Hi Ladies...
Just looking to get your advice on shopping in male mode for femme things. I have done it only on a couple of occasions..very nervous, but it went fine. Would be great to hear your stories and recommendations!
Thanks so much,
Leah
Hi Ladies...
Just looking to get your advice on shopping in male mode for femme things. I have done it only on a couple of occasions..very nervous, but it went fine. Would be great to hear your stories and recommendations!
Thanks so much,
Leah
I have never really had a problem shopping. Now, with my SO in tow, it seems almost too easy lol When I did shop alone though I just went about my business and looked at what it is I wanted to look at. If you look around a lot, look to see who's looking, keep walking back and forth hoping for a closer look at something on like a fly by, then your going to get the attention you don't want. Just go in, look at whatever it is that you want, either buy it or don't. Own the moment. They have no idea who your buying for and quite frankly it's none of their business either.
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
Just have the confidence to do it.
No one cares and those who do usually won't say anything. If they open their ignorant mouth, ignore them.
Be fabulous!
Tab
Way, way back I told the clerk, if I said anything at all, that the lingerie and other femmy attire, was for my mother. Later I said that it was for my wife. No I buy exclusively enfemme when I shop at stores, but most of my buying is done online. About 11 years ago I was shopping for female shoes, in person, and in drab, and I was after size 11, or 12. A 5o'ish black lady, not a SA, was very helpful and non-judgemental, which made me very happy. I don't remember the store or store chain. IMO the internet is a wonder and has helped me so much in my journey.
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I suppose it is easy to say just wander around as if you own the department and look at what pleases you.
Do not skulk around but do walk around with confidence and be mindful when in the lingerie section that women consider this a personal area.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Can't offer any past experience other then recently buying a set of women's pajamas and perfume. The perfume was easy but the pajamas was a slight challenge. An older store clerk came up and asked me if I needed help and since it was a week before Christmas, I said I needed help with women's sizes because my GF wanted me to surprise her for Christmas and pick something I liked. She didn't bat an eye lash and even if she did it wasn't noticeable. All good and size was perfect.
Going to go shopping in public soon but I have a plan. My TS friend will be going with me so she will be picking out the clothing and run reckon at the dressing room so we can get the clothing in an out in stealth mode. LOL
Well it might just be my disorder, but I honestly don't care what others may think! I've even been known to try on bras right there in front of everyone! And I once asked a woman where she got a pair of panties that she was buying as I thought that they would look cute on me! And even told her so when she inquired as to why I asked! But regardless, there is a lesson to take from my behavior. Stop being so self conscious about what it is that you like to wear! Bravely and proudly take your garments, panties, and what have you up to the register and make your purchase!
Ask the SA for assistance and tell her that you are shopping for yourself and don't be nervous. I am usually in my normal femme male mode wearing capri pants, a woman's purse, women's high-heels sandals, and red toenails. It is not a problem shopping for items and getting help from sales assistants because they can see that I'm a feminine male. The sales assistants always call me "sweetie" or "honey" and I enjoy my conversations and interactions with them.
One good way is to continue to take all those little first steps until they get bigger. Why not try walking through and do some window shopping in different women's clothing stores and women's departments in larger stores every chance you get? You do not have to buy anything, just look around and see what items you like and when approached by a sales agent just tell them that you are looking for a gift for whoever and that you are just trying to get an idea what you like that she might like. She may offer to help you and you can say sure, but that you are at the moment just looking. That way you get experience looking, touching, seeing what you like and how to interact with with sales agents. You will eventually find that it really is no big deal, that men buy stuff for female family members, loved ones and friends all the time and no one is going to give you a hard time about all that. You are basically learning how to shop for yourself comfortably. The more you do that the easier it gets and one day you will start buying whatever you want for yourself and may even be able to say that it is for you. A great time to practice is around special shopping days like Christmas, Valentines day and for any special occasion that you can say, it is for XX and her birthday, anniversary, graduation from college or whatever. It really does get easier as you build up your experience, familiarity and confidence. Good luck and happy shopping.
For years I did all the shopping for the two women I have been married to over the years, and for my two daughters. It is nothing. You do not have to justify why you are buying something or who it is for. If you go to McDonalds do you tell them the big mac is for your wife?
Just go to the store, look for what you want and buy it. No one really cares.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
I personally do not think that lying is ever a good idea. You should just tell the sales assistant that the feminine clothing/item is for you. If possible, when shopping wear some feminine items so that the sales assistant will know that you are a feminine male. You will feel a lot better in this interaction because if you lie, you certainly feel ashamed after the interaction with the SA. It is simply bring more shame to your crossdressing whereas you should be experiencing pride, not shame. It is liberating to tell the truth and just let the sales assistant know that the item is for you. Never lie. Be proud of your feminine self and you will receive respect and grow in acceptance of yourself.Originally Posted by AllieSF
Hi Leah, Just tell yourself that we are going shopping and don't take NO for an answer.
