I'd really like to get out in public and feel what it is like. So I thought I'd ask other girls what it is like taking that very first but very big step. My thought would be to get out in the city of Las Vegas. Any tips? Where would any of you recommend? And when you did go out did you go alone or did you go with someone else? I'm sort of thinking that getting out with someone and not alone might make a person feel safer and less vulnerable.
Initial thoughts!
I think I am definitely going to go out with a friend if I ever truly go out. Driving while dressed is fun and liberating, and doesn't need someone to go with.
Hi Karli. I can't give you any advice on Vegas - but a number of members have been there, so perhaps they'll soon respond. I can tell you that my first steps out were not all that big. I tried the usual things, underdressing, then wearing a bra and forms under a jacket, then added a little makeup and wore heels with a mix of male and female. But I didn't really feel that it was doing it for me.
Then one day, I had my lawn sprinkler going in my front yard. I was fully dressed and made up, but without a wig. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to change back to drab just to move a sprinkler. So, I summonned up my resolve and stepped out the front door. As it happened, no one seems to have seen me, but just breaking that barrier was a huge step for me. The next day, I came out to my hair dresser, bought a new wig and had my en femme meal at a restaurant. I think its often like that - once you've broken the barrier, you no longer feel confined.
Las Vegas is Halloween all the time.
Nobody cares. You can even have a friendly chat with the prostitutes as they hand out their literature.
Nothing isconsidered offensive unless it is drunkenness and fighting.
A theme park for adults.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
For me the first time out was probably one of the most frightening and exhilarating things I have ever done. Like the first time on a rollercoaster. You are sure you are going to die or at least have something awful happen, and at the same time have the most fun you ever had. It gets a little easier everytime I do it.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
Going out with a friend or your SO is ideal. Really takes the heat off. My first time was alone and in a crowed shipping mall. Just wondered about. I was too busy looking for finger pointing and laughing that never happened. My best advice is to walk like you belong there. Don't look over your shoulder. Men are blind and will not notice. Women will if they choose to look at you. No one really cares.
If you go out in Vegas, the strip and Fremont Street are totally safe and you will not set off alarms.
You are going to be nervous, just manage it, don't try conquer it. Dress venue appropriate.
have fun
Just remember what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.The first time I went out in plain view in public, I was on my way to a Renaissance TG Org meeting.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
My first time out dressed was just a solo trip to Target for some cosmetics. Since nobody seemed to notice or care, it built up my confidence to where I was soon going out all the time. Within a couple of weeks, I was going EVERYWHERE as a woman and now live en femme pretty much full-time. The first time out is the hardest, and I think it can make or break your confidence depending on your experience.
Straight, full-time crossdresser. I've always known this was something that I wanted/needed to do but suppressed it while I was married. Now that I'm going through a divorce it's time to go all out!
My first time out I went driving alone at night. You'd be surprised by the number of people on the roads at night. I was in full makeup, blond wig and white dress. A carload of young guys were alongside me. I did not get any reaction, positive or negative, which was just fine with me. The next time, while stopped at a red light, a police officer in a patrol car pulled alongside me. He glanced over. I was dressed en femme with full makeup. No recognition again. If I go for a drive now, I do make an effort to get out and walk around. I make stops at the post office to mail a letter or drop off library books or stroll through a safe residential neighborhood. The only recommendation I do have for walking in the evening is to check the noise factor of any heels. I'm not too paranoid, but, high heels do make a racket on concrete. Given my stature, etc, I do not pass at all, and, I avoid contact with humans. I dress for stress relief. I would not want my boat tipped over by bias guys.
My first time out dressed was to a CD group dinner. I dressed, drove 60 miles to a different city that I didn't know well, and then sat in my car a block from the restaurant and went "oh, my gosh, I'm going to do this!"
The first person who saw me dressed was the parking valet. He said "good evening ma'am" and handed me the ticket. The second person who saw me was the matre d' and, since there was a large CD group expected, he took me directly to our table. After that it was a wonderful evening.
Since then I've been out often in both TG and mainstream situations. I've gone to museums, fairs, renfairs, movies, plays, concerts, dinners, shopping, etc. I've sat in a restaurant surrounded by children and teenagers. I've been "made" but oddly it doesn't bother me all that much. I figure it gives someone a bit of amusement and an interesting story to tell.
It's funny how the things we fear turn out to be nothing. I honestly fear having my lipstick bleed more than I fear being made by a stranger!
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
Hello Karli and Happy New Year to you! If you have an SO or a female friend to go out with that would be ideal. I don't know exactly where you are (Southern USA is pretty vast) but there are some places in the South that are fairly friendly like my hometown of New Orleans. Even major cities in Texas, Florida and several other states have some welcoming areas.
