These are people who said so, Allie, who said they would not enter into a relationship with a woman unless they were assured she would accept the CDing. Surely you've read those comments as well? I'm not saying that every crossdresser feels this way but there are a significant number who do, who have had bad relationships with non-accepting women.Originally Posted by AllieSF
Reine
My feelings are mostly the same as Carrie's. I never got married, but I think it was because of my crossdressing. Unfortunately, I'm not crazy about cats.
Karen Sue
Reine, this is where I am now, with a deep fear of rejection. Not so as a teen. I had few proper dates, and an occasional ONS or quickie. Never considered having a relationship then.
Leah
Be nice; It don't cost nothing.
I see where you are coming from. I agree that some may put dressing as a higher priority. However, since for many others it is something they have do and have even tried stopping, it is really a need to dress and not a matter of being more important than dating someone. I have heard many here state clearly that they would rather not CD because it interferes with everything else and cause more problems than the joy it brings when they can dress. It may be just a matter of semantics between importance (priority) and need (can't stop) while still very much wanting to date, plus the fears of what I mentioned in my first post here.
didn't affect me in the least. Only a handful of people know I do and I dated a lot in HS/College and was primarily a fetish dresser. Didn't really tell anyone until mid 20's, by then I dated over 10 people. Three who do know though are the ones I have been in longer relationships with (Over 2 years) and a couple fwb relationships. Some knew from day 1 others later. Dressing acceptance was never really on my mind until I got older. I would purge or tell. I still don't think it's a deal breaker.
Milage varies here, because I don't think I am as "out" as most of the people who post in MTF.
It was never a problem for me in high school. I was a crossdresser, but I never felt the need to worry about coming out. I guess I just figured it wasn't important to come out or anything. Many of my friends didn't really have a problem with crossdressing either. One of my female friends made at least two guys female with makeup
Having started with my first wife the summer of my Senior year it didn't effect me until we deviorced. From then on it did. If a woman didn't dress in a style that I liked I didn't bother with her and if I dated her and she started wearing thing that I didn't like I stopped seeing her. In short if she didn't wear what I liked on her or that I would have worn it was over. It worked for me my next wife was absolutily wonderful, supportive and accepting and the same after she passed away. With my current wife and we have been married now for 10 years and she accepts and pertisipates too.
Last edited by franlee; 02-06-2013 at 01:53 AM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Fran
It's worth something just being around to Fuss!
I was forbidden to date when in high school, I did manage to have a couple of girl friends, but that did not last long because my parents would not let me go out, and they wanted to go out on dates and I could not. All I remember is I was very horny, and I wanted to have a girlfriend, and be with her.
This made it easier for alleviate pressure in addition to provided us a good wall plug to talk about our feminine aspect. The leading cause however why I truly do this, in addition to that is just about the identical for many additional crossdressers, would be the erotic enjoyment that accompany this. Venturing out in public places clothed to be a girl is additionally extremely exciting and offers the enjoyment otherwise.
Actually, I didn't date girls or anyone else. I always pretty much kept to myself as I observed that a lot of my feelings were not consistent with boys my age. I felt though that if I got any close friends I would be hard pressed to explain my feelings I had thought my only option was to become a girl when learning about Christine Jorgensen and other TS's but kept that hidden, so CDing seemed to provide an outlet for my maternal feelings.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Pretty much, I did and still do avoid relationships. I had one that failed and she blamed it on my cd'ing even though it was just an "excuse". Both my ex wife and ex gf knew about it neither approved, so at that point I just say why hassle anyone else with my "problems". Kinda sounds like a downer but but its a difficult thing.
Hi,
Accepting that your different had a major aspect that would effect me in how i saw girls & other issues that would effect me through my life. & has done .
I saw girls as sisters not as girlfriends as in boy / girl friends, i was not a boy as would be normal or how i should have been . being intersex changes many issues & details of your life, how your percived was one how to express my self was another. being around boys or men was another, i contended with & still do though not near as much as i have, i.... hated.... being around men & thats from birth, & what happened to Mum & me.
At the time i had few friends of my age , more like i looked after others & helped them . yes i had three friends who i thought would like me for myself as a person not wether i was a boy / girl. how i was seen was not what i was , they would not have understood had they known any way, so no real girlfriends & that i belive was best for me, im over 65 so think back to then.
I was able to get married funny that, never thought i would or could, age 24, yes we have three grownup adults, & 9 grandkids so yes even some of us intersexed can help with haveing children , Jos bore our three. would have been 4 was not to be, .
As a female / male. it can be difficult for other's more so your partner, & was in our case, though we are through that now we are just two single women get on well, for now liveing apart. yet very close, as two sisters friends soul mates with family,
i mean after being to gether for 35 years married & known each other over 38 years, not something you just walk away from i cant any way, Jos means so much to me,
As a point of interest i never thought as a male nore could i , my hormones did work for me as intersexed, & changed or helped in my changes long before takeing any synthic meds, & im counted as a menopusal woman .
...noeleena...
Last edited by noeleena; 02-06-2013 at 07:21 AM.
