Being referred to as a girl...

[Nanaya]

Something I've noticed on this forum is that everyone has a tendency to refer to others as girls. And while I can definitely understand why... It's something that makes me uncomfortable. While most people here think of themselves as women, it's not the case for everyone. I'm a boy, and though I am a crossdresser, I still want to be referred to as a boy.

I think calling everyone "ladies" is generalizing a bit, in a way. And it's something that should be fixed, for the sake of crossdressers like me who don't feel like women and don't want to be referred to as such.

[Kate Simmons]

I think the term "ladies" is just an expression. Even "Muscleman" on "The Regular Show" cartoon calls the rest of them "ladies". Personally, I try not to make generalizations for the most part and never assume everyone wants to be referred to as a "she" but it seems to be like a "shot in the arm" for many here. Who am I to disagree with that?

[Angela Campbell]

I figure that if they appear as female, and are going by a female name, then they should be referred to as a female. Otherwise they should be referred to as they want to be. It is never done as an insult in any case.

[Nanaya]

To be fair, I'm not going out of my way to appear as female, I just like female clothes. I like male clothes equally, I find both beautiful and wear both.

As for my name, Nanaya is not a female name, just a genderless nickname. My one and only real name is Naoya, which is a male name.

[Yvonne York]

I just like being a girl so am very happy to be called one.

[sometimes_miss]

It just goes to show you that it's really more than just the clothes; a whole lot of people here subconsciously want to be female, and love the feeling of being referred to as such. Otherwise, there would be no desire to be referred to as a 'she', and even the concept of it occuring would be considered at the very least, just incorrect grammer. Yet, most here embrace it whole heartedly. I understand;, remember, there's a huge stigma attached to this, and even those of us who understand the phenomenon often feel guilty about something that we shouldn't have to. So, call yourselves whatever you want, whatever makes you feel better. That's why this forum is here, or at least that's how I look at it.

[Annaliese]

Then why have a girl name.

[I Am Paula]

I understand your concern, as not everyone on this forum is nessasarily transgendered. However, try to convey greetings to everybody, in a short missive, is difficult indeed. Just to voice an opinion, he/ she should technically start every post with:
Greeting ladies, men, bi-gender, genderfluid, weekend dragqueen, intersexed, slight to moderate GID, transexuals, and panty lovers.
That's just too much work. We need one word titles, and 'Ladies' got chosen. It's NEVER meant as an insult.-Celeste

[ColleenA]

For 30 years, I crossdressed but did not have a "femme self." It was only when I started going to CD sites that I even bothered coming up with a femme name to use. And while Colleen is not a person or even a personality on her own, it still feels better to be called Colleen (with related terms and pronouns) when I am in "girl mode."

Don't know if this works, but riffing off the top of my head, I'm thinking it's like when I'm interacting with my kids. They call me Dad, and I am in Dad mode, something that doesn't happen except in interaction with them. It would be just as weird to be called Dad at work as it would be to be called Colleen.

[Megan70]

I thought I was the ONLY one on this site feeling that way but was glib to speak up for fear of ostracizing. I do and have felt very uneasy being considered one of the group of girls and being referred to as such or its synonym equivalent gorls, girlfriend, or worst of all CD Brooklynese talk " Gurlz". Yo!, count me out. If You want to email, pm or reply to a post I much prefer no addressing or just Megan, as a role-playing alias only.To answer Annaliese as to why have a girls name? I can't very well have a Avatar or profile shot and under it be called " Joe" as some sort of 'character ' identity is need for forum only I'm only a CD who enjoys playing and looking the part of a woman, cause I look and feel better about myself than an ugly man. For myself and not denigrating others as to their calling I am not a TG, TS or anything else other than a boy/ guy who is happy in my gender role. I have no need to explore my inner self or find my feminine side. There is none. Just some cool three hour out in public method acting role playing, them home, wipe off the face, take off the wig and back to me... A Guy. My opinion of myself only

[Ms. Laura]

I must admit, I had not considered that I'd be offending someone's sensibilities on a CD Forum by referring to them as ladies. I mean, jeez, it's just polite convention. If you're presenting as female, then it only seems appropriate. In you're case Nanaya, to a whitebread Euro/American like me, anything ending in "aya" is interpreted as female. But, please don't make much of it.

And, you could put "Joe" under your avatar, that would be cool. I think we choose a fem name to be more anonymous however, if you don't feel that you have a fem personality, or are female, that is.

As for me, I want to be one of the girls, but whatever you want is cool too!

[Bo-peep]

Something I've noticed on this forum is that everyone has a tendency to refer to others as girls. And while I can definitely understand why... It's something that makes me uncomfortable. While most people here think of themselves as women, it's not the case for everyone. I'm a boy, and though I am a crossdresser, I still want to be referred to as a boy.

I think calling everyone "ladies" is generalizing a bit, in a way. And it's something that should be fixed, for the sake of crossdressers like me who don't feel like women and don't want to be referred to as such.

