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Thread: Do you think you should have been born female?

  1. #1
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    Do you think you should have been born female?

    I realize that most crossdressers don't contemplate any surgery, but yet many may wish they have been born as genetic females-should would make life easier, I think. Thoughts? you?

  2. #2
    Silver Member darla_g's Avatar
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    Can't say i wish i was a genetic female. I like who i am and i like to CD. Wouldn't quite be the same any other way.

  3. #3
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Without a doubt, and I had an understanding of that since I was little.
    The question then becomes "What are you going to do about it?"

    Life certainly would not have been any easier though, more correct perhaps.

  4. #4
    Member LIKETODRESS2's Avatar
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    Everyday I wake up I wish i was borned a female

  5. #5
    Member GroovyChristy's Avatar
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    Yes, I do. I believe I am female in mind and personality, but unfortunately not body. I want to be treated like a woman. All I can do about it is dress like one and hopefully become presentable. Eventually I may consider transition, but it's not possible right now.
    Peace and love, - Christy

  6. #6
    Silver Member DebbieL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by harley47 View Post
    I realize that most crossdressers don't contemplate any surgery, but yet many may wish they have been born as genetic females-should would make life easier, I think. Thoughts? you?
    The key difference between a cross-dresser and a transsexual is that a cross-dresser only wants to appear female on a part time basis. The transsexual, if granted the magic wish of being able to live full time as a girl would gladly take that offer, even though she knew she could never be a man again.

    Personally, as I share in my book, I was about 2 years old when I would make dresses out of vacuum cleaner bags, skirts out of towels, I wanted to be a girl even then. I wanted to be pretty even then. I hated getting haircuts, because I thought all I had to do to be treated like a girl was grow my hair long.

    Like many transsexuals, I hung out with girls until I was about 6 years old, when it became a bad thing, and after than, when someone called me a "Sissy" it usually came with severe physical violence. The term "Sticks and Stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me" had obviously never been a Sissy - being called a Sissy told everybody where to throw the stones and who to hit with the sticks - sticks that were usually about 2 inches in diameter - like softball bats, baseball bats - or tree branches of similar size.

    I went into "Stealth mode" learning to hide my true identity so well that I eventually began to believe my own lies. However, when I started puberty, I hated turning male so much that I tried to commit suicide - about 200 times. Somehow I survived despite my best efforts. I enjoyed giving other women pleasure, but didn't respond to their initiatives. I couldn't have an orgasm with a woman until I was 21, and even then she had to tie me to a bed and wear an outfit that I wanted to wear. When she found out that I was a dresser, she dropped me like a hot potato. Left a note on my car.

    It took 2 years to work up the nerve to try sex again, this time with a tom-boy who liked to dress and act more like a boy than a girl. I had hoped that she was transgendered and would accept me for being transgendered. She pretended to, but after about a year, she realized this wasn't just a "Phase" and lost all desire to have sex with me, and vice versa. We did it 2-3 times a year. In her words it was "So he'll remember what he isn't getting". When we did have sex it usually had a price far higher than I really wanted to pay. Having a baby, a brand new car, a daughter, moving to New York (where transgender rights were protected) to Colorado (where transgender parents could be declared dead to their children and ALL visitation rights revoked - but no reduction in child support). She even tried to rape me twice. Once I got over the panic, I ended up enjoying it, which she hated. She even had an affair, which I didn't try to stop, if it meant keeping her. Finally, she told me she was going to marry her boyfriend. I did make her wait a year - hoping she would change her mind.

    After the divorce, I went to gender counseling, and began the process of transition. I was living 128 (168 hours/week - 40 hours at work) in Real Life Experience as a woman. I even found a bisexual woman who shared her lesbian lovers with me. I was ready to start hormones, when my wife showed me a letter from a social worker, addressed to a conservative judge - recommending supervised visitation because my visits were harming the kids. With supervised visitation, the supervisor would have found any excuse - ESPECIALLY hints of cross-dressing - to revoke visitation entirely - without reducing my child support.

    The child support left me with no money for electrolysis, therapists, hormones, or surgeries anyway. I stopped the transition - moved away for what I had originally planned to be 6 months, and after I left, my ex-wife outed me to my son, threatened to put him in a foster home (her husband's sister) - and Colorado revoked all civil rights for the GLBT community. I talked to my kids on the phone.

    If I had known in 1977, what I know now, I would have tried to get out of Colorado to NY or San Francisco and transitioned then.

    Even as recently as 2 years ago, I would have told you I was a cross-dresser - even though I knew differently. However, if - any time between 1990 and today, I had won the lottery, one of the first things on my shopping list would have been the sex change.
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  7. #7
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    For me, no. One gets taken a lot more seriously as a male. I'm not really a physical person in terms of being highly grounded in or valuing physical things, so to be taken more credibly intellectually and artistically is something I wouldn't wish to lose. And one really does get taken less seriously as a woman on average. So, would I have achieved what I have achieved if I started there? Plus, there are other practicalities of life. I can wander around at night and not really feel threatened. People I'm involved with don't think they have a right to "own" me, at least not in the same sense. I can feel safer traveling solo in a foreign country. All things I've just casually observed.

    Do you mean, however, what if I could be female and have none of the previous things be the case? Yeah, I would probably switch even if I could never switch back.

    However, if no one cared whether one was a CD'er or had a trans medical history, and there were no stigma to that, than that would be okay as well, I think.

    I'm okay with what I am in the meantime. I'm not physically dysphoric, which makes it easier. Perhaps in twenty years, technology will have transformed everything

  8. #8
    Member Robyn2006's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LIKETODRESS2 View Post
    Everyday I wake up I wish i was borned a female
    Goes for me too, every morning… with every breath.
    When lost, alone, or blue I know I can always get through the day, for I've always another shade of lipstick to make things right!

