Deep thoughts

[Maria 60]

Last night I finally had a few hours to dress, my wife had bought me a red dress for X-mas and I was dying to try it on. This morning I woke up and was setting on the edge of my bed for a few moments and just staring in the air, my wife turned to me and asked me what I was in such deep thought about, I told her nothing and she wanted to know. I told her I really enjoyed my Maria time last night and I was thinking that I won't have a chance again for another few weeks and that upsets me a little. I don't ask for much just a few hours. She said are you kidding me instead of thinking about your health or your bills or anything else that's what your thinking about. I told her it's hard to except when you loving doing something so much and you have to wait or don't know when the next time will be is a little hard. She said Maria is far more complicated then we think. I told her if only she knew. Anybody else have those deep thoughts and don't realize your just staring in the air about your crossdressing and there are much more important things you should be thinking about?

[Kate Simmons]

Once I really began my journey of self discovery, I realized that the CDing was merely the tip of the iceberg. That was the first day of the rest of my life.

[Barbara Ella]

At this point in my life, we have minimized really important things, and now just have a few extremely important things. That does leave me with a lot of time to myself. That does involve worrying about what crossdressing has brought to my/our life, and the rabbit hole that is still ahead. How does my wife deal with transgenderism. How will she react to a transsexual discussion. Why do I feel the way i do when i cant, and when I can dress. What can i do at my age, what can I not even consider at my age. how does 42 years of marriage impact it.

So yes the thoughts are about crossdressing, but they are much more involved, and equally important, and at times actually move into the extremely important topics section. There is just so much more to this that I, and a lot of us, are trying to work into our life.

Barbara

[GaleWarning]

To me, crossdressing is a hobby, not a lifestyle.
I control it, it does not control me.
To let it get out of control is to make one's life complicated.
Rant over.

[Maria 60]

I have to ask, sorry for lowering the tone but am I the only one who glanced at the thread title and thought it said "DeepThroat"?? Lol

That's funny, feels good to laugh, Thanks

[Adrienna]

Maria, I completely uderstand where you're coming from. I have constant thoughts running thru my head about my other self. Sometimes good and sometimes I feel slightly displaced. But, I do know that if I do not allow this other part of me live I will find it hard to lead a better life. Gotta do what comes very, "Natural" and that is what we all do here in this forum...no excuses and no apologies. Just do the best that you can and try so hard to be content with yourself and what you have. Please be well, hugs!

[sissystephanie]

I have been crossdressing for so long I hardly even think about it anymore. My late wife of course knew that I was a CD, and expected me to dress when I felt like it! I love wearing feminine clothes and dress enfemme now more often that I dress in drab! However, I still don't dress around my children! They know that I am a CD, but they don't want to see me that way, so they don't! Adrienna said it very well!!

[~Joanne~]

I have to ask, sorry for lowering the tone but am I the only one who glanced at the thread title and thought it said "DeepThroat"?? Lol

I won't even lie, at a glance that's what I thought it said too lol


On Topic, I have my moments where I will drift off into a daze, usually at work, thinking about outfits and such I am trying to put together. I wouldn't say it controls me at all, just gives me something to think about while my co-workers are talking about this, that, whatnot, and the other.

I wish you girls luck who don't seem to have enough time to dress. I don't really know how hard that this but I can imagine.

[Janelle_C]

Maria I don't think are SO in general now what its like to try and suppress part of who you are. I suppressed it for over thirty years, now with the support of my wife I don't have to any more. When I stopped suppressing because of work, family I did find CDing was just the tip of the iceberg.
Hugs Janelle

[MeganHenry]

Great thread by the way...occasionally I'll day dream like that about my Megan time. On another note when I first read the title to this post I thought of Saturday Night Live "deep thoughts by jack handy"

[AimeeG]

I have to ask, sorry for lowering the tone but am I the only one who glanced at the thread title and thought it said "DeepThroat"?? Lol

Joined the club...I was thinking Jack Handy.

[Valerie Nova]

I have been crossdressing for so long I hardly even think about it anymore. My late wife of course knew that I was a CD, and expected me to dress when I felt like it! I love wearing feminine clothes and dress enfemme now more often that I dress in drab! However, I still don't dress around my children! They know that I am a CD, but they don't want to see me that way, so they don't! Adrienna said it very well!!

