What’s your excuse?

[Frédérique]

What’s your excuse for becoming a MtF crossdresser, and eventually ending up HERE?

Maybe you’re transgender (or beyond), or a fetishist of some sort, or you just love to wear panties in your little self-satisfying hidden taboo world, but HOW did it happen? I’m not transgender, so I can’t say that I was born to be this way. Something happened, but what? In my case, many ingredients went into the human soufflé called Freddy...

1) I was burdened with a speech impediment as a child, and this made me the target of male bullies who pounced upon any weakness. My “problem” was obvious to all. Having an unusual first name certainly didn’t help matters any (but I like it!). However, girls liked me and my name...

2) I fell down a flight of stairs when I was a boy and nearly fractured my skull. I often tell people that I gained my artistic nature from this mishap (as a joke), but I think it definitely jogged me towards the female “side” of things. Perhaps the two are related...

3) My father was gruff and overbearing, sometimes unfair, while my mother was comforting. The more I worked with the former, the more I gravitated towards the latter, but I loved them both...

4) I became shy and withdrawn (see #1), but I was expected to be a “normal” boy. Enter therapy and therapists. This caused a lot of emotional strain at times. I’m still dealing with this painful shyness...

5) Girls never made fun of me, they never threw things at me, and they never beat me. They also never gave me the time of day, but they did it in such a nice, courteous way. Nice clothes!

6) I had a girl cousin two years younger than me, and we grew up together. She and I look alike and think alike. She was a tomboy, morphing into a pretty girl, while I was a less-than regular boy, morphing into a "Jane" something-or-other. We are two halves of a whole. She went away, and I sought some form of hand-made emotional compensation...

7) I’m sensitive (see above). I can pick up vibrations. Doing something as simple as putting on a skirt has profound consequences, and the tactile sensations create a transcendental experience...

8) Looking around, I would prefer to be different from others. This is either suicidally obstinate, or a defiant act of courage. I admire people who go their own way, or take the other path through life, or are responsible for their own happiness, and I’d like to be one of them...

9) I once had a girlfriend who didn’t care to wear a dress, so I picked up the slack and made myself into my own girlfriend, albeit in private. I talk to myself, and SHE talks back. This is kinda sad, but, to tell the truth, I’m quite happy being like this...

10) I DIDN’T WANT TO WEAR THOSE GOD-FORSAKEN MALE PANTS ONE MORE MINUTE!!!

What’s YOUR excuse?

PS – I should also mention that my black female cat crosses my path several times each day, but I’m not the least bit superstitious. In my way of thinking, I turned out OK...

[kimdl93]

I have no excuses. I knew something was different from my earliest childhood years. I was born this way.

[ArleneRaquel]

My excuse is that I blieve that this " condition ", which is a wonderful " condition " to have was in my genes. What else could account for my desire, since a very youg age, under 10, perhaps as early as age 6-7, to live my adult life as I woman. I didn't live as a woman until well after the age of 50, but I was married and had a full time job. Now I am so happy and fulfilled that I love my life9style) as never before. I joined this forum because I felt it was a place for me to grow and find friendship with similiar adults. I have not regretted my joining which is nearly 7 years now.

[Deedee Skyblue]

I have no real idea what things came together and led me to dress. I was caught by a baby sitter wearing my mother's slip when I was in kindergarten. I sure don't remember why I did it, but I do remember begging her not to tell anyone. Up until I was about 2, my mom used to like to dress me as a little Dutch girl. I don't remember it, but I suppose that might have had something to do with it...

Deedee

[Stephanie47]

Excuse has the connotation there is something wrong. Check the dictionary definitions. I have no excuse for my cross dressing. I give no excuses for it. I do not know the reason why I cross dress. However, I do know the feelings I have when I cross dress. The feelings I have NOW are totally different than when I first cross dressed.

[Stevie]

I don't see them as excuses. A lot of what you put down happened to me. I too was bullied growing up, but the military change that. I went from being bullied to being the bully. I was shy growing up and never really fitted into any social crowds. That's not why I dress up. Funny growing up I didn't like anything to do with female attire. I even refused to wear make up for Halloween. So I ask what changed. All I can say while I was in the military and later in college I was discovering my sexuality and in the process everything I didn't like as a child I started to like as an adult. So then came the fetishes then the realization about my interest in dressing.

