Developing a feminine image?

[whowhatwhen]

Okay, so things are moving along, my laser irritation is starting to heal up, and I have a bit of money to put something together.

If you don't have anyone to go to for this sort of thing, how do you figure out the proper direction to go in to get the best results?
I do have some money, but not enough to keep buying things only to find out that it's completely wrong for me.

A good way of explaining it might be needing to put a package together, but being stuck on unwrapping the packing tape.
Okay so that was a terrible analogy...

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi WWW, watch what women are wearinc and copy that look.

[kimdl93]

By package, may I assume you're referring to clothing and "foundations"? First, set a budget. Then, as Orchid suggests, look at what women are wearing and consider which styles and colors might work best for you. Don't hesitate to try things on and change your mind - that's half the fun of shopping. As for the foundations, I'd strongly encourage that you buy a moderately priced corset and or full shaper. Having a defined waist is a big step towards presenting a feminine profile. Then, think breast forms...these are available at every price range. Lots of threads recently on these, so do some research . (And remember your budget)

And finally....a Wig. There are so many to choose from. Try Wigs.com to get some idea of the styles and prices. Also there are tips on selecting a style that fits the shape of your face and color. Do some research in that area. (And remember your budget)

[PaulaQ]

For wigs and breastforms, I'd suggest emailing or calling local shops that specialize in mastectomy supplies. I did this, telling them anonymously (I setup a different email account) exactly the truth - that I was a man who crossdressed and who wanted to have breasts and feminine hair. I asked if they'd be willing to help me, and wanted to be sure that I wouldn't cause any problems for them or their normal customers. (I asked out of respect - dealing with breast cancer survivors is serious business.)

I found a shop that was willing to help me. So I made an appointment, went in, and got fitted for forms and a wig. They were awesome about it.

Getting fitted by professionals helped a lot - especially the wig. The wigs I'd have picked on my own would not have looked good on me, it turns out. (Also, it turns out that I wear a size 44 B cup bra. A fact about myself that gives me a little giggle of delight every time I think about it!) I would bet, though, that any number of local wig or mastectomy suppliers would deal with you, and be a lot friendlier than you'd expect. I am also sure I paid a little more, but then again - I got the right stuff the first time.

Although I haven't done this myself, for makeup, I have two thoughts. (I am going to try one or the other of these myself.)
1. Find a salon or spa that does makeovers, and tell 'em exactly your situation, and that you want a makeover, and to buy some makeup. I believe you will not have much trouble finding someone who'll help. This is probably a lot more private.

2. If you go to a makeup counter at a department store at the mall, I suspect you'll have very little trouble finding a sales associate who'll help you select colors that look good on you. They will probably be happy to demo on you too - although even if you go on a tuesday afternoon when it's *dead* in the store, you won't get much privacy so you might not want them too. I've bought a lot of makeup for my wife. They want your money. BTW, even if you let them demo some of the product on you - this will not look as weird as you think. (At least until they hit eyeshadow and lipstick.) A *lot* of cosmetic products exist for men, and a lot of men buy them. I have difficulty buying stuff for my wife without getting upsold stuff for myself. The only really scary part of this process is likely to be your credit card bill. They will sell you *a lot* of stuff. (You have no idea...) BTW, looking scared and apprehensive will *not* put them off. Quite the contrary, in my experience. Seriously - go in when it's dead, look scared, look like you have a lot of cash to blow, you'll get help.

I would suggest in either case, you choose someplace not too close to home - you don't want to run into folks you know, probably.

[Kate Simmons]

I was thinking to perhaps enlist the services of a female image consultant. They are out there, just to a search online. They might be able to give you a start and some ideas.

[Aylineira]

Find someone who is a stylist or whatever you're trying to achieve and have him/her help you. It's a whole lot easier than just shooting in the dark.

[Persephone]

Several have posted good advice for some of the basic items. For wardrobe itself you might see if some of the local department stores offer a "personal shopper" service - this is someone who works with you to select, fit, and coordinate your purchases. If you find someone you like, she can continue to assist you on an on-going basis - she'll call to tell you when specific items are going to be on sale, etc.

Depends upon how much $$ you have available.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[whowhatwhen]

Cool stuff, thanks all
I'm going for a more feminine day-to-day look as well though, so an image consultant may help there in terms of choosing a hairstyle and finding out if my hair is long enough to do something with or if I need a wig in the meantime.

Luckily I've got my own boobs so there's more boobs and money in my wallet right there.


I do check out women every once in a while, it's actually more depressing than informative though.

