I don't understand why I or anybody else needs to see a therapist. I don't see my dressing as a problem. As far as I know if you have a problem then go see a therapist but society labels us as I problem so we have to take time out of our lives to be told what we already know. I personally think maybe society has issues and they should go see a therapist. .these are my personal feelings that I have to get off my chest.
Stevie you are so right and I agree with you fully...It is not us as CD's or others!
Originally Posted by Stevie
Sometimes life can be a bit complicated. In my case my wife found out by accident and it almost ruined my marriage. I saw a therapist to help put things back together. My CDing and gender issues were always a big part of that.
Hi Stevie
Though I almost agree I feel that therapy may help loved one cope with this side of us. Let's face it, this is something that 99% of the worlds population would see as something not right. When I told my exwife about it(and this is one person that supposedly loved me)she freaked out intensely to a point that she could not deal with it. Like you I know who I am but others may have trouble with it. So I feel that sometimes a third unbias party may help. Ever notice how your wife listens to others more so than to you? If I had not been so stubborn and seen a therapist with the exwife it may have helped save my marriage.
Stevie,
I do not have a problem either, I do not seek therapy for anything.
I have always made up my mind about what ever is wrong with my mind, body, etc.
Some need guidance as they have some insurmountable problem that they are unable to solve.
Some come here with marriages on the rocks and all they have is hate between partners.
They need a mediator to help them see reason. I think therapists are a mediator between some of us and our minds.
Those undergoing transition take hormones that change their bodies and mess with their minds, they sometimes become depressed and confused and all it takes is a second opinion to help them out.
Fortunately I feel I do not have any troubles and go along enjoying life and handing out homespun philosophy to others.
So because you and I are fortunate in life others do need help.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
The problem is that society makes us endure this guilt about being who we are and not accepting us as that person. Once we free ourselves of that guilt and realize that it is not Our problem, but Theirs then we can move along in life without all the baggage and enjoy living...no therapist required.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I agree. Wearing any type of clothing that you "like", is not a problem. Things should only be considered a problem with they disrupt and interfere with other parts of your life.
Stephanie
Very few people are complately self actualized, therapy can not only solve problems but give you someone objective to talk to where you might not get with a spouse or friend or Internet forums.
I'm married to a CDer, and neither one of us sees a therapist. However, I can see how talking with someone well educated and nonjudgmental could be really beneficial for some.
Just because some CDers are totally comfortable with themselves doesn't mean all are. Imagine living as a closet CDer surrounded by friends and family who make it glaringly obvious that they think such things are "disgusting" or "an abomination"... I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel to have your wife practically disown you, have your family torn apart, and have something so personal broadcast to every family member, friend, and neighbor just for spite. You can't take ALL THOSE PEOPLE to therapy and change THEM. But that one person could go and learn to be more accepting of themselves despite the reaction of others, learn to cope with the distress of such a horrible family breakup, learn how to express themselves to friends/loved ones in the future without dying of anxiety first, etc etc...
If dressing doesn't cause any problems for a person, then yay for them. But that's not to say that society is the only side that can have real problems. I don't consider therapy to be something to "fix" a cd/ts person, it's just to help them have a more abundant, happy life regardless of what their experiences are with society.
Macy's wife
I'm strongly considering a therapist, if I can find someone who isn't going to tell me that God will cure me. I'm having trouble adjusting to this side of myself, it will probably help to talk with someone.
Is it really stupid to feel so badly about something so trivial? Yes. Society is screwed up and intolerant. Does knowing that change my feelings of self doubt and loathing? Not one iota.
Many TS folks go to therapists as they are conflicted or go because it's a requirement within the Harry Benjamin standards to transition. I never had a problem with myself. I went to therapy to try and figure out how to deal with those of my family and friends who did have a problem with it. I was successful in that endeavor.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
when one is involved in an act, such as CDing, one does not see it as a problem. Driving too fast on the highway, not a problem (unless the other driver gets in your way). Jumping from an airplane with no parachute, not a problem (until you hit the ground). Cheating on your spouse, no problem (until she finds out and you have hurt her feelings). You could go on and on.