  9. #9
    Member Ann Louise's Avatar
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    I wish I'd have been born female, as I've long realized I was different from my male peer group, but I don't carry this realization as a burden. My recent "outing" has freed me from a great deal of the guilt and need for secrecy that I used to feel, and my new found freedom to dress (at home only, for now) is leading me to the realization that my femininity is much more than just the clothes I wear.

    My dressing is proving to be the key that has unlocked the feminine side of my heart. This forum is a major element in gaining the courage to turn that key. Thank you sisters for pointing the way. Elfin
    ​​ღϠ₡ღ✻ Ϡ₡Ϡ₡Ϡ₡Ϡ₡Ϡ₡✻ ღϠ₡ღ✻

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  10. #10
    love being a girly girl! Girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LIKETODRESS2 View Post
    Everyday I wake up I wish i was borned a female
    Quote Originally Posted by Robyn2006 View Post
    Goes for me too, every morning… with every breath.
    I absolutely agree! I wish I'd been born a girl. Every day, every morning and with every breath.
    I'm always a woman!

  11. #11
    Member cassexy's Avatar
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    well, i agree, i love being a female, love to be dressed as a female, i act feminine too. i am a total feminine

  12. #12
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    My first instinct is to say Yes as I think that I could have done all the things in life that I have done and still have been a female, but (always that but) then you have to think that I would not have my wife and children ( well I am assuming I would not ) so I don't really know what to say.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joanne f View Post
    My first instinct is to say Yes as I think that I could have done all the things in life that I have done and still have been a female, but (always that but) then you have to think that I would not have my wife and children ( well I am assuming I would not ) so I don't really know what to say.
    Actually, this ultimately the real answer for me, not just about the question asked, but everything. We would all be different, and who knows who that different person would be?

  14. #14
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JadeEmber View Post
    Actually, this ultimately the real answer for me, not just about the question asked, but everything. We would all be different, and who knows who that different person would be?
    Yes the more you think about it the more perplexing it gets as like you have said it would change everything , or you can assume it would , I believe that a female can done most things that a male can do so that would have not been a problem but then you have to think ,would I have wanted to do the same things so it changes every thing again , maybe I just think to much , thought you are meant to get senile in old age ( hey maybe I am that is why I am writing this )
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  15. #15
    Comedian Emma Beth's Avatar
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    My gut response to this thread is hell yeah, without hesitation.

    However, as the interesting turn of this thread sinks in; I'm not so sure. I can't help but be reminded of one of my favorite movies as a prime example of how life may be effected by this decision. Watching "Butterfly Effect" with Ashton Kutcher can be very thought provoking when you think about this question.

    My biggest thing to add when contemplating something like this would be to ask one simple follow up question. That would be, "Would the grass always be greener on the other side of the fence?"

  16. #16
    Lady in Being (7/20/17) AmyGaleRT's Avatar
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    Oh, I can't deny that I've wondered what it would have been like to have really been born as Amy. But wish I had been? I'm not so sure. For one thing, I have enjoyed a great deal of success in my career, doing something that I enjoy and am very good at. How much of my talent for what I do would have been altered by changing that XY to an XX? How much would it have been altered if I'd received the kind of socialization that a girl growing up in the 1970's and 1980's would have gotten? Would I really want to give that up? Would I have been happy doing something else? I've no way to know, and so any thought of wishing I'd been born female is tempered by the age-old caveat, "Be careful what you wish for...you might get it."

    - Amy
    Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
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    aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by darla_g View Post
    Can't say i wish i was a genetic female. I like who i am and i like to CD. Wouldn't quite be the same any other way.
    sums it up for me too

  18. #18
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    At first I thought, yes yes yes !!! My mother always wanted a girl. But would I have wanted to grow up as a female in the fifties and sixties. I don't think so. I then realized that I have the best of both worlds. AmyGailRT hit it right on the nose. In my field there were very few opportunities for women (at that time) Now; if I could be reborn here in 2013, I might think differently.

  19. #19
    Member CD Kelley's Avatar
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    I am very happy with who I am. I like things a little on the femme side but am mostly male.
    The minute you think of giving up think of the reason you held on for so long

  20. #20
    Member Maria S's Avatar
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    Part of me says yes and part says no. The obvious thing is being born female I would never have met my lovely wife. Also I think CDs appreciate feminine things more that GGs just take for granted.

    Maria

  21. #21
    Always be happy Mistybtm's Avatar
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    Yes I do wish I was born A female. I am finally on HRT but maybe waited to late to start ( 50 ) I have always fantasied what it would be like to be A genetic female. Will I go all the way at my age I doubt it but if i was in my 20D's again definitely would.
    Mistybtm

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    I was. . .just with the wrong plumbing that caused my early life conditioning to be skewed.

  23. #23
    New Member VikkiDave's Avatar
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    Most definitely. My parents told me many times that I should have been born female when I was young.
    Every morning we wake up, healthy or not, given the opportunity to remake ourselves. We do not have to let the person we were yesterday define who we are today. The promise of each new dawn can be squandered by repeating patterns and habits that have always held us back, or we can decide that today we will finally treat ourselves with kindness. -Wheelchair Kamakaze

  24. #24
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Yes, I think I should have been...yes, I wish I had been. But I'm not and wasn't so I deal with it and express who I am in various ways.
    Unlike my TS sisters I don't feel that I was born in the wrong body, just would have preferred to be been in a different one.
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  25. #25
    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    I've known since a very early age that something was seriously wrong. Me being male is proof that God has a sense of humor.-Celeste

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