I want a Boyfriend 0.o?

[LexiTV]

Ah now I understand your point. I think you are putting too much emphasis on the bisexual. To me bisexual is anyone that CAN have sex with both genders. It doesnt mean identifies as an interest in both sexes. Going back to my prison analogy. I would imagine a straight man in prison that has sex with another man while in prison will still identify as straight. However, to me he is bisexual because he can and has had sex with a member of the same sex even if he never does so again. I can see the confusion on the word bisexual but I really have no other word that describes what I am talking about. If you are pure gay or straight most wouldnt be able to cross the line no matter what in my opinion.

And again thats it, opinion. I think yours has validity and its one of those things we will not know because one thing is for sure: Blind poll or not, people are shown to give the answers they want or expect to be the right answer under the circumstance versus giving an honest answer.

I do understand your theory. You believe that most straights and gays can move into the bi "zone" easily. My theory is quite the contrary. If you consider the self reported statistics: 10% of the general population is gay, 90% are straight, bisexuals will suck up a little of both those stats, but to argue that gay only or straight only is the minority seems crazy to me. If you are straight or gay, going the other way, for most, is not on the table. Regardless of how many years one is locked up. If you are bi, more power to you, you have twice the odds of getting a date as the rest of us. But my opinion, belief, theory, whatever is that the bisexuals are a very small niche.

[LexiTV]

Haha aint it the truth? I find it a very odd thing that gays and lesbians who push for acceptance of their lifestyle but yet in my experience many are very unaccepting of bi's and even transgendered people. Not all obviously but enough to make one scratch their head and say wth!

In theory that makes complete sense. But it's often the case that bi people are (for want of a better word) shuned by both the straight and gay community. A bi-sexual guy will often experience women who don't want to date him because they are scared that they will never be able to completely fulfill his sexual desires. And many gay men won't go anywhere near a man who identifies himself as being bisexual. Often it's the case that the only way a bisexual person will meet a partner is if (s)he doesn't announce themselves as bisexual. That is, they lie to any potential partner.

[Andria]

I've been trying to deal with something similar for ages. But, I do think of men at times even when I'm not dressed girlie. I've accepted the fact that I'm bisexual, but its tough to deal with when I tell myself that I shouldn't be. It doesn't help the fact the some guys want me as a their girlfriend (when I'm all girlie), or they want me as their boyfriend (when I'm in boy-mode). I can't clone myself..

All I can say is take your time, and don't force anything. Make a conscience decision before you do something. And its good to speak to people here that hopefully can help.

[AllyCDTV]

Saw this on TED yesterday and it seems to really explain a lot about the straight/bi/gay issue. http://www.ted.com/talks/io_tillett_...tm_source=t.co

[Jenniferathome]

Saw this on TED yesterday and it seems to really explain a lot about the straight/bi/gay issue. http://www.ted.com/talks/io_tillett_...tm_source=t.co

But ...
Artist iO Tillett Wright has photographed 2,000 people who consider themselves somewhere on the LBGTQ spectrum and asked many of them: Can you assign a percentage to how gay or straight you are? Most people, it turns out, consider themselves to exist in the gray areas of sexuality, not 100% gay or straight. Which presents a real problem when it comes to discrimination: Where do you draw the line?

Well, if you ask 2000 white people how white are they, they'll likely come up with a range of whiteness. Kind of a self serving question. Now, had she randomly asked 2,000 people across the planet earth, then she may have a data point. Albeit a very small sample and irrelevant statistically.

[AshleeM]

Don't worry, I'm sure many of us have felt this way. Recently, I've been thinking about what a relationship with another crossdresser of the same sex would be like. On one hand I've never been with anyone with a penis but on the other I'm quite fed up with GG's. The majority of them have no desire to understand me and just expect me to keep up the status quo of making babies, working on cars, and getting a house in the suburbs. I like the first part but the other two sound like nightmares!

I feel like a 50's era housewife for saying this but I don't want that! I want to go explore the world and live life to its fullest, you can't do that while wearing the shackle of traditional marriage. And by god I'm tired of being the rock of every relationship, sometimes I wanna come home from work and have someone hold me and tell me its alright, instead of the other way around.

Its a twisted road we all have to walk but hopefully we can make it to the end and find what we've been working towards.

[AlexisGray]

It's hard to tell you what your sexuality is.. That's going to take some searching on your own. Personally I consider myself what's known as pansexual. I don't think desiring to be, or be like, a woman has made me desire the company of a man, it just made it more socially acceptable. However I found the truth is I'm attracted most to people who aren't afraid to blur the lines that our society has made. So far the most attractive thing I've come across is actually a friend of mine who is a gg who at one point almost took steps to change genders, but now just does herself up however she feels that day.
I think these questions are a normal part of learning ourselves, which is something trans people tend to dedicate more time to than people who are focused on other things.

