I have a little problem.

[Stephanie47]

KIm, nowhere in your original post or the follow do you state your wife wants you to transition. You interjected transitioning may be something to occur in the future. If she has lesbian tendencies then I suspect your transitioning may be a deal breaker for her. Maybe, you're offering her the best of two worlds. She has a man to appreciate her womanhood. She has a woman to appreciate her womanhood. Sure, she may be attracted to your female persona because she likes your female sensitivity and Kim lacks the boorish behavior of a lot of men.

Frankly, transitioning all the way would leave her with a "lesbian" who presumably would have to pleasure her with devices made of plastic and latex rather than god made flesh and blood. Is that what your wife would want?

Sounds like you need to have a discussion with your wife. Interesting problem! A wife wants her male spouse to be a full time cross dresser lesbian lover at the lost of all of his manly time???? Would you really want to lose all the aspects of your manly life? I don't think your wife is asking that.

[Leila Be]

Kimberlyfaye, I do believe we are all just trying to work it out as we go, as we explore and as we learn more about ourselves and our desires. You can take this in any direction you want to, as often as you want to, and how beautiful to have a supporting SO.

[psion128]

Difficult to answer this particularly.
1) As in a earlier post, is your SO attracted to your femme side as in girl's bff, sexually, just more comfortable when you are in femme? What is the degree of attraction.
2) Transitioning, was the topic even brought up by your SO specifically or are you making assumptions. I haven't read all the replies to your topic but I'm very very certain transitioning is not to be taken lightly. It is a one way street as others have mentioned in replies. I personally would just hold off on that decision because it is a one way street.

[carhill2mn]

Did she say why she is more attracted to Kim? Is Kim a nicer person? Personally, I do not see why this should cause you any
concern. "Sit back and enjoy the ride".

[Jennifer in CO]

Kimberly, let me share from someone who has "been there done that". I was 18, a nice guy, shy, bit introverted, but somewhere in that my wife fell in love with me. She was very out-going in all aspects. I told her (in a letter) after dating her for 9 months that I liked to wear womens clothes. Her response was two-fold. First she said as long as I didn't want to BE a woman, she was ok with that. Second, she sent me (about a week later) a pink matching bra/pantie set (that fit quite nice). Right after we got married, she wanted to see "this other side of me" for a few days. So, I dressed for her (don't remember what) she was fine with it and I started to do it more (and more and...) till I was pretty much Jennifer 24/7 except when I was at work or with family. Well, one thing she discovered was while I was a nice guy, Jennifer was a lot more fun to be with. Jennifer was outgoing, chatty, and was also a lot more fun in the bedroom (if you know what I mean). Hence, she preferred me as Jennifer (and she had/has no Lesbian tendencies prior). This also lead to her asking the Dr if he would prescribe hormones for me to "get a few curves" on our 2nd anniversary. The rest of the story is posted in other places here on the forum but in short (very short) - two months later he found a way to get them for me through a medical study - 9 months later I transitioned - 3 years after that she asked be to go back as she missed having a man in her life - and I did...

Jenn

[Kimberlyfaye]

She hasn't asked about a transition or brought it up. Just that she is becoming more attracted to Kim. I think it is in a physical way but there are a few little emotional aspects too. The only reason, (and I have spoken to my friend about this part) I would consider transitioning is because I think I would be happier living as a woman. And if my SO was happy about that too then she would get what I think she wants. But I do need to talk to her, mainly about changing her mind later. Because once on that road it is difficult turning back. For both of us.
But Jenn, I didn't even know that was possible. Am I right reading your post that you transitioned and then made a return trip? That can't have been a full transition surely? Hope you don't mind me asking but I can't quite get my head around that.

Now when we spoke the first time I did ask her which she wanted, male or female. I didn't get a proper answer. I think it was just tough for her. So I didn't push it. But I did say that should we go down that path it would mean for a short while she would most likely have to be the main provider. I can't see myself getting a job as Kim right away. It would take time. And I know you have to live full time for a year beforehand. So a transition is off the table for the next few years at least. But I just want to consider everything first. And I hope she will consider it all too.

