I am a wife. I am accepting and supportive of the en femme dressing.
I am a wife. I am accepting and supportive of the en femme dressing.
Define "normal"
I am very lucky.
My wife has just read these threads and her remark was really reassuring to me. She said "......surely some of the wife's of cross dressers on this forum cannot truly love their husbands". She said, "..... her understanding of love is (with me and Andrea) unconditional and my dressing hurts no one." "Why would you want to stop somebody do what is so important to them, a part of them?"
I have only just come out and she is in a good place with it. It is like a renewed bond of love and trust between us especially as I have had such a hard time coming to terms with my feelings and my cross dressing.We live in a small and very bigoted part of the UK and my wife recommended that if we were ever to leave the house together it be at night when we take the dogs out for a walk. I have told her that I have no desire to leave the house and she remarked that if I ever did want to go out anywhere as Andrea she would be right beside me.(I love my wife so much we have been taking each other for granted for many years we now have a renewed love for each other) "you are so special to me"
Jennifer, I appreciate the advice. With my wife I do have to warm her up to some things because even though she is rather liberal and open minded, she can be very conservative in some ways. As a result of doing this, I am working toward the best result possible.Jamie, just a word of advice: you can't hint or divulge this secret slowly. If you are ready to talk to her and your relationship is strong, just sit down and talk to her. It will be the hardest conversation you ever have but the result will be freeing, regardless of the answer.
My wife is accepting and participates. She lets me do pretty much what I want just don't let friends and family see.
The minute you think of giving up think of the reason you held on for so long
It's not just a question of how much you love someone. I'm sure the wives who have a hard time accepting, love their husbands very much. But everyone is raised differently and has different beliefs about gender and sexuality. Take for example, a GG who supports her husband through transition (changing voice, softer curves and skin through hormones, breast growth, sexual reassignment surgery), and so the couple lives as lesbians. Would it be right for the GG to say that the GGs who do not support transsexual husbands do not love their husbands (new female partners) enough? No.Originally Posted by andrea lace
To answer the OP, I'm 110% supportive, have been from the day she told me, even though we've had our ups and downs. I'm not convinced the down parts were all CDing related though. Sometimes it's hard to separate CDing issues from garden-variety couples issues. I often suggest we go out and do something dressed.
Reine
This sounds like my first wife! Thank good my second wife has transitioned from DADT to fully accepting and participating. We have even gone out shopping as girlfriends.
I think that an accepting and participating spouse is the best there could be for a CD'er. Fortunately for many on this forum, you have a wife like that. and, to a certain degree, I'm envious of that. Mine is very straight laced and the few times I have tried to hint that crossdressing is not so "bad" and it could be fun and sexy, I have been met with a rather sharp comment. So, i know that I have a choice, stay in the closet or bye-bye. So, I'm in the closet. But oh well, we all make the best of the choices we make.
To all you GGs out there who support your CDing SOs, thanks - you are wonderful. One conversation at a time, you are capable of changing a lot of attitudes.
I'm basically in the exact same boat.
After thirty years, I'll say that my wife ha sort of stopped fighting it, although she still hasn't exactly embraced it. She'll kind of casually ask if I dressed after I've has some alone time and gives something between a smile and a smirk when I tell her I have, but that's about the extent of it.
Somewhere in the middle.
She's cognizant that I like to wear women's clothes - I have my panties, she has hers - and she accepts that it's part of me, but she doesn't encourage or participate.
we're separated, THAT's how she feels about it. Although it's a lot more complicated than just my tg life.....
The one thing that i have learned from this thread is that if you tell your SO no matter what the outcome
you as a person will feel better about yourself. If this helps you be more secure in your own skin then you will most likely be a more understanding person to live with.
You can only hate yourself so long before you hate everyone.
Wonderwho
.... and someday I too will become a butterfly screamed the catapiller!!!
Hello.
My wife is unenthusiastic and semi accepting. Does not want to see me or participate. Hates the changes I have made to myself (not that many really). Still she's trying to come to grips and learn to live with this.
My wife is accepting. Lately she has started to comment on my outfits which is positive; she called my new nightie modest.
