Does crossdressing make you less of a man ?

[Natalie Wood]

My belief is that it makes me a better, more whole person. For years I was the rough, gruff type of macho man that suppressed these thoughts and feelings. 25 years in the Army. I was a Paratrooper, a Drill Sergeant. On the civilian side a respected business executive. There is only one person on Earth that knows about this, my wife. Married 12 years and we have 3 beautiful children together. I am an excellent, loving husband, father, and provider. I respect, no revere women greatly, especially my wife. I am far more a man--even though I thoroughly enjoy shaving my legs, wearing sheer hose with stiletto pumps, dresses, skirts, etc.--than many insecure macho types that treat women like excrement and think that makes them more manly.

I couldn't agree more.

[2B Natasha]

My belief is that it makes me a better, more whole person. For years I was the rough, gruff type of macho man that suppressed these thoughts and feelings. 25 years in the Army. I was a Paratrooper, a Drill Sergeant. On the civilian side a respected business executive. There is only one person on Earth that knows about this, my wife. Married 12 years and we have 3 beautiful children together. I am an excellent, loving husband, father, and provider. I respect, no revere women greatly, especially my wife. I am far more a man--even though I thoroughly enjoy shaving my legs, wearing sheer hose with stiletto pumps, dresses, skirts, etc.--than many insecure macho types that treat women like excrement and think that makes them more manly.

I couldn't agree more.

I'm all man all the time, no matter what I wear.

I agree with all three of these individual's. Getting my inner girlie on does not make me more of a man nor does it make me less. BTW Women can do almost anything a man can do. The things that women can't do or perhaps not does as well or feats of strength. That is just physiology nothing more. When it comes to the mind neither is better then the other.

Cheers

[Barbara Jo]

.......... I'm still all man, except for this little part of me.......

So a little part of you is not a man. Then, it follows that it makes you a "little" less of a man.

[Raychel]

I would not say that crossdressing makes me any less of a man, I still do all the manly stuff all week long,
I work as a mechanic all week long, I just happen o like the finer womens clothes when I get the chance.

[cdxmatty]

Isnt that the point?

[Stephanie47]

I think for the longest time my cross dressing was perplexing to my wife. My personalty that attracted her really has not changed at all over forty plus years. My cross dressing was not a premarital secret. It developed along the way. I did nothing to try to compensate for my cross dressing. I did not become boorish. I did not become a "man's man" to conceal my cross dressing. I worked hard all my life. I supported my family. Everyone went to college on my dime. I served my time in the military doing the ultimate 'manly' things. What's between my legs has not defined me.

I don't think it makes my husband any less of a man. He makes me feel safe he provides for me and makes me feel like a princess every day.

[Rachel05]

What an excellent question, for me personally I don't feel less of a man, I used to do when I was younger but not now, but I am sure my wife sees my girlie side as me being less of a man to the one she married, I am happy with me and as someone else said, I don't harm anyone, this is something for me

[wantstocrossdress]

My belief is that it makes me a better, more whole person. For years I was the rough, gruff type of macho man that suppressed these thoughts and feelings. 25 years in the Army. I was a Paratrooper, a Drill Sergeant. On the civilian side a respected business executive. There is only one person on Earth that knows about this, my wife. Married 12 years and we have 3 beautiful children together. I am an excellent, loving husband, father, and provider. I respect, no revere women greatly, especially my wife. I am far more a man--even though I thoroughly enjoy shaving my legs, wearing sheer hose with stiletto pumps, dresses, skirts, etc.--than many insecure macho types that treat women like excrement and think that makes them more manly.

i'm like that and it still puzzles me at times how the machoest of of some men opt to dress up en femme whatever their reason is.

it makes me feel more understanding to women and how much time and effort they put in to make themselves lovely. i understand why they hate wearing pantyhose because of how it feels and its bothersome to put on. i understand why they take so much time to put makeup on, why fixing their hair takes several minutes, and why they get bored with their clothes (i wanna get a new dress too!)

[Perla]

No. the answer is no in any way. Its just a feminine side of me living the momento.

[Jenniferathome]

When I am dressed, I am the same man as when not dressed. I never consider myself a "woman" because I am not. Clothing, it would seem, does NOT make the man or woman. Now, there is also no question in my mind that cross dressing and the archetype of "man" do not go together. So, if that is the comparison, then yes, I am less a man than the male archetype. But then, all women are less feminine than the female archetype. My wife doesn't think of me as less "male" and that is all I care about.

[Barbara Jo]

It's a given that were are the same person whether "dressed" or not. That is not the issue.

The OP asked if being a CD made one less of a man. As someone asked, is that not the point?

Actually I think we first have to open the can of worms labeled "what is a man"?

[NicoleScott]

Isnt that the point?

Sometimes the shortest answer is the best, as in this case.

I'm an occasional dresser, but when I transform, it's the whole nine yards.
I am 100% man, except for those occasional times when I'm en femme.
Then, while living out my fantasy, I'm not 100% man.
So, my answer is that crossdressing makes me less of a man.
And that's the point of my crossdressing.

[misstracy90]

Heck no! I am not manly at all anyways but I still feel like a man.

[Barbara Maria]

In my case,the woman has pretty much taken over. I don't go into guy mode until I absolutely have to. My job requires me to appear manly,and sometimes stay that way for 2 or 3 weeks at a time. During these periods,I adjust and feel as much a man as ever. But emotionally,the feminine side is dominant.

