles very strongly, roles and ways of living, and some might really get caught in this, and thus triggering the formation of a transsexual that is truly an evolved form of crossdresser. Its an hypothesis, don't flame me please, but I don't think all TS transition for the same reasons.

[Lorenqt]

Crossdressing won't cause anyone to become transgender. In my own personal experience, crossdressing simply opened my mind to the realization that I am a girl.

[Rianna Humble]

You are right that on the surface, transsexuals may appear to transition for a variety of reasons. However, in my experience there is only one underlying reason why any transsexual undertakes the hellish journey that is transition - that is because we can no longer live with the disconnect between our gender and our assigned role in life.

Over and over again, I hear words to the effect of "I could no longer go on living the sham, death would have been preferable".

There is nothing glamorous about being born with the wrong body and there is nothing glamorous about transition.

At first glance it looks like your second group describes cross-dressers caught up in what they often term "pink fog". Such people, if they transition, normally go outside the medically accepted process for transition and can often be heard to rail against the so-called gatekeepers. These pseudo transitions almost inevitably end badly because the person is no longer living in their true gender.

If someone never suffers from Gender Dysphoria, then in my not so humble opinion they are not transsexual.

There is a small(?) number of people who do indeed have two gender identities and whilst for the vast majority of the time they are quite fulfilled by living as their natal sex they do periodically need to express the opposite gender role. These people, however, are not transsexual.

There is no such thing as "the formation of a transsexual that is truly an evolved form of crossdresser". Transsexuality is a physical condition that develops before birth.

[Ezekiel]

Well Rianna, when I said that a crossdresser became a transsexual its a simplified terminology I was using to refer to the fact that he or she undergone SRS (be transman or transwoman), thats why I made two groups: Group A and Group B to differentiate the causes. Never heard of the pink fog, but if you say that the second group I mentioned is pretty much that, I more or less see what it means.

This thought came to me when I had a good read about the subject, and seeing people that from the very first parts of their life they wish transition, yet others take years and years, and usually do crossdressing in between, that is why I am a bit confused on this issue, why theres people that has it clear from the beginning, yet others need a lot of time to realize this?

I myself have it very clear, and although I will seek HRT and FFS, I am not and will never be TS, however as I stated some people have a lot of confusion about this for most part of their lifes, could it be that in the end, they balance out things and say "Well, I think I prefer to live as female, I feel way better" can't this be true also? I think theres people like this too.

[Lorileah]

I myself have it very clear, and although I will seek HRT and FFS, I am not and will never be TS,

Naught for nothing here but...huh? So you see all this as body modification like piercings or tattoos or sub-dermal implants? I guess I don't see your definition of TS.

[Ericaxd]

I first remember wishing I was a girl at about 5 or 6 years old. I was an adult before I learned that transitioning was at all possible, and just lived with being male. Like others, I now have far too many responsibilities both professionally and more importantly personally to ever consider even starting the process. Nor do I think I am truly TS. I WISH I were a woman, but don't believe I was born in the wrong body.
I subscribe to something a read a long time ago--I think it was in Jan Morris's book Conundrum describing her own path to transition, and that is that we all fall somewhere along a sexual continuum, that in the case of our group, creating a dichotomy between CD and TS is an artificial construct, and I think you can see that in this thread. Some are fully comfortable being men who like to dress, others see dressing as an expression of an inner feminine self, others MUST dress, others still are dressing as women because despite their genitals they are women. I personally fall somewhere short of TS, but am well beyond being the happy heterosexual cross dresser.

[Ezekiel]

Naught for nothing here but...huh? So you see all this as body modification like piercings or tattoos or sub-dermal implants? I guess I don't see your definition of TS.

No, of course not, in no way it is. Its expensive, it takes years, it takes suffering. Pretty aware of it all. I am not transsexual because first I don't feel like one, and second because I won't go through SRS or identity change.

[Rianna Humble]

There can be a number of reasons why some people (such as me) transition in later life. To give you a few of mine:

My earliest clear memories of anything are of a dream every night for a fortnight about age 7ish when I was watching my wedding (idealised as all young girls of that age) although I never saw who the groom would be. I did not know how to explain it to my parents so I never did. 50 years ago there just wasn't the information about Gender Dysphoria or abut transsexuality, so I felt isolated. If there was a god, they were not interested in my nightly tears as I wished I could wake up as the girl I knew I was inside.