Hopefully we can have a chat soon. I'll let you all know how it goes when we have.

[AmyGaleRT]

Kim, you've got a good head on your shoulders, and I think you're thinking this through in the right way. For the moment, since she likes Kim and you like being Kim, I would say, be Kim as much as possible for awhile. It may help both of you get your feelings straightened out, one way or the other.

I'm guessing that Jenn's "transition" consisted of hormones without any surgery, so that, by going off the hormones later, she was able to reverse (most of?) the effects. But that's just my feminine intuition talking.

I hope both of you will be happy, whichever way you end up.

- Amy

[Mistybtm]

How is this a problem? So she likes your femme side. Assuming this is a legit thread and not one of those "that summer at my aunt's house" threads, you are pretty much living the dream of most CDs

Yes I agree you are living the dream most of us would love to be in your situation

[Barbara Ella]

Kim, not a lot i can add to the good information you are getting here. I must agree that transition with SRS is not an issue right now. Transition to 24/7 female presentation might be a consideration, but even that is a bit off I feel. Your wife has a new situation to deal with, and is just now feeling very comfortable with it, and in my mind, is reacting to the new person by wanting that one around. One thing you need to determine is whether you like being Kim for her, maybe even full time at home. She may want Kim with benefits. As others have said, give this some time. Discuss things over and over. Give her equal doses of male and female, and do nice things for here when in both modes. The two of you have a dynamic to sort out here, and i wish both of you luck and peace.

Barbara

[Sunny50]

You really need to sit down with her and talk this out. As a Mature sister, I have had 3 SOs in my life and 2 were very much more interested in my fem qualities and sharing time when I was my feminine persona. They weren't interested in any major changes, but I found out from them that before we shared our lives together they really have no girlfriends to share with and we had great times together doing all those girly things they had missed out on. And while there were times intimate moments were girl to girl, the majority of times they definitely wanted my male persona to be dominate during those incounters. Don't allow anyone else's comments make any decisions when it comes to transitions. If it's right for you, you will know it and you won't have to every worry about not being able to return.

[xdressed]

But I did say that should we go down that path it would mean for a short while she would most likely have to be the main provider. I can't see myself getting a job as Kim right away. It would take time.

This is a good point, it's very difficult for trans people to get a job. My friends dad has recently just started a full transition and she is finding it hard to get work, which is especially difficult for her being single and trying to make it as a comedian

[Rondawants]

Oh wow!!!!! I think that it's one of those things your going to have to talk over very well!!! I'm sure it can be worked out! Thinking of you and yours!!! Loves Ronda!!!

[5150 Girl]

Well, like others have said, if this isn't a troll thread, it sounds like a dream come true to me!

[Ericaxd]

My theory--entirely unproven--is this. I think the women in our lives are attracted to our femme selves. Its part of who each of us is, and its something we telegraph however subtly, and women a perceptive enough to pick up on it. They may not consciously say, oh, he has a feminine side and I like that. But they perceive something in us, something we would define as feminine, and like that in us. I think your wife liked Kim before she knew about her.

[NV Susan]

Try being Kim a little more often, without saying anything.
Do not bring up the subject of transitioning or being more feminine than what she desires at the moment.
Regulate your dressing to please her and it will all appear natural.
I for instance can now go outside or home and drive tho the shopping centre without a comment being passed.
I make no comment like "Do you mind ?" or anything like that.
Just do it naturally.
If she starts to get cld feet again you can easily back off to suit the mood.
Do not push the boundaries, one day she may like you to have real boobs, then do something about it.
In the meantime there is a lot of living to do and you have been given an opportunity to express yourself.
As Ru Paul would say, "Don't fluff it up"

[SIZE="3"]Hi Kimberly......I agree with Beverley.
Also, you could be living every CD'ers dream!

[/SIZE]

[PretzelGirl]

I am with the "pace it out" group. Many have said it sounds like a dream but handled wrong the dream could become a nightmare. She may be having her own version of a pink fog. Take your time and let it evolve naturally and not too fast. If you hit a point where she finds it is too much, it is better to ease to that point than to run it completely over. And if you move too fast you may find that if you or her decide it has gone too far and want to back up, that you may have done something irreversible in the process. Good luck!