I for one am pleased you have said how you feel ... as GG I like to try learn all about different views from different people and I am grateful that you have explained how you feel; it is, I guess, because it gets pretty scary reading some of the posts on here when my SO has revealed he is a cder .... I am trying to work out if there will be a time when he wants to 'progress' or if it is likely he will remain like you ... a guy who likes to wear womens clothing but does not want to become a woman. I love him and want him to be happy, but I need to be happy too, and I would not be happy if he chose to become too girlie or, God forbid, if he wanted to become a woman full time. Thanks again Nanaya

[Karren H]

Funny back in the 70's we had an old executive VP who referee to all of us male staff as girls and ladies..... I never took offence then and I don't now..... guess if you don't like what people are saying you can always go find somewhere where they call everyone "man" or "dude"? lol

Then why have a girl name.

Good point!

[AprilCross]

Everyone who crossdress is different, some do it just for the clothes but some have the whole female personality that goes with it. Its hard to define on a board when we all have the same interest which is dressing in female clothing. As for me i have a female side so i don't mind it when you refer to me as a lady

[AshleyScott]

I think calling everyone "ladies" is generalizing a bit, in a way. And it's something that should be fixed, for the sake of crossdressers like me who don't feel like women and don't want to be referred to as such.

Mes amis, bonjour...

I'm not convinced Nanaya that this thread is going anywhere. Some members like to be referred to in the feminine and others aren't too bothered.

I have a name that is mostly considered to be a girl's name. But, actually, when my mother gave it to me she did so because she was attracted to a very masculine character from the film "Gone With The Wind" called Ashley.

I like to wear feminine clothing, because... But I don't try to pass as a women. If I get the chance to come back and live life as a woman, I may change my mind about being one. Who knows?

I'll try to remember to refer to you as masculine, as that is what you prefer. But how you address me... pas de soucis.

[NicoleScott]

The first rule should be to call people what they want to be called. My given name has a few nicknames, but I don't like to be called any of them, and introduce myself using my given name. I don't get offended when I am called by another name, unless I have already identified myself and used the name I prefer to be called. I still don't express my displeasure - I just don't answer to that name.
Even though I am a guy who likes to dress up occasionally, I have a female name and show my en femme pic. So I should be referred to as "she". Some members here use a generic or male name, and want to be called "he". Seems simple enough to call people what they want to be called.
But, it gets tricky sometimes. Sissystephanie, for example, has made it clear many times that he is a guy who likes to wear women's clothes and want to be referred to as "he", but uses a female name. That may not be known at first to a newcomer to the forum. Another situation on the forum that may allow for a bending of the rules is a post in response to crossdressing/marital issues. For clarity, it may be best to refer to "he" and "she" even though the "he" is a CD with a feminine identity, female name and pic.

[Georgia_Maine]

Personally I much prefer being addressed as a "lady" than a "girl". First, I'm much too old to be mistaken for a girl. Second, my definition of a lady is someone who is feminine in their appearance and dress, no matter their sex, and behaves in a civil manner. That seems to be everyone here on this forum.

Gigi

[Stephanie Miller]

I'm thinking there are a little less than a gazzillion members here. If I was also guessing, I would say less than 5% are uncomfortable being "labeled" as female.
Isn't your position the same as a vegan joining the cattlemans association and then complaining? I mean they are welcome to join, they know what the association is.......
Guess I just don't get it

[AngieStone]

Megan you have this saying ,"Just go out there and be the best damn little girl you can be honey... walk proud in those big girl shoes", you have Holly Hunter wannabe above your Megan Avatar, but you do not want to be referred to as a woman. You go out for three hours a day in public dressed as a woman are you looking for people to call you dude? Megan you have me a little confused about why you are upset if someone on this forum might refer to you as a girl. If you don't want to be called a lady then if it was me I would not try so hard to standout as one. Just my observation.

[mikiSJ]

It seems to me Nanaya that you are more interested in Cosplay than in CDing.

I crossdress because I like being a girl/woman/lady sometimes and I would be annoyed with myself if I couldn't pull it off well enough to not look like a bloke in a dress.

But, we will call you a guy if you want!

[geri-tg.]

I enjoy the term girl or women. Thats what I want to be when on this site. HUGS Geri

[Cassandra Lynn]

Don't take it personal, it's just that this site has a rather large membership and the majorty has kinda been allowed to rule, as that is how such things tend to go.
One would think that after 47(ish) posts and a month and change in time spent here, you'd have gotten the feel for things and not let it bother you?

Genderless names like yours can be difficult to guage.

It's up to you tho, perhaps you should look at how comfortable you really are here and see if you might not be a good fit?

[Paulette]

All I can say is if I take the time to perfect my makeup and wear clothes that make me look feminine then I want to be called girl,lady,madame, or for that matter you can even call me a bitch.

[NicoleScott]

Isn't your position the same as a vegan joining the cattlemans association and then complaining?

Good one......I've got to write that one down.

[Persephone]

This forum has a great many people of a great many different persuasions. I'm reasonably certain that the vast majority prefer to be referred to as women, ladies, girls, etc.

I'm a boy, and though I am a crossdresser, I still want to be referred to as a boy.

If you prefer to be related to as a male, which would likely be an exception, I'm sure that the members here would be glad to accommodate your request. But it may require a bit of a reminder since it is the exception rather than the rule. Perhaps you could add a signature line that says "Call me 'Boy.'"

Hugs,
Persephone.

To add a signature line, click on "Settings" on the upper right of the screen, scroll down to "My Settings" on the left, click on "Edit Signature".