I think that the point, most obviously, is to express some innate femininity. So while one is dressed, he is giving life and voice to his feminine side. But here is the question: What does that do in terms of his overall manhood? Is he necessarily "less of a man" overall because of those periods of indulging a feminine side?
I think we should flip the question. Does dressing in fatigues and combat boots for work make a woman necessarily less than a woman? Does playing sports with the boys make a girl necessarily less of a girl? Does wearing flannel shirts and jeans to work as a mechanic make a woman necessarily less of a woman? What if the rest of her life is defined by her happy conformity to her traditional "gender role?" Wife, mother. Wearer of dresses and skirts. Nurturer, caregiver.
Part of our frustration, it would seem, is that the rules do not apply equally to both sides. Women are free to express aspects of masculinity in areas of their life, and many are actually celebrated for it. Ahhh...but this is not true of men. If we express femininity of any kind, our manhood and sexuality and worth are called into question. We lose respect. We gain ridicule and fear and shame. It would seem as if it is the ultimate expression of sexism, actually. When women do traditionally masculine things, they are "stepping up" in life and are to be commended for "rising above their station." But men are mocked because they are voluntarily relinquishing power and elevated status and thus are "weakening" themselves purposely.
But here is how I (continue to) look at it even after 4 years of not dressing. A man could be less of a man depending on how he executes the expression of femininity and how he uses it in his life. But he CAN be MORE of a man for learning to treat his wife in an understanding way, as Christian husbands are called to do, for example. I learned all sorts of lessons about what I should be doing as a REAL man to protect, provide for, serve, and sacrifice for my wife. I gained some small additional appreciation for things she goes through as a woman that I never gave any thought to until I indulged my feminine side. I learned about vulnerability and the need for security. I learned about notions of body image/appearance and how powerful a force it is in a woman's life. I learned why things sometimes take so long. I gained an appreciation for HER daily work and sacrifices which far exceeded my own. I learned how to really listen and not try to "fix" everything. I think; I hope that those lessons have made me a better man -- MORE of a man, if you will. Even if I still have those same old feminine feelings -- even if I don't act on them.
Originally Posted by Stephanie Scott
You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.
Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