[ReineD]

The good news is you both are communicating so there is a significantly less likelihood of your SO going behind your back on the issue.

Thanks Lexi. My SO and I do not cheat. We made that commitment to one another. If either one of us wanted to have sex with someone else badly, we'd terminate our relationship first. This would be the right thing to do.

Thanks for the rest of your input!

[CassandraSmith]

I think it's part of the role play. The way love works if you're honest is that attraction happens on its own. That's the missing piece for you--to actually meet a guy you're attracted to. Until then, it's really just part of the fantasy side of CDing.

In fact, I think that if you try to contrive an attraction or scenario, it could be a big let down or not really feel right. So my advice to all young ladies: guard your heart.

Lately I've been having these urges like I want a BF or something. I'm not really attracted to guys (Sometimes I do show signs of conditional bi when I'm dressed) ,but I'm dating a girl right now , which makes it even weirder =/. I'm not even dressed and I'm getting these feelings! Also I even get more sensual when I'm alone--like I'm daydreaming for my " Prince Charming " to come sweep me off my feet. One minute it's exactly what I want and then the next it completely freaks me out. I'm definitly not Gay but I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm Bi either, since it only comes in short bursts. Does this happen to anyone else when they dress or even when they aren't dressed?

[Tracii G]

To the original poster: Dealing with gender identity and all its facets is a never ending search at best.
I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for.

[MsJanessa]

I could not disagree more. There is a spectrum, no doubt, but there is a cliff from straight or gay into bi.

More like a gentle slope than a cliff for me

[Julie Gaum]

Must back Jenn though bi-sexuality is probably a higher percent than she gives credit. I always become amused at the those who
"rationale away" the gray area for it only exists in that fantasy land which doesn't push anybody into one category or another. As for the island and prison bit: Johnny Cash (one of my favorites) wrote a song after putting on shows at many prisons and getting to know a lot about inmate's feelings. The song, "A Guy Named Sue" was really directed to those inmates now out of stir who had been for months or years
the sex object for one or more prisoners. His lyrics, if I remember them correctly, empathizes with those poor souls and tells them that they are now free and can become hetero (my interpretation) again without being worried that they have "turned". In effect, forced sex,
rape if you will, doesn't for most change their future sexual preferences. Yes, a few liked it but I dare say they were gay or bi before
being confined. I'll let some other sister address the island situation for it happens one in a billion compared to the too common prison experience.
Julie

[LaraPeterson]

Hi Allison, I'm with Tracii; and, I believe that all of us who dress, at whatever level, have some sort of gender dysphoria (that's bound to raise the ire of somebody). That said, I too hope that you find what you are looking for; but be warned, your tastes will likely change as the years go by. When I first started dressing, I had no clue what it was all about because of my young age. As a teen, I just liked the clothes. As a 20-something, I got a sexual charge out of it--couldn't really identify it, but sure did enjoy it. In my 30's & 40's, I thought more about what it would be like to be with a man. I'll soon be 50 and I've had a couple of "boyfriends." One was a very casual and sporadic, the other somewhat serious.

I suppose it is my age, but now I'm more inclined to be with a man than with a woman (I've been married for a long time, but that is another story). I know I don't have to be dressed to be with a man, but I prefer it. In my mind, part of being a woman is looking the part. And while I know I'll never truly be one, I can dream.

BTW, this whole thing about being wired one way or another is, as I put in another post, a bunch of phooey. There is NO science to support a genetic disposition or predisposition toward homosexuality in any form. It is ALL about the decisions we make (more fodder for ire). Just remember, whatever you do, have fun!

[laura.lapinski]

I think I'd more prefer a CD girlfriend than a boyfriend.

[AmyGaleRT]

Allison, I think that a lot of this is you getting more in touch with your feminine side, to the point where you're even thinking like a woman...and most women seem to like having a boyfriend.

I wouldn't worry too much about the fantasies though. Acting on them might be something else again...

- Amy

[kellycan27]

I know the feeling, and it's not just when I'm in girl's clothes. I consider myself slightly bisexual. Every now and then I will be attracted to a guy. I've been intimate with a couple guys and it was pretty great. Maybe you're just curious. There's nothing wrong with it.

