Maybe your in Denial ? An really want to become a total woman an be with a man for good an just don't want to hurt your wife in the process ?
Because as countless other have already said they would kill to be able to just dress or share this part of themselves with there SO .
Or maybe there is NO END ? Some people are just chaos junkies an are never satisfied ? They push an push till there's nothing left ?
( JUST SAYING ) ??/
Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,
You are not nuts, that you can be sure of.
One thing to ask yourself is whether you will accept if your wife wants her own romantic encounter and if she does and than wants to be with this person instead of you.
Is your relationship already dead between the two of you?
Separate from that if you are a transsexual and have a "homosexual" relationship with a man you could cause yourself incredible emotional unhappiness because you will be trying to have sex as a woman before you have transitioned which will add to your dysphoria even while it reduces it through fantasy so you could end up increasing your obsession in the need to experience the "true self" while experiencing sex in the "body of a man" by using fantasy to cope with reality which can be dangerous when it concerns identity.
Sex will not "fix" identity but only leave you even more outside of experiencing "you" as identity.
If you are using sex to experience intimacy (love) as a woman because you identify as such than you have placed yourself in a very dangerous situation psychologically.
If you clearly identify as male than no problem because this will be sexual love between two men through sex so than the only concern is your relationship and your physical health.
I strongly urge you to be very clear about who you really are as "identity" before you try to live that identity through sex because you may experience the fantasy but your mind will be conflicted and you could go into depression afterwards when what you wanted "emotionally" is not experienced because of the body you reside in.
Sex,fantasy and identity are a deadly mixture.
If you think your wife would be ok with it, and it sounds like she would be, then why the voices in your head telling you no? Is it an attack of conscience or do you think that she might be telling you what you want to hear---or could it be once you go down that road, you might not want to come back and your life would change? Anyway it sounds like you have some interesting choices to make
[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
The only way you would really know is to go for it, but put safe guards in place incase at some point you want to stop short of going through. I know I am a really a **** and will catch hell from some on the board for it.
My wife of 30+years is the same as yours except I have "done the deed" with many times my wife joining me at times.
LOL
At your age you should know better than to ask a question like that to a group of people that are notoriously risk averse. If you wanna dance to the beat of your own drum than sack up and do it already. Introducing a 3rd party into your marriage is generally not a good idea, but your situation might be totally different. Your wife might really be into it, what the hell do I know?
The only advice I have to give is the same advice I give everyone in pretty much every situation; Go where your spirit takes you with no regrets. Life is short and I would much rather forget stuff I did, than regret stuff I didn't.
LOL I really like that. Those could be words to live by.Originally Posted by Badtranny
Thanks for all the responses everyone. I'm certain my wife is not the root of my anxiety, but rather more of being a product of the 80's and living through the whole Rock Hudson thing and all the shame that came with playing with the same gender. It took a fairly long time to accept that I was a CD despite all my upbringing and everything drilled into my head when younger. Now with the thought of exploring this side of myself, it's more of a the only thing I have to fear is fear itself.
[/I]
It's not that simple. There are very serious risks for you and your wife here, as several of the folks have pointed out. What it boils down to is this - if you aee happy to accept the consequences, then go for it. However don't come back crying if it all goes wrong!
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
But wouldn't we also would rather regret stuff we did do and wouldn't have to remember things we didn't do?
At my fair age, I regret not doing a lot of things. A lot of people talk about avoiding the bad experiences. I have found that those bad ones actually taught me the most, and those were experiences I don't regret having either. Live and learn. That is why I have embraced this other side of me when it reared its head (ugly or not) almost 7 years ago. And that is why I am having so much fun with no regrets about that either.
As a friend of mine once said, just because a wife says they are okay with something, doesn't always mean they are really okay with it. They may say it is okay because they want to be accommodating and make their husband happy, but they may not really be okay with it, and that can lead to all sorts of bitterness and problems down the road.
This is all a bit mind-boggling for simple-complicated me, Nicole...
I find myself out of breath.
Up to now, CDing in particular has enhanced your relationship to your SO.
Both of you are accepting, understanding people willing to accommodate their partner's wishes and needs.
More power to you!
The future has always belonged to those who dare...
Hopefully you will continue to make the right decisions...
It doesn't matter what we do though... I've learned that it's important to take small steps over time, especially when making decisions involving others.
Now, I've got my breath back
All the best,
Gaby
[SIZE="1"]When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... In the lilt of Irish laughter... When Irish hearts are happy... And When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... [/SIZE]
Open relationships work fine for some people. If the two of you genuinely agree to it, you won't know unless you try it.
http://www.alternet.org/how-open-rel...e-people-happy
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-really-better
Last edited by ElleduSud; 01-09-2013 at 10:08 AM.
I totally agree. I would make quite sure that your wife knows in detail of your intentions. From what you have said it is not clear that she really understands what you want to do. I'm curious though, do you consider yourself straight, gay or bi-sexual???
If your wife loves you enough to give you such freedom, love her enough not to use it.
If you use it and like it, where will it stop? It IS a form of adultery, you know.
[SIGPIC]
You can explore this sort of thing safely with a dominatrix. Had you already considered anything like that? If interested, I can send you a link to the blog entry mine did on me; however, it gets a little risque in one spot. Apparently, it was an epic session for her though it took me a year or so to really realize how profound it was for both of us.
I've had a long time desire when dressing to explore a relationship as Nicole. Someone that I can 'date' to be able to snuggle up to on the couch while watching a movie. To be held and feel his strong embrace. And eventually when relaxed with him, be his woman in the bedroom.
With 2013, I've started moving forward with the mindset that I'm not getting any younger, this has been a life-long thing, and I've got to explore it. You only live once, right?
So I've started a conversation with a gentleman online. Turns out he lives only a couple miles away. He fully knows I'm a CD, he knows that I tend to cycle between pink & blue fogs, and respects that in the blue fog, I have a life that includes a wife and a kid. Thus far I really like him - he's kind, courteous, and quite the gentleman. My wife knows of Nicole's desires and encourages Nicole to have a special friend knowing she doesn't have the right parts to satisfy Nicole.
So I'm carrying on a dialog with this gentlemen, I really like him thus far and would like to meet him in person. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks....What the heck are you doing?!?! You're a guy; you're married; you've gone plumb loco.
Anyone else have these struggles? If so are you over your insecurities? What worked to put your mind at ease?
Thanks for your input...
Nicole
Last edited by CassandraSmith; 01-09-2013 at 11:44 AM.
Can I assume that you have purchased a dildo and experimented with it, and already have a very good idea that you will enjoy having sex with a man as Nicole? The questions which I would raise are these? What if you discover that you are more trans than bi? Are you prepared for a possible scenario where having a relationship as a woman with the special friend (or his successors) is more important than your relationship with your wife? Is your wife prepared for such a possibility? The suggestions that you are fooling around at the edge of a long, slippery slope are correct. Enjoying the attentions of a man can be psychologically and physically addictive. I'm not saying don't do it, merely make sure you have your mind wrapped around the concept rather than vice versa.
