[SIZE="2"]M: “I thought all women liked being called girls.”
F: “About as much as you like being called a boy by a member of my sex.”
M: “I don’t mind it.” (dialogue from The Cassandra Project by McDevitt & Resnick)
Sometimes I think of this place as a boys’ clubhouse, with an imaginary “no girls allowed” sign on the door. It isn’t exclusionist, of course, so GG’s wander into this No Man’s Land to complain about what we do from time to time. You know, “my boyfriend insists on crossdressing – please help me understand what’s going on,” or “I didn’t want this,” or “what’s wrong with you people, anyway, and can we get help for the afflicted?” Some GG’s even go so far as crashing the party, or pouring water on the glowing fire, or, in extreme cases, debunking cherished ideals right out in the open. What’s a boy/girl to do? I’d like to feel GOOD about my crossdressing, please...
There are many exceptions to what I have just described, i.e. GG’s who are genuinely supportive in a compassionate sense, but others send me around the bend. I get nervous when the real girls show up, and even more nervous when a friendly give-and-take erupts along the lines I have just described in the previous paragraph. Nearby, in other threads, the poor MtF is exasperated about being initially accepted, then not-so-accepted, by his confused, vacillating SO. Apparently a male dressing like a female is some sort of pestilence, an unwelcome blight that forms on the healthy leaves of gender expectations. The GG realizes she can’t accept MtF crossdressing in her midst, so she will be henceforth unable to understand it, no matter what the “afflicted” male might say...
I mean, I wouldn’t dream of going over to the FtM section and throwing my male-by-birth masculine “weight” around, couched in thinly-veiled sympathetic verbiage. No, I assume that they know what they’re doing, and, in any event, I don’t want to spoil their party. However, it seems to be much easier for everyone to understand why a girl (by birth) would wish to be a boy (or at least look like one) than it is to understand why a boy would wish to be a girl. GG’s seem to have a BIG problem with this relatively innocent exercise of boys wearing their clothes for pleasure, and I wonder why that is? Surely roads and paths beckon us to explore, bodies of water encourage us to take a dip now and then, and birds inspire us to fly, even though we are essentially Earthbound, so why is it so hard to understand why some of us boys would want to try on that dress over yonder?
Not every male (boy) feels this way, but some of us do, and it has nothing to do with upsetting the gender mores that GG’s have carefully maintained over the centuries. Well, how else can you explain this reluctance to accept something (MtF crossdressing) that is natural and inevitable? Perhaps gender correct-ness is the province of the female, and she is doing all she can to insure the survival of civilization. This means boys must be boys, and nothing less will be tolerated. Males are usually off trying to extinguish each other, or discredit each other, using their stupid ideas to keep the waters of civilization perpetually muddy. Meanwhile, the females watch from the shore (when they aren’t engaged in their own masculine power struggles), detached from all the male nonsense going on around them. This equates to the status quo, and procreation carries on apace, somehow, propelled by the instinct to survive. To be sure, females (girls) have a thankless task...
But, enter the MtF crossdresser, and the carefully choreographed gender ballet is disrupted at a stroke. She needs a HE, but he would rather be a she himself. Where does this leave the GG? Isn’t this just one more disgrace, one more insult, and one more ignominious slap in the face she is forced to endure? I imagine that when a man dresses as a woman, no matter how innocuous it may be, a GG’s whole sense of propriety comes into question, at least in her own mind. “What am I to do?” she might say, followed by, “What does he expect me to do?” Suddenly, we’re in a situation where roles are reversed, HE is subjugated, subject to approval, and she has hold of the familial and social reigns. Worse still, he’s wearing clothes she wouldn’t dream of wearing, bringing back a bygone era (not too long ago) when M and F clothing was strikingly dissimilar! In short, the world is upside down, and the GG, with her 21st century voice, WILL be speaking up...
I understand, but please let the boys wear their girl clothes. I could try to explain why the latter takes place, wasting my time in the process, but why bother? Unless you’re male by birth, how could you understand a need to slip out of your male gender, by way of appearance, and approximate something you either admire, or feel a kinship with, or perhaps secretly loath? Someone who has read this far may come to the conclusion that I dislike women to a certain degree. I don’t. My admiration of females, both in appearance and assimilation of better human characteristics, is assured and not subject to discussion. That being said, I don’t understand why THEY don’t understand MtF crossdressing – I try to keep out of sight as I float through life in my femme finery, partly because I don’t want to upset any females in the vicinity. In other words, I’m all-too aware of this “problem” they have with us...
I guess men/males/boys do a lot of stupid things, as judged by females, but being male is neither a bed of roses nor a bed of nails. “It just made sense at the time” is a male mantra of sorts, and it may apply to our need to crossdress, although crossdressing can be a lifelong passion. Why? Well, women are always there, either looking the way they do, or comporting themselves the way they do, or making the best of a bad situation the way they do. They laugh, they cry, and they express their unabashed bewilderment at us, the boys dressed as girls. I get the feeling that GG’s on this site are saying something like, “Really? You actually want to do THAT? Give ME a break!” It (MtF) just doesn’t jibe with their “take” on reality, a reality that is conformist and non-negotiable. They take their role so seriously that our little experiments in gender-bending are unappreciated, suspect, or worse. Can I come to YOUR party, ladies? Yes? How about dressed like THIS? No? Why not? I mean no harm...
Well, I gotta get back to the boys-dressed-as-girls club and resume my “quiet girl” persona. GG’s, think of it merely as men gone fishing, albeit in girl’s clothes, without troubling the fish. We need to get away now and then, and, if you're like me, it ALWAYS seems like a good idea at the time...
I’m appreciative of GG’s who genuinely like (or accept) what we do, but most of the time I feel like we are under attack from those we are trying to emulate. What do YOU think the problem is?
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Originally Posted by Frédérique
