I think I'm busted....

[GinaM]

So, I ordered a ton of items that were delivered today and I'm usually home when it comes but I was at work so my wife got them. She's usually really good with my stuff and doesn't touch it but lately she's been opening my packages which is pissing me off. Anyways, I got some stuff from Fredericks which is fine but she calls me and says "you ordered me a pair of size 12 heels?" I told her it was a mistake on the stores part and I will return them no problem. Then, I was home and we were talking about it and she said I think those are your size in womens shoes. I just shrugged it off and left it at that. I also had 3 other packages of women's clothes which I just told her was for her. The only other problems is I'm missing one of the packages which is another pair of size 12 heels. I didn't ask her about it but if she opened that box as well I'm totally busted.

I'm pretty sure she would be accepting of this lifestyle but I'm hoping I don't have to find out.

[kimdl93]

Alarm sounds, warning, warning, very bad judgment in use! First off, your wife probably already is curious about you mail order purchases. And second, you need not get pissed off if she opens packages. It just makes it seem more likely that you're hiding something...which you are. You may. Not want to know how your wife will respond to the knowledge that you CD, but keep going down this path and you will build up a history of lies that could deliver a crushing blow to your relationship. It's time to start coming out to her in a thoughtful, honest and controlled manner.

My guess is she knows more than you think. maybe she's waiting for you come clean...maybe she has doubts she's keeping to herself. But seriously, how do you accidentally order heels that happen to be just your size...

[GinaM]

I honestly think she's been on me for the past few years. I'm sure she knows or has some idea. This isn't the first time this has happened as it happened twice a few years ago as well. I think if she would be upset about it she would just call me out on it but I'm sure she is prob. just waiting for me to come clean. I'm sure if she knows or thinks this that she knows I would be completely embarassed about it so maybe that's why she hasn't said anything.

[Diane Smith]

She totally knows, as the comment about the shoe size proves. Just come clean and be done with it.

- Diane

[Diversity]

It would seem to me that if you are pretty sure she would be accepting of this lifestyle, and she is your wife, then you should not keep secrets and let her know about your needs to live this lifestyle. Talking to your wife and being honest with her is the best policy. To do otherwise, you are only kidding yourself into thinking you can hide this, and even worse, you are setting yourself up for a big fall when she decides you are not to be trusted because she knows you are not being truthful with her. Your wife is your partner and your best friend and as such, you should treat her with the respect she deserves.
Di

[Donniesr]

I agree, come clean with her. If she finds you are lying to her about this...what else are you lying about.(in her mind).
I came clean to my wife a while back, and it caused my divorce. My daughter (who knows and understands) tried to help by saying that she "dressed daddy up"
I didn't fly because of the same problem..the size 12 shoes, the size 14 dress, and so on..
If she is accepting, then you will be alot happier for it. If she is not..at least talk to her and above all....be honest with her..She will thank you for that..

[Katrina Black]

Ya your busted .. women are not dumb their allways picking up on anything out of place

[Chickhe]

Ya know what?!... just tell her you saw all the fun people are having with dressing up and its 2013...its no big deal anymore and you always wanted to try it... so you ordered some stuff. Didn't think it might be her cup of tea...but now that she knows, get her involved.

[Rachelakld]

She so knows,
A lie is never good in a relationship.
I think you should explain your hobby (otherwise she might think it is a lifestyle).

[Kalista Jameson]

Gina,

It sounds to me that your wife is giving you a chance to own it. And I don't mean crossdressing, but the deception. My advice is to man up and own your inner TGirl or you may end up losing far more that you are ready for. This is not a time to work damage control, but to simply lay it out for her in its entirity. If you want a shot of saving your marriage and even possibly gaining your wife's support, talk to her. You no longer have the luxury of time in light of these recent events.

Please consider this and good luck,

Kalista

[Tracii G]

Yep time to spill the beans honey.

[docrobbysherry]

R u Egyptian, Gina? Because it sounds like u live on de Nile River!

