I want a Boyfriend 0.o?

[AllisontheGoddess]

Lately I've been having these urges like I want a BF or something. I'm not really attracted to guys (Sometimes I do show signs of conditional bi when I'm dressed) ,but I'm dating a girl right now , which makes it even weirder =/. I'm not even dressed and I'm getting these feelings! Also I even get more sensual when I'm alone--like I'm daydreaming for my " Prince Charming " to come sweep me off my feet. One minute it's exactly what I want and then the next it completely freaks me out. I'm definitly not Gay but I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm Bi either, since it only comes in short bursts. Does this happen to anyone else when they dress or even when they aren't dressed?

[GondorRachel]

Yeah, I know the feeling, minus the dating a girl right now bit... I think of myself as straight, maybe a touch bi, but sometimes the pink fog rolls in super thick it seems and well...you know.

[ReineD]

The good news is you both are communicating so there is a significantly less likelihood of your SO going behind your back on the issue.

Thanks Lexi. My SO and I do not cheat. We made that commitment to one another. If either one of us wanted to have sex with someone else badly, we'd terminate our relationship first. This would be the right thing to do.

Thanks for the rest of your input!

[Tracii G]

To the original poster: Dealing with gender identity and all its facets is a never ending search at best.
I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for.

[SarahMarie42]

"Cognitive dissonance" is a phenomenon where self-concepts don't line up.

http://www.apa.org/pi/aids/resources...issonance.aspx

Read about social psychology, it's fun. And it makes one's statements/arguments more relevant.

[famousunknown]

Read about social psychology

I. Don't. Care.

[Nathalie Antoinette]

Thank you for your informed and civil contributions to this conversation, Sarah.

"Cognitive dissonance" is a phenomenon where self-concepts don't line up.

http://www.apa.org/pi/aids/resources...issonance.aspx

Read about social psychology, it's fun. And it makes one's statements/arguments more relevant.

[Janet161]

It seems perfectly natural to want to be with a man. If you are dressed as a girl and acting like a girl it is part of the natural progression to want a boyfriend. It is natural for a woman to want to be desired by a man. You are entitled to the same feelings.

[prene]

Yeah, I know the feeling, minus the dating a girl right now bit... I think of myself as straight, maybe a touch bi, but sometimes the pink fog rolls in super thick it seems and well...you know.

I feel just like u.
I know what u mean.
I have gotten even a little envious with my last gf when we were intimate ... I kind of wished I was her.
This can be so confusing. LOL

[Lorileah]

I would not worry about it. it sounds like when you are dressed you start thinking of things you believe a woman would think about. Maybe later you will actually get a boyfriend but it won't be soon. It isn't unusual in your mind. Doing it will be a lot harder,

I am at a point where the right man could work, but he will have to work hard for it. This is because I have been treated like a Princess by two men and I liked it. But then I have never had anything against dating men who meet certain criteria

[Gretchen_To_Be]

I enjoy partially dressing as a woman, and would very much enjoy dressing entirely as one and being altogether convincing. But my internal fantasies always revolve around a mythical woman being drawn to my male true self camouflaged by my feminine accouterments. I never fantasize about men or have ever thought about having a boyfriend. Maybe you are gay or bi and just need the right circumstances to let it happen and accept it?

[GroovyChristy]

I know the feeling, and it's not just when I'm in girl's clothes. I consider myself slightly bisexual. Every now and then I will be attracted to a guy. I've been intimate with a couple guys and it was pretty great. Maybe you're just curious. There's nothing wrong with it.

[AllyCDTV]

Saw this on TED yesterday and it seems to really explain a lot about the straight/bi/gay issue. http://www.ted.com/talks/io_tillett_...tm_source=t.co

[Jenniferathome]

Saw this on TED yesterday and it seems to really explain a lot about the straight/bi/gay issue. http://www.ted.com/talks/io_tillett_...tm_source=t.co

But ...
Artist iO Tillett Wright has photographed 2,000 people who consider themselves somewhere on the LBGTQ spectrum and asked many of them: Can you assign a percentage to how gay or straight you are? Most people, it turns out, consider themselves to exist in the gray areas of sexuality, not 100% gay or straight. Which presents a real problem when it comes to discrimination: Where do you draw the line?

Well, if you ask 2000 white people how white are they, they'll likely come up with a range of whiteness. Kind of a self serving question. Now, had she randomly asked 2,000 people across the planet earth, then she may have a data point. Albeit a very small sample and irrelevant statistically.

[sandra-leigh]

Artist iO Tillett Wright has photographed 2,000 people who consider themselves somewhere on the LBGTQ spectrum and asked many of them: Can you assign a percentage to how gay or straight you are? Most people, it turns out, consider themselves to exist in the gray areas of sexuality, not 100% gay or straight. [...] Now, had she randomly asked 2,000 people across the planet earth, then she may have a data point.

It has been done, a fair number of times. First was 50 years ago, by Kinsey et. al., the so-called Kinsey Reports. Wikipedia's summary of the stats is:

The reports also state that nearly 46% of the male subjects had "reacted" sexually to persons of both sexes in the course of their adult lives, and 37% had at least one homosexual experience. 11.6% of white males (ages 20–35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) throughout their adult lives. The study also reported that 10% of American males surveyed were "more or less exclusively homosexual for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55" (in the 5 to 6 range).