This sort of thing I think is impossible for me. I still look down on other CDers, as being kind of pathetic, if I analyze my feelings honestly. I think it came from the way I was raised, and I'm not sure if I can ever change that. It's 100% emotional, and all the logic in the world can't change the way a person honestly feels. But it was always drilled into us that a girl is something that a boy NEVER wants to be implied he has characteristics of. A lot of it is subtle, but it's ubiquitous. It may be too late for me to ever be comfortable that way, but I know things are changing.

Of course, maybe I just need to live somewhere for a while where this sort of thing is accepted.

[Beverley Sims]

I rarely share deep thinking thoughts with my wife. It would only worry her unnecessarily and you do not need to shove CD under her nose all the time if she is accepting or not.
It is not being deceitful or telling lies, and it is only in your wandering mind anyway.

[Lady Catherine]

When I get lost in thoughts of crossdressing, it is so I DON'T have to think of things like paying the bills and such. It is an escape for me at that moment in time.

[SandraInHose]

I rarely share deep thinking thoughts with my wife. It would only worry her unnecessarily and you do not need to shove CD under her nose all the time if she is accepting or not.
It is not being deceitful or telling lies, and it is only in your wandering mind anyway.

My sentiments exactly. Shoot, if I told my wife one-tenth of my 'deep thoughts' I'd have been divorced a long time ago.

[Annette Anderson]

When i get more toward the end of my life,I will not be crying over not having enough time to pay bill's,taxes,home morgage,car payment,credit cards,etc...yeah,they can keep the car because i like how my high heels click on the pavement.Ok to be serious now,I have met all kinds of cd's in my life,from younger kids that say "hey,its just fun" and have no deep thoughts at all about it,to cd's who would stare at their dress or shoes for hours asking themselves "why do i do this".I think i am somewhere in between,Yes i sometimes find it hard to keep this balancing act going because its a double whammy for me,the more demands life puts on me ,the more i want to just blow it off and get dolled up and go out and have a few drink's,and then a few more drinks.Of course i don't. I know i have responsibilities.I guess i am lucky because most of the time i am content with just the day dream if nothing else

[AmyGaleRT]

I just had a kind of "deep thought" while reading a posting from Anne over on one of her picture threads:

[...] being a girl actually gives me the strength to overcome the worry and stress of recent events. It's incredible to me that since I decided to embrace my femininity that I can overcome so much more and I'm much more emotionally sound.

This is the sort of thing I'm working towards, and that I believe many of us are working towards.

See, there's strength in femininity, and wisdom and intuition as well, though of a different character than we're "used" to. And, while there can be greater emotion, there can also be greater serenity and stability. I've said before that I feel that I have a soul that's part-female, and I'm trying to embrace these qualities in her, even as I express her more openly in my life by donning her clothes and jewelry and makeup from time to time. And having her "nearer the surface" in this way makes it easier to call on these qualities. Ultimately, I feel this can make me a better man...and a better woman.

Is this making any sense here, or do I sound like I've been taking one too many hits of a substance that's now legal here in Colorado?

- Amy

[sandra-leigh]

She said are you kidding me instead of thinking about your health or your bills or anything else that's what your thinking about.

So tomorrow morning set your alarm for (say) 4 A.M. When she asks you why you are getting up so early, say you need to get an early start on worrying about your bills. And cancel any New Year's celebrations: you need the time to fret about your health. Don't shower tomorrow or the next days until it becomes a health menace; and don't watch TV with her: worrying about your bills and your health is the most important thing you can be doing all of your waking moments.

[April_Ligeia]

This type of conversation is why sometimes when asked what I'm thinking, I answer with the stereotypical male response, "Nothing." And then I change the subject.

[Ms. Laura]

I totally thought Jack Handy as well!

You know, I'm right there with you. I'm in the 4-8 week between sessions boat and knowing that you're in lock down is hard on you. The more I suppress, the worse it gets!

I think many women just can't really get their head around the power of the impulse. How could you really, if you don't have it. Mine sort of looks on with a kind of humorous, "Oh, you're crazy" attitude, but she's beginning the grasp the depth of it.

I make time to contemplate those other things too, but most of them have a solution while CDing and it's challenges haven't presented a solution for me yet. Maybe that's why we stare into space as opposed to staring into space about how to replace the garage door opener. (by solution, I mean finding a happy place)