Does crossdressing make you less of a man ?

[PaulaQ]

I'm not sure how to answer this question. I think in other people's eyes (society in general, not you lovely ladies), the answer would be overwhelming "oh hell yes it makes me less of a man."

However, it begs the question "how much of a man am I to begin with?" Because surely before we can say whether or not we are any less, we need a baseline for comparison.

On the one hand, I hate sports. Period. Pretty much all of them. I can't actually fix **** around the house. I am very sentimental and I cry in movies. I like to avoid conflict when possible. Not very manly, really.

On the other hand, I mostly deal with unwanted critters around here. I like knives and multitools. (Ironic since I really am inept at repair!) I've fathered a son, raised him and another - by all accounts was an OK dad. I like sportscars and stuff that goes fast. I deal with the yard. I cook outdoors, over flame.

So I don't really know how to answer the question.

edit: I'm over thinking this a lot. If this doesn't make you less of a man and more of a woman, at least for a while anyway, well, it seems like a somewhat pointless activity.

[TxCassie]

Less of a man for dressing as a woman. MMMM Good Question. I believe I am all the man I ever am going to be. Allowing Cassie to emerge at times in this period of of my life (I'm 53yrs), is allowing me to be the woman that was was always there but never allowed to develop.

I believe each of us are different in the gender scale. If you know deep down your masculine self is a facade, then you never were. Is sort of like when I came to terms being gay. I had a sad, angry feeling I gave being "a man", gave up fighting to be straight, I gave up being straight, but I never was straight, so how can you lose what you don't have.

I have masculine features, I live as a male, I feel male, I react like a male, I think like a male, I even like other males (HA! ) But, allowing Cassie to emerge, slipping on my nylons and things, doesn't destroy or lessen my manhood, it develops my feminine womanhood. For Cassie is part of me, the flip-side of the same coin. I had a continuous thought when I first began seriously dressing,

I never realize how much of a man I was until I tried to be a woman but I always known how much of a woman I could be every minute I am a man.

Confused yet, honey?

It's not that you're losing your manhood, you're merging your womanhood to co-exist with your manhood.

Now as I said, dressing may have started allowing you to feel, realize, become aware of feelings, desires, realities, that you were not totally aware, or figured out yet. In such, you may feel like you're becoming less of a man or is it, you're just letting go a false sense of self you held on and used, to keep the peace in your head, your family, your life in general.

Are you a man in the traditional sense, NO,that's obvious. Does that make you less, only you can measure and decide that. Remember, no one can make you less unless you allow it.

Be kind to yourself dear.

Cassie

[katlee]

I think it really depends on the type of the reason why you CD. Some will do it try to be another persona. If you are doing this you are doing everything to reduce your masculinity. I just think of the thing that I am proud of in male mode, I try to tuck back and hide when I am in Kat mode. However, I don't think that this makes my male side less masculine. I treat the two sides separatley.

[PaulaQ]

I treat the two sides separatley.

Well, I think that's what I'm doing too - but you know, when I think about it, I wonder if that's really the case?

[noeleena]

Hi,

What if your not a man to start with, does the clothes have a bearing then ,if i wear male clothes does that change any thing about who i am as a person, So take away the clothes what then does that change the part of you that is the core person, of who you are,

If i wear a sack as in sack cloth & ash's I maybe humiliated & thought of as... weird , i am any way... so no it does not change who i am,

For males i dont see a change in the person or makes you any less of a male,

...noeleena...

[vivianann]

Only if you want to be less of a man

[Breeze]

My husband is more of a man now than when he was denying who he really was.
He is a man and a CDer and he is a lot happier with himself.
He knows who he is and that is a caring father a considerate friend and a compassionate husband.
He can still be a grumpy git on occasions but can't we all!!!
He makes me feel safe and loved and that is who he is a CD man.

[LilSissyStevie]

I think this is a case of having the cart before the horse.

[Kate Simmons]

Not unless crossdressing makes you less of a woman as well.

[Lynn Marie]

Ever notice how men have this deathly fear of appearing sensitive or feminine in any way? I no longer have that fear. Confidence and fearlessness are a powerful aphrodisiac. I'm more man, and woman for that matter, than I ever was.

[kimdl93]

I've rephrased that expression to say...makes you a better person. The other way does imply there's something special about being male.