7% of single females (ages 20–35) and 4% of previously married females (ages 20–35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) on Kinsey Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale for this period of their lives. 2 to 6% of females, aged 20–35, were more or less exclusively homosexual in experience/response, and 1 to 3% of unmarried females aged 20–35 were exclusively homosexual in experience/response.

Approximately 6000 females were surveyed.

Criticisms have been made of Kinsey's scale. One of the alternative studies included "Laumann et al. (1994) found that of the 8.6% of women reporting some same gender sexuality, 88% reported same gender sexual attraction, 41% reported some same gender sexual behaviour and 16% reported a lesbian or gay identity."

Thus, there is serious reason to suspect that Jennifer's opinion that "the bisexuals are a very small niche" is not in accordance with what studies have found.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Again, I have to ask, why are we analyzing this to death? Is there an unfulfilled need to fit into a specific box? I've come out to around 10 GG's from my past and present who have have told me, "BE YOURSELF!" I'm actually going shopping dressed with a GG friend I've known since high school over 40 years ago! She has even supported me to just "BE!" They've also told me to get rid of the mental baggage and to be who I am and just get over it! That's what I'm doing. And I'm FINALLY loving and being who I am.

Cheryl Ann

[SarahMarie42]

Hey, hey -- there's no need for hostility over someone's sexual exploration/fantasies. The human psyche, and the sexual inclinations which stem therefrom, is/are tremendously complex. I doubt anyone can express certainty over whether or not sexuality "works a certain way" and be credible unless they're perhaps a neuroscientist who has shown that sexual feelings and associations remain consistent where all other mental states are variable. Unless you can prove that, you must take the approach of cognitive psychology and take Allison's statements as to her thoughts and feelings at face value.

P.S. The fact that she's willing to explore this issue at all, let alone in a public forum where others will offer their opinions, serves as evidence that she would not be "ashamed of being gay". She merely wants clarification, as she needs to sort out whatever cognitive dissonance she may be experiencing.

[Ressie]

Yeah there are conditions under which anyone could engage in acts with the same gender. Use your imagination.

[famousunknown]

Hey, hey -- there's no need for hostility over someone's sexual exploration/fantasies. The human psyche, and the sexual inclinations which stem therefrom, is/are tremendously complex. I doubt anyone can express certainty over whether or not sexuality "works a certain way" and be credible unless they're perhaps a neuroscientist who has shown that sexual feelings and associations remain consistent where all other mental states are variable. Unless you can prove that, you must take the approach of cognitive psychology and take Allison's statements as to her thoughts and feelings at face value.

P.S. The fact that she's willing to explore this issue at all, let alone in a public forum where others will offer their opinions, serves as evidence that she would not be "ashamed of being gay". She merely wants clarification, as she needs to sort out whatever cognitive dissonance she may be experiencing.

"cognitive dissonance" huh? righttttt

[Lucy Lou]

i haven't had a sexual experience with a guy. i want to be fully dressed, wig, make up, lingerie, stockings, perfume, jewelry, painted nails and be a women. I have been thinking how much I would enjoy the experience for so long, but where I live it is so difficult to find anyone who would be accepting of a sexual liaison. One day i will do it because I want it so much. For now it is just in my head and that does fulfill the urge whenever it arises. It is a difficult.

[kellycan27]

I know the feeling, and it's not just when I'm in girl's clothes. I consider myself slightly bisexual. Every now and then I will be attracted to a guy. I've been intimate with a couple guys and it was pretty great. Maybe you're just curious. There's nothing wrong with it.

Slightly bi? Isn't that like being a little bit pregnant? Lol

[PINKmollyGurl]

When I'm in girl mode...I CRAVE men. I wish there was a cute boy laying next to me right now. Lol

[Mikaylagirl]

Slightly bi? Isn't that like being a little bit pregnant? Lol

Hahahaha...exactly

I like boys and girls. Wether I'm "en femme" or not. Why limit myself to one gender? Life is short...And I'm grabbing it by the...well,we all know ;>)

[Being Paige]

Well I feel that I am bi and I do have fantacy's, deams and thoughts while dressed about sexual encounters with men. I don't have these when not dressed at all.
I have had acted on these recently and enjoyed my experiences, of course always playing safe. I love the role as a woman and being treated as a lady by men.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Reine, it's difficult to say. Men, just like women come in all shapes and sizes. And for me it would make a difference about a man's approach to me and how he would treat me. Yes, looks are important as I would not want to be with someone who doesn't take care of themselves with hygene or manners. I would also want someone that I could feel protected by, maybe someone strong. Because I feel I am "programmed" to be feminine and female I would want a man I could trust and treat me like a lady, again with respect. Clothing wouldn't really matter. I would want to have him enjoy being with a woman and that is where clothing might make a difference for him knowing he has a classy lady who has lots of self esteem holding onto his arm. When the lights go dim I'd just make him glad he was a man, and me a woman, and have him make love to me, and me to him. There would have to be some chemistry to ignite the relationship. We could spend time as two guys later (me in drab) at a ball game knowing we share something special. That's the best way I can say it. This is who I am.

Cheryl Ann