[Rachelakld]

Sub-Personalities
like a grid iron player, when he's at home with a baby is different than on the field.
Rachel is one that I let out to play, she's nice and an extravert (unlike the male me).
The cowboy is nice and gentlemanly, he's allowed out also.

I justify my life, by the fact I'm crazy (as in Crazy-nice, not crazy-killer) and if people think I'm crazy, well I ain't gonna argue caus that's to hard and to time consuming

[Angela Campbell]

I too was born this way. From my earliest memories I wanted to be a girl. I was different from the other boys. I was smaller, weaker, had less physical prowess, and developed much slower than all the others. I had little interest in the things the other boys did, but yet had so many interests that were a match with all the girls I knew. I knew all along, although no one else ever did.

[Raychel]

No real reasons or excuses here either, I never really fit in with the regular crowd, No I have grown to accept myself and
I know where I know why I do fit. So be it, I am happy with my life now.

[Rogina B]

Born this way and it has become the dominant personna and I am happy for it!

[Tess]

I wish I had a list of excuses but I can't think of a one. I just know that once I tried on my mother's cloths that I liked it and I was going to do it whenever I got the chance.

[flatlander_48]

I will offer no excuses as I don't believe that is appropriate. Similarly, I don't use the term "hobby" to describe crossdressing; at least in my opinion. So, in terms of possible reasons, I'll offer what appears below. I have no idea regarding which factors were significant. Neither is there any prioritization that I know of. At best I think it would take years of psychoanalysis...

• My parents separated when I was about 1 year old.
• I was a relatively tall, but skinny kid. When I graduated from college I was 5'-9 1/2", 135 pounds.
• Some illness as a child, but the most significant thing was arthritis starting at age 6.
• I grew up as an only child, but I have a brother who is 16 years younger.
• Always good in school, or at least as good as I wanted to be.
• My mother and I lived with my grandparents and an aunt and uncle.
• My father was a WW2 Navy veteran and our personalities are 180deg apart.
• My mother was very intelligent. She was trained by the Army to be a computer programmer in the mid-50's even though she never went to college.
• I believe I was molested by my aunt at maybe 5 or 6.
• I tended to quiet and fairly shy.
• I was often quite happy to keep my own company by reading or building model cars and airplanes. At other times, I was Very rebellious.
• I went through Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts up to freshman year in high school. I had about all I could stand as my father was an assistant Scoutmaster.
• I discovered my mother's old clothes in a back closet and would try on things at night when I was supposed to be sleeping. This was maybe age 10 or 11. I didn't do that again until I was 54 (am now 64).
• My mother was in a TB hospital for several months. That was a bad time because kids were not allowed inside. I was maybe 7 or 8 at that point.

Clearly there are factors above that suggest that the door was open to crossdress (figuratively), but basically all it does is raise questions. Anyway, I have no desire to dive into the Why. I take it as an Is...

[ThisIsBob]

Freddy, as a fellow CD with no transitional desires, I think a number of things led to this. I won't call them excuses, as I agree that has a negative connotation, but rather let's just call them "influences" or "contributing factors".

1) I was bullied as a kid as well, though mainly because I was a pretty textbook "nerd". I wore slacks instead of jeans all through elementary school, my hair was the next thing to a bowl cut, I had glasses from kindergarten through seventh grade, I made good grades without trying, etc. etc. I'd call myself an introvert, but I avoid introspection at all costs. I'm more asocial than introverted.

2) As something of a result of 1), I have developed low self-image. I know objectively that I'm an ok-looking guy, but I'll never think of myself as an attractive man.

3) As far as I can tell, my decision to dress en femme (fully try-to-pass instead of drag) back on Halloween 2001 was mostly a random whim. I was living with several GLB (but no T) roommates at the time, so maybe that opened me up to it some. (Edit: I also just remembered my hot female landlady was supposed to go out FtM with me that night, but bailed on that part due to depression and needing to feel pretty that night). The responses I got from coworkers (I won the costume contest at work) and from multiple random strangers when we went out clubbing 100 miles away in Houston that night was OVERWHELMINGLY positive, and that just floored me. While I was dancing with one of my roommates and her girlfriend out on the floor, we even had one guy come up and dance with us a few minutes, then say something to the effect of, "I can't believe I'm dancing with 3 hot chicks!". That was such an amazing ego boost for someone that had never (ever) been called hot to their face before.

