I've been CD since I was 10 at that age I didn't know why but I came to discover for me it's fairly sexual, as to say every time I dress up there are *cough cough* signs. But as with any fetish there different for every person and they always tend to morph, evolve, or change.Originally Posted by KatieGG
Funny I saw this I just sent a meessage to my friend here talking about the same thing. When I was younger it was a big turn on for me but now it is just a part of me not a tun on now. As Amy said it is more acomforting mode for me now.
I agree with most of the posts here. However, I have a slightly different element. I dressed because I liked to think I was a girl. And, yes, that excitement caused arousal. But, I didn't like that part. I would get upset at my penis. Sometimes even hate it.
Now here's the element no one else mentioned. I had to climax to be able to undress. That was the only way I could temporarily get rid of the excitement I felt from being a girl. Also, after the climax, came on guilt, shame and sometimes disgust. It took me 47 1/2 years to finally accept who I am and not feel guilty.
So, as you can see, there are as many different sexual aspects to crossdressing as there are crossdressers. But, I can relate to your husband in that I don't dress to satisfy my sexual pleasure even though it does cause sexual arousal. However, after my re-emergence of dressing 2 1/2 months ago, that sexual stimulation has all but disappeared. Yet, now I'm dressed almost all the time except at work and around family. And for the past 3 weeks, I no longer have to climax to undress.
Last edited by AnneB1nderful; 01-18-2013 at 01:37 AM.
Living and Loving in God's Grace,
Anne
[SIZE="3"]Yeah, me too. I've described CDing many times as both erotic and exotic. I still like both descriptions.[/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
In my case mother nature gave me very wide hips and curvy booty and kids at school teased me about it calling me names, girl butt, girl boy etc. So I started dressing the part as much as I could. Took on sexual thrill in early teens at 21 got breast implants after years of forms, more sensetive and natural, in late twenties sexual side left and just seemed more natural and normal. Like OP said like the clothes and expressing myself etc mostly fem now days Carole rules.
Google told you a lie.
Some do and some don't. There are many members here that will tell you the same and I have read hundreds on here that agree. And that is that some/many of us do this for other reasons than for sexual excitement. Apparently whoever the person was from Google must have watched one too many Jerry Springer shows. Maybe I stand alone now; I sure as hell do not do this “ JUST to become aroused for sexual kicks”.
I can find many here that have said the same as I have said. But that's okay though, for who can argue with Google??
Hell. I just learned something about myself...NOT. I now have my hands in the air. There's just too much of so many things on Google or anywhere that continue to classify us all the same.
The argument, and/or misunderstandings seem as though they can never be truly defined. You are young; you read Google, with millions of opinions on everything under the Sun. We cd's now seem to be going back down the hill of the acceptance of what we thought we may have gained on here and events and so many others that speak publicly on our behalf.
But now, the all-knowing Google tells you and millions of others, that we do this solely for the purpose of sexual arousal. Well, I guess now, as a result of Google saying this is why cd's do what we do, THAT is the end of the battle. And as long as we believe in Google’s opinion, why don't we throw in that we do this to molest children too!
So as it is in this community, are we not to believe cross dressers words, but to rely on some Google writers?,,,,, That get paid to write on everything, and are instructed to, well to just go with how they feel that day. Now, I do agree with some of that though. There are some cd's that dress just for that one purpose. And of those that do this for sexual arousal, probably;…probably;..probably:..started dressing as a woman later in life, to get those kicks.
I'm not one of those. I'm not saying that those particulars do not exist or that Google is 100% wrong. But as has been written on here hundreds of times, so many of us do this for so many different reasons, not just for that one definition that you read on Google, but for so many of us, it is because it is in us from birth.
We have read hundreds of stories from so many members here that were doing this prior to 6 years old, long before they ever knew what sex was. But heck, here comes Google, and throws us all into and unto the same boat, or under the same umbrella, or we're all riding the same taxi. Wives that are trying to understand their SO's or their husbands or even their cd friends, all they have to do is just read Google, and well, that's it and there it is. It becomes a losing battle for us, or some of us.
Many, many, years ago, I once foolishly thought we were all the same way back before Google and the internet that we were the same, for I remembered my early childhood just wearing a towel around my tiny waist after a bath and I felt like a young girl or I envisioned I was my very attractive Aunt. Heck, I didn't even know what sex was. I didn't know what sexual arousal was. At the tender young age of 4, 5,6,7,and 11 years old, I was doing this secretly only to myself, for it felt so natural. I felt so lost. I felt so ashamed for I did this as a young innocent child, before I could even think for myself, before I had my first crush, before I realized my own mortality, before I even come close to knowing what life is, was or going to be.
We are not all the same. You may need to do more research into this before saying, "well this is what Google says", and then conclude that this is what a cd is and why they do this. Now I do agree that there were times in my young life like when I was between 15 and 25 years old, I had to get off, and sometimes I would have my Tara side on and would indulge in some personal self-gratification, but was it the dressing? Sometimes yes, but many more times, no.