[Lorileah]

Two options here. Come clean or in a few weeks or months start a thread about how she threw you out

[vivianann]

Dont be lying to her, it is the worst thing to do to a wife. You need to tell her the truth, but to be honest tooo much damage has been done because you have been lying to her. It is the same as cheating on her. I hope you can fix this problem with her.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is time for the talk, never in a million years would I buy my wife any clothing let alone parcels of it.
Gepetto and Pinnochio spring to mind here and in a big way.
It may be rough but it does have to be said now.
Think carefully what you have to say and do it sooner than later.
I do wish you well.

[Stephanie47]

Gina, women are not dumb! Give her some credit. Your goose has been cooked.

[Cheryl T]

Sounds like it's time to find out if she's accepting or not. The risk of sending it home smacks of wanting to be discovered and end your hiding...just my

[PaulaQ]

I am as big a coward about this as anyone, and I haven't told my wife yet. But look - it's one thing to lie by omission, and quite another to lie straight to her face. She probably has a good clue about this - if she doesn't, it's because she doesn't want to admit it to herself. If you think she's liable to be accepting, you should just be honest with her.

[Rachael Jones]

As PaulaQ says - I'm in the same boat there. I will get to a point where I do the talk myself (and I'm a big coward too), but at this moment, many personal issues on both our parts cloud the chance of coherent discussion. But I will tell you one thing from experience.

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I try (emphasis on the word there) not to drink. Occasionally I fail. When I do, there's shame, guilt and I hide the empty beer cans/bottles/etc.

Somehow - my wife knows this. It's like a sixth sense. And she'll search high and low for evidence. If there's any hint of suspicion in a woman's mind, it will not be satisfied with a mere explanation - it must demand concrete physical proof. Another case - I spend a bit of money on myself. My wife asks 'Have I spent any money today?' I say yes. She asks 'On what?' And so goes a long explanation on what I did, when, etc etc etc. And EVEN THEN, there is still suspicion in her mind.

Fortunately, these have abated. My drinking is much more under control, spending likewise, and less questions are asked. The more I'm clean, the less suspicion my wife has, and she relaxes about it.

But you have been warned - suspicion in a wife is not easily resolved by an excuse.

[Stevie]

Do not lie to your wife. It violates her trust and women look at that just as bad as cheating.

[Jenny Gurl]

She knows. The longer the list of lies, the bigger the explosion when it goes off. On the not very likely event she doesn't know, she may start to think there is another woman in your life, which is a horrible thing to let her think. It sounds like she knows, it is time to test the waters. If you aren't ready to spill the whole pan of beans, you can at least test the waters by telling her you kind of thought it would be fun to try. This way you can at least measure the reaction to know how accepting she may be. If she is accepting then you at least know where you stand to make future decisions. I would hate for my girl to think I had someone on the side, that is the ultimate betrayal of trust and a pain I would never want to see her in. I came clean at the beginning of my relationship and it worked thanks to this web site.

[Rogina B]

Two options here. Come clean or in a few weeks or months start a thread about how she threw you out

Now that you have official status here,why not turn that into a "sticky" for the top of the forum!!

[Rianna Humble]

You have already had enough people telling you to stop lying to your wife, so I'll take another tack.

A few years ago there was a very good thread on these forums called How to tell your partner. It would be worth reading that before you come clean.

[~Joanne~]

Don't think your busted....KNOW your busted. There is no way she is sitting there thinking the store sent the wrong sizes, not only in the heels, but in all the other articles you bought. I am sure NONE of it probably fits her. If the other pair of heels didn't arrive with the rest of the stuff yesterday, it will probably arrive today or tomorrow and there's no way your lying out of it.

You said she would probably understand, then there is no reason you shouldn't have "the talk". Yes it's a hard talk but think about the things that she is thinking right now about all of these things. She is thinking every which way you don't want her thinking.

[Rhonda Darling]

Gina:

I agree with the general sense of the crowd that you are indeed busted. I also agree that getting it out in the open between you is for the better, even if the relationship crashes. I lived with the lies until my wife passed away . . . Never again. Told my current GF 5 years ago when I was sure I wanted the relationship to last. Ahhhhhhh describes the resulting peace of mind.

That said, girl -- doesn't your town have Mailboxes etc. or some other delivery box location that you could rent in order to receive your packages and hold them for you?? In this modern age, there is no reason on earth that packages need to come directly to your house. Too late for you, but the advice may help someone else (who may choose to not follow my earlier advice about being out to your SO.)

Best
Rhonda