I want to believe that my wife is in the dark, but I can't help but wonder when she sees me come out of the shower with a freshly shaved body and painted toenails if that is really possible. I'm not sure we've ever even danced around the subject; we certainly have not talked about it. I suspect she suspects; and she probably suspects that I suspect that she suspects. And that's OK with me.
My wife is totally in the dark. I've suspected that she would not accept it and I have been winding things down with the objective of quitting entirely. I had a chance to confirm my suspicions last week. I have been watching reruns of the Twin Peaks TV series from about 20 years ago. In one episode, David Duchovny had his network television debut playing a crossdresser. She didn't know about his debut so without describing the role he played, I asked her is she would like to see it. When she saw the scene she turned to me and said I just ruined her image of him. Then she stormed out of the room. That confirmed to me that even if our marriage would survive my coming out, she would never look at me the same way again.
I am only a recreational crossdresser, dressing at most once a week for a couple of hours so I feel I stand a good chance of quitting. The incident with Duchovny's crossdresser role has given me even more incentive to quit. I feel that just going cold turkey would not be the best method of quitting. I have a plan which includes a bucket list of things I want to do before I quit and figure that the list will be checked off within the next week or 2. At that point I will stop.
"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think." - The Buddha
Well for me I knew my husband crossdressed when we first met back in high school which wasn't that long ago. This was the time it began being popular for the "skater" guys to wear girls jeans so most people didn't think anything of it. However I had a major crush on him and noticed he sometimes had vpl and even caught a glimps of his panties peaking out over his jeans once in a while.
Before you conclude that, realize that for many this is reality:
(qouting AllyCDTV above)
My wife is totally in the dark. I've suspected that she would not accept it and I have been winding things down with the objective of quitting entirely. I had a chance to confirm my suspicions last week. I have been watching reruns of the Twin Peaks TV series from about 20 years ago. In one episode, David Duchovny had his network television debut playing a crossdresser. She didn't know about his debut so without describing the role he played, I asked her is she would like to see it. When she saw the scene she turned to me and said I just ruined her image of him. Then she stormed out of the room. That confirmed to me that even if our marriage would survive my coming out, she would never look at me the same way again.
. . .
(apologies to Ally, not trying to parse your post, just quoting the part that I thought that summed things up best for me.)
There is no one answer that will fit everyone's situation. If you're not doing this very often, don't want to continue, know your wife is not going to take it well, etc. I don't blame you for being discreet. Just know that there will be hell to pay if you do get caught. It's easy to say love is unconditional, spouses should accept you, your marriage is strong enough to overcome this, but that's just not how many women (GG's) really feel about dressing; it is a big turn off for many, and it does affect the quality of your marriage. Hopefully you hit the lottery and find a spouse who not only accepts, grudgingly, but participates. IF you do, you better feel like the more fortunate person in the world because most pray for that every day.
I have an update. I discussed the issue with my wife and she actually fits into the category of what's good for the goose, is good for the gander. She is supportive, and a participant in that she wishes to get more men's clothes of her own. She is also willing to share clothing and other stuff that fit.
Mine knows of it and has seen it and indulged me on a few things...but she doesn't seem to want much to do with it overall.
My wife is completely accepting of my dressing,she loves to go shopping with me and choosing outfits she thinks would suit me.and we spent one of our anniversarys together in hotel,and going out in the city doing "normal," activities.
She has not been in the best of health and I've pretty much been the housewife these past two years.as long as she gets to see her man every now and then she has no problems at all with my femme side,and I appreciate that so very much
Sophie
We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire
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A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a roseFacebook:Sophie Johnson
My wife is accepting and she admits that she doesn't even notice that I'm dressed anymore. She just sees me!
My wife is accepting & might participate. Over the holidays she saw Vicky for the first time and made positive comments about the dress that I was wearing. Discussed what type of makeup to use and even purchased some the next day. I will never pass in public but now it will be fun putting the total package together.
She hates it (me) totally and viscerally
Girls who are boys, Who like boys to be girls, Who do boys like they're girls, Who do girls like they're boys, Always should be someone you really love
My wife knows I wear panties 24/7, also knows I dress but it's kind of a "don't ask don't tell" thing around the house. I'll only go out as Susan when one of us is out of town, but if I'm out doing things while she's at work I'm in bra, panties, ladies jeans and shoes with a male looking top.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Susan V. Adams
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