[Rianna Humble]

I will begin by saying that my SO is supportive, to the extent that she accepts and encourages me to be who I am. Now the other day she came to me with a problem. To cut a long story short she told me she is more attracted to Kim than the male me. I just don't know what to do. I don't even know how to talk about it. It's just sitting there on my mind and I have no idea what to do with it. It's possible it could lead to a future transition.

I will give you the same advice that I give to transsexuals who are hesitating. Do not transition unless you absolutely need to do so in order to survive.

Transition is not a lifestyle choice, it is the last resort of those of us who cannot survive the conflict between our gender and our body.

If anything is more important to you than ensuring that your body and your gender are congruent, then transition will only lead to unhappiness. If you are not transsexual, then transition will end in disaster.

You are in the South East. If you are anywhere near to Brighton, PM me and I will give you the details of a support group that you and your SO might find helpful.

[wilt575]

Kimberly, let me share from someone who has "been there done that". I was 18, a nice guy, shy, bit introverted, but somewhere in that my wife fell in love with me. She was very out-going in all aspects. I told her (in a letter) after dating her for 9 months that I liked to wear womens clothes. Her response was two-fold. First she said as long as I didn't want to BE a woman, she was ok with that. Second, she sent me (about a week later) a pink matching bra/pantie set (that fit quite nice). Right after we got married, she wanted to see "this other side of me" for a few days. So, I dressed for her (don't remember what) she was fine with it and I started to do it more (and more and...) till I was pretty much Jennifer 24/7 except when I was at work or with family. Well, one thing she discovered was while I was a nice guy, Jennifer was a lot more fun to be with. Jennifer was outgoing, chatty, and was also a lot more fun in the bedroom (if you know what I mean). Hence, she preferred me as Jennifer (and she had/has no Lesbian tendencies prior). This also lead to her asking the Dr if he would prescribe hormones for me to "get a few curves" on our 2nd anniversary. The rest of the story is posted in other places here on the forum but in short (very short) - two months later he found a way to get them for me through a medical study - 9 months later I transitioned - 3 years after that she asked be to go back as she missed having a man in her life - and I did...

Jenn

I have a similar story except I already had very obvious natural lower curves so did not need hormones for that, but suggested breast implants, which I willingly got and don't regret. She did get me to try some hormones to give me a more fem feelings and personality etc. Well after little over a year didn't ask me to change back she just left.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kimberly, You are so young and I'm guessing that your wife is also give this a little time to see if it works itself out.

[Jessica86]

How is this bad? Oh, that's already been said. I wish this would happen to me.......

[Kimberlyfaye]

Thank you all for the replies.
Unfortunately now there wont be any taking it slow or possible dressing as she has broken up with me. I am absolutely devastated :'( now I have nothing left in my life.

But I am trying to put a positive spin on this by thinking there is only one way I can go from rock bottom, and that's up.

Thank you all again so much for sharing your insight
Hugs

[Missy]

Oh the many webs we weave. this dose sound like a nasty sticky wicket. it is one thing to lose the wife for some other guy due to the cross dressing but when the cross dressing starts the wife too except our female self and get more into it that she just might leave for a real woman sound a hole lot though er then the first but it a risk we all take for what we want for or think we need to be us

this is only my thoughts and only my thoughts.

[Pearl]

Thank you all for the replies.
Unfortunately now there wont be any taking it slow or possible dressing as she has broken up with me. I am absolutely devastated :'( now I have nothing left in my life.

But I am trying to put a positive spin on this by thinking there is only one way I can go from rock bottom, and that's up.

Thank you all again so much for sharing your insight
Hugs

awe, sorry to hear this! just read the entire thread and then came across this, so sad. hang in there...

[crazybiker]

If you don't mind, why did she break up with you?

[Kimberlyfaye]

The reason she left me was as Missy stated.

the cross dressing starts the wife too except our female self and get more into it that she just might leave for a real woman sound a hole lot though er

She feels she only prefers women.