Every time I start to CD now, I want to claw my damned eyes out. I am not content with the result, and I feel like a clown. I wonder why I even do this when I fail so miserably to project an image which is even remotely feminine. Others have their reasons, but unless I achieve that goal, I feel like my endeavors are a waste of time. Correspondence on the forum has only exacerbated this issue. I know that most of you see me as a dumb, drab b***h, and I suppose that's fine, as it only confirms already present suspicions and provides me with some certainty as to my defects. I can do nothing but compare myself with those vastly superior to me, in all respects, endlessly -- until I feel absolutely worthless.
Can anyone tell me why I should even continue when I'm driven so absolutely crazy? Without any sympathetic white lies to attempt to boost my spirits?