No one really gives a rat's a$$ what you are buying as the are so wrapped up in their own little world.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
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Thanks Jamie and everyone for your feedback...I have once tried telling the sales attendant that the corset I was looking at was for me. She was very open and even asked if I wished to try it on...I was so happy and proud. Once home, I emailed the shop to thank them for their liberal views and especially to thank the SA...it was a great day and encourages me to always let the person know. The honest piece has worked for me!
Leah
Jamie, I think that many if not most of the Sales Agents have seen it all, and can read through our made up deceptions. However, I do not believe that people always feel ashamed because they told that white lie to a sales agent or to anyone where knowing or not knowing the truth was not important to the activity at hand. The SA does not need the truth if one does not want to provide the truth because of fear, lack of confidence or for whatever reason. I personally sometimes tell them something is for me, other times I do not, while most of the time they never ask. Leah asked for advice because she is trying to get more comfortable shopping for herself. I gave her good sound advice. If she is comfortable enough to shop for herself whenever she wants, then I would say, why not just tell the SA that it is for you. However, my advice is to help her get more comfortable doing something that in reality she should not feel ashamed at doing. I believe it is one step at a time and when the time is right tell everyone that needs to know or anyone else that one wants to tell. Otherwise, when there is no need to know, why tell them the truth if one does not feel bad about it?
Last edited by AllieSF; 02-20-2013 at 09:53 PM. Reason: corrected a sentence.
Jamie and Allie...I really do appreciate your comments...
Shopping in male mode for femme items is such an exhilerating thing for me...such a rush when I told the SA that the clothes were for me. Really do think I will tell again if the timing is right. Everything to gain, nothing to lose. Especially when you get the right sizing, giggles.
Self-expression is a grand thing...
Leah
For me Leah, back in the early days I'd just throw a few 'excuses' in my brain and head on out. Ya know, like, "My wife is laid up in bed and she sent me out to buy some things for her... or... I'm playing a part in a play and need to buy these clothes for some of the actors..... or whatever your other brain needs to get up the courage to head on out.
I too started on line with a lot of purchases. After the money started to run dry, I decided to only buy clothes en fem. I now spend a whole lot of time shopping and very little time buying... It's much more fun for me to do it that way, plus, when I do discover a 'find' it's all that more special...
Renne......
Thanks so much for the ideas Renne...really helps to have a few tricks up your sleeve!
Leah
In most department stores you could fire a couple of shots into the cieling without attracting attention. You probably won't see a SA even in or near the dressing room. There is however always a SA in the lingerie dept. Ask before using the dressing room there.- Celeste
Great point Celeste...nice to see another Ontario girl here!
Leah
Nice to see a poster checkin up on their original post.... It takes a lot of baby steps to get rid of the butterflies. Once they're gone though, you'll kindof miss them.... then all you have to 'pass' is the front door....
Renne.....
Renne...think u hit a good point there. I kinda like the butterflies I do believe and enjoy a reaction, if there is one.
Interesting...
Leah
I don't look like a woman, but try on clothes all the time. I am friendly and talk to the SAs and they let me do it. Been turned down a few times, but then ...
A lot worse things go on in the changing rooms from what my granddaughter says about the store where she works. They get some real weard dudes and even a few women. Not to mention the little boys who try and peak.
Twice this week, yesterday I found myself in the change room trying on a lovely dress (bought it) while in work clothes. Today did same.
Either act confident, or crazy - both work for me
All I can say is just be yourself and don't do anything creepy. Act like you belong and things will go well. Since I have not had the courage to go out dressed, I always shop for my girl stuff in drab. As others have said, act friendly and be approachable. The most I've gotten is a friendly somewhat awkward smile form the cashier at Marshall's upon picking up a cute dress and some pantys. Only way to get over the jitters is to just go and do it.
I was very nervous for the first few times I did it. But after several shopping sprees, it gets easier and easier. For me it was done in little steps and setting a pre-conceived individual challenge before each outing. I finally got the courage to try on a few skirts and blouses in the ladies change room, firstly asking the SA if it would be alright. She was helpful and did not think a thing of it (to my face, anyways). Probably had a laugh later though.....
Who cares, anyways. It just let me know I made someone smile for the day!
The more you do it, the easier it gets. Have fun with it.
Di
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