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Thread: Love and understanding

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013

    Smile Love and understanding

    I just wanted to share this. I finally started going out in public all dolled up a few months back. I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I've been going to the same AA group for a little over 13 years. Everyone there has only known me as David. It's a large group and I have many many friends there, none of which had a clue that I am a crossdresser. When I decided to start going out as Lynn, I didn't have the courage to go to my group so I started going to the Lambda group. After a month or so of this I said to myself, what the hell, and walked on in to my home group! Needless to say, it freaked a lot of people out! I must say its been a great experience. A woman came up to me after tonights meeting and said, " I think it's wonderful what you've done. You are getting a lot of people to re-evaluate thier prejudices. I applaud your courage." What a compliment! These people liked me before and Im the same person now, just dressed different. The love and acceptance I've been getting there is wonderful.

  2. #2
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Good for you, I am sure it took a lot of courage, but you have something to be proud of.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Overlord Bree Wagner's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Washington D.C.
    That's a great story and a great message. Thanks for sharing it!


  4. #4
    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Ontario Canada
    It was a wonderful councillor at rehab that made me realize that my drinking was a response to denying my GD. I tried SO hard to be one of the guys, but I had to dull the pain with copious amounts of Jack's. It was he, who suggested that I just go with being who I really am. After a 28 day program, I started going to meetings en femme. Every one was super supportive, specially when I told them about the booze/denial/gender triumvirat. 18 years sober. I haven't gone to meetings in years, but they are miraculous. I'm glad you've found the strength and the help.-Celeste

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    AA groups are self help groups and a drinking problem can stem from a lot of stressful situations.
    I am not entirely surprised that they are coming around and accepting eho you are.
    Think of the wife bashers and others there and how they are accepted in a slightly different way.
    I also say good for you and may you always give each other support when needed.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #6
    Total Shoe-Hound! :) Theresa_W's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Adirondack Mtns. of Central, NY
    Good for you! That is simply wonderful! Thank you for sharing. I, myself am a recovering alcoholic (almost 4 years) and like Celeste, I would drown myself in beer to numb my feelings. I have no doubt in my mind that GID is directly related to my alcoholism.

    I have thought about sharing this in my home group, and would love to go en femme. However, being that this town is so small, (some meetings are only 2-4 people) and as much as there's not supposed to be any judgement, a lot of the members of this group do judge. And they attend every meeting. (Some are sicker than others.)

    I came close to doing it on Halloween, when I stopped by a members house while taking the kids trick or treating and he asked me if I wanted to got to the meeting. But I decided against it, because I didn't want it to be seen as a joke or just a silly costume. (I was dressed as a 50's roller skating car hop) I got a lot of compliments, and was told that I looked really good. But, it's not how I would dress if I were to go as I would like to. Unfortunately, I live so far up in the mountains I would have to drive quite a long way to go to another meeting and its just not worth the hassle.

    Again, congrats! You are an inspiration.


  7. #7
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    The OC, California
    Now there are tales in these pages in which either the protagonist or others who comment proclaim some semblance of bravery but the reality is that your actions are the epitome of bravery in our world. Congrats on taking such a bold step, and of course thanks so much for sharing it with all of us.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  8. #8
    Woman and loving it Jennifer Marie P.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Central Jersey
    Thats courage.Thanks for sharing.
    Pinkessence Transliving Urnotalone

  9. #9
    Silver Member DanaR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Shopping at the mall, in the Pacific NW USA
    Thanks for sharing with us, that is so cool!
    Dana Ryan

  10. #10
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    N Boulder Colorado
    we have to be comfortable in our own skin and accept who were are in life to be happy. Sounds like you are coming to terms with yourself which is great and very brave. Congrats! Share some of those "dolled up" pics when you sure the encouragement here will go a long way on your journey of self discovery.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Foxglove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Hi, Lynn! Congratulations! It is so nice to get acceptance, isn't it?

    I just wanted to point out something for someone else who might be in a situation like yours. When I came out of the closet, rather than just suddenly appearing among people done up, I went around to a number of people to inform them ahead of time what I was going to do. One advantage of this method to me was that it gave me the chance to gauge their reaction beforehand. If it had been consistently hostile, I might well have had a re-think about my plans. Fortunately, I found everybody very friendly and accepting.

    It also gave people a chance to ask me questions, and several of them did. "What exactly is transgenderism?", etc. So having prepared the ground, I went ahead with my plans.

    I'm just saying this so that someone who would like to come out will be aware that there are different ways of going about it. It's always hard to know which way will be best, or even if there is a best way. Each person will have to assess their own situation and try and decide for themselves.

    I'm really happy that things worked out so well for you. It offers you the chance to find a great deal of happiness.

    Best wishes, Annabelle

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