[Asche]

My first reaction to this question was to pull up my skirt and check -- yep, sure looks like I'm as much a man as ever (FWIW).

My second was to think: in the years since I started wearing skirts & stuff, there's gotten to be a bit too much of me (but remember: correlation != causation.) I (especially my knees and ankles!) could really afford to be a bit "less" of a man.

My third thought was: if being "less of a man" means being less like certain "manly" men (whose names I won't mention, but you can probably think of quite a few, too), then maybe being "less of a man" is a Good Thing(tm).

[MissTee]

I don't think so. Asked my wife and she said I'm not less of anything, and that I am simply more complete and so is my wardrobe

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nikki, When I take off my bra and pantyhose I'm as manly as the next guy.

[Stephanie Miller]

I'm very much less of a man when I'm being a woman. (That's the whole point, isn't it?) As much so that I am very much less of a woman when being a man. Both sides of me need to be the best, and most complete, that I am for those whose lives I impact (self included). They deserve it, as much as I do.

[Nikki Rich]

So far some great answers , I'm still early in my " coming out " process I repressed these feelings for so long , which is something that I deeply regret. I know I'll be a better person when I can truly stop repressing my inner female side and inbrace what we all love so much about the women we are trying to be more like , whether its the way we dress or the way we act. Having some female traits is a good thing in my opinion.

[Marissa V]

not sure if it makes me a lesser man, but it does make me a 'more complete' person. Now if that were to mean that it does take away some of the man...so be it. I really dont care wich of 2 personas has the upper hand, my male self and my femme side complete the person, and thats all that matters to me.

[genevie]

Sorry. I'm stuck being a womanly man and a manly woman. I wish I could be more of a womanly woman. But I certainly don't want to be a more manly man. Tried that for many years. Tiring. Right now I love the feeling of my breasts pressed against the table as I type this. Do I wish they were real? Yep. But then I wouldn't be a man anymore. That won't work with my wife. Would I cry if the parts fell off overnight. Not so much. Would I like being scared and feeling weak when going out? No. Do I revel in sometimes feeling like a powerful male? Yep. Would I revel in feeling like a beautiful woman? Yes, please. A lot of contradictions. I cry when I have to take off the girl stuff. I can't wait for the one day a week when I can put it all back on. Can we be both and do both well? I'm not sure what that means. I do know that I'm getting more and more womanly when in man mode. Feels great. Freeing. Free your mind. You might not be able to have the body, but you can have the thoughts and feelings and a better approach to life and the world.

[Lacyfem]

Well I guess I'm like Jekell and Hyde. When I'm not dressed I'm all man and when dressed I'm all woman. Think this is true of most cds.

[Jamie001]

Since I am a feminine male all of the time, I don't have two personalities. I am just my normal sissy self all of the time. It is wonderful to be yourself without having to worry about switching back and forth between masculine and feminine mode like most folks on this forum.

[Lorileah]

All the songs that come to mind here.

Define man, define woman, define less.

[CynthiaD]

I think that accepting myself as a Crossdresser has made it easier to be manly. When I was in denial, I always had a hard time figuring out how to react to things. Once I realized that I was female inside, and that the manliness was largely an act, I found it much easier to play the man part. I could separate my male feelings from my female feelings much more easily, and it became easier to see which was which.

[Julie Denier]

Well I guess I'm like Jekell and Hyde. When I'm not dressed I'm all man and when dressed I'm all woman. Think this is true of most cds.

This is certainly true in my case. I'm really not the least bit feminine as a man.

[Reba Kay]

I don't think it make you any less at all. I was always told, " It Takes A Real Man, To Wear A Dress"

[JadeEmber]

All the songs that come to mind here.

Define man, define woman, define less.

Yeah, really, this is my immediate response. I'm not even sure what those terms mean, except with respect to how a culture in some place at some particular time views it on average.

It's interesting to ask how people feel about it -- some people say they think CD'ers mostly feel one way or another, sometimes based on responses to these types of threads, but it's hard to say. We don't really have enough of a sampling of behavior. Some people exhibit dual behavior and are quite different, some don't. I, for example, don't really change. But then, it's sometimes confusing as to whether or not I'm CD'ing or not. How much do you have to wear to break the barrier between men and women?