Contacting others on this forum...

[Lacy PJs]

[SIZE="4"]From time to time, I'll see a picture or read about something that makes me feel like I want to ask the poster more about their post... but I don't. Have you ever felt that way?

Perhaps it is a state of mind but I can't bring myself to contact another member because I don't want to be seen as being forward. I mean, how do you say to another guy, "Hey, I like your strappy heels. Where did you get them?" without feeling uncomfortable doing it? Maybe with time as I do look back at the way I feel now and the way I felt when I joined this forum; I have changed, but I'm not ready to take that leap yet.

It's one thing to have a "guy bond" like sitting around and talking about football or cars or other "guy things," but it still seems extremely unusual to talk about "girl things" with other guys even if they are like-minded.

Roosevelt said that the greatest thing we have to fear is fear itself. I can relate. Until I get over this fear of being misunderstood, I will live with that same fear. To those of you who have moved past that fear, more power to you...

Anyone else in the same boat/feel the same way? Why?

Lacy PJs[/SIZE]

[Karren H]

I chat with members here with PMs....... via email... and on face book every day... we talk about anything from hockey to where did you get your corset to how did you get your breasts to do that..... lol. not an issue really..

[MissTee]

Not an issue for me. It's the whole kindred spirit thing.

[Jenniferathome]

You're not trying to pick them up,just get info on shoes or a dress. It's just a question, not a date. Relax. Ask away, that's how anyone can learn.

[Angela Campbell]

I look at it more like two girls chatting.......

[Kate Simmons]

Don't have that problem at all Hon. In fact my CD friends and I can talk about sports or cars in one breath and nail polish or lingerie in the next. It's all comfort level I guess.

[STACY B]

Maybe just talk about other things to start an then bring up the girl stuff when you feel like it ?

Me I feel Bad if I don't ask ,,, I am just like that I guess ... So don't be afraid ask away ,, Its our favorite subject why else would we be here ?
If we wanted to talk about Football we would be on the Football site ,,,lol,,,,

[AllieSF]

I am with the others. Just politely, and not apologetically, ask what you want to know, compliment when appropriate and wait for the response. If they react negatively, they are probably very sensitive or maybe just not the type of person you want to communicate with. We are all humans so just treat us that way. Good luck.

[Angela Campbell]

Maybe just talk about other things to start an then bring up the girl stuff when you feel like it ?

Me I feel Bad if I don't ask ,,, I am just like that I guess ... So don't be afraid ask away ,, Its our favorite subject why else would we be here ?
If we wanted to talk about Football we would be on the Football site ,,,lol,,,,

OMG....! I thought this was a football site. All the talk about pads and stuff. I thought I finally found a football site I could relate to.

[Barbra P]

I frequently PM other members with questions and comments and occasionally leave a visitor message on their profile. I like to hear from other members and I have several ongoing conversations with other members and have met a few of them. But I notice that you joined almost six years ago (Mar. 2006) and yet you only have 143 posts and here I feel sort of bad that I only have 862 posts since May, 2011. Take a more active part on the forum and you will get to know some of the regulars and soon you should be trading replies, PMs, and maybe even Emails. But you do have to let your guard down a bit, on here you are not one of the guys, you are one of the girls and as such we talk about strappy heels, bras (and boobs), panties, hosiery, dresses, makeup, shaving our legs, etc.

You joined the forum so I’m assuming you have feminine feelings, I think you will enjoy life more when you allow yourself to express those feelings – enjoy being a girl when you feel like being a girl.

[ArleneRaquel]

Lacy,
I PM or leave visitor messages to many members, ususually complimenting them on their looks, opinions, clothing, legs, and more. I have done so thousands of times and I've had no complaints, YET ! HUGZ!

[Gaby2]

[SIZE="4"]
... I mean, how do you say to another guy, "Hey, I like your strappy heels. Where did you get them?" without feeling uncomfortable doing it?

... Anyone else in the same boat/feel the same way? Why?

Lacy PJs[/SIZE]

We're all in the same boat, Lacy!
And some (many?) of us have at some stage felt the same way as you.
But it's quite easy really...
Simply say: "Hey, I like your strappy heels!" and/or "Where did you get them?"
And not only once but whenever you feel like it.
You'll feel comfortable in no time!
Gaby

[MsJanessa]

no sorry I don't feel the same wayand never have had a problem with contacting other CDs over the net--not much of an issue for me--although when I first starting meeting other CD's in person, I felf very nervous--feeling went away as I met more and more people--feel free to contact me if you want---

[Eryn]

From time to time, I'll see a picture or read about something that makes me feel like I want to ask the poster more about their post... but I don't. Have you ever felt that way?

