[SIZE="2"] “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care, etc...” (Kurt Cobain)
Do you care, or are you one of these people who say, “I don’t care...” every chance you get? If you’re the former, I’d like to meet you, but if you’re the latter I’ll skip the meeting, thank you...
I imagine Kurt Cobain was justified when he screamed “I don’t care,” (x5) at maximum volume no less, but what about the MtF crossdresser, a person, male by birth, who is trying to incorporate feminine appearance, as well as feminine perceptions and feminine feelings? Doesn’t SHE care? For that reason, I get very confused when I see the phrase “I don’t care” in this particular part of this particular discussion forum. Maybe the individual in question is having a bad day, or a bad week, or a bad life, so they will carelessly scatter their disdain in your general direction, but, if that’s the case, why bother actually doing it? It seems to me that if you have feelings, you would CARE about things. It’s a cruel world, but does it have to be? Why not just pass things by?
I should explain. Many years ago I had a girlfriend who would say “I don’t care” all the time, almost like a form of personal punctuation. I’ll give you a few examples. Me: “Would you like a hot dog?” She: “I don’t care.” Me: “Would you like to go for a walk in the woods?” She: “I don’t care.” Me: “What say we take off all our clothes and do the nasty?!” She: “I don’t care.” I suppose she had been marinated in lifelong apathy via genetic inheritance, according to what she told me one fine day, but she could be a caring person if the need arose. I gained a better understanding of caring, and a permanent dislike of this “I don’t care” pronouncement from the woman I loved. The latter is still like an open wound...
I had another girlfriend who would say, “Take care” every time we parted company, either in person or on the phone. I think she cared about me, otherwise why would she say such a thing? She loved me, and she wanted me to take care of myself, until the time we would meet again. After so many years of hearing, “I don’t care,” it was positively refreshing to hear “Take care.” Aren’t women supposed to be the caregivers in this human gender play we are privy to? Isn’t that at least one of their traditional roles in society? If it is, I would expect a little caring to come with the female clothing, comportment, and alleged feelings we CD’ers are coming in contact with on a daily basis. Under the queer circumstances, how can a MtF crossdresser, TG or not, possibly say something like “I don’t care?” I don’t get it...
I can understand someone not caring about something I (or someone else) wrote, but why make the effort to express that in writing? It tells me that you, the MtF crossdresser, my fellow peer, a person who has a lot in common with me, and possibly imbued with sensitivities akin to mine, is going out of their way to hurt MY feelings. I would expect better from a “sister,” but I guess I’m too naïve to be amongst you all. I mean, this may not be the most noble of human endeavors, but it is certainly valid and thus worthy of respect. When someone says (or writes) “I don’t care,” it has the same effect as pulling the rug out from under my feet, or throwing a bucket of cold water on the fire, the fire being any euphoria I’m trying to feel. Does it make YOU happy when you hurt someone? I mean, I came here to CARE, or express caring, somewhat against my birth gender, and meet others who are equally solicitous...
I care about other MtF crossdressers, because I happen to be one of them. They say that care belongs primarily to the intellect, and here, in this secluded forbidden oasis, our intellects do the meeting and greeting. Since I care about YOU, I will choose my words very carefully. I have high regard for you, my sisters, for we are inclined to DO something largely inexplicable, namely crossdress. Since what we undertake is NOT easy, and never has been easy, we need to care about each other – I can’t see you, I can’t touch you, but I can communicate my caring feelings by way of words. I have special regard for your feelings, and I attribute this to my crossdressing – something comes along with the dressing, or the act of dressing unleashes certain GOOD feelings that I welcome. I wanted this to happen, and it did...
I don’t know, maybe I’m just overly sensitive. I didn’t expect other crossdressers to be apathetic about the feelings of others – why dress if you’re not going to at least acknowledge something beyond the feminine trappings you admire? It seems logical to me, but apathy may exist in large quantities, disproportionate to the feelings of caring that one may wish to take on. I suppose I come here because I’m concerned about my crossdressing sisters, much like I care for my own beloved sister in this very house – she is a caregiver (a nurse), and I admire her. I want her to be happy, of course, and on this site I strive to influence others like myself, using the happiness I feel as a catalyst. I hope I come across that way. I won’t say “I don’t care,” and I won’t write it, either. I might say, “Who cares?” on occasion, but only as a decent probing question, and not a wanton declaration of negativity. No, I will not and shall not go out of my way to hurt YOUR feelings – the day I stop crossdressing will be the day I stop caring, and the day I stop caring will be the day I stop living. After that, I shall cease to care...
Do you care about others? Do you care about yourself? Do you care about anything?
PS - This was inspired by an anonymous, yet careless, member. Take care...[/SIZE]