Slightly bi? Isn't that like being a little bit pregnant? Lol

[PINKmollyGurl]

When I'm in girl mode...I CRAVE men. I wish there was a cute boy laying next to me right now. Lol

[CassandraSmith]

Lately I've been having these urges like I want a BF or something. I'm not really attracted to guys (Sometimes I do show signs of conditional bi when I'm dressed) ,but I'm dating a girl right now , which makes it even weirder =/. I'm not even dressed and I'm getting these feelings! Also I even get more sensual when I'm alone--like I'm daydreaming for my " Prince Charming " to come sweep me off my feet. One minute it's exactly what I want and then the next it completely freaks me out. I'm definitly not Gay but I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm Bi either, since it only comes in short bursts. Does this happen to anyone else when they dress or even when they aren't dressed?

Sometimes, I'd like to just get to experience a guy treating me like a woman but if it went truly sexual, it would repulse me. For me, it's about getting the full woman experience more than something about my own attraction to men (really more of a complete lack of attraction). Besides, sexual encounters are always messy one way or another and I hate messes ;-)

Allison, I think that a lot of this is you getting more in touch with your feminine side, to the point where you're even thinking like a woman...and most women seem to like having a boyfriend.

I wouldn't worry too much about the fantasies though. Acting on them might be something else again...

- Amy

Wise words from one of my favorite people here.

[CarolynO]

Lately I've been having these urges like I want a BF or something. I'm not really attracted to guys (Sometimes I do show signs of conditional bi when I'm dressed) ,but I'm dating a girl right now , which makes it even weirder =/. I'm not even dressed and I'm getting these feelings! Also I even get more sensual when I'm alone--like I'm daydreaming for my " Prince Charming " to come sweep me off my feet. One minute it's exactly what I want and then the next it completely freaks me out. I'm definitly not Gay but I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm Bi either, since it only comes in short bursts. Does this happen to anyone else when they dress or even when they aren't dressed?

It happens to me too.I dream of having a boyfriend to wine,dine and sweep me off my feet.A kind thoughtful gentleman to hold me in his arms and smother me with a long hungry soul kissAnd it may or may not come true for i have a male admirer on my visitor page.I'm looking for romance,foreplay but nothing sexual.But here's my POV on these kinds of relationships that progress into the bedroom and it ties my mind in knots.
1.sexual encounters require that the clothes come off,that means the femme illusion is destroyed.
2.that means strictly gay sex-not appealing in the least for me
3.After climax,the desire is gone
Sound like a paradox does'nt it?
xxooCarolyn

[ArleneRaquel]

Until I went fulltime, well almost 24/7 I was never with a man, or much thought about it, since my rebirth* I crave having a BF or MORE.

*By rebirth I mean living as a woman.

[Lex321]

For me, I would only be interested in a CD. Hairy men and men in general are a big turn off. Men a girl mode is a different story. I am happily married so it is just a fantasy for me. I wish before I got married I was more involved in a community like this. Have a CD friend might have been fun.

[jenni_xx]

It happens to me too.I dream of having a boyfriend to wine,dine and sweep me off my feet.A kind thoughtful gentleman to hold me in his arms and smother me with a long hungry soul kissAnd it may or may not come true for i have a male admirer on my visitor page.I'm looking for romance,foreplay but nothing sexual.But here's my POV on these kind of relationships that progress into the bedroom and it ties my mind in knots.
1.sexual encounters require that the clothes come off,that means the femme illusion is destroyed.
2.that means strictly gay sex-not appealing in the least for me
3.After climax,the desire is dead
Sound like a paradox does'nt it?
xxooCarolyn

You know, before I was ever with a man and such desires were then only a fantasy, I was exactly the same as you.

You're number 3 - after climax, the desire is dead. I could totally relate to that. Until it actually happened. After I just sank into his arms and it was the most wonderous feeling in the world that I had experienced.

[famousunknown]

Lately I've been having these urges like I want a BF or something. I'm not really attracted to guys (Sometimes I do show signs of conditional bi when I'm dressed) ,but I'm dating a girl right now , which makes it even weirder =/. I'm not even dressed and I'm getting these feelings! Also I even get more sensual when I'm alone--like I'm daydreaming for my " Prince Charming " to come sweep me off my feet. One minute it's exactly what I want and then the next it completely freaks me out. I'm definitly not Gay but I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm Bi either, since it only comes in short bursts. Does this happen to anyone else when they dress or even when they aren't dressed?

"conditional bi" ???
sorry but I don't think such a condition exists.
I think you must be gay and having some guilt over that.

[jenni_xx]

"conditional bi" ???
sorry but I don't think such a condition exists.
I think you must be gay and having some guilt over that.

Sorry, but I completely disagree.

[famousunknown]

Sorry, but I completely disagree.

Disagree all you want. Clothing has nothing to do with your sexual urges. You can't be bi just when dressed and hetero otherwise.
It simply doesn't work that way.