How many men or boys will say that many times when they were alone, they needed to get off, when they had NO partner? Did they have to become their female side to get aroused? We have on this site alone, many cross dressers that still continue to become their female side long into their 40's, 50's, 60's, and 70's and even maybe into their 80's. And so to those that can relate to me that were doing this just as soon as they could begin to put on their own clothes were doing this before they knew what sex was, was it only to become sexually aroused even when they didn't know what sexual arousal even was?
And don't we have many members on here that still become the female side of themselves long after their testosterone levels are nil or almost gone and libido is totally dead? Do we still keep becoming our female side? I think some cd's do. It's not totally for sexual arousal. To even say this is the ONLY reason is a slap in the face of cross dressers.
My wife Snow White and I were at SCC for the very first time in 2010. We both attended a private and separate meeting for accepting GG wives to educate new GG's and SO's of CD's. We listened for a while. We got up and left after about 30 minutes. Those wives were telling all the other confused and semi-confused, trying to accept, GG’s & or SO's of CD's that ALL of us do this solely for the purpose of sexual arousal.
I disagreed with the speaker for she had categorized as just one simple dimension. My wife and I went there to learn. Well, we both did learn. What we learned was that these wives were going solely from their own feelings with their own relationships. It does take a lot of time for an SO to not only come to grips with all of us, (either to accept us or deny us and leave), but as to where their on husbands or SO stand or where their own SO falls under so many things.
The SO/GG wife then needs to look into herself as to how far she will accept and what she will not accept. But, if my wife, were to JUST read Google, maybe just 3 articles from biased, ex- SO's, or like the website called wivesofcrossdressers.com, then of course she would pack her bags and be gone.
But now I do agree that there are those, and I have met them, that only do this just for the sexual arousal of it. But please do not put us all in between the two pieces of bread.
I will stop here.
Last edited by Tara D. Rose; 01-18-2013 at 07:10 PM.
Very interesting I have never thought about it like this before. Although I am not near my fifties I think this explanation makes sense for me also. There was a strong element of sexual appeal when I was a young adult, but as people have said and I never thought of before, I was doing this before that. And now there is no sexual component other than wanting to be attractive, so I guess the teenage years were as Leslie said, confusion and hormones and inexperience warping my feelings on it.I concur with the majority of the posters here, and it bears repeating that most of us first noticed these urges to put on girls' clothing as young as around ages 5-6. Since that precedes even the earliest onset of puberty amongst humans and the corresponding first awareness of sexual urges, clearly something else is at play here, and it comes down to gender awareness/confusion.
Sure, a temporary sexual component kicks in around puberty, and if I had to guess, much of that has to do with desiring females but not being able to act on those feelings. In this regard, Mother Nature plays a cruel trick on us since teenage girls mature faster than we do and typically go for the older guys at that point in their lives, thereby leaving us hanging (or self-pleasuring, as the case may be). And so, being the budding crossdressers that we are, we do the next best thing, which is to create an imaginary (surrogate?) girlfriend via our alter egos. But once we start dating, developing relationships with SO's, becoming sexually active as the fundamentally heterosexual males that most of us are, and eventually getting married or entering into long-term relationships, the sexual component starts to wane and we revert back to our crossdressing as an expression of gender identity.
Interestingly enough, these crossdressing urges often start to plateau (or even go dormant) during our early adult years as we start to become more focused on starting families, advancing our careers, and paying mortgages etc., and life suddenly becomes very busy. Then around age 50, these urges come back with a vengeance, and almost to the point of being an obsession in some cases. Maybe that's because most of us have settled down now and our lives are in "cruise" mode at that point, maybe it has something to do with lower testosterone levels that typically occur at that time (andropause - the male equivalent of menopause, but much more subtle in its direct effects), or maybe it is the jarring realization that we have more of our lives behind us than ahead of us, and if we don't explore our feminine sides to the fullest now, time will pass us by. Maybe it is actually a combination of all three factors, but either way, it should come as no surprise that many of us here are also between ages 50 - 65 as survey after survey has demonstrated.
All that said, let me put a different spin on the original question. Many of us get married or enter into long-term, monogamous relationships with the expectation that this step - along with a regular sex life - will cure us of our crossdressing urges - NOT!...which just leads us back to gender expression being at the root of our crossdressing inclinations.
I learn so much about myself from listening to others on here
Been dressing for more years than I care to admit...(because of admitting age, nothing else) and yes, at first it was a big turn on. Now that is no longer the case and it's just because I discovered a long time ago that this is a very big part of who I am.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Forget that notion. When I was in my prime of course it was mostly about sexual relief. Basically I had to be a woman and release in order to keep functioning as a man. Sounds strange I know but that is how it was for me. Over time it evolved into being more about who I am as a person and my feelings. We start out as physical beings and become spiritual ones.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Looks like Katie has started herself a popular thread :]
"None is more cruel and violent than the coward"
-Italian economist and sociologist Vilfredo Pareto-
I think for most it starts out sexual and then we all move on.