4) In addition to the awesome external feedback I received that night, I also discovered that a shaved body & legs + a hot dress (the one I have on in my avatar ), heels, and nylons feels AMAZING.

Even after all that though, I just put all of the things I wore that night into a box, shoved it up on the top shelf in my closet and told myself, "Maybe Jamie will come out some Halloween in the future". It took 10 years almost to the day before Jamie came back out of that box, but she hasn't gone back since, and she now has an entire drawer along with a small section of closet.

I was a relatively tall, but skinny kid. When I graduated from college I was 5'-9 1/2", 135 pounds.

Me too... graduated high school at 5'10-3/4" 135 lbs. The USAF put about 15 pounds on me, so I run between 145-150 now. Heh, I was actually only 9 lbs above the MINIMUM weight to enlist.

[Anne2345]

Oh COME ON, people!!!! This is ridiculous!!! Lighten up, open up, have some fun, and don't take yourself too seriously!! Did y'all even read the words behind the OP?!! Did y'all get the meaning?!! Unless I am completely misreading Freddy, this is your opportunity to just have at it, say it, and put it out there, no matter how ridiculous, non-sensical, fantastical (is that a word?), or humorous your excuse may be!!!

In other words, "I was born this way" is totally boring, unimaginative, non-responsive, uninteresting, and not even the least bit entertaining.

Y'all can do better . . . .

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Freddi, It's just who I am, And it's what I do.

[flatlander_48]

Oh COME ON, people!!!! This is ridiculous!!! Lighten up, open up, have some fun, and don't take yourself too seriously!! Did y'all even read the words behind the OP?!! Did y'all get the meaning?!! Unless I am completely misreading Freddy, this is your opportunity to just have at it, say it, and put it out there, no matter how ridiculous, non-sensical, fantastical (is that a word?), or humorous your excuse may be!!!

In other words, "I was born this way" is totally boring, unimaginative, non-responsive, uninteresting, and not even the least bit entertaining.

Y'all can do better . . . .

Go ahead. Do better.

[drushin703]

There's this very large drag queen who frequents a local bar I often go to here in Detroit who always tells (reassures) me that there is nothing wrong with
dressing up like a girl. NOTHING. Then she often just saunters away as if 'enough has been said on the subject'. No excuses and no good reasons.
Crossdressing just happens in the same way that sauce happens, to modify the harsh or unpleasant characteristics of or to give zest or piquancy to life
on this earth. Trust me Frederique, it will end and no one, save the people on this site, will give a hoot why you chose this path.

I'm a crossdresser and I love it. Your a crossdresser and you love it more than most because you write about it all the time. Buy yourself a new dress.
Spray on some perfume. Comb the bangs of an old wig..Trust me, all your good reasons will melt away....dana

[Anne2345]

Go ahead. Do better.

Ha ha!! You are so cute!!! xoxoxox!!

Love,

Anne

[Gillian Gigs]

Whether they are excuses, or reasons the question is what got you so far down this road.
1. I was a loner who tended to get picked on by the other boys.
2. My rather remote father would dress me in panties, and/or girls clothes as a punishment when I was bad.
3. My sisters would call me a sissy while I was in the midst of my punishments.
4. I discovered the joy of Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters while dressed in lingerie.
5. I spent a lot of time in lingerie with Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters, and I mean a lot of time.
6. Old habits die hard, even harder when they are so enjoyable.
7. The clothes are still enjoyable to wear, and I feel sexy while dressed.

Is that enough reasons...excuses!

[Ceri Anne]

Curiosity was what drove me to try my moms stuff on when younger, and even my wifes stuff. I had always been very masuline, but also always had a sensitive, creative side, and most of my friends in high school were female (not girl friends, but I had those too) Then one weekend home alone, I had the urge to put on a dress, walk up and down the hall, looking in the full length mirror, and I wondered.......could I actually do this, could i pass and go out in public? Something clicked, my feminine side grabbed out at the pink fog and I felt comforatable, excited, nervous, afraid, and wonderful all at once. I now prefer to go out in fem, I meet more people that way than I ever have, and I still like my male self, but long for when Ceri can come out and play.