Edit:
I need to plan a shopping trip then.
:P

Ugh, that reminds me I need to get my eyebrows redone...

[Angela Campbell]

For me it took a lot of trial and error. I tried different clothes, different wigs, different makeup, eventually I found what works for me. It takes time and practice. Start with basic clothes, a top or two, and a skirt or two that can be used with each other. Try them out and look at yourself critically and try to figure out what is not working. If the top makes your arms stand out then try a top with longer sleeves, if your shape looks off, try some padded panties, or a looser top or even a corset. What works for me may not work for you so you will have to try and see for yourself.

Look around at women your age and same relative size and see what they are wearing. Notice the way they mix and match clothes, notice what kind of shoes they wear....Look on line and find clothes that are fairly low priced. I have had good luck at amazon, sears, and even Wal Mart for very inexpensive outfits that look great.

[sandra-leigh]

Try things on in the store. You can start at thrift shops. There have been many times when I have imagined that something would look good on me, but when I tried it on, found that the entire variety of item either Looked Awful or Just Didn't Suit Me.

[whowhatwhen]

Oddly enough my best finds (two pairs of jeans lol) were from a thrift store whereas my two jeans from wal-mart were the wrong size.
And yes, I did try them on... I just forgot that there is more than just the waist measurement.
:P

One thing I noticed is the abundance of arm covering tops, if there is one thing I cannot stand it's covered arms.
Seriously, It's the dead of winter and I'm still wearing t-shirts because I hate having my arms covered.

[Christie ann]

Yup, you have you try things on. As you can read in many different threads most of us have no problems trying clothes on whether drab or fem. I observe, a lot. Ask GG questions about why they do or what they wear. Mostly women have been very tolerant of my femulating. Good luck and enjoy yourself.

[Beverley Sims]

Hi WWW, watch what women are wearing and copy that look.

And do as others here have suggested and then go back and start again.
You will get there.

[AllieSF]

In my opinion, the best way to find out what kind of clothes work for you is to spend time with a lot or patience if you do not like to shop and hit all the thrift stores. I have such great luck finding different items of clothing that mostly work for me. Some don't and I know that when they do not work out, I can easily recycle them back into the thrift store system at little cost to me ($5.00-10.00 each). I also suggest starting with skirts and tops and maybe some slacks. Your tops will work for both and you can end up with several outfits with just a few items. I also buy shoes there, fortunately my smallish feet help in that area, purses, belts and even jewelry. All look great and are really cheap when compared to buying new. For buying new, I go to Marshall's and its sister store TJ Maxx, Ross, Kohl's and like today, Macy's where I bought some new clothes that had a retail price over $80 for less than $20 each. For a wig, look on line or go to the cheaper inner city beauty supply stores that many times have a great selection of different types of wigs most less than $50.00. Good luck, happy shopping and just get out there and experiment.

[sonna]

trail and aerier, practice makes perfect.

[sandra-leigh]

Side note: TJ Maxx does not operate stores under that name in Canada, but they own and operate Winners (clothes) and Homesense (stuff for the home -- vases, cutting boards, linens, big posters, etc.)

[noeleena]

Hi,

As a woman, i did not follow fashon or look at other women to see what they were wearing , simple what suited most women would not suit me , so i can make my own clothes that fit my body shape which is similar to other female's just not my facial features . so i do not do the feminine look because it would not look right,

Okay , ether get a friend = female = to go with you & check out the secondhand shops for clothes that will suit you, dont buy clothes that look good on other women because they may not look so good on you. body shape for most males is different,
if you do go to a clothes shop ask for help & tell the S A's you do quite a bit of dressing & youll find they will help you,

Same for makeup again dont just buy get the women to check you out & get colours that suit's your complection, it will make a huge difference. & check the lights in where you are because what may look good in a building is very different out side in the sun, allso different lights in some building are very poor, so you wont get a good idear of colours,

Hair or wigs dont buy cheap it looks cheap get colours that are close to you r own hair colour, or maybe as close to as looks good,

I would suggest you ask about some creams thatll suit your skin so to keep your face softer , from experance most males never looked after them selfs hence sunbaked skin or weather beaten or other detail, so its importaint to have at the least a dayly cream time use it , if you can 2 times a day , perfume is another one that suits your skin some wont when i go in to the shops ill try at least 5 different ones & get Jos to see if it smells nice or a dont buy .

i wont go in to shoes all i'll say is get some that you feel comfortable in & can wear,

...noeleena...

[Cheryl T]

Hi WWW, watch what women are wearinc and copy that look.

Watch what women your age and size are wearing and see what you think looks good and not so good and use that as a guideline to form your style.