Perhaps it is a state of mind but I can't bring myself to contact another member because I don't want to be seen as being forward. I mean, how do you say to another guy, "Hey, I like your strappy heels. Where did you get them?" without feeling uncomfortable doing it?...

First of all, you're not talking to another guy. You're talking to me, Eryn, a CDer who understands your feelings better than any of the muggle guys you know. When you're talking to another CDer, the guy rules are obsolete and don't apply. You've gone beyond that and become a better person. You aren't trying to be the alpha dawg, nor should you be afraid of showing a weakness. We're not poised ready to heap ridicule on you like ordinary males.

Hey, I love shoes! I like makeup! I love sharing what I know with people I know will appreciate it. Let's talk!

[PretzelGirl]

I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I never contacted someone on this site. I am far more social in person that I am in type, especially in email. But just do it. If they don't want to talk, they won't answer. But the friends you can make are wonderful.

[Ceri Anne]

Almost a Lady said it best, its just two girls chatting. I talk on fb regularly with Karen, Kate and others who have already posted. We all have been in your boat before and by talking you grow comfortable. I'm going out tonight with a "girl" from here, just as friends and to get to know each other. This is a great place to make friends who understand you, can inspire you, or when things are challenging, provide support and encouragement.

[Norma_CD]

Yes, I feel the same way. I am very hesitant to initiate the contact, but I have no problems responding to anyone asking me for info.

So far it looks like everyone doesn't seem to mind. Good to know!

[Nicole Erin]

most people are plenty happy to get contacted personally thru a PM.
If you are worried about asking a "guy" about his heels or whatever, there is no need to worry. Whether one identifies as TS or CD or whatever, we are in good company here.

Like it was said - if someone really didn't want to communicate on PM, they just won't respond. I doubt anyone on this forum has ever given someone the 3rd degree over contacting them. Well unless the PM was inappropriate like saying, "How I would love to run my tongue up the seams of your hose!" But just asking them for more deatails about something, no one is gonna mind.

[Sandra1746]

I have no problem responding to others who PM me although I have yet to initiate one. As long as the request is reasonable I'll answer nearly anything. To me it's similar to meeting a friend at a party or in the neighborhood. I however admit to being slightly "behind the times" as regards the current social media technology.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

[Lady Catherine]

I used to be nervous about PM's myself, but everyone here is so nice and helpful, that goes away quicker then you can say Jumpin Jack Flash.

[stacycoral]

First of all, you're not talking to another guy. You're talking to me, Eryn, a CDer who understands your feelings better than any of the muggle guys you know. When you're talking to another CDer, the guy rules are obsolete and don't apply. You've gone beyond that and become a better person. You aren't trying to be the alpha dawg, nor should you be afraid of showing a weakness. We're not poised ready to heap ridicule on you like ordinary males.

Hey, I love shoes! I like makeup! I love sharing what I know with people I know will appreciate it. Let's talk!

I look at it more like two girls chatting.......

it would be hard to add to these two statements, we are all girls here, hugs.

[justmetoo]

Yes, I feel the same way. I am very hesitant to initiate the contact, but I have no problems responding to anyone asking me for info.

So far it looks like everyone doesn't seem to mind. Good to know!

I feel like this as well. I'm not very active on this board so I auppose that makes me more hesitant, but on other boards I am on for other reasons (such as hobbies) I'm also reluctant to pm people. I guess I feel like I would be bothering them, even though most people are happy to be contacted or at least fine with it. The rest will probably just not respond. It seems the lesson is, if you feel like contacting someone do so and if you don't get a reply don't take it personally. There could be numerous reasons why people don't reply (maybe they just haven't been on to see the message, for example, or maybe they're having "real life" issues at the time. Who knows.)

[RenneB]

Girl you've been here for over 6 years so you should know by now that this is a great site to chat and ask others about just about anything. I know I have and have found everyone to be supportive and very friendly. Okay, early on I came across one admirer and told 'him' that I was not interested in anything outside of my current relationship. Other than that one incident, I have met some of the best friends GG and CDrs alike from this site...

Really.....

Renne..

[AmyGaleRT]

Lacy, don't fret; we're all women together here, part of the "sisterhood." I for one love the "girl talk" aspect of these forums.

Don't be afraid to leave me a PM or visitor message if you like something and want to know more; you'll probably make me feel really good and I'll be happy to reply and send back hugs.

The same probably goes for most of the ladies here.

- Amy

[Diane Smith]

I'd love to exchange more emails and PMs with other members here, but I've found this to be a relatively quiet bunch compared to some other online forums I frequent. I actually like to write quite long emails to friends of all kinds.

On the other hand, I hate online live chatting where I feel rushed and like I'll be judged for every error in thinking, spelling and grammar. I much prefer having the ability to edit my words at leisure before I hit send.

- Diane