Personally, I don't find using a therapist helpful. I have worked my way through what many find confusing or questionable. However, a lot of people benefit from therapy, if for nothing more than having someone to talk to who won't be judgmental. If I continue my journey as it is going a therapist will become required. Hopefully a short requirement
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Did not do one thing for me.
I'm thinking that a therapist could be instrumental in helping the CDer see things from the spouse and other family members point of view. Possibly mellowing some of the selfishness we boys seem to be so good at, and helping us to find a real peace in ourselves.
My therapist told me to say this!
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
If it's not causing you any emotional pain or life troubles, then you probably don't need to see a therapist. You're one of the lucky ones.
However, many people in the CD/TS spectrum aren't so lucky. We either struggle with guilt, shame, or depression; or we're not sure how far things go and we're uncertain how to proceed; or we are in situations where spouses, parents, or others are causing us emotional pain. For us, therapy can be a helpful support unit.
Ali Edwards
Transgender Science ~ Blogging with WrodPress ~ Tweeting on Twitter
"I am half-sick of shadows," said / The Lady of Shalott.
Some things are only really able to be handled by a professional, and besides - do you want to be the Debbie Downer who constantly moans about her problems to whoever will listen?
If you feel like, for example, wishing to cease existing it's better to talk with a professional about it rather than put such a heavy burden on friends and or family who probably aren't equipped to handle it.
Imagine how they would feel knowing that they can't help you.
I thought about seeking therapy but this place helped me to understand all I need to know.
I feel like I'm walking into the middle of a conversation. Who said that you needed therapy?
I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back keep me here to wait for me so I don't go back out and miss myself when I return.
You don't have to have therapy... unless possibly if you are planning for HRT (I can't remember if they even require therapy as a prerequisite for that anymore) or you want SRS (which is done, at least in part, for liability reasons.)
She may be responding to the general trend. Therapy does sometimes seem to be a ubiquitous bit of advice for CDs and trans women.
Ali Edwards
Transgender Science ~ Blogging with WrodPress ~ Tweeting on Twitter
"I am half-sick of shadows," said / The Lady of Shalott.
That's how I feel.
It's a classic case of Your Milage May Vary. Whereas you don't see your dressing as a problem, other people here may have a terrible time in trying to reconcile what they've been told with the person that they are. Our society puts a lot of pressure on us, directly and indirectly, to conform to the notion of a binary gender construct. What counseling does, I believe, is help you to be more comfortable in your own skin and on your own terms. When we take charge of our own beings, it is a very empowering thing. Personally I prefer the idea of working on myself and taking care of myself. Even if I could get others (and it would have to be MANY others), how would I know that it would turn out like I would want? It's all about control. If I am working on myself, I am in control.
That said, from what I've read here and elsewhere suggests that there is a BIG variance in the effectiveness of the treatment people receive. Unfortunately some therapists bring their own bias into a situation. In theory they are not supposed to do that, but it isn't a perfect world. The trick is finding someone who can deal with their own prejudices well enough to be able to help you with your issues. I have a good friend who has a doctorate in psychology and finds it very helpful to have a personal counseling relationship. It just helps to keep things in perspective.
- Don't pet the sweaty things.
- Don't sweat the petty things.
I sought therapy because I am so darn close to being TS. Attempting to strike a balance, find inner peace and move through this world as a transidentified person is not easy. Crossdressing does not provide relief or sexual pleasure or any of that...it simply allows me to be who I am on the inside part of the time. I have to go out, be seen and have an active social life in order for me to be happy, all the while preserving a family life and career in boy mode. Easier said than actually done. I am not satisfied dressing in private...it does almost nothing for me....
Been there done that also
One of them told me i would out grow it
i look back on that and have not..
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