Meeting a lady tomorrow for cofee (need advice!!!)

[PrettyFlowingGown]

I think i've done wrong thing, and something i'd never dream of doing. Meeting a girl for a cofee, thats involved through work. A guy at work told me 2 weeks ago, his sisters lonely, 37 and is looking for a guy. I've been talking to her on facebook and she seems really nice, but the prob is, is that if something works out between us shes going to find out about my dressing, and that she could say or leak info to her brother which could spread through work. i've always told myself, if i ever get involved with a girl, not to get one involved through work or a relative of a work collegue.
another thing is, i have'nt been with a female sexually in about 7 years. i was deeply hurt by a girl in 2004, and in the last few years i've only been with (sexually) a cuppla guys and cd's. I'm very nervous about this whole situation, and whether i'm doing right or wrong thing. any advice here?

[Kate Simmons]

It's just having coffee together, right? Enjoy yourself my friend.

[Rogina B]

Having a coffee or a drink together is just that. If you truly enjoyed the time then say so,if not,say nothing.It takes time to decide on whether a relationship is worth starting,and that applies to both parties...

[cdsherriejo]

Like Kate said, it's just coffee. Enjoy it, and see where it goes. You can worry about all that other stuff as it happens. NONE of it will happen tomorrow. Let us know how it goes? :-)

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Just have fun. Its only coffee. If and when the time comes then worry about it. But for now, just have fun!

[Sandra1746]

It is only coffee, as many have already noted, so unless you are considering something else don't get too "wound up" by this meeting. If things develop over time then you may have some decisions to make but for now, enjoy the coffee.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

[Gillian Gigs]

Relax, you don't have to figure out the names of your 2.4 kids on the first meeting. Go for coffee and enjoy yourself, see where it could go to from there. Life is about crossing one bridge at a time, stop worrying about something so far away it ruins the moment before you.

[Marguarite]

Like everyone's said it's just coffee. The best advice I'l give you though, is to just be a good listener. There are a lot of things to learn by directing the conversation, but letting her do most of the talking. It's also important to find how compatable she may before you. Doing wrong is not taking every chance for happiness, GOOD LUCK, HUN

[Raychel]

Go, Relax and have fun, Just like everyone said, If something connects, You will know when the time is right and when it is safe to tell her.

[Caroline C]

I feel the same as you do. Meeting someone through work and if it goes bad the secret is out. Go for coffee but take it slow. During a conversation bring up some news you heard about whatever and CD'ing and judge her reaction. I didn't meet my last GF through work but she would say I can't wait to see you in this. Unfortunately there's more to a relationship than just clothes and the bedroom but you got to try.

OK, not a great example ,don't want to scare you. But she is still a friend and never told the secret.

[YorkshireRose]

Yep a resounding response for you here. Enjoy the coffee, relax and just enjoy each others company. If you go in there worrying it is not going to be the enjoyable encounter it should be and she will pick up on it. have fun!

[AllieSF]

Great advice so far. Mine is, don't wear a flowing gown! Good luck and have fun.

[MsJanessa]

just enjoy the date and the coffee---if things get more serious, that would be the time to tell her---you shouldn't do it on the first date

[Erica Marie]

I guess all I can do is repeat what all the other girls said. Its just coffee between friends. Go out, have fun and make the best of it. If nothing else maybe one day you two will be best of friends even if it doesnt turn into a relationship. Trust me you can never have enough friends. Take it slow. Best wishes and have fun.

[LadyPilot]

Enjoy the meeting and coffee. If it is meant to be it is meant to be. You deserve to be happy and you have the full control of your happiness. You know the ole saying "don't keep your honey where you make your money", if this is a concern then you have already drawn conclusions. Enjoy the moment! LP

[docrobbysherry]

Try to pretend you're just meeting a friend for coffee! If you're lucky, that's what she may become.

Worrying about telling her on the alter that u dress is NOT realistic or healthy! Go meet her, and be in the minute while you're there. Stop any and all thots about your CDing before they start!

U deserve a real life, PFL! Not just a secret one!

[rachel_rachel]

Having a drink with another woman doesn't always lead to sex.... I have met the most wonderful lady over facebook myself.. We talk all the time, yet i'm a happily married man with 4 children (one of whom is 8 weeks old) She lives about 2 hours away so it's not like we'd sneak around and she has 5 kids herself, (her eldest being 18) and is a single mother. I also consider this lady to be my best friend.

As i said, just because she has (this) and you have (that) doesn't mean you can't have friends of the opposite sex.

[SandraInHose]

As others have said, just relax. You've got that cart WAY ahead of the horse!

I know whereof I speak. I do the same thing myself...always pondering the what-if's until I lay awake at night re-thinking them. And it's amazing how few of those scenarios ever get close to what I imagine.

Save your nerves, and enjoy it for what it is...coffee and conversation. But keep us posted with all the details! LOL

[Beverley Sims]

Go for it you are not likely to confide in her until you establish a partnership.
Then go slowly, any rumors that come up later will remain rumors

[Anita_2]

Well, it's just coffee. Enjoy it, and see where it goes. Later you must go step by step and you can see reaction after every step if it is bad reaction you can stop. From my expirience best is to tell her first that you like stockings and tights with explanation that it is your women fetish if she will accept it - rest is matter oftime.

[PrettyFlowingGown]

Thankyou all. apreciate it very much. just hope she dont question my shaven legs. lol

[Angela Campbell]

Why would she see your legs? You are going to meet for coffee! A real relationship doesn't start with a cup and a jump into bed. You need to make friends first and keep intimate things private until you know each other better and that takes time.

[RachelDenise]

Hope that both the coffee and company is good. That's what I'd do.

[kimdl93]

Get to know her well, first, before you consider telling her anything. Then, if the relationship appears to have some possibilities, you will need to be honest. Leading up to that,make it a habit of being open to her thoughts and free with sharing other personal things, even if they are slightly embarrassing.

Of course, there's a possible risk but life about understanding and managing risk, not avoiding it.

[Genifer Teal]

Work is not the only place to meet women. Enjoy the coffee and company. In the future it is probably best not to have a connection back to work. It is good that if things go well and a relationship ensues, you would want to tell her all about yourself. Only you know what impact that might have if work found out. How important is your job to you?