[Ericaxd]

Well, it makes me feel more like a woman.

[Tess]

In my opinion, yes it does. Both in the eyes of others and in regards to ourselves. The majority, if not all, of the members of this site for example will refer to each other using a female pronoun, and there are many threads which discuss not only our desire to look like women, but also expressing how we want to feel like women. And when dressing in public, numerous members talk about how enjoyable it is for them to be treated as a woman.

In regards to others, our dressing will result in questions about our masculinity and, much to the annoyance of the straight cd's, our sexuality. While one shouldn't necessarily confuse the idea of being masculine with the the notion of being a man, as masculinity and femininity are a little more fluid than our actual gender stipulates, they are nevertheless terms which work as signifiers in terms of how others view us, and indeed how we present ourselves. An effeminate man may not necessarily be gay, but just like many crossdressers have experienced, it will result in others questioning their sexual orientation. For some, such questions are justified by the answer given - that is, some crossdressers are gay, just as some effeminate men are.

But I digress. Personally, I do regard myself as less of a man. I am effeminate, I am gay, and I do crossdress. It doesn't bother me in the slightest that others would regard me as less of a man than an "average Joe", because that's exactly how I regard myself. For other cd's however, it may be as simple as turning on and off a switch - when they present themselves as male, to others they wouldn't be regarded as any less of a man than any other man. But there nevertheless remains a part of them (which is a part that makes up their whole) which does align more to the notion of femininity, the idea of being a woman, and that part (which makes up their whole) is far removed from what being a man encompasses. And it's on that level that I believe your question should be addressed. Not the job we do, or the truck we drive. Anybody, be they male or female can do jobs that are traditionally/socially more commonly associated with the opposite gender. It's from inside ourselves where your question should be answered. When you dress, do you feel like a man, or desire to feel like a woman? At the risk of being presumptious, I would say the latter. And the clothes, the make-up, the external presentation of ourselves when dressing is simply a means in order for us to be able to embrace our feminine side.

Jenni, I like your answer. It certainly covers how I feel...less of a man. Definitely.

[suchacutie]

There is no one answer here because everyone first had to define, operationally, a number of concepts such as "man", what being "less" of a man is, etc.

From my perspective, Nicole has it right. When I transform to Tina, the idea is to allow Tina to come to the fore, so the male side is left behind. When I transform back to being male, there is no Tina present. So, from the time perspective, the time that I'm Tina diminishes the time that I'm in drab.

Emotionally one could argue that for the last 7 years I've been able to separate and identify my two gendered selves whereas before that I was just "me". That would make me more of a "man" when I am in drab.

Hmmmm, maybe we should discuss how many angels can dance on the head of a pin

[Allison Chaynes]

Personally, I feel I've been there, done that, and earned my "man card" several times over. I have a state high school football record, done the "jump out of planes/go to war/get shot at/lead others in combat" thing with the Army, hunt, fish and established myself as an Olympic class sharpshooter years ago. For me, it's not about being less of a man, but a more complete PERSON. The more I embrace this side of me, the better I feel, and honestly my wife is starting to embrace her too. I'm not saying she loves it, but I think we're both happier together since I've admitted to myself who I am. Actually, I'd say that I try harder to be more supportive and understanding of her, do things for her, and make it a point to love her more and better than I used to.

[Allison Chaynes]

I think it has made me compromise more and be a better spouse, and if that means less of a man, well, then I'm less of a man!

[Richelle423]

crossdressing has made me more a woman than ever!!!

[Sid]

Gender is a purely social thing as far as I'm concerned. I have typically macho guy friends who drop that act completely when not around their male friends or trying to hook up with women. I also have very girly female friends who live in heels and glitter, yet will happily don camo overalls, gun, get caked in mud and swear like a truck driver when out paintballing. Both will revert back to their stereotypical gender roles afterwards. In my experience, there is really very little difference between biological males and females in terms of gender personality. The majority of people behave in a way that we feel will impress others and obtain social benefit. Our current society dictates that certain behaviour is labelled as feminine or masculine and that biological males or females are only allowed to pick from their designated list. So, if you mean, does crossdressing make a biological male less of one, then I would answer no. However, it would (deliberately) make you less of a male gender in the eyes of mainstream society.

[ashleymasters]

I agree it absolutely does not make you any less if a man. I'm a combat vet, father and husband. And I look good in heels and lipstick. The definition of a man is taking responsibility for your actions, putting the needs of others above your own. On a biological level it's more often you see men inclined to be the provider and women inclined to be a care taker it just come from evolution. In today's society we don't have to live by it. Either way if you prefer traditional gender roles you can still be the MAN and dress. Or you can take on a new role as still be a man.

[nhlighthouse]

The botton line is simply this...Who is doing the and how do you define and what is a man?

[Kelly Smith]

There many ways to define the word "man". Many of those definitions are subjective and involve parameters loosely defined by the traditional "Manly Virtues". Crossdressing has no effect on some of those virtues (courage, martial honor, the ability to find reverse in an old 4-speed stick). But making a serious effort to have yummy cleavage and wearing a wig, makeup and pink satin panties does raise One's girliness score thereby lower One's subjective masculinity. At least I hope so. For me that's the point.

[Nikki Rich]

I really appreciate all of the thoughts and opinions that have been expressed in this thread. That being said, it kinda seems like being "manly" is like beauty, it's in the eyes of the beholder.