Early in life I found that my reward was being able to mingle with girls as a girl satisfied me.
I was able to hit on women easier than when dressed as a man.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Wow thanks for all the feedback! I had a feeling google was at least half wrong after joining this forum. I wish I could find what I was reading that said that. Interesting to know that alot of you are like my husband since he is the only cd I know and the only one I talked to I just assumed thats how everyone was, until google told me otherwise. Everyone here has been incredably helpful and thanks again for in depth answers. And it's always pretty cool to start a popular thread!
11/15/12
Leslie Langford always makes sense. I started when I was 3 and have continued in some capacity with lapses in time throughout. I like Leslie's explanation on creating our own "GF" Since puberty, it has been sexual for me and continues to be as being pretty and pretty woman turn me on further substantiating Leslie's explanation...for and about Me. As advised here in April 2011, I completely came out to my wife as wanting to move past just wearing her shoes and not having to hide mine as well as obtaining and collecting other items to bring my 2nd spirit to life.
We still enjoy Kristyn sexually and has actually brought us together and stronger with a better sex life since there are no inhibitions. With all of this being said, It is not 100% sexual for me and when not it is really about pursuing and discovering my look and illusion of being the most beautiful gurl I can be.
I am 43 and as others have stated, the sexual portion may subside as age sets in. I do know once my last baby girl ( make-up artist...lucky me but wished she knew about Kristyn ) I will be dressing a lot and will need a celebrity closet to house all of my shoes and outfits.
I am an Artist working in all Mediums including Sexy
For me, it was never just sexual.....It is just who I am
*Jenny*
For me it's sexual. My fem clothes are sl** clothes. I am also an exhibitionist. When I wear a small bikini or g-string (made for a man, no bikini top) to the beach I also feel like I am cross dressing
Yes, not for me, not related to sex at all. When I was a teen, of course, everything then is sexually related. But now it is clearly for relaxation-I just feel comfortable when I'm in femme mode.
Stephanie
Yes and no, when I was younger it was very sexual and err umm after the sexual part came the guilt. Now as a mature 50 something when I dress it just feels right.
It was never sexual for me. I started long before I. knew what sexton was. And, let's face it, everything turns us on when we're teenagers.
I know enough to know I don't know enough.
Peace
Certainly, this adds "fuel to the fire" so to speak? VVVVV
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ly-stimulating
I suppose it IS is possible that a CDing man has NEVER had an orgasm even once while wearing some female clothing items. I just don't think it likely. And when someone started? Regardless, most used [during their teenage years]/are still using female clothing items to HELP get them to the promised land at least sometimes. Makes perfect sense that the wearing of female clothing would still be associated with the fun and memory of an O even if it was long ago for some people. Even if only subconsciously. And let's face the FACTS, the MALE O is what keeps Humans on the planet so it better be powerful. And addictive. And MEMORABLE.
Females don't need O's to get pregnant [not to say that a female O is any less "magnificent' than a man's] although some new research indicates that when/if a woman has an orgasm during intercourse, it may help steer the sperm to the correct fallopian tube which increases HER chances of getting pregnant.
My impression is that the hordes here who feel guilty/dirty about dressing do so because of the O. it's not a giant leap of logic that at least some would progress to full dressing to help alleviate that guilt and shame to some degree.
The simple bottom line is that there is nothing wrong with any of it, and it does not matter why anyone does it. What IS wrong is for someone to be a CDer and proclaim in these Forums [where rookies arrive daily] that there is a right or wrong for a CDer to "dress". Or that DADT is wrong/won't work/is doomed to failure. Or that ALL CDers should tell their SOs. Or that when a man or woman reaches a certain age they should or should not wear xyz. Or that XX is the proper length for a skirt...
Those kind of statements don't help anyone IMO and rookies already have plenty of worries when they arrive.
For me, it has always had a sexual aspect to it. Even prior to puberty - I was fascinated with girdles, nylons, garters, etc. Now I under dress almost every day which is not a turn on anymore but when fully dressed, it still has a sexual side to it.
Katie, it's never been sexual for me, not even when I was little. It's more a means of feeling whole, like the outside matching the inside. But there's no rule, it works differently for different people.
At 85 I just love the look and feel of women's clothing on my body. Thinking on that I think its just the feeling because as far as looks go
I look like a little old fat guy in a dress.
Vieja
To me, there is dressing and there is my sexuality. The two are different though not necessarily separate. That is to say that I identify more as a woman so I feel more comfortable expressing my sexuality and feeling sexy when dressed, but not necessarily because I'm dressed. If that makes any sense.
When did guilt creep into the discussion?
Is this really religious pressure (which obviously has its own hangups over sex)? or is it societal pressure that we are all bowing to?
It's sexual , still!!!
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