If you want to travel, I can highly recommend both Las Vegas as well as most any of the major cities in California. I have spent many long weekends en femme in Las Vegas, San Francisco, Los Angeles and San Diego with no problems or issues. I would rank them as San Francisco first, Las Vegas second and Los Angeles third.
Best wishes to you for the New Year.
My first time out was while I was travelling in the DC area. I went alone to a Kohls and did what I could to blend in. Having someone friendly along would have been great, but it was OK by myself. The nerves were definitely there, and since I didn't have to talk to anyone it took some of the pressure off. It really did get easier the more I did it, but that first step is a big one. I'd say the best place for you to do it is wherever you'd feel most comfortable. Every big city has some friendly places and most stores really just want your money. If that means Vegas for you, make it Vegas. Whatever you do just put a smile on your face and have fun.
Good luck!
-Bree
I haven't experienced Vegas either way, but I would urge you to keep safety in mind wherever you go. Cities can be tricky places for ladies alone, especially if you'll be walking outside at night. If at all possible, please try to have some company while you're out in such a place. Keep your eyes open, but enjoy.
Miriam
Karli.... a member for over 5 years and only 27 posts... girl you really do take it slow. Which is fine as each of us are just a little different from the next. I would take baby steps and go from there.
I prefer being a daywalker as there are too many things that can go 'bump' in the dark. But the nightwalkers find it easier to hide in the shadows... so it's really up to you. First find an area that you feel comfortable and know. Then go from there.
Hope this helps.....
Renne.....
Karli Vegas is a great place to start out. You can go out day or night dressed. Bring a friend if you like for moral support. Casual is best during the day and at night venue appropriate unless you want extra attention. Just be warned, you'll have a blast there!
I am going to echo the thoughts about going to Vegas. It is suppose to be about fun and there is an abundance of it there. But for your first time, I would keep that thought. It is hard to keep your mind from racing that first time out (and the second, and the third....). So think about something you would really like to do instead of just some place to call the first. Then if you are doing something you enjoy, it becomes easier to relax and then you enjoy it twice as much.
Contact Amy at Just You/Glamour Boutique if you want to do Vegas but are afraid of being out alone. She charges but does groups quite often. Lovely Gal. If you want better makeup, she also does that very well.
Edy
The biggest road block to going out is you! Once you get past your own fears and just take the step, its easy and exciting, beyond exciting. My first week dressing fully, I went out in 3 different cities. I started by going to gay bars that had drag shows and had no problems. Since then I have gone shopping en femme, to resturaunts, to casinos and never had a problem. You will get a snicker or two here and there, maybe a stare, but unless your in your home town, nobody really knows you. It is easier to go with someone the first time. I recomend using the meeting thread on here to find girls in your area or wherever your planning to go to and setting up a meeting at a public location. Good luck and enjoy.
Thank you for the feedback. It's a big step so that's why I was wanting to know what it was like for others. I find the thought of even walking from say a parking lot to a bar a bit intimidating which is why I was wondering if having someone with you might make it easier. Also if you are in a bar I feel it might be a bit scary to be alone. Those who have done this, is this about right that first time? I'm sure if you have experience it is routine. But what about a first time out. How do you take that step?
When you are out there think like a woman. Walk tall and straight. Don't creep about looking guilty. If someone calls out "Hey look at that bloke in a skirt!" Ignore it you are a woman. A woman would not look round. Think where a woman would and would not go alone. In UK you don't see many women going into a pub on their own.
Love Maria
Karli, I would not recommend going to a bar, alone. Here's why: think like a guy. What do you do when you see any woman enter a bar? You look. Scrutiny will be higher. Drunk men will look even longer. If you are in a gay bar, you may get hit on. If you are up for a drink or dinner, go to a small bistro. It won't be a pick up place. I highly recommend going to a shopping mall for your first outing alone. It is easier to blend there, if you care about that.Originally Posted by Karli
Good luck
Spot on! (Except for "pub" and "bloke")
Thanks for the encouragement. I was wondering if you thought a girl out having dinner alone might seem unusual or off. That's a bit why I thought a bar that is accepting might be the way to get out that first time.
Hey Karli,
If you have a friend to go with, I would recommend you go out with them. I also recommend going out like most women 9appropriate as to age and activity) and not dressed in a way that gets too much attention. I found darkness can be your friend, but be careful where you go, especially if you go out alone. As your comfort level and confidence builds, take it where you want to. If you go to bars, especially alone, expect to get attention. And unless you are blessed with great feminine features, you will probably not have a great experience in a bar alone, unless it is CD friendly.
This is the truth! My first time out (not counting support group) should have been a disaster. I got spotted before I got to the store, my walk was terrible, my makeup wasn't too good. But, you know what? No one bothered me. When things don't go perfectly and you still come out alright, it gives you alot of courage.
One thing... When you get to where you're going, check your look and get out of the car right away. (S)he who hesitates is lost! We want to read all about your outing as soon as we can. Remember, we are all with you!
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