Fast forward a few years, I heard about Christine Jorgensen but that only served to show me that unless you were rich, there was no point dwelling on being the wrong sex because the operation cost more than my parents earned in a number of years. So fulfilment was out of the question via that route. Still didn't have the words to explain anything to my parents.

In my adolescence, I got caught up in a religious movement that conflated sexuality and gender and taught that either was just a case of "making the choice not to sin". Given my prior experience with asking god to help me become whole, I found it easy to be seduced by that fallacy.

I finally escaped that influence, but still had no words to talk to anyone about it, so I more or less got on with trying to emulate the men I saw around me even though I didn't understand very much of why they did what they did.

Fast forward again to my forties, the only stuff I ever found on the Net about transsexuals was on porn sites and I knew I could never succeed in that industry. By this time, I had learnt that I couldn't just be friends with other women and I couldn't relate to the men, so almost the only "friendships" I had seemed to be where I could be useful to someone.

Come to the last few years, I was finding it harder and harder to go on living. I was failing in my role as a local representative, I was not doing well at work, I couldn't sleep more than about 30 min a night and finally came to the conclusion that the only solution was to end this life. I actively planned about 4 different ways to kill myself, but there was a small spark within me that refused to give up so I decided to "shame" myself out of needing to be a woman by doing something about it.

Instead of shaming myself, I realised that I was at last beginning to express my true self for the first time ever in my life. Even then I didn't "want" to be transsexual and I certainly did not "want" to transition.

When I ran out of excuses, I was able to say truthfully to my doctor

I know I will never be a beautiful woman, but I would rather end my days as an ugly woman than spend one more hour as the man I have never been

[Ezekiel]

I see it must have been hell for you Rianna. All I can say is that I'm very happy for you, that in the end there was a light. Well I'd like to clear that my intention is not to offend, but to gather information and trying to understand others arround me.

[Dana L]

I don't think CDing causes TS, rather many TS find CDing as an outlet. Myself I feel as if I should have been born a woman. I have fought with this as long as I can remember. If I had only grew to 5'8" or so and been slight of frame, I probobly wouldn't have fought it. But now in my forties I'm seeing that it dosen't matter how I look I'm still that woman on the inside. CDing gives that woman in me some time to be free. Someday if I stop careing about everyone else I could easily see me transitioning to that woman in me. So what if I'm 6'2" and 180!

[Julogden]

Transsexuals will tend to argue that one "is" transsexual, not one "becomes" transsexual.

Special hells are reserved for people like me that can't make up our minds, can't stay in one place, and argue in our heads a thousand times daily what gender we should be.

I couldn't agree more, Nathalie, well stated. I'm in that same place.

Carol

[ReineD]

There is a small(?) number of people who do indeed have two gender identities and whilst for the vast majority of the time they are quite fulfilled by living as their natal sex they do periodically need to express the opposite gender role. These people, however, are not transsexual.

Sorry for being so late in seeing this thread, but you mentioned me and my SO earlier. It is my understanding from my SO (although she uses the term "dual-gender"), that it is not a question of toggling the feminine gender switch on and off and reverting to a default male gender when not dressed. And as you mention, she is also not TS. But, my SO is the same person, with the same internal gendered feelings or ID, no matter how s/he dresses. It's just that sometimes she feels more feminine and at other times s/he feels more masculine. I admit that I feel more feminine at times than at other times too, although in my case I know that I'm most definitely on the female end of the gender binary.

So it's rather a question of having an elastic gender, if you will, for those who are outside the gender binary, which is a different state of being than strictly a male or a female. This is why my SO uses the term "dual", which means "both at the same time". I gather that many of the members in this forum who prefer to identify themselves as "TG" rather than "TS" or "CD" feel similarly.

Admittedly, this is a difficult concept to embrace because all of us only see binary gender around us, from birth. We only see the outward expression of either males or females. And so it can be confusing if a male (or a female in the case of non-binary F2Ms) departs from a strictly male gender ID especially if the departure involves periods of euphoria over a feminine expression,. This can lead some birth males to believe they might be TS. I'm sure that my SO has questioned this also in the past, before settling into defining for herself of a state of being that is difficult to define and understand.

It makes using specific pronouns difficult. lol

[DaniG]

No, of course not, in no way it is. Its expensive, it takes years, it takes suffering. Pretty aware of it all. I am not transsexual because first I don't feel like one, and second because I won't go through SRS or identity change.

You don't have to do either of those things to qualify as TS. Many TS live without SRS.

Why do you say you don't feel like one? You want HRS and FFS though to live more like a woman? I'm having trouble understanding how you can find a distinction.