Not so much in my teens but later on any girlfriend I had I will always have a rumage in secret through her wardrobe to see if she had anthing that would fit me.
Saying that I was about 16 and had my first serious girlfriend. Her parents were very open minded about what we got up to. One evening we were on her bed making a boy into a man (or is it a boy into a woman lol). When she was in the bathroom I put her silk pyjamas on thinking it might have an effect on the proceedings (remember I was only 16). She came back saw what I had done called for her dad and he chucked me out. Shame really we were of a similar size.
Maria
I didn't do much crossdressing but it had an affect on my confidence. I also didn't go on proper dates, but just hooked up with girls that were more aggressive than I was. Now days my wardrobe is getting too big to keep hidden, but there are also other reasons I don't want to get involved with anyone.
It was not crossdressing when I was in my teen years, it was more of a lingerie fetish. It was a struggle that defined who I am today so in the end it all worked out!
From my point of view, it's not that you were accepting and so he's settling for you... it's that you were supportive and that just made him appreciate and love you more. I mean.. I know that's how I was when I told my wife before we got married.
It wasn't a problem for me in high school. I dated a lot and never had a problem with women. I guess the pink fog never really entered my mind. Cd was more of a personal thing that I did when I had the time. Which I rarely did in high school. Surprisingly never affected me in dating.
Live, Laugh, Love.........
I never really had the courage/social skills to walk up to a girl and talk to her when I was a teen, although I would have loved to have a girl friend. Later on CDing did have a fear factor to it although for the most part I could do it on my own time...but ya, doing something like shaving your legs back int he 80's would have been a huge issue if you were discovered.
Chickie
I was always attracted to "girly" girls who dressed fashionably and in what I would consider a feminine manner, even back then - i.e. skirts, dresses, hose, heels etc. Being a budding crossdresser, I guess I was living vicariously though these girls at the time.
Of course, back in the 60's and 70's when I was dating, that was a non-brainer, as that was the era of miniskirts, tights, go-go boots, "hot pants" and big hair, and girls rarely wore pants. And if they did, it was usually jeans which would have been appropriate to the type of activity they might be doing at the time - hiking, horse-back riding, miscellaneous grubby chores etc. - and they (and those gawd-awful flip-flops) had not yet become the clothing of choice for everyday/everywhere wear as is the case today.
It also seems to me that back in those days, girls dressed either primly or sexily, as opposed to s.l.u.t.t.y (thank you - censor-bot!) which seems to be the norm nowadays, nor did they have the "potty-mouths" that are so common these days.
I also tended to be attracted to tall girls, probably as a result of a sub-conscious fantasy of possibly fitting into their clothes and shoes and borrowing them for myself from time to time. That never happened, my wife is 5'4" tall whereas I am 5'10", her dress size is 4 sizes below mine (16 vs. 10), and her shoe size is two sizes smaller (9 1/2 vs. 7 1/2). Go figure... ain't love strange!.
And as for those tall girls - if I had ended up marrying one of them, she'd likely be borrowing clothes from me at this point rather than the other way around, considering the varied and substantial female wardrobe that I have accumulated over the years.
Last edited by Leslie Langford; 02-06-2013 at 02:27 PM.
Boy, does this thread bring back some bad memories. But not to worry, Katie: my past isn't your fault, is it?
I did very little dating in high school and on into my 20's, and the few dates I had generally were an awful embarrassment. I'm trying to remember, but I don't think there was a single girl I dated more than once. Normally, you get three strikes. I only ever got one--but I have to admit it was always a big one. I don't blame the girls in question.
I was certainly lacking in confidence. There could have been various reasons for that.
This idea makes sense to me, but I wouldn't say my reason was fear that some girl might find out about me. I'd say that my heart certainly wasn't in dating. In high school, I had a vague awareness that I'd rather be a girl than date one. That full realization was still some years down the road, though.
Annabelle
I know that my dating girls/women was hindered by my desire to dress enfemme, but I did marry at the age of 22 and I stayed married until my wife's death almost 33 years later. During that time my crossdressing was very limited. I never talk her, but know I dress nearly 24/7 and have done so since 2003/04. I did find many girls/ladies attractive, but I knew where my ultimate future would be and I always desired, to varying degrees at different times to live as a woman. Btw in 6th grade my nun reprimanded moi for being too attracted to one female in particular. She was named Maureen and was of Irish descent and a brunette, and who also wore glasses.
Last edited by ArleneRaquel; 02-06-2013 at 03:12 PM.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
It pretty much destroyed my self esteem so I would say yes it affected dating a lot, as I had no confidence in myself.
I crossdressed all through high school and college. I think it affected my dating since I would act as a gentleman, the way I would have wanted to be treated if I were a woman on a date. I guess it gave me more empathy for the girls I was dating and boy did I envy their clothes and hair (it was the Big Hair 80's).
Finding the one-in-a-million who accepts you for who you are is not settling--it's winning!
Lainie
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever!
Lol I dont feel that way now, but you try explaining that to a 17-18 year old girl, it made sense in my head at the time, but we went through some things that quickly made those feelings go away.
11/15/12
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