[Frédérique]

Excuse may be a strong word, so I apologize. You know what they say – any fish will bite if you got good bait! That doesn’t really mean anything, but I heard it in a song this afternoon and I wanted to stick it in somewhere…

I went through Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts up to freshman year in high school. I had about all I could stand as my father was an assistant Scoutmaster

Sheesh! I should’ve mentioned Cub Scouts! I think that was when I learned I wasn’t going to be like all the other boys. Like you, I quickly had about all I could stand, and I began to slip away from officially sanctioned normalcy. My father gave me his old Boy Scout manual, but I never got that far – wouldn’t it be fabulous if they had a merit badge for crossdressing, or a merit badge for tolerance (or acceptance)?! Yeah, I know – not in THIS life, Charlie…

Unless I am completely misreading Freddy, this is your opportunity to just have at it, say it, and put it out there, no matter how ridiculous, non-sensical, fantastical (is that a word?), or humorous your excuse may be!!!

My excuses ARE pretty ridiculous, but people wonder how things came about, so I tell them. It allows me to get creative! I definitely fell off of the rails, so there must’ve been something on the tracks that caused my derailment, i.e. cause and effect, correct? Hmmm... where did I go RIGHT? Maybe I was born during a New Moon or something, and my biorhythms got…ahem…crossed in some way…

BTW, I’m NOT depressed. I simply enjoy making lists…

PS – I forgot to mention that my girlfriend left one of her skirts at my house one day, and, after she left, I tried it on. The rest is HISTORY!!!

[giuseppina]

I had hips typical of a early teenage girl. At one point my hips were 15cm bigger than my waist. I got a lot of homophobic bullying in high school. Crossdressing continues to be an escape from the PTSD that developed from that and other issues.

[Amanda M]

Why would I need an excuse??????

[Melanie Sykes]

My excuse(s):

1) I was skinny as a child, with parents who were Christians, well-known (and well-liked) in the area. I wasn't 100% that I believed all this Christian stuff, but didn't want to talk about it in case I revealed these doubts to either side. So I think that edged me to introversion, and I got bullied a bit about churchgoing, though thankfully never seriously.

2) Because of 1, I didn't want to let my guard down to girls in case they thought I was weird. So although I had girl friends, I didn't have a proper girlfriend until I was 17 - even though a couple had asked me out. Until then, I admired them from afar and their clothes were a part of the whole visually-attractive package.

3) I had a girl friend a year older than me, and we grew up together. She and I didn't look alike or think alike. But I do remember when I was 4 or 5 seeing her in a pair of patent black Mary Janes and thinking that they were so pretty and that I'd love to have worn them.

4) Rachel (see 3) fell into my paddling pool one day, fully clothed. My mum had to put her in my clothes (yes, even underwear) for the rest of the day while hers dried. I racked my brains trying to think of a way in which the reverse could happen, but it never did. Must have been 5/6 years old.

5) A very pretty aunt used to wear gorgeous shoes that I noticed at an early age. I remember thinking how nice it must be to be that pretty and have those nice shoes.

6) I too would prefer to be different from others. I very much admire people who go their own way, or take the other path through life, or are responsible for their own happiness, and I’d like to be one of them. But I've been successfully brainwashed into feeling I must conform and always put others before myself, so externally I appear 'normal'.

7) My parents used to be involved in charity work shipping clothes out to poor countries in Eastern Europe. Our house was full of donated clothes waiting to be sorted and shipped. There were women's clothes of all sorts for all ages in there - I loved those bags of clothes!!

8) I went to a pretty rough comprehensive (high) school. The boys were gross - they way they acted and the way they talked about girls (and anyone at all, in fact), without a hint of respect or admiration. I pitied those boys for not being able to see the qualities in others that I could see, and vowed that I wouldn't be like them.

9) So instead of playing football, I played in the orchestra and took up the piano and more cerebral activities. Oh, and I put on girls clothes whenever I could get away with it. Later, I played the piano in bars now and again, but kept the girls clothes under my male ones.

10) I found that I absolutely love to shave my legs. But then it's such a waste of legs not to wear a nice skirt or dress too.

[Beverley Sims]

When I was nine I found a bra in the street.
It fitted me.